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BuzzJack Music Forum _ Movies and Theatre _ All Of Us Strangers • 2024
Posted by: Tafty³³³ 6th January 2024, 12:02 AM
Released 26th January 2024
Posted by: Tafty³³³ 6th January 2024, 12:04 AM
Another movie that's been released in the US and had a couple of "Unlimited"/"Secret" screenings here in the UK, but doesn't get an official release here until late January.
I'm a big Paul Mescal fan. I think he has such a promising career ahead of him and I like Andrew a lot too, so I am hyped for this. I've heard it's incredible and I think this is my most anticipated movie of January. For sure.
Posted by: Tafty³³³ 31st January 2024, 05:52 PM
Saw this on Sunday and I have barely stopped thinking about it ever since. It's devastatingly beautiful! Soul crushing and emotional all at once. Not sure about the ending (I didn't hate it though) and I think another watch may be needed to digest how that played out the way it did (I'm re-watching it tonight) but Andrew Scott is outstanding. Paul Mescal, Claire Foy & Jamie Bell are all brilliant too. Just so good and I can't recommend it enough.
Posted by: Chez Wombat 31st January 2024, 07:05 PM
Saw this at the weekend and it's a great film. Very dream-like and profound, fantastic performances from all of the main four, but particularly Andrew Scott. One of those rare films that manages to be totally heartbreaking but at the same time, optimistic and hopeful.
I was slightly mixed on the ending too it just felt such a gut punch that his friend likely killed himself after he turned him down the first time and when he finally made peace with his parents and accepted they were gone, he finds he was imagining the interactions. But then again, that could've been a scenario too. I like the interpretation that he is using these imagined scenarios to be able to unlock his emotions and be able to confidently show them in his scripts.
Posted by: dandy* 31st January 2024, 09:16 PM
We've booked to see this tomorrow so I'll already have watched 3 films this year at the cinema, which is way up on any of the preceding 10 years or so 
Posted by: Herbs 1st February 2024, 12:16 AM
Going to see this on Monday. Trying not to buy into the hype so I’m not disappointed if I think it’s average
Do love Andrew Scott though and I love Weekend/Looking
Posted by: Tafty³³³ 1st February 2024, 01:55 AM
I was slightly mixed on the ending too it just felt such a gut punch that his friend likely killed himself after he turned him down the first time and when he finally made peace with his parents and accepted they were gone, he finds he was imagining the interactions. But then again, that could've been a scenario too. I like the interpretation that he is using these imagined scenarios to be able to unlock his emotions and be able to confidently show them in his scripts.
I haven't stopped thinking about this since the first time I saw it on Sunday and I will probably be thinking about it for majority of this year.
Posted by: dandy* 1st February 2024, 11:26 PM
So I did see this tonight and it’s left me a real mixed state of emotions. I’ll type up something about what I think of it when I’m sure I’ve processed it correctly. It was definitely a very good film though but I don’t think everyone will get it, or at least what I think it was about. I’ve read some of the negative reviews and I’m happy for those people that they didn’t understand or relate to it.
I’d not actually seen anything about it aside from the trailer but something just drew me in about it. I certainly wasn’t expecting that plot at all. I think it’s the only time I’ve seen a film and come out relating so hard to what I’d just seen.
Posted by: dandy* 2nd February 2024, 12:30 PM
Genuinely does contain spoilers so don't read if you don't want big things ruined for you - and also it's a bit rambling because the film made me feel things I wasn't expecting so don't expect anything too coherent!
So I've had time to process it all a bit more and I still feel it's the most relatable movie I've seen in a long time. I think it dealt with an aspect of growing up queer that isn't often seen on tv or in films, and that's the longer lasting impacts of going through such a difficult time as a child. For me, the "I see dead people" element of the film was just a mechanism to be able to explore the chance of being able to talk through, as adults of the same age, the impact that society social norms can have on those that don't quite fit in to them, and of course in Harry's case the ultimate impact of feeling so pushed out to the boundaries that you can no longer cope.
It's Adam's story that most resonated with me though. The themes of sadness and loneliness running under the whole story are so true to life. The media often paints an image that gay people are all out clubbing none stop and hooking up with each other and that's what being gay is about (even excellent ground breaking shows like Queer as Folk and It's a Sin portrayed the community largely like that) - and maybe a fair proportion of the community may do that for all I know - but that was never how I felt and I've never directly related to any of those stories. Adam's story was much more like mine and how I feel at times... I'm not sure how much things will resonate with experiences of younger members on the site but my childhood was definitely one of underlying sadness and loneliness that is explored in the film. I'd never really thought about it before watching this film but I was definitely sad for most of it, to the extent where I wouldn't even realise it because it was so normal - which, like Adam, doesn't mean there weren't moments where I was also happy at the same time, or memories that I'm really fond of - it's just that when you feel you're not like everyone else, and more importantly when society around you continually emphasises that you're not like everyone else, it's really difficult not to have a default setting of lonely and sad - I can't emphasise enough how common it was that people you didn't even know would find it acceptable to shout at you or make you feel like shit by picking on you - and that left a huge mental impact, in that when others would just go for a walk in town, I'd go being on constant guard because I knew there was always likely to be some comment to fend off or pretend I wasn't bothered by. And that doesn't go away for a long time, or if it does go away then like the film said it's still waiting somewhere in you and it doesn't take a lot for it to quickly emerge again.
I think the whole point around the tower block being empty wasn't that it was truly unoccupied, more that it may as well have been because the main characters felt so lonely and disconnected that they may as well have been on their own. Harry feeling that way as a younger person who has been excluded by his family because they wouldn't accept him in the same way as his other siblings (which is heartbreakingly true, parents and families don't have to be horrible or nasty to exclude you but you can just end up no longer in the centre of the family because you're not the one who is producing grandchildren for them or getting married etc and that can start a mental drift that can easily leave people feeling like they're lonely and no longer a key part of the family group) - the end result of him not being able to cope and ultimately killing himself (either intentionally or through alcohol/drug misuse) is one that is a more familiar narrative.
Adam's story is less frequently told, one where he has seemingly conquered his childhood experiences and should be feeling happy because society has moved on and we're all way more tolerant of everything these days etc... but in reality he hasn't moved on at all, he's still lonely and scared but just developed a way of masking it (the lines around how he started anew in Ireland after his parents had died and wouldn't let it happen again etc are for me around how kids learn how to mask everything and how to behave as though everything is okay) and ultimately leads to him not being comfortable enough to allow Harry in on that critical night (at the end Adam says he was just scared) because he's become so used to the underlying loneliness that he doesn't really know how to move out of that position. For me the film is less about "I see dead people" and more about "I don't see alive people" - in that Adam is so detached and living an insular life as a result of his very typical childhood experiences, it's telling for me that you don't see Adam interact with a single alive person in the whole film, aside from Harry briefly when he closed the door on him. So, for me, despite society having moved on, it's still important to realise that people who experienced these sorts of bullying and attacks during their formative years are still damaged and affected by their experiences. There's that part where his mum says "they say it's a really lonely life" and Adam instinctively comes back with "things have changed mum" as that's the modern narrative but I think the character realised that despite saying that, actually things hadn't changed underneath it for him at all. Him not knowing if he was in love or not, because basically he'd never allowed himself to open up or be close to anyone, was also poignant - and of course it being incredibly tragic in the end that we thought he'd finally managed to do it but it wasn't actually real and he'd dreamed it - or, it was real but the person no longer was, I don't think it matters which of the two scenarios were intended as they're basically the same impact.
I thought the four main characters were wonderfully and very realistically portrayed. The things the parents were still saying were so true to the types of things that used to be said and thought all the time in those days, and Adam's honesty in describing how he felt was complex but also very true to life. And his parents reactions to knowing they contributed to that were really emotionally complex scenes, and I don't think a lot of straight people truly understand the impact they had so it was really refreshing to hear characters reflecting back on how badly they handled a situation - even if it's because they didn't know better, or they felt their own pressures and fears from society - but still being sorry about the impact of their actions. And for Harry and Adam, who both on many occasions apologised or made others feel okay by basically explaining that by now they were used to the idea of having low expectations of their life and future happiness was really moving. It was interesting to see Jamie play a dad who was so upset about how he had handled everything with his son after starting his career as a gay character that was different and bullied in Billy Elliot, felt a bit like a circle being closed off there. I feel like they dealt with some really difficult and cross cutting themes in the film, but it was all done so well and with such warmth and honesty - and humour too, I definitely smiled and laughed along the way. I'm still feeling so many different emotions as a result of watching it, I didn't know whether to smile or cry at the times - as it made me feel sad, but it also made me feel kinda seen and understood in a way that no other film ever has.
On a much less emotional note - the soundtrack was also so good! I loved the way they acknowledged music as being a huge part of his life (another thing that made me feel seen!) and the way they deliberately referenced music from queer acts and had him watching old TOTP repeats - and importantly the scene at christmas that had Always On My Mind playing, not only was the use of lyrics really sweet with the mum saying them to Adam, but is was factually correct for chart geeks to have it playing at the time of year it was actually #1
Anyway... I feel like I've definitely just rambled on here and there were so many other lines and references that I found pertinent that I could go on forever... but yeah it was a really good film, I'll be surprised if there's one I like more this year.
Posted by: JackTheeStallion 2nd February 2024, 12:35 PM
I really want to watch this but I'm scared it'll push me over the edge as I've been feeling low recently already lmao. I know that sounds silly, but I can't handle trauma 😭
Posted by: dandy* 2nd February 2024, 01:11 PM
I don't think that sounds silly at all. One of my take aways is definitely that it hit me in ways that I just wasn't expecting - and, if you have been feeling low (sorry to hear this 
) then it's really sensible to manage your engagement with things. It'll still be there available to watch when you're hopefully in a better place
Posted by: Tafty³³³ 2nd February 2024, 02:44 PM
So I've had time to process it all a bit more and I still feel it's the most relatable movie I've seen in a long time. I think it dealt with an aspect of growing up queer that isn't often seen on tv or in films, and that's the longer lasting impacts of going through such a difficult time as a child. For me, the "I see dead people" element of the film was just a mechanism to be able to explore the chance of being able to talk through, as adults of the same age, the impact that society social norms can have on those that don't quite fit in to them, and of course in Harry's case the ultimate impact of feeling so pushed out to the boundaries that you can no longer cope.
It's Adam's story that most resonated with me though. The themes of sadness and loneliness running under the whole story are so true to life. The media often paints an image that gay people are all out clubbing none stop and hooking up with each other and that's what being gay is about (even excellent ground breaking shows like Queer as Folk and It's a Sin portrayed the community largely like that) - and maybe a fair proportion of the community may do that for all I know - but that was never how I felt and I've never directly related to any of those stories. Adam's story was much more like mine and how I feel at times... I'm not sure how much things will resonate with experiences of younger members on the site but my childhood was definitely one of underlying sadness and loneliness that is explored in the film. I'd never really thought about it before watching this film but I was definitely sad for most of it, to the extent where I wouldn't even realise it because it was so normal - which, like Adam, doesn't mean there weren't moments where I was also happy at the same time, or memories that I'm really fond of - it's just that when you feel you're not like everyone else, and more importantly when society around you continually emphasises that you're not like everyone else, it's really difficult not to have a default setting of lonely and sad - I can't emphasise enough how common it was that people you didn't even know would find it acceptable to shout at you or make you feel like shit by picking on you - and that left a huge mental impact, in that when others would just go for a walk in town, I'd go being on constant guard because I knew there was always likely to be some comment to fend off or pretend I wasn't bothered by. And that doesn't go away for a long time, or if it does go away then like the film said it's still waiting somewhere in you and it doesn't take a lot for it to quickly emerge again.
I think the whole point around the tower block being empty wasn't that it was truly unoccupied, more that it may as well have been because the main characters felt so lonely and disconnected that they may as well have been on their own. Harry feeling that way as a younger person who has been excluded by his family because they wouldn't accept him in the same way as his other siblings (which is heartbreakingly true, parents and families don't have to be horrible or nasty to exclude you but you can just end up no longer in the centre of the family because you're not the one who is producing grandchildren for them or getting married etc and that can start a mental drift that can easily leave people feeling like they're lonely and no longer a key part of the family group) - the end result of him not being able to cope and ultimately killing himself (either intentionally or through alcohol/drug misuse) is one that is a more familiar narrative.
Adam's story is less frequently told, one where he has seemingly conquered his childhood experiences and should be feeling happy because society has moved on and we're all way more tolerant of everything these days etc... but in reality he hasn't moved on at all, he's still lonely and scared but just developed a way of masking it (the lines around how he started anew in Ireland after his parents had died and wouldn't let it happen again etc are for me around how kids learn how to mask everything and how to behave as though everything is okay) and ultimately leads to him not being comfortable enough to allow Harry in on that critical night (at the end Adam says he was just scared) because he's become so used to the underlying loneliness that he doesn't really know how to move out of that position. For me the film is less about "I see dead people" and more about "I don't see alive people" - in that Adam is so detached and living an insular life as a result of his very typical childhood experiences, it's telling for me that you don't see Adam interact with a single alive person in the whole film, aside from Harry briefly when he closed the door on him. So, for me, despite society having moved on, it's still important to realise that people who experienced these sorts of bullying and attacks during their formative years are still damaged and affected by their experiences. There's that part where his mum says "they say it's a really lonely life" and Adam instinctively comes back with "things have changed mum" as that's the modern narrative but I think the character realised that despite saying that, actually things hadn't changed underneath it for him at all. Him not knowing if he was in love or not, because basically he'd never allowed himself to open up or be close to anyone, was also poignant - and of course it being incredibly tragic in the end that we thought he'd finally managed to do it but it wasn't actually real and he'd dreamed it - or, it was real but the person no longer was, I don't think it matters which of the two scenarios were intended as they're basically the same impact.
I thought the four main characters were wonderfully and very realistically portrayed. The things the parents were still saying were so true to the types of things that used to be said and thought all the time in those days, and Adam's honesty in describing how he felt was complex but also very true to life. And his parents reactions to knowing they contributed to that were really emotionally complex scenes, and I don't think a lot of straight people truly understand the impact they had so it was really refreshing to hear characters reflecting back on how badly they handled a situation - even if it's because they didn't know better, or they felt their own pressures and fears from society - but still being sorry about the impact of their actions. And for Harry and Adam, who both on many occasions apologised or made others feel okay by basically explaining that by now they were used to the idea of having low expectations of their life and future happiness was really moving. It was interesting to see Jamie play a dad who was so upset about how he had handled everything with his son after starting his career as a gay character that was different and bullied in Billy Elliot, felt a bit like a circle being closed off there. I feel like they dealt with some really difficult and cross cutting themes in the film, but it was all done so well and with such warmth and honesty - and humour too, I definitely smiled and laughed along the way. I'm still feeling so many different emotions as a result of watching it, I didn't know whether to smile or cry at the times - as it made me feel sad, but it also made me feel kinda seen and understood in a way that no other film ever has.
On a much less emotional note - the soundtrack was also so good! I loved the way they acknowledged music as being a huge part of his life (another thing that made me feel seen!) and the way they deliberately referenced music from queer acts and had him watching old TOTP repeats - and importantly the scene at christmas that had Always On My Mind playing, not only was the use of lyrics really sweet with the mum saying them to Adam, but is was factually correct for chart geeks to have it playing at the time of year it was actually #1
Anyway... I feel like I've definitely just rambled on here and there were so many other lines and references that I found pertinent that I could go on forever... but yeah it was a really good film, I'll be surprised if there's one I like more this year.
---
Jack, hope everything is ok! I agree with dandy in that the movie will be there available for you to watch when you are ready and hopefully feeling in a better place.
Posted by: dandy* 2nd February 2024, 06:00 PM
Oh I'm definitely going to try to watch his other films, even if they're only half as good. I'll try to start with Weekend in that case, especially if it's set in Notts
Posted by: Herbs 7th February 2024, 08:24 AM
Watched this film the other day
Have to admit I didn’t find it as emotionally draining as I expected (although I did expect to cry repeatedly)
Such a beautiful film overall and one I keep thinking back to. For some reason I had an idea of what was going to happen with one of the characters at the end and I was mostly right (the brutalness of it was unexpected)
Amazing performances from the 4 main cast and I really liked the way it showed you the opinion of gay people in the 80s and how this has changed over the years
Would definitely recommend it to people
Posted by: dandy* 7th February 2024, 10:59 AM
I knew as well so can totally relate! I wasn’t totally sure which it would be but I definitely had suspicions that the film would end in a similar way to how it panned out
Posted by: spiceboy 10th February 2024, 04:56 PM
Definitely going to see it when there is a subtitled screening after this review, already wanted to but now I'm desperate to
Posted by: Herbs 10th February 2024, 05:45 PM
I can’t wait to watch it again. Still thinking about it a week later
Posted by: Jessie Where 28th February 2024, 02:54 PM
I watched this on Sunday and the emotional intensity of it is still weighing quite heavy. I totally got the struggle for self-acceptance and having lost a parent that aspect of it hit me hard too.
The Harry part totally broke my heart, I was so holding out for that happy ending. 
Posted by: Steve201 29th February 2024, 09:53 PM
Is this in the cinema just?
Posted by: Herbs 29th February 2024, 11:48 PM
Only in cinema but will likely go to streaming soon (from stuff I’ve seen)
Posted by: Tafty³³³ 13th March 2024, 09:54 AM
Coming to Disney+ March 20th! 1 WEEK!
Posted by: Herbs 13th March 2024, 12:10 PM
Yes! Great to see
Posted by: Simon. 13th March 2024, 01:50 PM
Oh this film just made me cry and cry.
Posted by: spiceboy 12th April 2024, 06:09 PM
Finally got round to watching this and goodness me I sobbed!! A brilliant film, incredible acting!
Posted by: Herbs 12th April 2024, 07:11 PM
I did a second watch the other week and was intrigued to see if it would still have the same impact. Elements didn't hit me as much (the ones that were shocks in the first viewing), but still a beautiful all round film
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