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> Josh's Ultimate 2022 Movie Ranking!, Ranking all 141 of the '22 films that I saw
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Josh!
post 31st December 2022, 01:22 PM
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As always, I'm going to rank every 2022 film that I saw this year. It includes streaming movies and the like so that's why the list is so long. 141 this year!!

These reviews are largely copied from my Letterboxd account so if you follow me there then you might've seen some of these, sorry. I'm working out the ranking as I go along though so that's new for us all. I'll use spoiler tags too so don't worry about that either.

Have a reminder of previous year countdowns below. Will Marvel defend their title or can an underdog reign supreme?

2022 RANKING:
01. Everything Everywhere All At Once
02. Turning Red
03. Triangle of Sadness
04. Good Luck to You, Leo Grande
05. Top Gun: Maverick
06. Avatar: The Way of Water
07. Fresh
08. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
09. The Woman King
10. Boiling Point
11. Sonic the Hedgehog 2
12. Belfast
13. Licorice Pizza
14. Guillermo Del Toro's Pinocchio
15. She Said
16. Barbarian
17. Not Okay
18. The Menu
19. Roald Dahl’s Matilda the Musical
20. Flee
21. See How They Run
22. Operation Mincemeat
23. Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
24. The Banshees of Inisherin
25. DC League of Super-Pets
26. Thor: Love and Thunder
27. Cyrano
28. Prey
29. Aftersun
30. X
31. The Worst Person in the World
32. The Batman
33. Marry Me
34. Black Adam
35. Uncharted
36. Beast
37. Bullet Train
38. Don't Worry Darling
39. Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness
40. Hocus Pocus 2
41. Disenchanted
42. The Black Phone
43. All My Friends Hate Me
44. Notre-Dame on Fire
45. The Good Nurse
46. Chip 'N Dale: Rescue Rangers
47. Scream
48. Pinocchio
49. Bones and All
50. Fire Island
51. Mass
52. The Sea Beast
53. Bros
54. Violent Night
55. Your Christmas or Mine?
56. The Duke
57. Downton Abbey: A New Era
58. Fall
59. Lightyear
60. Ambulance
61. My Policeman
62. The School for Good and Evil
63. Jennifer Lopez: Halftime
64. Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance With Somebody
65. Orphan: First Kill
66. Sing 2
67. Elvis
68. Red Rocket
69. The Eyes of Tammy Faye
70. Watcher
71. Jurassic World: Dominion
72. Nightmare Alley
73. Mrs Harris Goes to Paris
74. Morbius
75. The Adam Project
76. The Lost City
77. Three Thousand Years of Longing
78. Parallel Mothers
79. Bodies Bodies Bodies
80. Halloween Ends
81. Nope
82. Kimi
83. Love in the Villa
84. Do Revenge
85. Deep Water
86. Enola Holmes 2
87. The Tragedy of Macbeth
88. The Lost King
89. The Northman
90. The Phantom of the Open
91. Windfall
92. Spirited
93. Causeway
94. The Invitation
95. All Quiet on the Western Front
96. Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore
97. Men
98. Official Competition
99. The Forgiven
100. Better Nate Than Ever
101. Falling For Christmas
102. Our Father
103. Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile
104. Minions: The Rise of Gru
105. Where the Crawdads Sing
106. Smile
107. Decision to Leave
108. Ticket to Paradise
109. Living
110. Hatching
111. The 355
112. Senior Year
113. The Gray Man
114. Strange World
115. Amsterdam
116. The Nan Movie
117. Spiderhead
118. Choose or Die
119. Save the Cinema
120. Armageddon Time
121. The Bubble
122. Death on the Nile
123. Hotel Transylvania: Transformania
124. Umma
125. Joyride
126. The Wonder
127. Emily
128. The Bad Guys
129. Ali & Ava
130. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
131. Moonfall
132. The Tender Bar
133. Firestarter
134. My Son
135. Dog
136. The Silent Twins
137. White Noise
138. Dual
139. Blonde
140. The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild
141. Crimes of the Future


2021
01. Spider-Man: No Way Home
02. Promising Young Woman
03. Minari

2020
01. Jojo Rabbit
02. Onward
03. Parasite

2019
01. Avengers: Endgame
02. Spider-Man: Far From Home
03. Us

2018
01. Avengers: Infinity War
02. The Shape of Water
03. Love, Simon

2017
01. Call Me By Your Name
02. Wonder Woman
03. Thor: Ragnarok

2016
01. Captain America: Civil War
02. The Jungle Book
03. Room

2015
01. Avengers: Age of Ultron
02. Jurassic World
03. Inside Out




This post has been edited by Josh!: 16th January 2023, 11:05 AM
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Josh!
post 31st December 2022, 01:44 PM
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139. Blonde
directed by: Andrew Dominik
starring: Ana de Armas, Adrien Brody, Bobby Cannavale, Xavier Samuel, Julianne Nicholson

There's something extremely problematic about reducing Marilyn Monroe to simply a victim of men with no autonomy. She must say daddy about 50 times (gross!) and has her bare chest out far more often than any normal person would. There's a scene where she gives a blow-job to the President scene which was so uncomfortable too. Equally problematic is making your film that long to sit through and making it trash.
There are other issues aside from the obvious issues with its misogynistic portrayal of Marilyn. Plot wise, it feels more like a clip show of horrible things than having any proper narrative throughout. She's not shown to have any friends or anything, and not one character sticks around for more than 15 minutes of runtime.
I'd rather watch a biopic that celebrates her successes and still educates its audience on Marilyn's personal life. This just fills in the gaps with shots of her dying foetus?! Unnecessary to say the least.
I awarded this one star for Ana de Armas being flawless and looking the part. The cinematography was very strong at times too, especially in the black and white sequences.




140. The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild
directed by: John C. Donkin
starring: Simon Pegg, Utkarsh Ambudkar, Justina Machado, Vincent Tong, Aaron Harris, Dominique Jennings, Jake Green, Sean Kenin Elias-Reyes, Skyler Stone

This concept for a sequel falls at the first hurdle by deciding to largely strip out the original cast. Turning Sid, Diego and Manny into glorified cameos is an offence to my childhood. They’re the heart of the franchise!
Are Crash and Eddie even funny to children? I don’t recall finding them amusing as a kid personally. It was all about Scrat for me but he was non-existent here too. I know he has his own show now but would still have appreciated a couple of nut hunting gags. Zee kind of served though.
I must admit that the opening sequence with the cave drawings recapping the previous Ice Age movies hit me right in the nostalgia feels. I’d rather introduce my sister to those than sit through this ever again. It has the stink of one of those TV channel low-budget spin-offs that random characters would get back in the day.





141. Crimes of the Future
directed by: David Cronenberg
starring: Viggo Mortensen, Léa Seydoux, Kristen Stewart, Scott Speedman

I just didn't get this? If you're gonna do body horror then I should feel simultaneously engaged and sick to my stomach. Watching this, I was bored and waiting for it to be over. I was about ready to walk out by the time it got round to performing an autopsy on a naked child, and probably would've if this didn't come so close to the end of the runtime.
I didn't understand any message or metaphor it was trying to feed to the audience either. I just feel like this was unsuccessful at everything that it set out to do.
I gave it half a star for some very impressive prosthetics and make-up which made for some interesting imagery. I thought the man with ears sewed all over his body was intriguing but that's about as much positive feedback I can give this film.
Surely Kristen Stewart should be doing better projects after getting her first Oscar nomination?! Embarrassed for everyone involved that thinks this is worthy of their time. Pretentious film-making at its very worst...


Re-cap:
139. Blonde
140. The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild
141. Crimes of the Future

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Tafty³³³
post 31st December 2022, 01:58 PM
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I still have a few more from this year I wanna tick off my list before I do my countdown, but it will come soon!

Very hyped for your list though. I'm gonna predict no MCU in your top 3 (just like 2020) but I'm hoping for decent placings for both Black Panther and Doctor Strange at least, if not! I haven't seen any of the 3 you've counted down. Both 'Blonde' and 'Crimes...' got good hype, but by the time the reviews came out, I lost complete interest and I'm especially gutted about 'Blonde'. Was really hoping this was Ana's MOMENT. sad.gif
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Josh!
post 31st December 2022, 03:34 PM
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QUOTE(Tafty³³³ @ Dec 31 2022, 01:58 PM) *
I still have a few more from this year I wanna tick off my list before I do my countdown, but it will come soon!

Very hyped for your list though. I'm gonna predict no MCU in your top 3 (just like 2020) but I'm hoping for decent placings for both Black Panther and Doctor Strange at least, if not! I haven't seen any of the 3 you've counted down. Both 'Blonde' and 'Crimes...' got good hype, but by the time the reviews came out, I lost complete interest and I'm especially gutted about 'Blonde'. Was really hoping this was Ana's MOMENT. sad.gif

Thank you Jonjo! Stay tuned for the Marvel movies (they're still a long way off in the countdown, haha).

I'm excited to catch your countdown too! You must be over 100 movies too surely? cool.gif
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Josh!
post 1st January 2023, 10:20 AM
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136. The Silent Twins
directed by: Agnieszka Smoczyńska
starring: Letitia Wright, Tamara Lawrance


I was waaaay more intrigued reading about this story online than I was entertained by the actual film. That's a huge flaw in the film-making if they can make a unique story into an unusually unlikeable feature-length movie, lmao.

The story itself of the twins is super interesting and I was excited to see more after doing a bit of pre-reading but this film manages to not only be really dull, but also just generally a bit naff. This is a genuinely engrossing story on its own and would've honestly benefitted from simply being an ordinary by-the-numbers biopic with none of these dream sequences or animated distractions.

The stop-motion sequences don't work at all and we never delve further into the reasoning for why the girls won't speak to anyone else. They just don't. They kept (brutally) fighting to quite severe lengths for no good reason too. And we're supposed to accept all of this as an audience without knowing anything about their actual personalities or intentions.

Not her fault I guess but personally, I just can't stand Letitia Wright in anything I see her in either. Maybe it's an irrational hatred but she's just always so unlikeable, wtf!? Tamara Lawrance is good here and it's nice to see her get a big role after she shone so brightly in 'Boxing Day' last year.

If you're reading this, save yourself two hours and have a skim of the Wiki page instead. 1 and a half stars for educating me on a story that I didn't know about before.




137. White Noise
directed by: John C. Donkin
starring: Adam Driver, Greta Gerwig, Don Cheadle


I hate a movie that is pretentious for the sake of it (see 'The French Dispatch' in last place last year) and this is very that. I was kind of on board during the toxic airborne event segment of the film. Some of it wasn't landing for me but there was a certain charm to seeing the (very) unusual family handle the crisis.

The whole final 90 minutes or so of the movie was unbearable though, lmao. Loads of pretentious dialogue. Loads of just nonsense (what planet was Babette on?!). I just couldn't have cared less by that point.

If this film had focussed on just one thing then maybe it would've been more successful but the final product is simply a mess. And not an enjoyable one!! It's a shame too because I was somewhat along for the ride to begin with but was struggling through every second of screen time by the end.

Adam Driver is still such an exciting actor though and is the best thing about this movie. He has the skill to turn any role into a good one. He's going to be around for a long time, I think!




138. Dual
directed by: Riley Stearns
starring: Karen Gillan, Beulah Koale, Theo James, Aaron Paul

???
???
???

Sorry but that monotonous robotic line delivery throughout just took me way out and it never recovered from that. The vibes were just so off that the film itself wasn’t enjoyable in the slightest.

There were major parts that just didn’t make sense to me?! Surely they can keep track of who’s the original and who’s the double rather than just take someone’s word for it in a law court. Especially when one has different natural eye colour to the other?! But then that’s such an obvious plot hole that surely it’s intentional but then I’m not sure what the film is trying to say?! It was all majorly lost on me and that’s just one example.

Some of the foreshadowing was so plainly obvious that it seemed like a choice too… but then why? Oh, real Sarah can’t pick up on poisoning as a cause of death so of course she’ll be poisoned later. What a surprise!

There were some interesting concepts introduced but ultimately, there were just too many reasons to laugh at the movie. Go and watch 'Swan Song' if you want to see the better recent clone movie.

Gee… Karen Gillan has made some questionable role choices as of late, oops. This, 'The Bubble' (not far off being eliminated) and 'Gunpowder Milkshake' are serving career worst energy.


Re-cap:
136. The Silent Twins
137. White Noise
138. Dual
139. Blonde
140. The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild
141. Crimes of the Future



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Tafty³³³
post 1st January 2023, 02:01 PM
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I haven't reached 100 *new* movies in a year and don't think I ever have. I'm on 80 at the moment with about 5 more to watch before I start my list! Hoping to complete it by end of this week, but we'll seeeee!

Still haven't seen any of the last 3 you've posted either lmao! Maybe it's for the best then!!!!
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Josh!
post 1st January 2023, 06:36 PM
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QUOTE(Tafty³³³ @ Jan 1 2023, 02:01 PM) *
I haven't reached 100 *new* movies in a year and don't think I ever have. I'm on 80 at the moment with about 5 more to watch before I start my list! Hoping to complete it by end of this week, but we'll seeeee!

Still haven't seen any of the last 3 you've posted either lmao! Maybe it's for the best then!!!!

Well at least you've not seen my bottom six so your top 80 should contains films I somewhat like, haha. What do you have left to watch? Or is it a surprise!

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Tafty³³³
post 1st January 2023, 08:23 PM
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I have The Sadness, Don’t Make Me Go, The Wonder, Orphan: First Kill, Aftersun and She Said before I start my countdown. I have my list sorted, it’s just hidden on Letterboxd rn but yeah! I wanna see at least half of these before I produce it to everyone!
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Josh!
post 1st January 2023, 10:20 PM
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QUOTE(Tafty³³³ @ Jan 1 2023, 08:23 PM) *
I have The Sadness, Don’t Make Me Go, The Wonder, Orphan: First Kill, Aftersun and She Said before I start my countdown. I have my list sorted, it’s just hidden on Letterboxd rn but yeah! I wanna see at least half of these before I produce it to everyone!

Sweeeeet, I’ve seen 4/6 of these and they’re spread far and wide across my list so I’m intrigued to see what you think too haha cheeseblock.png cheeseblock.png


This post has been edited by Josh!: 1st January 2023, 10:22 PM
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Josh!
post 2nd January 2023, 10:37 PM
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135. Dog
directed by: Channing Tatum, Reid Carolin
starring: Channing Tatum, Jane Adams, Kevin Nash, Q'orianka Kilcher, Ethan Suplee, Emmy Raver-Lampman, Nicole LaLiberte


What a drag! For a 101 minute movie, this feels way over 2 hours. Everything plays out as you’d expect. Completely cliche and predictable. Yawn, yawn, yawn.

I’m not usually the biggest fan of pet companion movies and I’m not a fan of PTSD/war veteran/American army patriotism movies either so I just don’t think that this was the cocktail of genres for me.

The absolute cheek of Tatum’s character to call Grey’s Anatomy trash TV. That is Mark Sloan and Lexie Grey and they are one of television’s greatest ever love stories so put some respect on their name, OK?

This got one star for some nice shots of Channing Tatum’s feet.




134. My Son
directed by: Christian Carion
starring: James McAvoy, Claire Foy


Just your bog-standard crime thriller really.

It had a really promising premise where James McAvoy hadn’t been given a script so was improvising his parts as he went along in order to preserve the importance of the first-take. That was fun to observe for a few scenes but I kind of forgot it was even the case as the film faded into blandness and predictability.

I also hate when scenes are soo dimly lit that you can’t piece together what’s going on, who’s who, or where they even are. So basically that describes the entire final act. I was just ready for it to be over by then.

Perhaps it would’ve worked better as a TV miniseries or something (it certainly didn’t feel cinematic or movie quality) but then I’d be lying if I said I’d tune in again after the first episode. Very exciting concept but so poorly executed. I was disappointed!




133. Firestarter
directed by: Keith Thomas
starring: Zac Efron, Ryan Kiera Armstrong, Sydney Lemmon, Kurtwood Smith, John Beasley, Michael Greyeyes, Gloria Reuben


I just watched this the other day and know I will not remember a single thing about this in one week, lmaooo.

It was OK in places!!! I liked it when she would burn things/cats/humans to a crisp. I too hope that cat is doing well in non-binary cat heaven, as Zac Efron so beautifully put it.

My main issue was the weak villains who were totally nondescript and their motives never properly explained. And then she decides not to kill the worst one of them all at the end just… because? OK, thank you for wasting my time x




132. The Tender Bar
directed by: George Clooney
starring: Ben Affleck, Tye Sheridan, Lily Rabe, Christopher Lloyd, Daniel Ranieri


‘Daddy Issues: The Movie’

I was having a good time in the first half when JR was young and the child actor was pretty adorable. I thought it’d be a nice little coming-of-age flick but …

By the end though I was just thinking there wasn’t really much to this movie at all. It was a nice enough selection of scenes, some attempt at drama/stakes, the odd sense of humour & a flashy soundtrack but it was all rather meandering. I feel like I watched this movie and forgot about it immediately.

I only really stuck it on because of the awards attention that Affleck received. Whilst it’s a lovely role and he adds a lot of heart to the movie, there’s not much else special about this character or performance? It’s hardly a career best of his.




131. Moonfall
directed by: Roland Emmerich
starring: Halle Berry, Patrick Wilson, John Bradley, Michael Peña, Charlie Plummer, Kelly Yu, Donald Sutherland


This is the kind of disaster flick you’ve seen innumerable times before but it works fine as popcorn cinema. If you want to stick something mindless on and fill two hours then this is your movie! At the end of the day, watching disaster wreak havoc on Planet Earth never gets dull.

It felt like it went 0 to 100 real quick. One scene we had them noticing a slight difference in the Moon’s orbit and then there were full on tsunamis in the next scene. At least it was never boring but I was expecting it to be a bit more grounded in reality and not just nonsense from the outset. I enjoyed it less when we went inside the Moon and got the AI backstory. It lost me a bit there in all honesty.

John Bradley was irritating in the trailer already but found him worse in the full-length feature. Halle Berry is as dependable as ever but she’s really just here to cash in a pay check. I found Patrick Wilson quite charismatic in his role though so props where it’s due.




130. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
directed by: Tom Gormican
starring: Nicolas Cage, Pedro Pascal, Sharon Horgan, Ike Barinholtz, Alessandra Mastronardi, Jacob Scipio, Neil Patrick Harris, Tiffany Haddish


This didn’t really hit the spot for me but I’m not all that well versed in Nicolas Cage’s filmography so I guess that’s probably why. I think a lot of the jokes went woosh over my head a bit. I’m just like Tiffany Haddish - I’ve only seen Moonstruck and The Croods 2, hahahahah. I’d be all over this if it were an actress I stanned in the lead role instead though.

There was too many tripping sequences in the first act for me which I hardly ever find funny. And then too much of the Cage over-acting hammy schtick that he does.

Saying that, I was the only person in the screening to laugh out loud when he said the only group he was a member of was the Screen Actors Guild of America, lmao. That’s my kind of humour. The Paddington 2 gag was a good one too because it’s just so true. Honestly one of the best movies of all-time.

I did think this would be a good opportunity to have revisited more of Cage’s classic roles and don the looks again (a bit like a Taylor Swift did in the “Look What You Made Me Do” music video) so that felt like a bit of a missed opportunity. I can see why people would enjoy this but it just wasn’t made for me, and that’s fine.


Re-cap:
130. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
131. Moonfall
132. The Tender Bar
133. Firestarter
134. My Son
135. Dog
136. The Silent Twins
137. White Noise
138. Dual
139. Blonde
140. The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild
141. Crimes of the Future

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Josh!
post 3rd January 2023, 03:02 PM
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129. Ali & Ava
directed by: Clio Barnard
starring: Adeel Akhtar, Claire Rushbrook


I thought this started off well but it became really meandering after the first act. It became more of a collection of random life-like scenes without any real narrative. I ended up being pretty bored by the end like when is this 90 minute movie gonna end, lmao. Never a good sign.

There were some highlights though which made it worthwhile. It did feel very true to life and there were struggles that Ava faced that reminded me of people in my own circle. It is nice to see these very working class family stories get told on a big cinema screen. I felt for her having to juggle her motherly duties but also wanting to live a life of her own.

I was impressed with Adeel Akhtar too who I’ve only seen previously in proper comedic roles. He had a super infectious personality which was a large part of why the first act was so enjoyable. That scene where they were both screaming the lyrics to their own favourite songs like a mini silent disco put a big smile on my face!




128. The Bad Guys
directed by: Pierre Perifel
starring: Sam Rockwell, Marc Maron, Awkwafina, Craig Robinson, Anthony Ramos, Richard Ayoade, Zazie Beetz, Alex Borstein, Lilly Singh


This was OK, but probably one of my least favourite Dreamworks Animations films I’ve ever seen. I thought the animation style felt cheap and inconsistent leaving the final package feeling more like a Sunday morning TV cartoon than a cinematic release. That snake went from having two fangs to a full set of human teeth multiple times in one sentence?!

Mr. Wolf was charming and the Crimson Paw was a bit of a serve but no-one really stood out aside from those. Like as a kid, I’d not be begging my parents for a plushy of anyone from this movie, lol. At a push, maybe I’d hang on to a McDonalds toy for a week if they were sponsoring Happy Meals.

Richard Ayoade’s voice went right through me as the villain. I kind of hated every scene that Guinea pig was in, lol. I was left wishing the snake would just gobble him up!

I will say that the tail wagging was adorable though and super infectious. I can see why all the baddies wanted that good feeling up in their tails.




127. Emily
directed by: Frances O'Connor
starring: Emma Mackey, Fionn Whitehead, Oliver Jackson-Cohen, Alexandra Dowling, Amelia Gething, Adrian Dunbar, Gemma Jones


This is fine but it commits the ultimate sin of being simply boring. Perhaps it’s my mistake as I don’t know much about Emily Brontë or ‘Wuthering Heights’ but I don’t really care to deep dive further now either, oops.

The best bit was when they finally started doing the nookie because we got to see Oliver Jackson-Cohen in a state of undress. Sorry about it but there’s just something about those sideburns that men have in these period dramas that is so fit. I’d be such a wh*re for men with sideburns if I was born centuries earlier.

I also liked every time that someone would do an insult but in French. Somehow they were 10x more cutting when said in French, lmao.

Maybe it’s because I’m a huge Sex Education fan but I never bought the casting choice of Emma Mackey. There’s just something sooo 21st century about her face and persona that she didn’t slot well into a 19th century period drama to me.

Also, that mask Emily wears when possessed by the ghost of her mother was f*cking terrifying!! In comparison to recent horror movies, Smile has nothing on this. Nothing.




126. The Wonder
directed by: Sebastián Lelio
starring: Florence Pugh, Tom Burke, Niamh Algar, Elaine Cassidy, Dermot Crowley, Brían F. O'Byrne, David Wilmot, Ruth Bradley, Caolán Byrne, Josie Walker, Ciarán Hinds, Toby Jones, Kíla Lord Cassidy


Maybe I just wasn’t in the necessary mood to sit through this but sorry, I just wasn’t gripped. I was checking my phone on more than one occasion, eeek. I guess that just one of the downfalls of a streaming movie experience compared to a proper movie theatre one.

If I had to describe this movie, I’d say the whole thing (from the moment it started with the unusual staging) reminded me of those films that show in modern art galleries that I spend twelve seconds watching and then move on to the next thing. But this one I sat through for two hours…

Florence Pugh made it somewhat worthwhile and the plot thankfully does pick up a bit towards the end as she realises Anna is about to die if she doesn’t intervene. I liked her deadpan delivery of “I will nurse her until she dies” when everyone’s telling her not to step in, lmao.

Don’t think I’ll remember much about this in the future apart from the crazy religious stuff and the staging of the opening scene. Though I think both had a big impact on me tuning out to be honest. If it were playing in the Tate, I’d move swiftly one to the Turner Prize exhibition - thank you very much x




125. Joyride
directed by: Emer Reynolds
starring: Olivia Colman, Charlie Reid, Lochlann Ó Mearáin


Just a thought, this would make a great 'Olivia Colman makes a terrible mother' double-bill with The Lost Daughter, lmao.

I will commend the national sweetheart that is Olivia Colman on her performance. She always turns up and does her best with any role no matter how big or small. Never phones it in or turns up for the paycheck. The way she delivered that 'I am a responsible adult' line was perfect.

Mully was super charming too. Wise beyond his years due to his tough upbringing but also a little ray of sunshine. Charlie Reid who played him did a brilliant job and a had a lovely little set of lungs on him. Bless :')

The Irish accents and gorgeous scenery helped add warmth to the movie. It wouldn't have worked as well if it were set anywhere else, haha. Cute enough little buddy movie but it wasn't that exciting aside from the performances. I also found it hard to keep up with how all the characters knew each other and were interconnected.




124. Umma
directed by: Iris K. Shim
starring: Sandra Oh, Fivel Stewart, Dermot Mulroney, Odeya Rush, MeeWha Alana Lee, Tom Yi


Quality of the movie itself is dreadful but I had a great time. It’s never a good thing when you’re laughing out loud at the wrong moments in a horror but that bitch slap segment between mother and daughter was objectively hilarious… Why was it played as a serious moment?? Hahaha.

Some dreadful, dreadful dialogue. “I was raised by my mother. My real mother”. What nonsense! Really poor lighting too. If you’re going to have prosthetics/special effects and scary old person character design then at least let me see it please.

I just love Sandra Oh with all my heart. She’s responsible for all 1 and a half stars that I gave it to be honest. She’s so adorable in the happy scenes and then also kind of aced the horror aspects. It’s a different type of role for her and I thought she did fab. I genuinely wouldn’t have watched this if she wasn’t starring.

Also, I love this new horror trope of protagonists being cured of their fears after going through 90 minutes of trauma in the film we just watched. Love that her daughter was immediately allowed to go off to uni and have a mobile in the next scene after Umma faded away.




123. Hotel Transylvania: Transformania
directed by: Derek Drymon, Jennifer Kluska
starring: Andy Samberg, Selena Gomez, Kathryn Hahn, Jim Gaffigan, Steve Buscemi, Molly Shannon, David Spade, Keegan-Michael Key, Brian Hull, Fran Drescher, Brad Abrell, Asher Blinkoff, Tyler "Ninja" Blevins, Zoe Berri


I suppose I’m not exactly the target audience but I’m still partial to an animated movie even now. However, this felt… childish (for want of a better word, lol). Even the first two Hotel Transylvania movies have some great visual humour that appealed to both adults and kids. This one felt like the kind of thing parents are forced to sit through by their kids.

I did like the freaky Friday aspect of it all. Seeing our fave monsters turn to human form was a laugh. Especially the jelly man turning to literal jelly, haha.

The rest is forgettable and felt kinda TV movie. Don’t think it’ll stick with me in even a few months time to be honest. I’d rather stick Hotel Transylvania 1 or 2 if I fancy an October family fun film next Halloween.




122. Death on the Nile
directed by: Kenneth Branagh
starring: Tom Bateman, Annette Bening, Kenneth Branagh, Russell Brand, Ali Fazal, Dawn French, Gal Gadot, Armie Hammer, Rose Leslie, Emma Mackey, Sophie Okonedo, Jennifer Saunders, Letitia Wright


What was the relevance of that WWI opening scene at all? Did we really need an origin story for Poirot’s moustache? Why did his cheek heal perfectly but not the upper lip? How does he grow such thick facial hair through scar tissue? Load of nonsense really.

Also HATED the accents in this. It was just one bad accent after another. That’s bad enough but it meant I missed half of the dialogue too. Kenneth Branagh is the worst offender but I was struggling with Rose Leslie’s and Sophie Okonedo’s too.

It took far too long to get going and I was kind of over it before it had attempted to grip me. Emma Mackey was the highlight of the first act when she kept showing up sporadically! I quite enjoyed the scene of Poirot deducing the murderer at the very end and watching things fall into place but that was about 15 minutes of the entire runtime, lol.




121. The Bubble
directed by: Judd Apatow
starring: Karen Gillan, Iris Apatow, Vir Das, Fred Armisen, Maria Bakalova, David Duchovny, Keegan-Michael Key, Leslie Mann, Kate McKinnon, Pedro Pascal, Peter Serafinowicz, Guz Khan, Harry Trevaldwyn


This movie is so 2022 that there will literally not be one single reason to watch this in even a year. There is no attempt whatsoever at making this even slightly timeless but that's what makes it work almost? It's sort of the perfect movie to watch from the comfort of your own home on Netflix as we're (hopefully) on our way out of this pandemic hell.

I was really quite into it for the first 15 mins or so and the jokes were mostly landing but it all fell apart before long and it was a hit rate of about 1 in every 7 jokes, lmao. I find 2 hour comedies often struggle to be entertaining for that long though and always have a lull that feels like a right drag around the halfway mark - this film is no exception.

Cast wise, Harry Trevaldwyn as Gunther was a major standout from his first on-screen moments so I was sad to see his role be less prominent in the second half. I do love a good celebrity cameo too and those were aplenty. I think my faves were James McAvoy running down 'Carol' and then Benedict Cumberbatch's appearance in the drug-induced hallucination, haha.

Overall, a fun enough way to kill some time, for want of a better word, reminiscing on some of the ridiculous aspects of the lockdown we all suffered through. There are some good jibes at celebrity culture too (though I could do without the TikTok/influencer stuff) and their self-importance. I'll never watch it again though and it'll remain a product of its time.




120. Armageddon Time
directed by: James Gray
starring: Anne Hathaway, Jeremy Strong, Banks Repeta, Jaylin Webb, Anthony Hopkins


A little more interesting after reading this is semi-autobiographical for James Gray. To throw your white guilt out there in the form of a movie is pretty bold, I guess.

I found it hard to watch though to be honest or sympathise with either kid regardless of race, belief, ethnicity... anything. They were both uncontrollably badly behaved and needed some kind of major intervention.

I get what it's saying because clearly Johnny had the less privileged of their upbringings yet still got the worst deal when the law got involved, while Paul gets a second chance to make something of himself. It was scary to watch the police show up at the pawn shop knowing only Johnny was about to get caught.

Anthony Hopkins as dependable as ever. His mumbling grandpa felt fully realised and had all of the most emotionally poignant moments. The true saving grace of the film.

It's not like this doesn't say some important things but it just doesn't land for me because neither character is all that redeemable to me. Slightly more impactful knowing it's the director putting out some of their own story here but it just didn't have the desired effect on me.


Re-cap:
120. Armageddon Time
121. The Bubble
122. Death on the Nile
123. Hotel Transylvania: Transformania
124. Umma
125. Joyride
126. The Wonder
127. Emily
128. The Bad Guys
129. Ali & Ava
130. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
131. Moonfall
132. The Tender Bar
133. Firestarter
134. My Son
135. Dog
136. The Silent Twins
137. White Noise
138. Dual
139. Blonde
140. The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild
141. Crimes of the Future



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Chez Wombat
post 3rd January 2023, 05:57 PM
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The Wonder is the first one of these I've seen and I will have to disagree with you on that x Florence Pugh's performance was outstanding and the creepy, eerie vibe was excellently done by the score, you can really feel things getting more urgent and by the end, it's actively anxiety-inducing when you know what could happen. The only thing that didn't work was the fourth wall breaks as they weren't properly developed and felt out of place.

I feel for you watching Blonde though, that sounded pretty much like glorified torture porn from what I read!
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Tafty³³³
post 3rd January 2023, 08:19 PM
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Yay finally a couple of films I've seen cheeseblock.png tearsmile.gif

'Unbearable Weight...' actually surprised me. I really am not a Nicholas Cage fan. I have such an irrational hatred of him... I can't pinpoint quite why he invokes such a strong reaction from me, but I just don't like him as an actor lmao. But this was quite amusing and caught me off guard a little as to how much I liked it aha.

'Bad Guys' was fun I thought. Although I found the animation to be sloppy in places.

'The Wonder' is on my list, hopefully tomorrow! Gonna try 'She Said' & 'The Sadness' tonight and then start my countdown too!
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Josh!
post 4th January 2023, 02:01 PM
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QUOTE(Chez Wombat @ Jan 3 2023, 05:57 PM) *
The Wonder is the first one of these I've seen and I will have to disagree with you on that x Florence Pugh's performance was outstanding and the creepy, eerie vibe was excellently done by the score, you can really feel things getting more urgent and by the end, it's actively anxiety-inducing when you know what could happen. The only thing that didn't work was the fourth wall breaks as they weren't properly developed and felt out of place.

I feel for you watching Blonde though, that sounded pretty much like glorified torture porn from what I read!
I think the artsy fartsy 4th wall break at the very beginning of the movie instantly put me in a bad mood with The Wonder and then I wasn't in the right mindset to give the rest of it a chance. It had its moments but it just seemed to think it was way more clever than it was? I don't know but it left a sour taste in my mouth. Agree to disagree, ey.

Enjoyed reading your comments Chez! Hopefully you agree on more of the rest of the list, haha.

QUOTE(Tafty³³³ @ Jan 3 2023, 08:19 PM) *
Yay finally a couple of films I've seen cheeseblock.png tearsmile.gif

'Unbearable Weight...' actually surprised me. I really am not a Nicholas Cage fan. I have such an irrational hatred of him... I can't pinpoint quite why he invokes such a strong reaction from me, but I just don't like him as an actor lmao. But this was quite amusing and caught me off guard a little as to how much I liked it aha.

'Bad Guys' was fun I thought. Although I found the animation to be sloppy in places.

'The Wonder' is on my list, hopefully tomorrow! Gonna try 'She Said' & 'The Sadness' tonight and then start my countdown too!
I'm the same as you on Nic Cage and whilst it had some funny moments, I think I just didn't get most of it. Good for him winning over a potential new fan in you though, haha.

The animation was infuriatingly sloppy in Bad Guys!! I'm glad to see you agree. It was fun enough but it was just an ordinary kids movie really with nothing special. I'm surprised it found a cult adult following when it was no better than anything that'd be straight to DVD in my opinion - oops.

Looking forward to comparing mine to your countdown Jonjo. I'm glad to see you enjoyed She Said over on Letterboxd. I thought it was quite brilliant too (spoilers).
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Josh!
post 4th January 2023, 02:22 PM
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119. Save the Cinema
directed by: Sara Sugarman
starring: Jonathan Pryce, Samantha Morton, Tom Felton, Adeel Akhtar, Susan Wokoma


This was really rather lovely. Very British and very TV movie but it put a smile on my face, and I love the true story element of it too.

Was rooting for all the main characters and I appreciated all the references to nostalgic movies & the 90s. It almost reminded me of a feel good musical in that way where they have characters that you feel like you actually want to cheer on and whoop.

Iconic of the Go Compare man to not only cameo but be an actual real life part of the story. That has to be one of the most surprising reveals in the ‘afterwards’ section you always get in true stories!!!!

Tom Felton gave Colin from It’s a Sin vibes … such a cutie !! The Welsh setting reminded me of Torchwood too, haha - loved it.




118. Choose or Die
directed by: Toby Meakins
starring: Iola Evans, Asa Butterfield, Angela Griffin, Ryan Gage, Joe Bolland, Kate Fleetwood, Ioanna Kimbook, Robert Englund, Eddie Marsan


Cheap and cheerful. You can tell it was inexpensive to make (felt more like an extended TV pilot really, lol) but it works just fine as some mindless fun to pop on at home in the streaming era.

I was having a good time watching the choices play out for Kayla (Iola Evans) as the game got into her psyche. The lingering shot on the woman chewing glass was the toughest to watch. Same goes for the rats chasing the mother, and I did think turning that sequence into a video game was a pretty inventive way to get around budget restrictions.

The last act is where it all falls apart unfortunately. The origin of the 'curse' didn't make much sense to me. And then it was quite unexplained why Eddie Marsan & Iola Evans were more like voodoo dolls than anything else? And one surviving whilst the other didn't seemed a bit far-fetched too.


Not good but not exactly bad either. Needed more Asa Butterfield and a better thought out finale. Some gross imagery works in its favour though (Marsan's kid using magazine cutouts to cover up his missing eye and tongue was the thing of nightmares).




117. Spiderhead
directed by: Joseph Kosinski
starring: Chris Hemsworth, Miles Teller, Jurnee Smollett


Another solid 'Black Mirror' inspired movie to add to the ever-growing list of knock-offs, haha. This was full of plenty interesting concepts though which makes it the perfect little streaming movie for a quiet afternoon.

The drugs being administered was interesting to watch, especially Verbaluce which was a good plot device to get the patients talking and get the action rolling. The love drug was a fun concept to introduce in the first act too to spice things up for the audience. All the more fun when Teller was put in a room with the huge tatted man and immediately went 'no, no, no!'.

Perhaps it was wrapped up a bit too quickly and neatly at the end which loses it a few points for me. It didn't feel like the ending I really wanted either. I'd have rather seen Hemsworth get his comeuppance and it felt like there were no real consequences to anything... just Teller and Smollett sailing off into the sunset as the credits roll. A weak ending makes me think I'll not remember a thing about this in a year's time, eek.




116. The Nan Movie
directed by: Josie Rourke
starring: Catherine Tate, Mathew Horne, Katherine Parkinson


I’ve shamefully never seen The Catherine Tate Show so I wasn’t familiar with the Nan character before this. I think I grasped what she was all about pretty quickly though and was happily along for the ride once the road trip began.

She was at her funniest when she was just being brutally rude to people, haha. Her ‘Australian’ accent was a laugh too. I think we’re beyond fart/shit jokes in comedies made for an adult audience though, aren’t we?!

I wasn’t really a fan of the flashbacks either but I guess they served a purpose that paid off in the end. It’s just that those wartime scenes were quite stripped of humour and therefore I just wanted to get back to the current plot in the van instead. However, the ending with Walter’s RuVeal and Nan’s reaction did make me chuckle.

Also, I suppose that it’s her shtick in the show but that cackle/laugh was sooooo grating. I worry I’ll have that ringing in my ears for days now.

This review sounds a bit more negative than I intend it read as I genuinely did have a fun time and I wouldn’t mind watching some clips of Nan on YouTube from her golden era in the 00s. Definitely a fun character and I can see why she became so popular for Tate.




115. Amsterdam
directed by: David O. Russell
starring: Christian Bale, Margot Robbie, John David Washington, Chris Rock, Anya Taylor-Joy, Zoe Saldaña, Mike Myers, Michael Shannon, Timothy Olyphant, Andrea Riseborough, Taylor Swift, Matthias Schoenaerts, Alessandro Nivola, Rami Malek, Robert De Niro


This isn’t as bad as reviews will have you believe it is but I’m also glad it’s not as good as David O. Russell probably thinks it is…

The premise actually starts off really interesting with a worried Taylor Swift getting thrown under a car. At that point, I was keen to know who was behind it all. But the rest of the film is very meandering, lots of uninteresting dialogue, and too many (fun but unnecessary) A-list cameos.

By the end, who cares? I don’t think an overarching message of love and kindness properly lands from one of Hollywood’s most infamously hateful directors.

I appreciated some of the performances though. Christian Bale, as we’ve come to expect by now, is brilliant in everything. I enjoyed the underlying evil of Anya Taylor-Joy’s character too. Chris Rock felt horrifically misplaced and his way over-the-top lines seemed cut from a different film.

Amsterdam is not bad but it's not good either. There's a good mystery in there somewhere (and I always enjoy something based on true life) but it undoubtedly needed some further time in the editing room.




114. Strange World
directed by: Don Hall
starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Dennis Quaid, Jaboukie Young-White, Gabrielle Union, Lucy Liu


This is OK but it's totally lacking in the charm that Disney has become renowned for. Not an offensively bad movie by any means but it feels like something that a cheap animation studio could just as easily churn out on the regular. How have we gone from the likes of Big Hero 6 and Wreck-It Ralph to this so quickly?!

None of the characters are particularly likeable or stand out as something you'd be begging Santa for the toy version at Christmas. There are also like no jokes? Like not a single joke that a parent would even smirk at if being forced to go by their little one. I'm an adult now but I always look forward to a new Disney film because they're funny in places for all the family. That's not something Disney have ever failed at until this film, eeeek.

The one thing it does have going for it is the twist that the world is actually an organism and they've been battling its natural immune system all this time. The twist is unique and surprisingly educational but it comes too late in the game to save an otherwise boring children's flick.

Side note but Disney had no right animating Jake Gyllenhaal's character to look that sexy. Move over Inside Out dad, we have a new cartoon DILF in town.




113. The Gray Man
directed by: The Russo Brothers
starring: Ryan Gosling, Chris Evans, Ana de Armas, Jessica Henwick, Regé-Jean Page, Wagner Moura, Julia Butters, Dhanush, Alfre Woodard, Billy Bob Thornton


I'm not the biggest fan of action thrillers so this ain't too bad a position. In all honesty though, it's only enjoyable because of its two leads and would be a far weaker movie without them. Gosling and Evans shine above everyone else - they're perfectly cast! Evans as a deliciously despicable villain with a potty-mouth. Gosling as the charming anti-hero that the audience grow to love.

They filmed on some pretty locations too which acted as a nice tourism advert. I'd certainly be down to visit Croatia and Prague now more than I was before, haha. Some of the drone shots were fun too. Michael Bay must've informed The Russos what fun drones were whilst he was filming Ambulance, lol.

At the end of the day though, everything about the film from the script, the twists, the location shots, the fight sequences is generic to all action thrillers and it does nothing to reinvent the wheel.

I'll probably watch a sequel but only because I can from the comfort of my own home. I'd not be rushing out to cinemas to catch this if it was a theatrical release. The sequel will need to come up with something special to replace Chris Evans too because I'd go as far to say he was indispensable to the watchability of this film.




112. Senior Year
directed by: Alex Hardcastle
starring: Rebel Wilson, Sam Richardson, Zoë Chao, Mary Holland, Justin Hartley, Chris Parnell, Angourie Rice, Avantika Vandanapu, Michael Cimino, Jeremy Ray Taylor, Brandon Scott Jones, Alicia Silverstone


I’m always rooting for Rebel Wilson but this ain’t it. I feel she gets a hard time when she’s usually pretty funny in my eyes but this one only evoked about two smirks in me throughout.

Parts of it I did like which means it wasn’t all so bad. I loved the nostalgia of it all as it was so aimed at 00s kids. Britney Spears and P!nk galore! The fish out of water sequences were funny too as Stephanie first became accustomed to life in 2022. The calculator iPhone replacement was one of my few smirks.

In general, I think 2 hour comedies rarely hit the mark and this was no exception. The emotional weight feels cheap and it’s hard to care at all as the jokes all fizzle out when things come to a head in the final act. I always end up watching the clock for it to just end.

Too many amateur cheerleader choreography sequences too which seemed to really drag. Saying that, Rebel Wilson supposedly backflipping across the stage at the very end was probably the funniest moment of the entire movie.




111. The 355
directed by: Simon Kinberg
starring: Jessica Chastain, Penélope Cruz, Fan Bingbing, Diane Kruger, Lupita Nyong'o, Édgar Ramírez, Sebastian Stan


Basically just run-of-the-mill action fodder but it was a bit more fun due to the iconic cast of women. The shaky-cam was really unbearable at times though… if your sole purpose is to exist as an action movie then show me the action please.

Penelope Cruz STEALS the show (as always really). She’s the only one that has a few giggles for the audience. Her being totally out of her depth was the source of the only humour in the movie. It also added some real emotional depth to the final act.

Speaking of that final act, I was really wowed that they went there with the killing off of so many loved ones. Lupita really aced that scene with her teary reaction. But then like 40 seconds later they were all fine again, looking their best, and posing like female superheroes. It felt a bit insincere considering what had happened to their personal lives like mere minutes ago in movie time.




110. Hatching
directed by: Hanna Bergholm
starring: Siiri Solalinna, Sophia Heikkilä, Jani Volanen, Reino Nordin, Saija Lentonen


If I were to sum this up in a nutshell: Titane (2021) but make it birds.

It felt shock and gore for the sake of it rather than any real reason. It just makes for uncomfortable viewing and not an enjoyable experience. I can see why people would appreciate it it’s uniqueness but it’s a hard pass for me.

We went to a screening of this where the audience didn’t know what was showing beforehand and people were flooding out, haha. I don’t blame them because it’s not the faint of heart. I was almost clocked out when the bird started slurping the sick up, and then again when they were spooning and she was half-bird/half-human hybrid at that point. Eh?

I was worried for a second but thankfully no newborn babies were ultimately harmed. Phew. The mother served c**t too, lmao. The LOOK she gave her daughter when she wasn’t doing as well in gymnastics as her little friend. Camp!


Re-cap:
110. Hatching
111. The 355
112. Senior Year
113. The Gray Man
114. Strange World
115. Amsterdam
116. The Nan Movie
117. Spiderhead
118. Choose or Die
119. Save the Cinema
120. Armageddon Time
121. The Bubble
122. Death on the Nile
123. Hotel Transylvania: Transformania
124. Umma
125. Joyride
126. The Wonder
127. Emily
128. The Bad Guys
129. Ali & Ava
130. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
131. Moonfall
132. The Tender Bar
133. Firestarter
134. My Son
135. Dog
136. The Silent Twins
137. White Noise
138. Dual
139. Blonde
140. The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild
141. Crimes of the Future


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Jade
post 4th January 2023, 07:11 PM
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^ I'm so glad that both of you enjoyed She Said! I was going to make a thread about it a couple of months ago but didn't know if there would be any interest.

In terms of the actual movies revealed so far, I didn't give Blonde the time of day after reading about how exploitative it was, once again from your review it sounds terrible.

I was planning to see Emily (mostly because of Emma Mackey x) but didn't end up getting around to it, maybe I didn't miss a lot then kink.gif
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Josh!
post 5th January 2023, 11:37 AM
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QUOTE(Jade @ Jan 4 2023, 07:11 PM) *
^ I'm so glad that both of you enjoyed She Said! I was going to make a thread about it a couple of months ago but didn't know if there would be any interest.

In terms of the actual movies revealed so far, I didn't give Blonde the time of day after reading about how exploitative it was, once again from your review it sounds terrible.

I was planning to see Emily (mostly because of Emma Mackey x) but didn't end up getting around to it, maybe I didn't miss a lot then kink.gif

Yeah, Blonde was just horrible. It wasn't worth sitting through at all. I don't know anyone irl who did finish it, lmao.

I love myself some Emma Mackey too but I don't think she suited the role. I mentioned it there but there's just something about her that screams she's from the wrong era, haha. You'll get just as much from a skim read through Emily Bronte's Wiki to be honest and save yourself the two hours.

Cheers Jade heart.gif Enjoyed reading your thoughts x
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UltraCruelSummer
post 5th January 2023, 11:55 AM
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QUOTE(Josh! @ Jan 5 2023, 11:37 AM) *
Yeah, Blonde was just horrible. It wasn't worth sitting through at all. I don't know anyone irl who did finish it, lmao.

hi.gif (unfortunately)

Loved following this so far as always and will post more thoughts later!! (I think we’re in agreement more than usual as well so far!)
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Josh!
post 5th January 2023, 11:57 AM
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109. Living
directed by: Oliver Hermanus
starring: Bill Nighy, Aimee Lou Wood, Alex Sharp, Tom Burke


This was OK but it wasn't exactly peak cinema. It didn't feel boring as such but nothing really exciting happened either and was largely devoid of humour too. Thankfully, it was short.

The talking point is definitely Bill Nighy's lead performance. I'm a bit mixed on it personally but it's nice to see him getting some positive attention from critics and even an outside chance at awards contention. On one hand, he did an excellent job at the quiet emotion of his character. There's one shot where he looks in the mirror and the sadness in his eyes says it all, although he's otherwise stony-faced. On the other hand, his quiet moodiness made him so blunt and low-pitched that I found it difficult to even grasp what he was saying at other times.

Aimee Lou Wood was charming and I'm dying for her to be a break out star after Sex Education but she wasn't as prominent as I'd have liked. Her scenes were the most enjoyable and she opened up a lot inside of Mr. Williams. I was only properly commanded to pay attention during the scenes they shared together. His solo scenes weren't hitting the same spot for me unfortunately.

All in all, it was fine but not exactly life changing. A decent lead performance but hardly my favourite of the year. An intermittently engaging screenplay. Just fine really but not much to write home about yet not a total waste of time either. I'd conclude that I was indifferent to this if you can't tell already, lmao.




108. Ticket to Paradise
directed by: Ol Parker
starring: George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Kaitlyn Dever, Maxime Bouttier, Billie Lourd, Lucas Bravo


This doesn’t reinvent the wheel but if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it etc. The plot plays out predictably, especially after seeing the trailer hammered at the cinema for months now. The jokes are also few and far between after the 2nd act which is one of my pet peeves when it comes to rom-coms.

Roberts and Clooney have commendable chemistry and are both superstars in their own right. They’re what make this film successful because it’d likely be a 1/2 star movie with less charismatic leads.

Not sure why Billie Lourd signed up for such a nothing-y role but it’s nice to her face show up. Good for her getting a pay-check and a free holiday to Bali. On that note, gorgeous locations! I’d sell a kidney to stay in that hotel that the two parents were in - wow!

A lovely film to watch with your mum, maybe. Ultimately though, a bit of a bore if you stick it on with the wrong crowd.




107. Decision to Leave
directed by: Park Chan-wook
starring: Tang Wei, Park Hae-il


This had some intriguing moments but ultimately I know I’d have stopped watching if this was five 30 minute television episodes instead. It doesn’t justify its long runtime and is hard to follow at times (especially with the constant introduction of new characters throughout).

Our leading lady was a bit of a queen and I appreciated how clever she was with getting all the evidence deleted that the cop had. What a horrible way to kill yourself too. I could almost feel the wet sand choking me up as a viewer.

I was clock watching though and that’s never a good sign in a movie. Especially when he’d realised she was the killer and we still had ninety minutes left. The plot still had some interesting things to show us so I’m almost glad it didn’t end there but it was just so slow getting from piece to piece.




106. Smile
directed by: Parker Finn
starring: Sosie Bacon, Jessie T. Usher, Kyle Gallner, Kal Penn, Rob Morgan


I can’t help but feel a little disappointed with this one. I think I’d over-baked my own hype after seeing positive reviews which left me more let down than anything. The final package didn’t serve anything more special than the trailer gave us either. Shame!

I’m not usually the jumpiest at horrors but this did get me good in places. The worst was when she was playing back the therapy clip because I was soooo focused on the audio that I wasn’t anticipating a visual scare. That was the worst.

I know people doing dumb things in horrors is a fun trope but her ex-boyfriend was so stupid that it ruined the whole final act. Like why would he follow her? Give me one reason.

The horny devil part of me doesn’t mind because I will absolutely watch a sequel if he’s the central character because I thought he was fit af, lmaoooo.




105. Where the Crawdads Sing
directed by: Olivia Newman
starring: Daisy Edgar-Jones, Taylor John Smith, Harris Dickinson, Michael Hyatt, Sterling Macer, Jr., Jojo Regina, Garret Dillahunt, Ahna O'Reilly, David Strathairn


Rather a slow build-up, but I was pretty hooked as soon as that fiancé bomb was dropped. I knew Chase was gonna be trash as soon as he was all up in her house messing with her papers but what an asshole!

The first two acts really didn’t have much to them and I felt like I was clock-watching. It had very pretty landscapes and I was rooting for Kya to succeed against the odds but it wasn’t exactly an entertaining or exciting piece of cinema, lol.

After that, the final act unravelled at an exhilarating pace and it kept me guessing with every clue. I was expecting it to be Tate who killed Chase actually but I guess he was just too dreamy and lovely.

… but then Kya actually being revealed as a killer kind of made no sense? Her lawyer made such a good case for it being based on hearsay and not fact that I think he had me convinced. It felt a bit insulting as a viewer to show us every step of the story so far in flashback and then not show us the actual death so we could see what happened. Instead we just have to believe some bullshit monologue from old Kya and a necklace carved inside a book. OK then but how?!?
Perhaps it’s explained better in the book. I’ll never know.




104. Minions: The Rise of Gru
directed by: Kyle Balda
starring: Steve Carell, Pierre Coffin, Taraji P. Henson, Michelle Yeoh, Russell Brand, Julie Andrews, Alan Arkin


I enjoyed this slightly less than the first Minions movie but still had a chuckle or three. It was largely more of the same but there was more of a focus on Gru who I don't particularly love watching, and it lacked the British charm from the first movie too. He's way less charismatic as a villain compared to Scarlet Overkill from the last movie. Let's be honest, the Minions are the stars of these spin-offs so it didn't work 100% for me as they reverted half the screen time back to Gru.

There were some really fun scenes though where the Minions were able to wreak havoc on society. The entire plan hijacking sequence actually had me giggling as an adult and I know I'd have been squealing if I was still a child, lmao. The pet rock winking at Otto won me over too.

Action wise, the Vicious 6 were cool villains and had some nicely animated action scenes. The one on roller blades looked awesome in slo-mo, and the names Jean-Clawed and Nun-chuck made me chuckle too. I also enjoyed seeing them in their Kaiju form in the final act, it helped to up the ante for the finale.

At the end of the day, it's a movie aimed at very young children so it's hardly the height of film-making but this franchise remains a great family day out at the cinema. I'm probably one of very few adults but I'd like more bumbling Minions outrageousness please, and keep the Gru backstory detours to the main franchise.




103. Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile
directed by: Will Speck & Josh Gordon
starring: Javier Bardem, Constance Wu, Winslow Fegley, Scoot McNairy, Brett Gelman, Shawn Mendes


I wasn’t expecting this to be like a full-on musical but I got kind of into it. Pasek & Paul are as dependable as ever and give us some pretty good tunes here. “Top of the World” actually feels very inspirational in the moment and I was feeling very charmed during “Rip Up the Recipe” too.

It didn’t really make sense though… like why couldn’t Lyle speak but he could sing? Eh? I never bought the character design for adult Lyle either. It never seemed liked Shawn’s singing voice was ever actually coming from the crocodile’s mouth.

I also thought they could’ve done more with the America’s Got Talent (rip-off) moment. Give us Simon Cowell and Mel B cameos! I guess they wasted all the budget on Shawn Mendes because they couldn’t afford great CGI either.

Also, Winslow Fegley is the double of his brother. I thought he’d aged backwards!! Very sweet though, bless him.




102. Our Father
directed by: Lucie Jordan
starring: (Documentary)


Hard to rank documentaries in the mix but I've tried anyway...

Wtf?? The betrayal of trust from a medical professional. The fact that 90+ kids are in and around the Indiana area all with the same father. The repercussions that could have if they met unknowingly and had kids themselves etc.

It’s all just beyond belief! I’d still find it far-fetched if the plot was a work of fiction.

And the worst bit being that the criminal justice system deems a $500 fine as appropriate punishment.




101. Falling For Christmas
directed by: Janeen Damian
starring: Lindsay Lohan, Chord Overstreet


Nondescript and not very funny? Perhaps… but it’s certainly festive and the cast have enough charm to carry it through.

The North Star Lodge itself looked absolutely bloody gorgeous. The worst plot point was that nobody wanted to stay there?!? I’d kill to stay there! They should’ve just sold their (many) Christmas decorations and they’ve made a few million quid, lmao.

It’s nice to see Lindsay Lohan back, and my first ever watch of Glee going on at the moment made me appreciate Chord Overstreet too. Morphed into a bit of a daddy, hasn’t he? 😗

Yay for happy endings and all. Probably won’t ever see this again but it was a nice enough December 1st watch. Does the job so I’ll not complain x




100. Better Nate than Ever
directed by: Tim Federle
starring: Rueby Wood, Joshua Bassett, Aria Brooks, Lisa Kudrow, Norbert Leo Butz


Cute for anyone who was a closeted musical theatre gay kid at one stage of their life but probably really irritating for literally anybody else. So naturally I enjoyed it, lmao!

Nate was kind of adorable, an alright singer, and actually quite good at the more serious scenes too. I was almost tearing up a bit myself when he confronted his big brother for being embarrassed by him.

Libby was the best character for me though, she was just so sweet and the best friend any gay kid could dream of. Bless her barking way up the wrong tree by having a crush on him though, haha. Hopefully that old lady on the bus told her about the telltale gaydar signs.

It does give very High School Musical: The Musical: The Series meets Glee so I’m not surprised to see that it was created by the same guy who did the former. Having the stars being even younger though adds an extra wholesome feel to the movie. This sort of movie should be super important to show all kids in their young teens. I’d have loved a movie like this as representation for me when I was that age :’)


Re-cap:
100. Better Nate Than Ever
101. Falling For Christmas
102. Our Father
103. Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile
104. Minions: The Rise of Gru
105. Where the Crawdads Sing
106. Smile
107. Decision to Leave
108. Ticket to Paradise
109. Living


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Josh!
post 6th January 2023, 11:11 AM
Post #20
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QUOTE(UltraMidnights @ Jan 5 2023, 11:55 AM) *
hi.gif (unfortunately)

Loved following this so far as always and will post more thoughts later!! (I think we’re in agreement more than usual as well so far!)

Bless us both, ey.

Thanks as always Sam! Looking forward to hearing more from you x
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