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Posted by: Silas 29th August 2014, 09:54 PM

GOD AFTEN!!!!! Välkommen till Super Melodifestivalen, där vi har nått deltävling fyra! We are in the final heat of Super Melodifestivalen so you've got one last chance to send two lucky stars Direkt Till Finalen and save three others from career death by offering them a lifeline to Andra Chansen.

Last time out, we saw Swedish language Sanna triumph, Anniela almost revive her career and the shock dismissal of Alcazar and Ace Wilder. So what, and who does our final heat hold in store for us?

01. Eric Saade - Popular


HE WILL BE POPULAR. First up it's 2011's winner Eric Saade with Popular! Robbed of it's deserved victory in Eurovision by some insipid turd of a track from Italy and that awful country out east that buys votes for it's horrific entries and won with "Running, I'm Scared of what our Government will do to Eli once they realise he's a homo". This is a fabulous little number although Eric has fail to hit the dizzying highs of Popular since. Will he repeat his Heat 4 triumph here tonight?

02. Anton Ewald - Begging


Lordy this is atrocious. I am judging everyone who votes for this turd. Anton finished 4th in 2013 reaching the final via Andra Chansen, beating the two tracks that went DTG from Delt 2 and topping the public vote. Will Buzzjack send him DTG, to AC or a fate more in line with his Final 2014 placing?

03. Nanne Grönvall - Håll om mig


Hold onto your WEAVES Nanne has arrived to save us all! Robbed of rightful victory all the way back in 2005, before most Buzzjackers were even born, Nanne finished 2nd to Martin Stenmark's Las Vegas by a margin of just 3 points despite slaying the public vote. Public outrage ensued which SVT ignored and Nanne was never given the chance to bless Europa with Håll Om Mig. It's pop at it's most unhinged and really what this contest is all about. Will Buzzjack right a historical wrong and crown Nanne victor?

04. Caroline af Ugglas - Snälla snälla


I think we all know where Pavel's 12 is going. Surprise package of 2009 is up next, Caroline Af Ugglas who shined in Andra Chansen and nearly stole the whole damned show. Snälla Snälla finished second with the public, fifth with the jury's and second overall. Can she get her revenge on La Voix a second time around?

05. Måns Zelmerlöw - Cara Mia


Another golden oldie next as Måns Zelmerlöw sashays in from stage left with Cara Mia, his MF debut. What a debut it is as well! Winning Delt 3 on the way to finishing 3rd in the final behind the biggest c**t in Sweden and 'The Ark'. Written by 2/3s of Vågar Du, Vågar Jag's crew can Måns emulate Queen Sanna's success and make it out of this heat of death?

06. Carola - Evighet


The queen of the wind machine is our second former winner in this heat where it went on to finish 5th at ESC in 2006, yes it's another old un, as 'Invincible'. Evighet utterly dominated Delt 3 taking nearly 3 times the amount of votes as the second place finisher. She then went on to annihilate the competition in the final. Can she repeat that feat here tonight?

07. Jenny Silver - Something In Your Eyes


Back to 2011 now for the schlagergasm that is Something In Your Eyes. This Buzzjack fave was booted out of AC by Love Generation despite the fax that it should have sailed through to Globen ahead of the awful Swingfly. Can we right this awful wrong???? (YES WE BLOODY CAN)

08. Molly Sandén - Why Am I Crying


Returning to the MF stage one year after ex-boyfriend Eric's victory with a killer break-up anthem Ashtonise saviour Molly Sandén. Molly qualified from Delt3 in first along with MIRAKEL in what was probably the most *.* set of DTG qualifiers in MF history on her way to a 5th placed finish. THE INJUSTICE!!!! Still, it did better than Mirakel. This will be qualifying, I will accept no other outcome.

09. Charlotte Perrelli - Hero


From one legend to another it's only 2008's sodding winner Charlotte Perrelli! Smashing Delt 4 from the pimp spot this went on to smash the final and smashed in Belgrade finishing err...18th only making it to the final thanks to the jury wild card. While Charles couldn't quite match her former peak in Serbia, tonight is Buzzjack's chance to save Perrelli's flatlining career after The Girl.

10. Danny Saucedo - Amazing


Rob will be pleased! It's another trip to 2012, this time for the runner up and Delt 4 winner Danny Saucedo. The follow-up to 'In The Club' couldn't quite overcome the Loreen machine as it roared its way to Eurodomination. Still, Danny didn't give up and returned once again in 2013 to host MF giving us a rendition of the song that beat him along the way. If you feel, like Rob does, that Danny was robbed then now is your chance to right that wrong! Plus look how awesome those suits in the video are!

You have until 23:59 on September 6th to get your votes to me (Silas) via PM. That should be long enough for you to reorganise your votes in this heat of death at least 208512 times.

Points are to be given as follows:

12
10
08
06
04
02
01
00
00
00

And there's even a nice copy/paste list of the songs too!

01. Eric Saade - Popular
02. Anton Ewald - Begging
03. Nanne Grönvall - Håll om mig
04. Caroline af Ugglas - Snälla snälla
05. Måns Zelmerlöw - Cara Mia
06. Carola - Evighet
07. Jenny Silver - Something In Your Eyes
08. Molly Sandén - Why Am I Crying
09. Charlotte Perrelli - Hero
10. Danny Saucedo - Amazing


Ok, go go go!

Posted by: Cassandra 29th August 2014, 10:11 PM

Closing with AMAZING over HERO?

BLASPHEMY!

Posted by: Cassandra 29th August 2014, 10:12 PM

Jesus Christ though this heat really is INSANELY KILLER

And I have to say, if the GREATEST SONG EVER WRITTEN (i.e. HERO) doesn't go direkt with EASE then quite frankly you cunts don't DESERVE MELODIFESTIVALEN!

PREDIX

DTG: Anton Ewald, Popular
AC: Charlotte, Danny, Molly
06: Carola (LITERAL BLASPHEMY)
07: Måns
08: Nanne
09: Caroline af Ugglas
10: Jenny

Posted by: Cassandra 29th August 2014, 10:19 PM

Seriously though, that Evighet performance is like a RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE

And don't even get me STARTED on the Hero perf *o*

Posted by: randomfurlong 29th August 2014, 10:21 PM

these cannot be allowed to happen

Posted by: J▼hnkm 29th August 2014, 10:22 PM

I think Cassandra has already used up an entire LIFETIME SUPPLY of hyperbole re. Hero, but it's all f***ING TRUE *.*

Posted by: J▼hnkm 29th August 2014, 10:24 PM

But seriously, f*** me at having to choose between three of those for my 10 points, I won't even pretend they come close to getting top marks because that would be RIDIC.

Posted by: Cassandra 29th August 2014, 10:24 PM

I was considering holding back, but quite frankly IT IS and anyone who disagrees can SASHAY INTO HELL!

Posted by: Cassandra 29th August 2014, 10:26 PM

I mean has there EVER BEEN A GREATER MOMENT in WESTERN CIVILISATION than THAT KEY CHANGE accompanied by the ICONIC THREE-POINT GAY NAZI SALUTE followed swiftly by a MONEY NOTE WHICH TEARS THE VERY FABRIC OF SPACE AND TIME?!

I think NOT!

Posted by: Cassandra 29th August 2014, 10:31 PM

Also WHAT IS THIS SHIT? I will NOT have a mockery made of Charlotte by having ALTERNATE HISTORIES WHERE SHE DIDN'T WIN THE WHOLE EUROVISION WITH ALL OF THE 12S PEDDLED

Posted by: gooddelta 29th August 2014, 10:51 PM

Nine of these are 9.5/10+ songs, and I feel distraught to have to exclude two stone cold classics from my votes. The remaining song is a solid and lovely 8/10 that I'll be disowned for not voting for but it doesn't hold a candle to the rest of this heat for me.

Muscling in on the Hero hype, it pains me that a joyful but rather by-the-numbers ABBA pastiche can win the contest for Charlotte but this absolutely legendary and life enhancing discoschlager anthem needed juries to lift it past Sanna into Eurovision and further jury support to not completely embarrass itself when it got there.

If Caroline Af Ugglas can avoid last place that would be lovely but it's on the cards I feel.

Posted by: Cassandra 29th August 2014, 10:53 PM

Seriously though, examining that COUNTERFACTUAL HISTORY, it actually HORRIFIES ME that a (parallel) universe exists where Hero finished twelfth in the semi, technically making it the LEAST SUCCESSFUL SWEDISH ENTRY EVER

And though I don't subscribe to the view of Take Me To Your Heaven as a BY THE NUMBERS PASTICHE (it's like THREE MINUTES OF MUSICAL HEROIN!) of Charlotte's two wins Hero was DEFINITELY the MORE ESSENTIAL

Posted by: gooddelta 29th August 2014, 10:57 PM

It's basically I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday schlagerfied. I love it, don't get me wrong, but All Out Of Luck, Diamond Of Night and Say It Again were better entries for me from 1999 - not that I'm saying any of them deserved to win over her, it was a great winner at exactly the right time.

Posted by: J▼hnkm 29th August 2014, 10:58 PM

Hero is LIFE ALTERING FABULOUSITY, Take Me To Your Heaven is merely a 13/10 amazing pop song (and the best ESC winner)

Posted by: gooddelta 29th August 2014, 11:01 PM

As tragic as Charlotte's Hero result was, I don't think anybody can dispute the two floppiest MF winners/Swedish ESC entrants:

Posted by: Cassandra 29th August 2014, 11:04 PM

Coming (in this alternate universe) twelfth in the semi would still be worse than Bergenwhal!

Posted by: Cassandra 29th August 2014, 11:05 PM

SECOND

Posted by: Iz~ 30th August 2014, 08:18 PM

Death to Danny and Anton, glory for Harlot/Jenny/Mans,not overly fused about where the rest finish.

Seriously, if Begging comes anywhere other than in last I will be rather disappointed because that's the only place it should be. I suppose Amazing is actually worse but there's no way he's finishing bottom.

Posted by: ROBOT 30th August 2014, 08:43 PM

PREDICTIONS

DTF: Eric / Charlotte
AC: Mans / Molly / Caroline
6th: Carola
7th: Danny
8th: Nanne
9th: Anton
10th: Jenny

Can Danny please at least go to AC though please? It's all I'm asking for.

Posted by: Conderella 30th August 2014, 09:34 PM

You know this heat is bad when you have to give Carola points~~

Posted by: Aaron. 30th August 2014, 10:51 PM

I don't mind "Begging", but I can't help but deduct points because of "Natural".

Posted by: gooddelta 30th August 2014, 11:14 PM

Begging and Amazing remain two fantastic pop songs. Not sorry at all.

Posted by: J▼hnkm 30th August 2014, 11:29 PM

Begging is INCREDIBLE, Natural isn't even that bad really, it's just a decent album track that should never have been entered into MF

Posted by: Cassandra 7th September 2014, 08:42 PM

Wotes please

Posted by: Cassandra 7th September 2014, 08:43 PM

The thought that we're potentially about to lose one of Popular, Hero, Håll om mig, Evighet or Hero frankly terrifies me.

Posted by: Lextina 7th September 2014, 08:53 PM

Voted (after much delay, soray). The extra time doesn't make the decision any easier

Posted by: ROBOT 7th September 2014, 09:43 PM

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY... AMAZING.

Posted by: randomfurlong 7th September 2014, 10:05 PM

+ Cara Mia

Posted by: Silas 7th September 2014, 10:16 PM

Just because of how my weekend played out, y'all can have to 23:59 tonight. I'll do results tomorrow!

Posted by: Cassandra 8th September 2014, 05:29 AM

Oh GOD I meant to include that in that list too. HOLD ME

Posted by: Little_Boyo 8th September 2014, 01:06 PM

12 Charlotte Perrelli - Hero
10 Anton Ewald - Begging
08 Eric Saade - Popular
06 Jenny Silver - Something In Your Eye
04 Danny Saucedo - Amazing
02 Molly Sandén - Why Am I Crying
01 Måns Zelmerlöw - Cara Mia

Posted by: Cassandra 8th September 2014, 02:10 PM

Babes you vote by PM! Silas is probably postponing the results until next autumn so he'd have totes accepted it still.

Posted by: Silas 8th September 2014, 04:50 PM

Where are my RELOADED RESULTS?!?


I have a meeting 6:15-8 (yay for being an Assistant Warden I know have meetings after 5!) so results will start around 9pm ish. I hope. Maybe.

Posted by: ROBOT 8th September 2014, 08:49 PM

Posted by: Lextina 8th September 2014, 10:01 PM

Very Results.

Much Punctual.

Posted by: Iz~ 8th September 2014, 11:33 PM

Maybe Silas is withholding results until Tirren actually does do Reloaded. Could be the perfect motivation.

Posted by: Swagerella 9th September 2014, 07:43 AM

You just can't schedule stuff, like setting PRECISE TIME, and not show up. If it was a mere 'RESULTS LATERZ', it'd be less TRAUMATISED by all of this bye

Posted by: Cassandra 12th September 2014, 09:36 PM

'mon now.

(and YOU'RE LATE TOO IS NOT A JUSTIFICATION)

Posted by: J▼hnkm 12th September 2014, 11:34 PM

I think we ought to just declare Hero the winner of this round, the whole thing and the best song ever and just end this before Silas digs himself further into a hole. It's the right thing to do.

Posted by: Cassandra 13th September 2014, 12:26 AM

I will be starting andra chansen on Monday and picking qualifiers myself if this is not finished by then.

Posted by: Swagerella 13th September 2014, 07:58 AM

If there wasn't an incentive to finish this, there DEFINITELY is one now. No one lets a random hooker choose Oscar winners, do they?

Posted by: ROBOT 13th September 2014, 11:19 AM

I thought LexC was doing Andra Chansen or did I imagine that?

Posted by: Lextina 13th September 2014, 11:36 AM

You thought right! (Hands off Tirren, not my fault you can't detect SarcAdam)

Posted by: Cassandra 13th September 2014, 02:48 PM

Hun you didn't even vote in the nomination rounds and this shit is TOO IMPORTANT TO BE LEFT TO (andra) CHANSE