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[Qassändra]

And so MF season BEGINS AGAIN. It's probably for the best given how much the MF thread tends to overload each year that we split each heat into its own thread - which makes things easier to follow, but also gives grounds for BIG SEXY INTRODUCTIONS. So, set your tits to excited and ready to be destroyed gays, because we have KEMPE, a BLACK WOMAN, and SOME FREAK who normally dresses up as a Japanese doll and does J-Pop rock but has the writing team behind some of Linda Bengtzing's biggest MF smashes behind him, so there's PLENTY to be getting on with here.

So. 8 artists. 2 direkt till Swedbank Arena (), where the final will be held in six weeks. 2 till andra chansen, the second chance round. 4 till misery, shame, and an almost certainly finished career. And it's on each week for the next four weeks. How did we COPE without such drama the rest of the year?

So, regardless of whether you're a total newbie who just tunes into the Eurovision final because there's nothing on after Britain's Got Talent, or whether you're a hardcore nutjob who knows his Caroline Wennergrens from his Susanne Alfvengrens, GET ON BOARD. It's better than your life and pretty much anything British television can manage. Plus, at least 24 keepers for the iPod on average out of the 32, usually. NU KÖR VI!

-x-


David Lindgren - Skyline
Text och musik: Christian Fast, Fernando Fuentes och Henrik Nordenback
Best known for: Shout It Out, 4th place at MF 2012
Ladbrokes odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected finish): 1.44 / 4/9 / 1st
Ladbrokes odds on winning Melodifestivalen (d / f): 3.75 / 11/2

THE unquestioned surprise package of Melodifestivalen 2012, David was drafted in at the last minute after a twist of fate. SVT couldn't find a singer for a track they thought would be in with big chances, 'Porslin' (more on this LATER), and picky queen Danny chucked the track he had at the time on the reject pile along with 'Euphoria' (whereupon it was picked up by Loreen, and the rest is history) and plumped for 'Amazing'. That rejected track, 'To The Sky', was given to David (until that point a near-total unknown who'd done the odd musical and acting role), reswizzled as 'Shout It Out', and pretty much dismissed as an also-ran until the performance itself where David stole the show and ended up winning the heat over big favourite Ulrik Munther, the unholy lovechild of Justin Bieber and Ed Sheeran (more on him in a few weeks). So, after finishing fourth in the final (just below Ulrik) and bursting onto the scene in a big way last year, you can bet David's going to be one of the contenders this year - but at the same time, the opening slot of the entire Melodifestivalen isn't exactly one renowned for success, with only one artist going straight to the final from the opening spot in the first heat since Melodifestivalen changed to the heats system in 2002. Can David buck the trend, get to the final, and beat out Ulrik Munther this time round?


Cookies N Beans - Burning Flags
Text och musik: Fredrik Kempe
Best known for: What If?, 5th place in heat 2 at MF 2009
Ladbrokes odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected finish): 10.00 / 9/1 / 7th
Ladbrokes odds on winning Melodifestivalen (d / f): 67.00 / 66/1

Looking like three men in the dourest drag you've ever seen along with possibly the WORST band name you've ever seen, this country trio was last seen in the second heat of Melodifestivalen 2009, where they finished fifth and came within 6,000 votes of denying THE GREATEST MELODIFESTIVALEN SONG OF ALL TIME (in my humble opinion) of a slot in andra chansen. Needless to say, I'm not their biggest FANZ, but OH. What is THIS? These exceedingly unhot bitches have hooked themselves up with one of THE top-tier schlager writers when it comes to Melodifestivalen, Fredrik Kempe (also responsible for Cara mia, Hero, La voix, The Girl, and the indomitable Popular, amongst others), so it's probably going to be worth a spin.

But then, Kempe was ALSO responsible for Tid att andas, so it's equally likely this could end up being so terrible only Pavel has the requisite lack of dignity to sperm all over it. We shall SEE. Can Cookies N Beans coast off Kempe's name and go where they couldn't quite manage in 2009?


Jay-Jay Johanson - Paris
Text och musik: Jäje Johanson
Best known for: Collaborating with The Knife on Marble House
Ladbrokes odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected finish): 13.00 / 12/1 / 8th
Ladbrokes odds on winning Melodifestivalen (d / f): 67.00 / 66/1

This is a difficult one to get a hold on - a trip-hop artist who's experimented with electroclash and is known for his melancholy vocals and collaborations with the likes of The Knife and The Cocteau Twins, Jay-Jay doesn't really seem like the sort of artist most naturally suited to Melodifestivalen, sounding much more like the sort of guy who'd be more at home on an Unknown Pleasures compilation. However, this is the beauty of Melodifestivalen - it's never been all schlager (indeed, if anything there's been a risk in the last couple of years that we're moving towards there never BEING schlager) and there's a pretty big range of genres to pick from, so it'd be difficult for anyone to come away from a year without finding at least one track they enjoy. But anyway, Jay-Jay hasn't really had a hit in quite a while and I'm not sure to what extent he ever was big in Sweden (although he's had a couple of sort-of hit albums in France). On one hand, this could really take off and connect with the audience. On the other, it's far more likely to come off too cool for school and wind up finishing eighth. Does Jay-Jay stand a chance of going any further?


Mary N'Diaye - Gosa
Text och musik: Johan Åsgärde, Mattias Frändå och Mary N’Diaye
Best known for: Being a semi-finalist on the Swedish edition of The Voice, but to online gays probably better known for last year's Euphoriesque stomper Big Dreamer
Ladbrokes odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected finish): 4.5 / 7/2 / 6th
Ladbrokes odds on winning Melodifestivalen (d / f): 21.00 / 20/1

The reality TV to Eurovision attempts path has been trod just as much in Sweden as it has done in the UK, but with one key exception: it isn't shameful over there, Sweden of course being probably the most Eurovision-mad nation there is. As such, their reality stars tend to end up with pretty good tracks in their Eurovision attempts and can end up as Swedish stars in their own right as a result (after all, one would bet the likes of Linda Bengtzing, Måns Zelmerlöw, The Moniker, Danny and Loreen are far better known for their attempts in the Swedish Eurovision selection process now than they are for failing to win their respective years in Idol or Fame Factory). And here's the other key difference between Melodifestivalen and the British selection process - there's no shame in not winning. Only in not qualifying, and even then you might get a bit of sympathy if you scrape to fifth (but don't count on it).

Anyway, following in the wake of that illustrious list of names (you may laugh, but when was the last time YOU helmed anything as amazing as Jag ljuger så bra?) is Ms N'Diaye. Gosa (translated as Cuddle - doesn't that make it sound far less likely to be a total stomper? ) is described as an uplifting dance track with tribal influences, so we can bet that it's probably not going to be the carbon copy of Big Dreamer we were all waiting for. Can Mary take her meagre fanbase and overcome the other big names in this heat, or will she wind up being another tribally-influenced footnote like 2010's Yeba?


Eric Gadd - Vi kommer aldrig att förlora
Text och musik: Eric Gadd, Thomas Stenström och Jacob Olofsson
Best known for: A distinguished, heavily Prince-influenced career in Sweden. His last hit in 2008, Tvåhundratusen, is pretty brilliant if you like that sound.
Ladbrokes odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected finish): 3.25 / 9/4 / 4th
Ladbrokes odds on winning Melodifestivalen (d / f): 26.00 / 25/1

(So far as I know, unrelated to Paul Gadd of Gary Glitter fame)

We come to the first of the Swedish megastars in this year's Melodifestivalen. Of course, almost totally unknown to us, but Eric Gadd is big business in Sweden - he's been going since 1987, has released 11 albums in that time, and is now on the level of almost being a heritage act by now - he's releasing big band covers albums and touring them, so we'll assume he's working at a Carola level of fame where he can afford to get away with this shit. Anyway, you might look at that picture and immediately turn off, but word is that this track wouldn't sound out of place on Petra Marklund's (i.e. her what used to be September) recent Inferno album. In which case, add that to Tvåhundratusen and I'm inexplicably excited. This is likely to be challenging for direkt till finalen in any case given Eric's huge Swedish fanbase (although that didn't quite work for Thomas di Leva last year...), but could this cross over to a younger demographic and challenge for the win? At tripling your money if he makes it straight to the final on those odds, I'd be tempted...


YOHIO - Heartbreak Hotel
Text och musik: Johan Fransson, Tobias Lundgren, Tim Larsson, Henrik Göranson och YOHIO
Best known for: Being big in Japan. Literally. His best-known track is probably Sky Limit
Ladbrokes odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected finish): 2.5 / 6/4 / 3rd
Ladbrokes odds on winning Melodifestivalen (d / f): 21.00 / 20/1

Here's an odd one. YOHIO is a straight 17 year old Swedish boy who practices 'visual kei', which is basically dressing up to look like a Japanese girl (here's a promo picture. He must look worse than Katy Perry without make-up). Anyway, as you can probably guess he's gotten a tonne of press attention in Sweden and Japan, so this entry has a fair bit of hype behind it. He's normally until now done a style of Japanese rock which wouldn't be expected to go down all that well in Melodifestivalen, but word is that this entry's going to be a Westernised version of J-Pop (I'm guessing something akin to A*M*E's 'Play The Game Boy', except more Swedish) so it'll probably have a pretty stand-out energetic stage performance. The interesting thing about this entry though is the writers - the gold standard Play Productions team which has been behind the likes of Alcastar, Alla flickor, and Hur svårt kan det va?, so there could well yet be a touch of schlager to the proceedings this Saturday. Whatever happens though, this is near-certain to be event television. Can YOHIO live up to the hype and go direkt till finalen?


Anna Järvinen - Porslin
Text och musik: Björn Olsson och Martin Elisson
Best known for: Multi-Grammi nominated albums and collaborating with Melody Club on I Don't Believe In Angels
Ladbrokes odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected finish): 4.33 / 10/3 / 5th
Ladbrokes odds on winning Melodifestivalen (d / f): 26.00 / 25/1

Anna was due to take part with this last year, but pulled out at the last moment for unknown reasons, giving David Lindgren the chance to take the spotlight. SVT tried for a while to find a replacement singer, and for a while it looked like Magnus Carlsson (formerly of Alcazar and MF 2006 finalist with Lev livet!) would end up fronting it, but for whatever reason it didn't go through and SVT were quite open about being disappointed that Porslin hadn't entered, believing it to be a real contender. Still, ignore all that: Anna's sorted out whatever issues she had with entering last year and she's here now. This one's got a bit of potential - formerly of Swedish 90s pop group Granada, after their split in 2003 Anna went on to release three critically acclaimed albums, the first two getting several Swedish Grammi award nominations, and the most recent, Anna själv tredje, being her most successful yet in 2011. Whether it'll cross over is yet to be seen, but SVT have certainly been keen to have her. Can she live up to the rumblings that this is indeed something quite special?


Michael Feiner och Caisa - We're Still Kids
Text och musik: Michael Feiner och Caisa Ahlroth
Best known for: Feiner - one half of The Attic, 7th in heat 3 of MF 2007 with The Arrival (feat. Therese), which has since gone on to be the Melodifestivalen incidental theme tune. Caisa - collaborating with Feiner on 2012 hit I Do
Ladbrokes odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected finish): 2.1 / 11/10 / 2nd
Ladbrokes odds on winning Melodifestivalen (d / f): 26.00 / 25/1

This one's difficult to call. Feiner clearly hasn't been put off by the failure of 2007's gay-acclaimed obligatory Melodinjustice The Arrival, which you'll still hear heralded as the greatest track of the 00s on certain nights in the Royal Vauxhall Tavern (it wasn't.), and he's clearly capable of coming up with a more classy take on the Guetta sound with his new collaboration partner Caisa, as evidenced above on I Do. Normally I'd have this down as another projected Melodinjustice - were it not for the fact that the draw within the heats is typically quite telling. There must really be something to this to get it the pimp slot of closing the heat, especially ahead of some of the other names in here (not least David Lindgren, who's probably huffing away at being the opener). And, given this is the slot Loreen had last year, if there was going to be any year when closing the first heat would get a track special attention, this would be it. So, this is probably in big contention to take the shine off David Lindgren's coronation in this heat - but can it actually deliver, or will it be another tale of a great dance track that's not suited at all to the Melodifestivalen stage?

-x-

Here's the timetable for the week:

Wednesday: The Swedish media will release song descriptions along with official lyrics
Thursday: Minute long rehearsal clips will be uploaded to SVT, along with rehearsal reviews from the media (take it with a pinch of salt however - last year Loreen's clip underwhelmed hugely, while only the media hype going into overdrive post-rehearsal gave any hint as to what lay ahead)
Friday: Reviews of the second rehearsal will be released, along with the notoriously hit-or-miss results of the gen-rep poll of audience members at the rehearsal
Saturday: In the afternoon, we'll either get 2:30 clips of the songs (to deter piracy) or the full songs themselves uploaded to SVT. A livestream of the heat will start at 7pm GMT on svt.se

So, go ahead and start your predictions for who'll finish where, speculations on the tracks, and of course, the build-up to the obligatory fangasms over snippets and the show itself. I can't WAIT! *.*

This post has been edited by Kanduälska: 27th January 2013, 06:42 PM