Latest Site News

[Qassändra]

01: Eclipse - Runaways
Text och Musik: Erik Mårtensson
William Hill odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected heat finish): 3.00 / 2/1 / 3rd
William Hill odds on winning Melodifestivalen (d / f): 41.00 / 40/1

PRÉCIS: Obnoxious subgenre continues to insist on invading humanity's prime gay pop contest, to disgust of all (except Eyes and a mysteriously stubborn subsection of the Swedish population)


02: Dolly Style - Rollercoaster
Text och Musik: Thomas G:son, Peter Boström och Alexandra Salomonsson
William Hill odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected heat finish): 3.75 / 11/4 / 4th
William Hill odds on winning Melodifestivalen (d / f): 34.00 / 33/1

PRÉCIS: Having had all members replaced in a year and shoved into identical wigs in a sinister identity swap that I'm currently using as the base for my next screenplay, the Dolly Style brand is continuing its dedication to the philosophical advancement of humanity with a song “about a rollercoaster in that life goes up and down but always forward, and so you just need to keep doing what you want and to be yourself”. Nietzsche apparently being removed from textbooks worldwide as we SPEAK


03: Martin Stenmarck - Du tar mig tillbaks
Text och Musik: David Stenmarck
William Hill odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected heat finish): 4.50 / 7/2 / 5th
William Hill odds on winning Melodifestivalen (d / f): 34.00 / 33/1

PRÉCIS: Hot daddy with the worst Melodifestivalen winner of the 21st century and best MF comeback by comparison with his previous entry under his belt decides to spoil the track record again and come back with dull Radio 2 fodder your nan'll love.


04: Linda Bengtzing - Killer Girl
Text och Musik: Mattias Kallenberger, Andreas Berlin, Linda Bengtzing och Dag Öhrlund
William Hill odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected heat finish): 5.50 / 9/2 / 6th
William Hill odds on winning Melodifestivalen (d / f): 51.00 / 50/1

PRÉCIS: Having worn out a well-established persona as everyone’s abrasive manic aunt who won't stop mentioning schlager at the dinner table with her first heat knockout ever in 2014, Linda has decided to play the last card remaining for her: LESBIAN BREAKDOWN With a track described as 'the lovechild of Alla flickor and E det fel på mig, fully in the genre of Linda. Fucking. Bengtzing.', this likely isn't going to be bringing any new supporters to the Bengtzing brigade. But can it rally the troops for Linda's last stand?


05: Frans - If I Were Sorry
Text och Musik: Oscar Fogelström, Michael Saxell, Fredrik Andersson och Frans Jeppsson Wall
William Hill odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected heat finish): 7.00 / 6/1 / 7th
William Hill odds on winning Melodifestivalen (d / f): 67.00 / 66/1

PRÉCIS: Everything awful about simpering earnest acoustic straight boy pop from the last two years finds human expression.


06: Panetoz - Håll om mig hårt
Text och Musik: Jimmy Jansson, Karl-Ola Kjellholm, Jakke Erixson, Pa Modou Badjie, Njol Badjie och Nebeyu Baheru
William Hill odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected heat finish): 1.73 / 8/11 / 2nd
William Hill odds on winning Melodifestivalen (d / f): 15.00 / 14/1

PRÉCIS: White Eurogays froth in anger as fun 4 non-racists Panetoz return from their 9th place tropical bop in 2014 and throw in some of Melodifestivalen's hottest modern hit songwriters for the bargain.


07: Molly Sandén - Youniverse
Text och Musik: Molly Sandén, Danny Saucedo och John Alexis
William Hill odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected heat finish): 1.14 / 1/7 / 1st
William Hill odds on winning Melodifestivalen (d / f): 2.75 / 11/4 (FAVOURITE TO WIN)

PRÉCIS: Because they're really sensitive and stuff Molly and Danny decided the obvious response to the Paris massacre was writing a song in half an hour for Melodifestivalen, adding standards in song titles and songwriting to the death toll (tasteful song inspiration having already died on the MF altar with Linus Svenning). However, given this woman took a track as white bread as Why Am I Crying? to third, it's a cert for the final. But is it good enough to win?