  |
 The Manchester United School Of Mathematics: TEST |
| Track this thread | Email this thread | Print this thread | Download this thread | Subscribe to this forum |
  27th April 2008, 07:51 PM
Post
#1
|
|
 IncredibleSquirrel
Joined: 8 March 2006
Posts: 25,845 User: 118 
          |
1. ACCELERATION. Wayne is 78 yards away from the referee. Gary is 65 yards away. If Wayne can run at 21 mph & Gary at 16 mph, who will be sticking their vein-bulging forehead into the hapless whistler's face first, assuming Wayne does not stop to stamp on an opponent.
2. TELLING THE TIME. If 1 minute of time is taken up in a game for substitutions, 1 minute for injuries & Man Utd are losing at home, how much injury time will the referee add until the ‘Mighty Reds’ summon an equaliser? (Round answers down to nearest 5 mins). 3. PROBABILITY. Ryan is a Welshman. Express, as a percentage, the number of internationals missed on a Wednesday evening, compared to the miraculous recoveries made the following Saturday. 4. SUBTRACTION. Man Utd are a giant of world football. How many more European Cup Finals have they appeared in than Steaua Bucharest & Reims? 5. SUBTRACTION. How many more times have Man Utd won the European Cup than Nottingham Forest? 6. DISTANCE. You are the referee at Old Trafford. How near to a visiting defender does a tumbling Christiano have to be to earn a penalty? (Round answers down to nearest 10 yards.) 7. PROBABILITY. Express the statistical probability of Old Trafford visitors being awarded a penalty. Compare this with the probability of opponents of Man Utd being awarded a penalty home or away. Then discuss if a penalty awarded to Man Utd would be awarded to their opponents in identical circumstances. 8. ACCOUNTING. Mark lives in Guildford. How much does it cost for him & his two sons to travel to the ‘Theatre of Dreams’ every other weekend, including limited edition matchday programme, drinks & prawn sandwiches? How much could he save per week if he just bothers to supports his local team instead? (Round answers down to nearest £1000) 9. ACCOUNTING. Alex had hotel rooms booked in Cardiff for the FA Cup Final. How much money was lost when cancelling reservations between 2000-2003? 10. WEIGHT/PRESSURE. Christiano is 6ft tall, very strong and fast. How much pressure need be applied to make him tumble over in the opponent's penalty area? 11. MONEY. Juan was a lazy boy & often went missing. Alex was very cross and wanted to sell him. If Juan cost £28m to buy, how much do you think Alex sold him for? How much did Alex lose? 12. FARMING. What is the total number of chickens counted before hatched by Man Utd & their fans who thought West Ham, Exeter & Burton were pushovers? 13. ARITHMETIC. A Man Utd fan shrieks at 35 decibels. Visiting supporters shout at 65 decibels. If during a match, 5% of Man Utd fans are munching prawn sandwiches, 10% are stuck on the M25, 2% are asleep and 15% are still trying to work out which team is which, how many visitors are needed to out-shout 60,000 Reds? 14. WEIGHT/PRESSURE. Rio kicks a female steward who isn't hurt and laughs it off. How high does the same pressure kick project Ronaldo in the air the following game? How long is he on the ground rolling about in pain? This post has been edited by RabbitFurCoat: 27th April 2008, 07:52 PM |
 |
 
|
|
27th April 2008, 08:08 PM
Post
#2
|
|
|
;>
Joined: 1 October 2006
Posts: 17,717 User: 1,542
 |
QUOTE(RabbitFurCoat @ Apr 27 2008, 08:52 PM)  1. ACCELERATION. Wayne is 78 yards away from the referee. Gary is 65 yards away. If Wayne can run at 21 mph & Gary at 16 mph, who will be sticking their vein-bulging forehead into the hapless whistler's face first, assuming Wayne does not stop to stamp on an opponent. wayne 2. TELLING THE TIME. If 1 minute of time is taken up in a game for substitutions, 1 minute for injuries & Man Utd are losing at home, how much injury time will the referee add until the ‘Mighty Reds’ summon an equaliser? (Round answers down to nearest 5 mins).15 mins 3. PROBABILITY. Ryan is a Welshman. Express, as a percentage, the number of internationals missed on a Wednesday evening, compared to the miraculous recoveries made the following Saturday.99.9 4. SUBTRACTION. Man Utd are a giant of world football. How many more European Cup Finals have they appeared in than Steaua Bucharest & Reims?..Lots? 5. SUBTRACTION. How many more times have Man Utd won the European Cup than Nottingham Forest?None 6. DISTANCE. You are the referee at Old Trafford. How near to a visiting defender does a tumbling Christiano have to be to earn a penalty? (Round answers down to nearest 10 yards.)50 7. PROBABILITY. Express the statistical probability of Old Trafford visitors being awarded a penalty. Compare this with the probability of opponents of Man Utd being awarded a penalty home or away. Then discuss if a penalty awarded to Man Utd would be awarded to their opponents in identical circumstances.Visitors getting pen at Old Trafford: Very Unlikely. Man Utd conceding a penalty away from Old Trafford: Very unlikely. In conclusion, Man Utd are more likely to get a penalty than Derby County in identical circumstances 8. ACCOUNTING. Mark lives in Guildford. How much does it cost for him & his two sons to travel to the ‘Theatre of Dreams’ every other weekend, including limited edition matchday programme, drinks & prawn sandwiches? How much could he save per week if he just bothers to supports his local team instead? (Round answers down to nearest £1000)More than I earn a year 9. ACCOUNTING. Alex had hotel rooms booked in Cardiff for the FA Cup Final. How much money was lost when cancelling reservations between 2000-2003?As above 10. WEIGHT/PRESSURE. Christiano is 6ft tall, very strong and fast. How much pressure need be applied to make him tumble over in the opponent's penalty area?Not very much 11. MONEY. Juan was a lazy boy & often went missing. Alex was very cross and wanted to sell him. If Juan cost £28m to buy, how much do you think Alex sold him for? How much did Alex lose?Double the price, thats why they call him Fergie Fibbs 12. FARMING. What is the total number of chickens counted before hatched by Man Utd & their fans who thought West Ham, Exeter & Burton were pushovers?Enough to run about 40,000 farms 13. ARITHMETIC. A Man Utd fan shrieks at 35 decibels. Visiting supporters shout at 65 decibels. If during a match, 5% of Man Utd fans are munching prawn sandwiches, 10% are stuck on the M25, 2% are asleep and 15% are still trying to work out which team is which, how many visitors are needed to out-shout 60,000 Reds?4 14. WEIGHT/PRESSURE. Rio kicks a female steward who isn't hurt and laughs it off. How high does the same pressure kick project Ronaldo in the air the following game? How long is he on the ground rolling about in pain?Sends him about 5 feet in the air, and he is on the floor rolling around until the referee notices and awards a free kick/penalty What do I win? 
|
|
|
|
|
27th April 2008, 08:09 PM
Post
#3
|
|
|
IncredibleSquirrel
Joined: 8 March 2006
Posts: 25,845 User: 118
|
For getting no.5 wrong, nothing.
|
|
|
|
|
27th April 2008, 08:10 PM
Post
#4
|
|
|
BuzzJack Platinum Member
Joined: 11 September 2006
Posts: 14,913 User: 1,286
   |
 there's one missing.Approximately how many times in total will Sir Alex Ferguson tap his watch on the 45th minute and 90th minute? |
|
|
|
|
27th April 2008, 08:19 PM
Post
#5
|
|
|
I've got an iPod classic and I'm gonna use it!
Joined: 7 March 2006
Posts: 39,988 User: 72
   |
I love it:
I've got these oldies but goodies from a Liverpool FC site (so apologies to any fans of the Soccer Club United of Manchester), but then again they are pretty much interchangeable for any rival club: Q: Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall their 1999 Manchester United Treble commererative stamps? A: People couldn't figure out which side to spit on. Q: What do Manchester United Fans and sperm have in common? A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being. Q: What do you have when 100 Manchester United Fans are buried up to their necks in sand? A: Not enough sand. Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Manchester United Fan in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the dog. Q: What do Manchester United Fans use for birth control? A: Their personalities. Q: You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and a Manchester United Fan.You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? A: Shoot the United Fan. Twice. A man meets a friend and sees that his friend's car is a total write-off and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend, "What's happened to your car?" "Well," the friend replies, "I ran over Cristiano Ronaldo". "OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?" "Well, he tried to escape through the Park." Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is colour coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Man U fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable." Money saving tip for Man Utd fans - rather than waste more money on yet another replica kit, simply strap a large rubber dildo to your head, it'll be perfectly obvious to everyone who you support. Q.What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and a jet engine?? A: A jet engine eventually stops whining!!!! Q.What's the difference between Van Der Sar and Katie Price? A: Katie's only got two t*ts in front of her Q.What have a three pin plug and Man U got in common? A.They're both useless in Europe. Q: How many Man Utd fans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 76,001, one to change it, 75,999 to moan about it and Alex Ferguson to say if the ref had done his job in the first place the light bulb would have never gone out! Manchester United Directors - why spend 125 million on a new 3 tier stand at Old Trafford? Why not relocate and build a brand new stadium somewhere near London to reward your loyal lifelong supporters with a shorter journey home after matches? Have you heard about the new Wayne Rooney alarm clock..... It goes off after 30 minutes. Lastly, Liverpool FC have come up with a cunning plan to replace their This Is Anfield sign, the next time Manchester United come to visit with their star player Cristiano Ronaldo......with a new sign......  |
|
|
|
|
27th April 2008, 08:21 PM
Post
#6
|
|
|
;>
Joined: 1 October 2006
Posts: 17,717 User: 1,542
|
QUOTE(RabbitFurCoat @ Apr 27 2008, 09:10 PM) For getting no.5 wrong, nothing. No.5 wrong? I think you've mis-read   Also I have a missed question: PROBABILITY: Calculate the probability of Alex and Carlos ranting about the referee when a decision has gone against Manchester United, and calculate the probability of there being a rant when everything has been given United's way (which more often than not it does) |
|
|
|
|
27th April 2008, 08:42 PM
Post
#7
|
|
|
BuzzJack Platinum Member
Joined: 11 September 2006
Posts: 14,913 User: 1,286
|
Manchester United travel to Middlesbrough, for their annual Premier League fixture. Approximately what percentage of away fans are actually from Middlesbrough
 |
|
|
|
|
28th April 2008, 06:30 PM
Post
#8
|
|
|
To Katy Perry: I shagged a girl. And I loved it.
Joined: 7 October 2007
Posts: 1,783 User: 4,484 
  |
QUOTE(RabbitFurCoat @ Apr 27 2008, 08:52 PM) 1. ACCELERATION. Wayne is 78 yards away from the referee. Gary is 65 yards away. If Wayne can run at 21 mph & Gary at 16 mph, who will be sticking their vein-bulging forehead into the hapless whistler's face first, assuming Wayne does not stop to stamp on an opponent. 2. TELLING THE TIME. If 1 minute of time is taken up in a game for substitutions, 1 minute for injuries & Man Utd are losing at home, how much injury time will the referee add until the ‘Mighty Reds’ summon an equaliser? (Round answers down to nearest 5 mins). 3. PROBABILITY. Ryan is a Welshman. Express, as a percentage, the number of internationals missed on a Wednesday evening, compared to the miraculous recoveries made the following Saturday. 4. SUBTRACTION. Man Utd are a giant of world football. How many more European Cup Finals have they appeared in than Steaua Bucharest & Reims? 5. SUBTRACTION. How many more times have Man Utd won the European Cup than Nottingham Forest? 6. DISTANCE. You are the referee at Old Trafford. How near to a visiting defender does a tumbling Christiano have to be to earn a penalty? (Round answers down to nearest 10 yards.) 7. PROBABILITY. Express the statistical probability of Old Trafford visitors being awarded a penalty. Compare this with the probability of opponents of Man Utd being awarded a penalty home or away. Then discuss if a penalty awarded to Man Utd would be awarded to their opponents in identical circumstances. 8. ACCOUNTING. Mark lives in Guildford. How much does it cost for him & his two sons to travel to the ‘Theatre of Dreams’ every other weekend, including limited edition matchday programme, drinks & prawn sandwiches? How much could he save per week if he just bothers to supports his local team instead? (Round answers down to nearest £1000) 9. ACCOUNTING. Alex had hotel rooms booked in Cardiff for the FA Cup Final. How much money was lost when cancelling reservations between 2000-2003? 10. WEIGHT/PRESSURE. Christiano is 6ft tall, very strong and fast. How much pressure need be applied to make him tumble over in the opponent's penalty area? 11. MONEY. Juan was a lazy boy & often went missing. Alex was very cross and wanted to sell him. If Juan cost £28m to buy, how much do you think Alex sold him for? How much did Alex lose? 12. FARMING. What is the total number of chickens counted before hatched by Man Utd & their fans who thought West Ham, Exeter & Burton were pushovers? 13. ARITHMETIC. A Man Utd fan shrieks at 35 decibels. Visiting supporters shout at 65 decibels. If during a match, 5% of Man Utd fans are munching prawn sandwiches, 10% are stuck on the M25, 2% are asleep and 15% are still trying to work out which team is which, how many visitors are needed to out-shout 60,000 Reds? 14. WEIGHT/PRESSURE. Rio kicks a female steward who isn't hurt and laughs it off. How high does the same pressure kick project Ronaldo in the air the following game? How long is he on the ground rolling about in pain? Although you've made an error with No9: iirc, that was in Cardiff and was between Liverpool and West Ham. QUOTE(Matt Aloud @ Apr 27 2008, 09:43 PM) Manchester United travel to Middlesbrough, for their annual Premier League fixture. Approximately what percentage of away fans are actually from Middlesbrough You could replace that with any team: Birmingham (for Aston Villa), Newcastle, any London team, Portsmouth - need I continue? |
|
|
|
|
28th April 2008, 07:21 PM
Post
#9
|
|
|
BuzzJack Legend
Joined: 7 March 2006
Posts: 21,089 User: 49
 |
Ok, even I'll admit some of those are quite funny
As much as some of them do annoy me at the same time
|
|
|
|
|
2nd May 2008, 03:40 PM
Post
#10
|
|
|
BuzzJack Platinum Member
Joined: 2 October 2007
Posts: 18,059 User: 4,443
  |
QUOTE(Grandwicky @ Apr 28 2008, 08:22 PM) Ok, even I'll admit some of those are quite funny As much as some of them do annoy me at the same time Ditto
|
|
|
|
|
| Time is now: 29th April 2024, 11:12 AM |
Copyright © 2006 - 2024 BuzzJack.com
About | Contact | Advertise | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service
