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[Josh!]

99. The Forgiven
directed by: John Michael McDonagh
starring: Ralph Fiennes, Jessica Chastain, Matt Smith, Ismael Kanater, Caleb Landry Jones, Abbey Lee, Mourad Zaoui, Marie-Josée Croze, Alex Jennings, Saïd Taghmaoui, Christopher Abbott

Didn’t even watch a trailer for this so it was a total surprise. It had some interesting comments on class and culture differences, and I appreciated that final scene came full circle. It was a powerful moment.

I’m turning into a bit of a Matt Smith stan. He’s doing great in everything he’s in at the minute. Bit of a femme king here, haha. My crush only intensifies…

In the end, I liked that we saw Fiennes be redeemed and Chastain the same old horrible person, but throughout I found the Chastain scenes an unwelcome distraction. They weren’t particularly exciting scenes in comparison although they were, ultimately, necessary. I do love Chastain though, it’s just that Fiennes’ storyline was far more unnerving, eye-opening etc.



98. Official Competition
directed by: Gastón Duprat & Mariano Cohn
starring: Penélope Cruz, Antonio Banderas, Oscar Martínez, José Luis Gómez, Irene Escolar, Manolo Solo, Nagore Aranburu, Pilar Castro, Koldo Olabarri

Penélope Cruz as a lesbian power-top earned this immediate extra stars.

I loved the interactions between the main three, especially when they were rehearsing. That’s where all my major laughs came from (mainly Cruz force them to do unhinged stuff for the love of the arts). I knew I was in for a fun time when she was getting her actors to repeat ‘good night’ over and over. She had a point though!

I do think the film was a little overly pretentious at times when it wasn’t that clever really. I predicted ahead of time that Iván would drop out and they’d steal his idea and get Felix to play both brothers. Yet the film acts like it’s an everlasting masterpiece. I’m not so sure…

Some moments that will stick with me though and I’m glad I watched it. That make-out scene was absolutely wild! I loved watching things going into the grinder too (it’s like something I’d watch on TikTok for hours, lol).



97. Men
directed by: Alex Garland
starring: Jessie Buckley, Rory Kinnear

Erm... I feel like I had more questions coming out of this than I did going in? There was a time where I was going to give this a stronger score but I think the final act ruined things massively. There were parts that built the tension well but I left my screening feeling like I didn't really get it (aside from 'men are trash', of course).

The body horror in this was just insane. I thought it couldn't possibly get worse than the severed hand but that whole birthing sequence one after the other can't be topped. I'll certainly not get those images out of my head for a while. I was praying for the film to be over by that point as I'd felt sick to my stomach for the best part of an hour straight, lol. The length of that sequence felt unnecessary too in all honesty.

There was a long segment in the middle of the film that was just so horrifying and full of dread. Each Rory Kinnear character was more unnerving than the last and you couldn't help but feel a pit in your stomach for Jessie Buckley's character. I genuinely felt ill watching it and at times even thought I could've burst into tears.

Was it successful in making me wince? Yes. Did I enjoy a single second of actually viewing this? No. Would I watch it again? No chance.



96. Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore
directed by: David Yates
starring: Eddie Redmayne, Jude Law, Ezra Miller, Dan Fogler, Alison Sudol, Callum Turner, Jessica Williams, Katherine Waterston, Mads Mikkelsen

Ah man, this spin-off series has really lost all the charm that the original Harry Potter movies had in abundance. All the colours are so washed out and the scenery is stripped of any light. Ironically, this feels so devoid of magic despite being a film about magic, lmao.

That big moment we've all been waiting for between Dumbledore and Grindelwald felt SO low stakes that I almost didn't think the film was going to end after the final act. Why did it take place in some weird white-washed alternate universe?! Dumbledore versus Voldemort was much more of a spectacle in Order of the Phoenix. If I've seen that then why would I be impressed by this? Dumbledore didn't even lose his hat for goodness sake!!!

This version of Grindelwald only felt mildly cruel too which was a choice. Depp's portrayal was a lot more unhinged and you believed that he was ready to fly off the bat at any moment. This Grindelwald declares war on all Muggle-kind and has the perfect opportunity to Avada Kedavra the f*** out of one (on the largest stage in the Wizarding World, no less) but instead just uses a pain curse for five seconds and then leaves him be? OK then. Don't be afraid to kill off your lead characters occasionally please... it can be very impactful when used correctly (and this would have been one of those moments).

There are some bits to mention on the good side so I'll comment on those too. The film is openly very gay and it's nice to see something like that in a major movie blockbuster. Dumbledore and Grindelwald didn't attempt to hide their history and I hope we get some more sexual tension in future instalments (although I guess this is likely an early end for the franchise).

Story wise, it was pretty by the numbers but I did enjoy the deception trick with the multiple suitcases. It kept me guessing as a viewer and I was glad to see it all paid off in the end. I half suspected it may have all been a double bluff and Kowalski had the important one all along and that's why Dumbledore wanted to go with him. That was about the only plot point I enjoyed though, lol.

I also liked that they kept the Fantastic Beasts central to the storyline too with the Qilin being such an important part. They were super cute too. I could've done without the magical lobster sequence though as that fell a bit too far on the childish side.

I'll finish on a positive, as we've come to expect from this franchise, the characters are great so that's where the majority of these stars are earned. Lally was a great addition and was a total badass during the fancy dinner scene. She looked stunning there too (and throughout the film) - she'd definitely be my favourite teacher in school. Queenie remains the best character this spin-off series has given us so yay for her redemption as well. I'm glad to see her wearing some vibrant clothes again and being a bit more perky in general.

Overall, I'm left feeling bitterly disappointed. What was once my childhood favourite world is now lacking in all whimsical magic-ness. I'm sticking it out for the characters but give me more please David Yates.



95. All Quiet on the Western Front
directed by: Edward Berger
starring: Felix Kammerer, Albrecht Schuch, Daniel Brühl

This is objectively good but it just falls in line with literally none of my interests. I don't like war movies and this is as war-ry as war movies get. It also felt veeeery long to me but I blame myself for being disinterested in the topic itself. I feel bad rating this low but I just didn't enjoy it at all so I guess it's my fault if this falls below a 4.0 on Letterboxd.

There were some very harrowing moments that will stick with me though so in that sense I'm glad I sat through it. The moment where the tanks are squashing people underneath them was terrifying. There's also that very touching moment of humanity where Paul feels remorse after stabbing the enemy soldier. These few (and far between) moments made it worthwhile watching for me but the filler in between simply didn't engage me.

The worst bit to watch was those final moments before the peace treaty comes into effect where Paul loses his life after going through so much and surviving it until then. It was a brutal ending and it will be something I remember for years. It's so unfair that they were sent to battle still knowing that world peace was minutes away.

So yeah, I'm glad historians are gushing over it (and deservedly so, I guess) but these types of movies are just categorically not my thing.



94. The Invitation
directed by: Jessica M. Thompson
starring: Nathalie Emmanuel, Thomas Doherty, Stephanie Corneliussen, Alana Boden, Hugh Skinner, Sean Pertwee

I had not seen a trailer for this so I had no idea what to expect but this was kind of camp?! Full on gothic vampire schtick and I was kind of eating it up. The first half is so tonally different to the second part though that I'm not sure it gels that well as a final piece.

I enjoyed seeing Nathalie Emmanuel as our final girl, and appreciated she had some funny moments. She's been showing her comedic chops off a little bit in the Fast & Furious franchise too and she pulls it off well. She looked absolutely stunning in a lot of the outfits too so props to the costume design department.

That wicked-tongued older wife was an absolute icon too. She reminded me of Caroline Stanbury if she was a black-haired vampire in an alternate reality, lmao.

On the other side, I don't think Evie's FaceTime friend worked that well and felt tonally off from the rest. It reminds me of the awkward distraction from the main plot that Lil Rel Howery brings to Get Out.

Also, they were going all in on generic vampire stuff in the second half that it didn't even make sense in the movie. Generic bad guy saying generic bad things like 'I can't wait to feed you to the wolves' when wolves had never been mentioned before this.

Did I enjoy this? Yes. Was it any good? Not really, no. But certainly a fun surprise and I'm glad I watched it.

(I have myself a newfound crush in Thomas Doherty too. I'll have myself a piece of that posh totty please).



93. Causeway
directed by: Lila Neugebauer
starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Bryan Tyree Henry

This was strong in the sense that it was a very human story and its small scale helped it achieve that. As a piece of entertainment though, it was rather slow and a lot of the conversations weren't engaging. It's not the sort of script that has you hanging on every word... more so the sort of script that has you drifting in and out of interest.

Both lead performances are great though so I'm glad to see them getting some well-deserved praise. I wouldn't say it's Jennifer Lawrence's best ever performance or anywhere close but it's certainly raw and she does a good job making it feel real. I'm just glad to have her back in serious dramas after being away for seemingly forever.

I was impressed with Brian Tyree Henry too and I thought he shone in their scene in the pool where he gets out after the pity comments from Lawrence's character. Proving to be quite the versatile actor between this and Bullet Train in 2022.

My verdict is that yes, this is true to life and but it's far from interesting. I'll not be rushing to watch this ever again but I'd be happy to see some Oscar clips doing the rounds.



92. Spirited
directed by: Sean Anders
starring: Will Ferrell, Ryan Reynolds, Octavia Spencer, Sunita Mani, Patrick Page, Marlow Barkley, Tracy Morgan

Fun little twist on A Christmas Carol and at the end of the day, it's such a good story as a concept that any adaptation of it always has a strong base point. This brings it into the modern era and we have some fun references to TikTok and social media (etc.) that you'd expect with a 2022 retelling.

The Ryan Reynolds quippy shtick still makes me chuckle from time to time so I enjoyed watching him as lead. Will Ferrell doesn't make me laugh so much any more but he was bearable. I liked both Ghost of Christmas Past and Future too (the former was a total queen for sh*gging Ryan Reynolds at work, lmaooo).

Octavia Spencer turns up and plays herself yet again (hey, it's earned her three Oscar nominations so why not?) but she's so incredibly charming that she manages to be my favourite thing about the movie. She slays "The View from Here" (and its many reprises) and it manages to be one of the most uplifting moments in the whole film.

That song and "Good Afternoon" were my favourite musical numbers. The latter complete with JUDI DENCH cameo!!!! I was gobsmacked. There are about four too many merely satisfactory show tunes though which make the film totally drag. Pasek and Paul have their moments here but they're not on their A game like they are in The Greatest Showman and La La Land.

Ultimately, not a bad bit of festive cheer and AppleTV+ always manages to impress me with its quality production value. Bit of a slog when the musical numbers drag on and on though (and that's coming from a big fan of musical theatre).



91. Windfall
directed by: Charlie McDowell
starring: Lily Collins, Jesse Plemons, Jason Segel

I thought the script and cinematography were pretty strong for a streaming movie so props to it for that. I liked that it was a kidnap movie but with a lot of humour injected into it. Segel was a useless robber yet I know I’d have been compliant and gone along with it too if I were in their shoes, lmao.

Wow at those shots in the orange tree garden as well. It makes me want to go to one and I hate the taste of oranges, haha. That gardener deserves a pay rise for making a literal outdoor paradise but I bet he was paid a pittance by that asshole billionaire.

Speaking of the gardener… I’m still in shock at that poor man making a run for it and then ending up with a window pane shard lodged in his throat. My mouth was agape watching that scene!

Overall, a pretty solid watch. The short runtime probably helps it out in that regard but the script deserves a mention for balancing comedy and genuine thrill very well (especially as the final act heats up). A bit forgettable though.



90. The Phantom of the Open
directed by: Craig Roberts
starring: Mark Rylance, Sally Hawkins, Rhys Ifans, Jake Davies, Christian Lees, Jonah Lees, Mark Lewis Jones, Johann Myers

This is simply your run-of-the-mill British true story dramedy that we see time after time. You know exactly what you’re going to get but they’re always charming and put a smile on your face… and this is no exception.

Flitcroft was a really fun bloke and his story lends itself well to this kind of biopic. I enjoyed seeing the real life footage at the very end in comparison to Rylance’s accurate performance. The humour hit more often than not, especially when he was in disguise and speaking foreign languages shoddily, haha.

I would also give absolutely anything for Sally Hawkins so I enjoyed seeing her back in that supportive wife role where she often excels and makes your heart all warm inside.

I was surprisingly endeared by the dancing disco twins and their endless supply of quirky moves to fit any occasion. They were simultaneously the dorkiest and yet the coolest duo I’ve ever seen. I’d watch a spin-off about their lives to be honest, lmao.

This doesn’t reinvent the wheel but if it ain’t broke then don’t fix it.

Re-cap:
90. The Phantom of the Open
91. Windfall
92. Spirited
93. Causeway
94. The Invitation
95. All Quiet on the Western Front
96. Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore
97. Men
98. Official Competition
99. The Forgiven

This post has been edited by Josh!: 6th January 2023, 11:35 AM