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Posted by: jafetsigfinns 20th May 2016, 08:13 PM

Hey guys. Huge Eurovision fan here. Been working on a project for a few weeks to try to make a ranking of all the Eurovision entries from the very first year I watched the contest (2000) until the very last contest that just finished last saturday. I try to base these results on the live performances though as we get higher on the list other things will factor into my results. This ranking will be split into two portions: The Top 250 and then songs that did not make the Top 250. I'll begin by cutting huge batches at a time by eliminating all the songs that did not make it to the Top 250 for each country - going alphabetically starting with Albania and ending with the United Kingdom. After I've cleared that clutter I will start ranking them from 250 and downwards until we reach my absolute favorite.

Feel free to speculate about everything and I hope you guys will enjoy this ranking as much as I have enjoyed making it. The first country - Albania - will be getting their cuts shortly.

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 20th May 2016, 08:41 PM

We'll start by covering the 13 entries Albania has presented us with since their inauguration year 2004. They have never missed out on a year since and have sent some great performances, including one that is very high on this list. They also include one of the songs I consider to be one of themost overrated songs in Eurovision history, as well as some incredibly boring fillers. Mostly however Albania has sent much better songs than I would have expected from a country I don't know very much about. In the history of my version of the contest Albania has qualified 7 times and failed to qualify 6 times, though two of those non-qualifications were very hard to decide. By taking the top 5 songs for each country I figured out a relative rank out of the countries that have participated in the past 17 years and Albania places 29th out of 48 on that list.

606th Place – "Suus" by Rona Nishliu (2012)

This is gonna be an unpopular choice but I absolutely despise this song. I seriously cannot understand how this managed to make it into the Top 10 in 2012 especially given how strong that year was, and I seriously cannot understand how this is such a huge fan favorite. This is just Rona shouting and getting ready to cry on stage. Absolutely baffled by Suus' popularity.

567th Place – "Hear My Plea" by Frederik Ndoci (2007)

Boring. I always have to listen to it again to remind myself which borefest this is.

544th Place – "Identitet" by Adrian Lulgjuraj and Bledar Sejko (2013)

2013 was a great year but this is definitely not something I'd use as an example of that. Not exactly horrible but very bland and easily forgotten.

500th Place – "Zemrën e lamë peng" by Olta Boka (2008)

This one just about crawls into the meh category for me. Very forgettable and the last of Albania's bad entries. Everything left is somewhere on the scale of somewhat good to amazing.

365th Place – "Feel the Passion" by Aurela Gace (2011)

No Albanian entries in the 400 to 499 window so we jump right into a pretty solid song. Aurela is a good singer but the song doesn't really go anywhere. 2011 is a mixed year for me but this places 29th out of the 43 entries for me nontheless. Something missing but good nontheless. Not all that surprising that she didn't qualify to be honest.

311th Place – "One Night's Anger" by Hersi Matmuja (2014)

This one wasn't really liked if I recall correctly, but I loved Hersi's raw performance. There was something in her voice that I loved and I felt this was a pretty emotional song. Didn't qualify IRL but easily qualified in my version of the contest but ultimately placed 21st out of the 37 entries.

283rd Place – "I'm Alive" by Elhaida Dani (2015)

I honestly forgot that this qualified last year because it feels very much like a non-qualifier to me. Elhaida sings beautifully though and has great control over her voice so I'm glad she did qualify. It pales a bit in comparison to most of the songs ahead of it for 2015, especially since the lyrics are rather flat but her strong voice helps raise her up a bit on my list.

281st Place – "Zjarr ë ftohte" by Luiz Ejlli (2006)

Just a few steps ahead of Elhaida is Luiz and one of the earliest Albanian entries in the competition. I'll be honest I don't even recall hearing this in the 2006 contest but I was pleasantly surprised by how fun this song is upon re-watch. This is a fun traditional song with lyrics I cannot understand for the life of me but Luiz seems to have fun and it shows. I'm honestly surprised this didn't qualify, but then again the early Semi finals were very flawed with how many songs were competing for so few spots.

270th Place – "It's All About You" by Juliana Pasha (2010)

2010 is one of my favorite years in the contest and Juliana definitely helps that fact. She loses out of the Top 250 by only 20 spots but the competition had gotten pretty fierce at this point. This is the final Albanian entry not to make the Top 250 and although it was a hard cut I feel that it's definitely justifiable. While the song is great and a rather typical Eurovision song it's just a little bit generic and not all that hard to forget. Great effort nontheless.

Albanian Qualifiers · 4 out of 13

• "Carry Me In Your Dreams" by Kejsi Tola (2009)
• "Fairytale" by Eneda Tarifa (2016)
• "The Image Of You" by Anjeza Shahini (2004)
• "Tomorrow I Go" by Ledina Celo (2005)

There we have it! Four songs qualified for Albania and I can imagine two of them are perhaps somewhat surprising. "Fairytale" and "Tomorrow I Go" are probably not exactly fan favorites, but the other two definitely are. We'll see how well these fare in the actual Top 250 but I'll tell you this much: one of these songs goes very far!

Posted by: gooddelta 20th May 2016, 08:45 PM

I'll keep a track on this list, looks interesting!

Ha, I'll never forget when I hit the back streets of Malmo in 2013 during my time there and some unassuming supermarket I'd popped into was playing Identitet literally on repeat. I was in there for 20 minutes and heard it seven times in a row, I felt incredibly sorry for the staff.

Posted by: Iz~ 20th May 2016, 08:51 PM

Well, it looks like I may not necessarily agree with a lot of this list, I think I'd count Suus, Identitet and Zemrën e lamë peng as my three favourite Albanian entries, it's always the intense emotion for the former with me. And I'm probably the one fan of Identitet, it has fab instrumentation and captivating vocals for me, although I doubt that's an opinion shared by anyone else here.

However, however, this is a massive undertaking and one I'm envious of in that you have a clear ranking of everything, so I'm impressed with that, I'll definitely have a look-in here to see how it progresses.

Posted by: gooddelta 20th May 2016, 09:02 PM

I grew to tolerate Identitet, it now sort of reminds me of my Malmo experience more than any other song in a funny way.

Posted by: Liаm 20th May 2016, 09:13 PM

Carry Me In You Dreams <3

I love Suus too oops.

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 20th May 2016, 09:26 PM

Thanks for the feedback all! I'm glad this is intriguing the three of you and I hope you enjoy my list even if you don't necessarily agree with it!

I of course totally respect your opinions, including ones on Suus. I can somewhat understand what some people might see in it but man it's just so not my cup of tea xD

@Iz - I'm sorry I cut all your Albanian faves already, but hopefully we're on the same page with some other countries!

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 20th May 2016, 09:46 PM

Oh geez. Andorra does not have a very great track record in this contest. They competed a grand total of 6 times in the years between 2004 and 2009 and not a single time did they qualify for the final. Their top performance was in 2007 with Anonymous where they placed 12th in the semi with 80 points. The same was not the case in my versions of Andorra's journey, mostly thanks to my decision to have 2 semis in the 2004 - 2007 contests, so Andorra actually managed to qualify 4 out of 6 times, but all of those entries with the exception of one placed in the bottom five of the final those years lol. Andorra's overall placement in my country ranking is 43rd out of 48 countries so it's not the worst out of the bunch, but very low indeed.

536th Place – "Jugarem A Estimar-nos" by Marta Roure (2004)

The bottom placing Andorra track is also their debut entry in the contest. This is just very flat, uninteresting and uninspired to me. The singer's voice is not very good and the song is just a very generic 2004 entry. Placed 4th last out of the whole 2004 rooster for me.

430th Place – "Sense Tu" by Jenny (2006)

Another uninspired and boring entry. Not necessarily bad but I just really cannot recall a single thing about this song or performance. Forgettable is putting it nicely.

387th Place – "Salvem El Món" by Anonymous (2007)

Ugh the 2007 contest is my least favorite contest after 2002 and 2003 and the sudden influx of rock songs is one of the biggest reasons why. This is actually not all bad to be honest but the vocals are just all kinds of bad in my opinion. Very surprised that this is the best performance Andorra's had in the contest in their 6 years of participation but then again 2007 was a terrible year song-wise so maybe not all that surprising.

380th Place – "La Tevo Decisió (Get A Life)" by Susanne Georgi (2009)

Oh geez, this sounds like something of a Avril Lavigne 2002 reject lmao. Very uninspired and generic and the fact that this is their 3rd highest entry on my list speaks volumes of how very mid-table their songs were so it's really no surprise they never qualified lmao. Next please.

370th Place – "Casanova" by Gisela (2008)

Ehh, again this is just so bland. It's definitely better vocally than the other four entries I cut already but the song does nothing for me. I understand this was somewhat of a fan favorite back in 2008 though which I will never understand given how many great songs were in that year. Definitely deserved to qualify though.

Andorran Qualifiers · 1 out of 6

• "La Mirada Interior" by Marian van de Wal (2005)

Oh would you look at that! One song qualified and it's tied for Andorra's worst performance in ESC actually lmao <3

Posted by: gooddelta 20th May 2016, 09:59 PM

Andorra were largely crap but I quite liked that they entered, a sort of precursor to San Marino somehow

I did love Jugarem A Estimar-Nos though, I actually still listen to that a lot now, love the long built up bridge in particular, the song reminds me of being at college!

Posted by: gooddelta 20th May 2016, 10:00 PM

That said, I've just watched the Eurovision performance on Youtube and it was indeed awful, both vocally and presentation wise. Definitely a keeper in studio version only for me.

Posted by: Iz~ 20th May 2016, 10:02 PM

Heh, don't worry about losing my faves, you'll probably lose more if you disliked 2007 for the rock, it's your countdown first and foremost.

On that note, the only Andorran entry I slightly care for is Anonymous. Shame to have them gone but I can see why none of them qualified.

Posted by: gooddelta 20th May 2016, 10:04 PM

Anonymous came 12th out of 28 in the semi (god...the days of one semi where only 10 qualified ) so Andorra could consider themselves very much deprived of one deserved finalist. My sister loved that song.

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 20th May 2016, 10:09 PM

Ohhh Armenia! I love Armenia. They have a veery solid history in Eurovision and have given us some amazing performances which definitely surprised me a lot when they kept releasing amazing song after amazing song. They have been participating since 2006 with only 2012 being their off year due to the host nation being their mortal enemies Azerbaijan. The fact that Armenia has placed in the Top 10 seven out of ten times is amazing and they have actually only once failed to qualify (and it was definitely justifiable as their song in 2011 was terrible - more on that later). Armenia also have shown that even when their songs are maybe not all that exciting the performance can boost the song by miles as we saw just last saturday with Iveta and the amazing performance she delivered in Stockholm. Anyway, Armenia are great and their placement on my Country list reflects that as they are actually 7th out of 48 countries based on list performance. OMG!

552nd Place – "Boom Boom" by Emmy (2011)

What the hell Armenia? After giving us Sirusho, Inga & Anush and Eva Rivas we suddenly get this mess of a song which gets the honor of being Armenia's only time so far not to qualify into the final. This is Armenia's biggest disappointment yet as this is just incredibly repetitive and childish and definitely did not deserve a spot in the final. Emmy is a decent singer but the song is just so bad that it's not even funny. What were you guys thinking?

503rd Place – "Anytime You Need" by Hayko (2007)

The second time Armenia performed they brought us this borefest and somehow it lucked into the Top 10 (mostly thanks to one of the worst years on record IMO). I don't really remember how this song goes so memorable it ain't.

400th Place – "Lonely Planet" by Dorians (2013)

Aww, this boyband decided to go for meaningful in Armenia's comeback year after boycotting the Baku contest but yeah it didn't really work did it? It's a nice enough song but it doesn't leave much of an imprint in my mind so I felt I really couldn't drag this any further than 400th place. The vocals were nice though, but the song is very generic and pales in comparison to the many amazing entries of 2013.

362nd Place – "Face the Shadow" by Genealogy (2015)

I'm very conflicted about this entry as I totally forgot about it during the 2015 contest and was rather surprised that it qualified, but upon re-watching the contest I definitely understood why (to some degree). The song is nothing spectacular but the vocals are great and it's lovely to see Inga (of 2009's "Jan Jan" fame) come back as part of this cute project. It's very forgettable but still very nice. 362nd place is however where I have to cut it.

Armenian Qualifiers · 6 out of 10

• "Apricot Stone" by Eva Rivas (2010)
• "Jan Jan" by Inga & Anush (2009)
• "LoveWave" by Iveta Mukuchyan (2016)
• "Not Alone" by Aram MP3 (2014)
• "Qélé, Qélé" by Sirusho (2008)
• "Without Your Love" by André (2006)

Six entires in the top 250 which is the most out of the 3 countries I've covered so far. All of those were top 10 entries in their respective years so I'm assuming there are no real surprises in this bunch. One of these only barely made the Top 250 though!

Posted by: 💯 21st May 2016, 08:18 AM

Ooh this looks great and I would probably never be able to finish such a project lmao

Suus hate though

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 21st May 2016, 08:46 AM

Okay, I know a lot of people are anti-Australia for not being an actual European country but I'll be the (probably not) first to say that I'm SO here for Australian domination in Eurovision! They have sent two entries so far and they are both AMAZING. Honestly, I don't feel like dragging this too far to be honest but Australia's entries easily make it both into the Top 250. They have delivered great performances and it's so obvious that Australia definitely GETS Eurovision. Dami Im was amazing last saturday and her vocals were on point and my whole party was so sad that she failed to win, but Jamala was great too so it's ok. I felt like two entries would bias Australia's position in the country ranking though so I dragged them a bit down for having only two entries to show for so far. Their current position in the ranking is 9th out of 43 countries on my list.

Australian Qualifiers · 2 out of 2

• "Sound of Silence" by Dami Im (2016)
• "Tonight Again" by Guy Sebastian (2015)

Two out of two entries makes for a perfect 100% qualification record into the Top 250. G'job mate.

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 21st May 2016, 09:26 AM

Now for the first country to have won the contest in the 17 years of covered contest for me. Austria is definitely an interesting country for me as they usually send very mediocre entries and even their very worst song I don't necessarily hate. They have missed out on 5 contests since 2000 and have actually only qualified for the final 3 times since the semi finals were introduced. When Austria won I was actually very surprised but since I do like the song I wasn't really mad. Conchita was a great winner and she wore the title with pride. However, that one win was not enough to bring the country to a higher ranking than 36th out of 48.

545th Place – "Y Así" by Global Kryner (2005)

Welp. We start this off with Austria's possibly biggest WTF mome-- oh, wait I still have Alf Poier on this list lmao. Ok, this is still somewhat strange in the sense that it's very unlikely Austria actually expected to qualify with this mess. This feels dated by about 40 or 50 years in every possible sense of the word.

515th Place – "Du Bist" by Tie Break (2004)

Let it be known that I am not a fan of boring early 2000's peace-peace-love-love boybands. I don't know what they're singing about but it feels like it's been done a hundred times before so I'm already over it.

514th Place – "Say A Word" by Manuel Ortega (2002)

Oh geez, the early 2000's slaughter continues. This one is not as bad as the one before but it's not very good either. Very repetitive and just seems a bit desperate. Maybe she's just not into you Manuel, have you thought about that?

479th Place – "Weil Der Mensch Zählt" by Alf Poier (2003)

I honestly dragged this as far as I could lmao because I do not hate this at all. This is one of those songs that is really so bad that it's actually kind of good. I like it when it turns to the guitar riff thingy (idk what it's called) and the song actually makes me smile despite how awful it really is. #sorrynotsorry

463rd Place – "The Secret Is Love" by Nadine Beiler (2011)

Uhh, well. Here the problem is maybe not as much the song itself as it is the lyrics. These lyrics are just Grade-A cheese to be honest. This topic has been overdone so long ago and it just kind of feels like a dated Disney song (and not in the good way like Ukraine did in 2013). She's a good singer though.

412th Place – "Get A Life - Get Alive" by Eric Papilaya (2007)

I'm honestly surprised (and a bit confused) by how many songs contain the phrase "get a life" in the title (in some way or the other): there's 3 of them. Andorra in 2009, Austria in 2007 and finally Montenegro in 2009 (Get out of my life actually, but still similar). I for some reason always mix these songs in my head, and for good reason because all of them are terribly mediocre and generic.

384th Place – "All To You" by The Rounder Girls (2000)

Here we have the Pointer Sisters-- err, Rounder Girls, from Netherlands with their could've-been-a-80's-hit "All To You". This feels dated, even by 2000 standards but it's still kind of fun. They just like being on the stage, which is nice to see.

367th Place – "Shine" by Natália Kelly (2013)

This was originally going to be a lot lower because there are so many "Shine" songs I keep mixing them all up. Upon re-watch I changed my mind and brought it up into the mid-300s where it shall stay. Natália is a nice singer and the song is good, but there have been better songs under that same name.

321st Place – "I Am Yours" by The Makemakes (2015)

Here, the Austrians are finally kicking it up a notch and I think we can all agree this definitely did not deserve the nil points it got in 2015. (Neither did Germany tbf) The singer reminds me a bit of James Bay, but his sound reminds me of something else entirely that I just can't put my finger on. This is a very nice song indeed and we've definitely reached the quality portion of Austrian entries by this point.

299th Place – "Loin d'ici" by Zoë (2016)

Aww, this is probably going to ruffle some feathers. I did enjoy Zoë on the stage and she looks like a very nice person which kind of helped her performance in this ranking (not gonna lie). The song is cute but not very much more than that. I'm still a bit surprised that she qualified and then went on to place 13th in the final because really screams "DNQ" for me even though I do like it. I'm glad she did though because she did deserve it.

Austrian Qualifiers · 2 out of 12

• "Rise Like A Phoenix" by Conchita Wurst (2014)
• "Woki Mit Deim Popo" by Trackshittaz (2012)

Oh geez that's not a very good record is it? Only two songs out of the 12 they have presented made the final, and I'm guessing one of them is probably a big shocked to you guys. Conchita was obvious, but Trackshittaz - the absolutely last song in the 2012 contest - probably would have left a long time ago for most of you. Not for me though, this one sailed through easily just like Conchita did.

Posted by: AdamAloud 21st May 2016, 12:26 PM

Amazed you managed to compile a list of such magnitude! Whenever I try to do my rankings I'm constantly changing my mind whilst doing it!

I totally agree with your analysis of Alf Poier. A classic 'so bad it's good' Eurovision song.

Posted by: Iz~ 21st May 2016, 12:32 PM

Very much on board with your Austrian and Armenian picks, I genuinely love Trackshittaz.

Although I do have a bit of a soft spot for Boom Boom, it's objectively awful but it's just a bit enjoyable anyway.

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 21st May 2016, 01:56 PM

Thanks for the feedback guys! Iz, I'm psyched there's actually another Trackshittaz fan here! Me and my group of friends listened to it a lot back in 2012 tbh and I was sad that it didn't qualify

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 21st May 2016, 02:11 PM

Just like Armenia, Azerbaijan have sent so many amazing songs throughout their history in Eurovision that it's no wonder they have never failed to qualify into the final. It is however surprising to many that they managed to win Eurovision in 2011 with such a mediocre song, but lbr 2011 was a really mediocre contest so I for one was fine with them winning. I'm not gonna lie, there's not many songs that will be eliminated in this batch because Azerbaijan have consistently released very solid songs, so it's no shock that Azerbaijan places 15th out of 48 countries on my list.

460th Place – "Day After Day" by Elnur and Samir (2008)

The first Azeri entry to fall doesn't do so until almost 150 songs have been eliminated which I have to admit is very impressive. This song however is the only entry of theirs that doesn't click with me at all. The wannabe Axl Rose thing is tired and the song leaves absolutely no lasting impression with me. Easily their worst entry yet.

306th Place – "Start A Fire" by Dilara Kazimova (2014)

This is something totally different from the previous eliminee. Dilara has a beautiful voice and the song really is touching but there's just something missing. I do somewhat regret not having let this one slide into the Top 250 now that I'm thinking about it but I did eliminate it for a reason so here it must stay.

Azerbaijani Qualifiers · 7 out of 9

• "Always" by Aysel and Arash (2009)
• "Drip Drop" by Safura (2010)
• "Hold Me" by Farid Mammadov (2013)
• "Hour of the Wolf" by Elnur Hüseynov (2015)
• "Miracle" by Samra (2016)
• "Running Scared" by Ell and Nikki (2011)
• "When the Music Dies" by Sabina Babayeva (2012)

A very impressive resume indeed, though many of these songs will be among the first 100 songs to fall in the Top 250. Azerbaijan know what they need to do to do well in this contest and it somewhat seems like they have absolutely studied the formula.. or just borrowed some Swedish songwriters every now and then. Whatever they're doing, it works.

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 21st May 2016, 03:29 PM

Belarus is a country I was very surprised to realize how many songs I actually enjoyed throughout the years of their Eurovision history. Belarus joined the contest in 2004, the inauguration year of the semi finals, and has since qualified a grand total of 4 times. Wow. I honestly expected that number to be higher. Anyway they managed 6th place in 2007 which is so far their only time in the Top 10. Despite boasting many great entries they also have one absolutely dreadful and cringeworthy entry which is deadset on last place on Belarus' ranking. Thanks to some strong upper region entries, Belarus manages to place 18th out of 48 countries on this ranking.

540th – "Butterflies" by 3+2 featuring Robert Wells (2010)

This is pretty much everything that I dislike in a Eurovision entry. It feels like this whole performance was either made by a 10 year old or for a 10 year old, and since I'm not very fond of kids I instantly dislike it. Easily Belarus' worst entry yet.

466th – "Hasta La Vista" by Ruslan Alekhno (2008)

Rather inoffensive, but maybe that's exactly why it places so low. It's just a little bit too generic and been done before many times before in much better fashion. Very forgettable.

427th – "Eyes That Never Lie" by Petr Elfimov (2009)

Uhh, so I listened to this like maybe an hour ago and I really can't recall how it goes.

423rd – "Mum" by Polina Smolova (2006)

Lmao not gonna lie I used to love this song in 2006 and was seriously shocked that she didn't qualify. I was 16 and dumb so when I watched it again I was not even remotely surprised. Her vocals were very spotty but the song is somewhat fun though, but I'll just stick with the studio version thx.

337th – "We Are The Heroes" by Litesound (2012)

This one faded a bit in the group of amazing songs that were presented to us in 2012, but it's good enough for a Top 400 spot. The lyrics have been overdone to death but it feels somewhat fresh nontheless. Måns did it better though.

334th – "My Galileo" by Aleksandra and Konstantin (2004)

Lol this is one of those songs that is really just so weird but I like it anyway. Aleksandra has a weird goat-like voice but the song is still fun. My friends watched the recap of 2004 with me the other day and were like "uhh wtf is that?" lmao but I still like it. Weird and fun, great combo.

255th – "Help You Fly" by Ivan (2016)

Last but not least for today we have the most recent belarusian entry. Ivan was thankfully not naked on stage but instead brought to us a nice CGI show which I personally liked. I was a bit sad that Ivan didn't qualify but the quality of songs this year was so good it's really no surprise. I'm sure he would have qualified in almost any other year though, even though it was far from being a fan favorite lol.

Belarusian Qualifiers · 6 out of 13

• "Cheesecake" by Teo (2014)
• "I Love Belarus" by Anastasia Vinnikova (2011)
• "Love Me Tonight" by Angelica Agurbash (2005)
• "Solayoh" by Alyona Lanskaya (2013)
• "Time" by Uzari and Maimuna (2015)
• "Work Your Magic" by Dmitry Koldun (2007)

Surprisingly and against all odds Belarus gets six qualifiers through into the Top 250. Here we have three non-qualifiers and three qualifiers of their respective years. Two of these songs get through thanks almost solely to their studio versions, while some get through based on brilliant live performance. One of them is just absolutely brilliant in general and easily makes it the furthest out of this group.

Posted by: 💯 21st May 2016, 03:55 PM

I was quite a fan as well. Such fun

Omg 21 guests here. Thread slayage right there *.*

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 23rd May 2016, 08:43 PM

Belgium is another country I'm a bit conflicted with. They have sent some terrible songs into the contest but they have also sent some amazing songs. They have rarely sent songs that straddle the line, though it has happened. Those great songs that they have sent include a very robbed song by a european sensation, a beautiful traditional song in a language I do not know and a great performance by Ramsay Snow in last year's competition. All of these overshadow the creepy and just plain weird stuff they have sent since 2000, which is why Belgium manages to rank 12th out of 48 songs on my country list, which is a lot higher than I would have expected it to rank honestly.

615th – "Mother" by Axel Hirsoux (2014)

I'm afraid I cannot even express it with words how terrible this song is but I think its' fourth-to-last placement says more than enough. "Mother" is a very creepy song and I really don't understand what Belgium was thinking when they sent this as their entry two years ago. Although Axel sings very well there is just something about this song that I absolutely despise. It kind of feels like a song Principal Skinner would sing about his mom. Did not work at all and thankfully Europe agreed with me as it didn't qualify.

601st – "With Love Baby" by Witloof Bay (2011)

This is another song that I can understand that maybe looks good on paper – using only their vocals, funny name etc – but this feels like they just wayyyy overshot their mark. It's so corny and I really don't understand what their target audience is. The song is incredibly lacking and they just look really silly on stage. PASS.

556th – "Le Grand Soir" by Nuno Resende (2005)

What is it with this borefest? Dear god I almost fell asleep.

555th – "O Julissi" by Ishtar (2008)

Lmao are you serious Belgium? What is this even. I cannot for the life of me believe you actually intended to qualify with this mess.

549th – "Love Power" by The KMG's (2007)

Yup, we're still in the bottom 100 countries where Belgium has FIVE entries so far. This feels incredibly dated but still fails to bring any 70's nostalgia with it. (which I'm guessing is what they were aiming for).

534th – "Envie de Vivre" by Nathalie Sorce (2000)

Okay this is the final Belgian entry in the 500s and even though the song itself is maybe quite ok, that live performance was disastrous. Nathalie barely hits any notes and just sounds a bit screechy. So sorry mawma, this is as far as you can go.

495th – "Copycat" by Patrick Ouchène aka. Copycat (2009)

Uhh, somehow enough people felt like this was a good idea that it was actually carried out. Unpopular opinion time: I'm not an Elvis fan (not an Elvis hater either just to be clear). Therefore I am not an Elvis lookalike fan either.

491st – "Would You?" by Iris (2012)

This is perhaps the first song that isn't absolutely dreadful so far, but that's not really saying much as it's still awfully boring and uneventful. Iris is a decent singer but whoever wrote this song should not be proud. You can do better.

457th – "Sister" by Sergio and the Ladies (2002)

We started off eliminating "mother" and now we're cutting off "sister". Is there any particular reason Belgium keeps naming family members in their songs? This is far superior to the first cut though, but that's not really saying much. Sister is a rather typical 2002 entry. That's not a compliment.

Belgian Qualifiers · 7 out of 16

• "Je t'adore" by Kate Ryan (2006)
• "Love Kills" by Roberto Bellarosa (2013)
• "Me and My Guitar" by Tom Dice (2010)
• "Rhythm Inside" by Loïc Nottet (2015)
• "Sanomi" by Urban Trad (2003)
• "What's The Pressure?" by Laura Tesoro (2016)
• "1 Life" by Xandee (2004)

A lot of very good songs in this bunch. We have only one song here that failed to make the final, which is infamous for being one of the most robbed semi final DNQ's to date. Four of these songs made the top 10, with one of them even challenging the winner in 2003. It was close but not quite enough for Urban Trad to take the crown unfortunately. Overall a very great bunch, but one of these songs actually just barely made the Top 250 *SHOCK*

Posted by: gooddelta 23rd May 2016, 09:16 PM

Mother, With Love Baby and Copycat are all down there in my 10 worst entries of this century. Belgium are often completely hopeless and awful but admittedly they've got it right a few times in the last few years. I like all 7 of the entries you have remaining from Belgium plus Ishtar (!) and Iris but the rest are completely crap.

Posted by: Iz~ 23rd May 2016, 09:55 PM

Belgium is my #1 enemy of the 2010s, their objectively awful lot as well as me disliking Rhythm Inside and (up until its final performance) What's The Pressure, it's pretty much only Love Kills of recent times that I've enjoyed. But Sanomi is up there in my ultimate favourites so at least that's through for you.

Belarus, my favourite is Butterflies I can see why people would hate it though, I only like it because it's quite uplifting.

Posted by: LexC 23rd May 2016, 10:15 PM

'Mother' makes me physically ill to this day. To think that some people were calling it a potential winner because the Sunday after Eurovision was Mother's Day in a lot of European countries. FLUSH!

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 23rd May 2016, 10:21 PM

Hahaha glad I'm not alone in hating on 'Mother'. Was afraid I'd possibly have someone defending it here lmao!

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 23rd May 2016, 10:25 PM

Bosnia and Herzegovina is definitely not one of my favorite countries, though they have released some amazing songs in the contest. Generally they are near the middle or bottom of my rankings but mostly just because they've sent out a lot of very mediocre songs, but still they have only failed to make the final once – this year. I don't necessarily think it has to be a language thing because one of their absolute best is sung in bosnian, while another is sung in (mostly) english so they definitely can do it, it's just that most of their stuff is cheesier than a margarita pizza. All of this contributes to the fact that BiH place no higher than 23rd out of 48 countries.

561st – "Hano" by Nino Pršeš (2001)

Okay lbr this is a piece of garbage. Even by 2001 standards. Sometimes these countries pick songs that just make you go: did you really just put minimal effort into picking that song? I mean the guy hardly even sings, he's just kind of hum-singing the song and sounds a bit like he's still testing his absolute limits in singing.

542nd – "Ne Brini" by Mija Martina (2003)

Lol I'm so rough on these early 2000's entries. This isn't quite as appalling as 'Hano' but this is no prize winner either. Very repetitive and gets old real fast.

477th – "Na Jastuku Za Dvoje" by Maja Tatić (2002)

Fun fact: this sounds a bit like a icelandic 80s pop song, except sung in gibberish. That's not a good thing. It's funny, but it's not very good. Guilty pleasure at best, but it still even feels terribly dated for 2002 lol. Maybe would have made sense in '92.

461st – "Thunder and Lightning" by Vukašin Brajić (2010)

Oh geez, this is just terribly overdone. Somehow this qualified in 2010 over Anna Bergendahl, which is a scandal. Yes I know Anna was in a different semi but still. They should have swapped ffs. This is terribly dated and unexciting (is that a word?) and that thing he does with his legs bugs the f**k out of me for some reason I can't figure out.

429th – "Pokušaj" by Laka (2008)

Uhh, I'm not quite sure why (and I think some people might feel the same way) but I used to love this song. I actually kind of rooted for it back in 2008 because it was quirky and different but now when I watch I'm just really confused about what in the world could have intrigued me about this mess. Not the worst BiH has produced but definitely not the best either. Mostly just plain weird.

420th – "Rijeka Bez Imena" by Marija Šestić (2007)

This song fell a bit down from its' initial position because when I listened to it again I realized that practically nothing happens in this song. Marija has a nice enough voice but it's nothing spectacular and the song really doesn't go anywhere. My memory tricked me into thinking it was actually an interesting entry until I listened to it again. Shame.

401st – "Ljubav Je" by Dalal and Deen featuring Ana Rucner and Jala (2016)

One thing should be made absolutely clear: Deen is a bosnian treasure. His debut in 2004 is hilarious and an absolute masterpiece. This however does not reach the same heights unfortunately. 'Ljubav Je' is cute and the vocals are pretty much on point but we've heard it all before and so much better. Initially I rooted for this (among a few others), but that was before all the actually good entries were revealed and this just paled in comparison. But let's get one thing straight: Dalal is a kick-ass singer and Deen looks so different from how he looked in 2004. That rap tho.. lmao wtf?

353rd – "Bistra Voda" by Regina (2009)

I don't remember a lot about this song but it's a cool traditional sounding song. When I was looking it up I was totally expecting this to be sung be a solo female but Regina is actually a rock band with only men lol. The song placed 9th which is a bit excessive in my opinion as the song isn't really that good but I feel that it definitely at least deserved to qualify.. even though it totally didn't in my personal version of the contest lol oops.

Bosnian and Herzegovinan Qualifiers · 4 out of 13

• "Call Me" by Feminnem (2005)
• "In The Disco" by Deen (2004)
• "Lejla" by Hari Mata Hari (2006)
• "Love In Rewind" by Dino Merlin (2011)

There we have it, only four of BiH's songs make it to the next stage, including: a girl group that later reappeared for another country, a beautiful love song by a returning act from 1999, and Bosnia & Herzegovina's best result yet in an absolutely beautiful traditional song sung in bosnian. Then of course there's Deen. l0l.

Posted by: AdamAloud 24th May 2016, 11:32 AM

'In The Disco' qualifying *.*

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 25th May 2016, 10:41 AM

Bulgaria is a country that has somewhat surprised me. They had never really sent a solid, perfect pop song until this year and were always rather much in the middle of the road for me. Most of their songs are good but maybe not *that* good. They have really only failed horribly twice and both times they sent the same abysmal duo although their second time was a little bit better than the first. Bulgaria's track record is however not great, and that's why they place 40th out of 48 on my big country list.

618th – "Water" by Elitsa and Stoyan (2007)

In the absolutely last place out of all the songs in the contest we have this "song" if you can call it that. I'm absolutely baffled that this managed 5th place even if 2007 is one of the worst years in ESC history (in my opinion). There is absolutely no melody and Elitsa's shrill voice irritates me to no end. It's almost like a little kid won the chance to design a Eurovision entry and submitted their choice but the Bulgarian ESC officials thought "nah we can do worse than that" so they brought in a tonedeaf woman and some rando on drums. This song having gotten 157 points is just ridiculous. The only thing that could be more ridiculous was if for some reason they'd decide to bring these numbnuts back..

617th – "Samo Shampioni" by Elitsa and Stoyan (2013)

..which they totally did. As if ruining one contest wasn't enough, Elitsa and Stoyan thought they'd try it again in 2013 but thankfully they failed even though they came dangerously close in 12th place in their semi. I'm glad things aren't quite as bleak as they used to be.

594th – "Lorraine" by Kaffe (2005)

When Bulgaria first decided to join the competition in 2005 they sent in this borefest which rightfully failed to qualify by a mile.

390th – "DJ, Take Me Away" by Deep Zone and Balthazar (2008)

Then we suddenly take a 200 song jump into the Top 400 where we're greeted by a rather cool technobeat song. The problem with this track though is that it's painfully repetitive and gets old really, really quick. Like I literally got tired of it while I was still listening to it for the first time in ages.

364th – "Na Inat" by Poli Genova (2011)

Omg next up is the kween Poli Genova who reappeared out of nowhere this year and literally slayed the competition into pieces. Well, most of it. Her 2011 entry is cute and fun but definitely no winning material, but I love her energy and I do like the song even though I don't understand a word she's saying.

352nd – "Illusion" by Krassimir Avramov (2009)

Oh lol I have a feeling not many people will necessarily agree with my placement of this song. The vocals are pretty spotty but I like the melody and the studio version made it hard for me to bring this any further down. The back-up singers aren't very great but again what saves this is the studio version. Krassimir has a rather impressive vocal range as well.

333rd – "Angel Si Ti" by Miro (2010)

This one surprised me a bit upon rewatch because I honestly liked it a lot more than I thought I would. It's an energetic song and so totally Eurovision lmao. Miro has a nice voice though it kind of needs a little bit of help here and there but man this definitely should have placed higher than 15th in the semi it was in. Sounds kind of like something I would have listened to post-Eurovision back in 2007 or 2008. That outfit is horrendous though and the choreography is pretty hilar.

Bulgarian Qualifiers · 3 out of 10

• "If Love Was A Crime" by Poli Genova (2016)
• "Let Me Cry" by Mariana Popova (2006)
• "Love Unlimited" by Sofi Marinova (2012)

Three lovely female singers qualified for Bulgaria, although one of those songs isn't really all that good but the singer is just the absolutely funniest person to have competed in Eurovision in a long time so I couldn't get myself to cut that song before the Top 250. One of these songs goes much further than the other two and I think if you look at this short list it won't take you long to figure out which one that is.

Posted by: AdamAloud 25th May 2016, 11:10 AM

Each to their own and all I know, but this 'Water' hate must stop now!!

Posted by: gooddelta 25th May 2016, 11:12 AM

I still love Water

The melody on the track isn't super obvious but there is one there because the vocal hook quite often gets stuck in my head (despite me not being able to speak a word of Bulgarian, well...apart from day mi lyubovta *.*). I think it came 5th because it was so different and refreshing and just completely stood out. The drum beat was also very reminiscent of Safri Duo, which I loved.

Posted by: Iz~ 25th May 2016, 12:30 PM

Ah. Water, I find it really ethereal and different and addictive, absolutely love it, and it took a very very strong song this year to overtake it as my Bulgarian favourite. Not what I'd have called for your last place but you have explained it well.

I do love Bulgaria quite a lot, more than I should given their track record in the contest and it's mainly down to Poli and Elitsa & Stoyan (and Sofi of course).

Posted by: 💯 25th May 2016, 03:22 PM

In the Water love camp as well here One of my favorite Eurovision songs of all time.

Posted by: Robot 25th May 2016, 03:34 PM

Well, you've got me for back up at least, I loathe Suus and I dislike Water (although not to the extent of you but still!)

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 25th May 2016, 08:05 PM

Hahaha sorry to disappoint you guys with my 'Water' hate then. I wish I could see why other people would like it but I really don't, but that being said of course I respect all of your opinions. I'm just glad Robot is on my side with this.

Croatia coming up next.

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 25th May 2016, 08:10 PM

Alright onto a country that has been taking part in the contest for a relatively long time. Croatia first joined in 1993 and has since only missed out on the challenge in 2014 and 2015. They have brought us some very interesting traditional flavored pop songs which they usually sing in the native language Croatian. This includes a song that could have been sung by an early 2000s Britney Spears if she was croatian. Unfortunately Croatia has failed to reach the Top since 2001, but that might have something to do with the quality of both recent entries as well as the apparent lack of quality in many of the Croatian entries. This all contributes to why Croatia only places 34th out of 48 on my country list.

608th – "Kad Zaspu Andeli" by Goran Karan (2000)

As with most of the early cuts this song just completely bored me to death. This is actually Croatia's best performance in the last 17 years, placing 9th. I must confess I really don't get it but then again the quality of songs in this contest wasn't all that impressive.

591st – "Vjerujem U Ljubav" by Dragonfly featuring Dado Topić (2007)

Oh wow another generic rock-ish performance for 2007. Although there is something that could possibly work here it kind of doesn't. Already bored of this.

525th – "Nebo" by Nina Badrić (2012)

Although her singing is pretty good the song is an absolute borefest. I fast forwarded into it to try and remember which song this is and I don't remember even having seen this in Baku. Not at all surprising that this failed to qualify as it's so bloody forgettable.

521st – "Mižerja" by Klapa s Mora (2013)

Should feel relatively epic but doesn't quite work for me. I feel like this is maybe even 10 spots too high upon second listen, but there's really nothing to be done about that now. This has been done many times before and has pretty much always been way more interesting than this sausage fest. Doesn't really go anywhere.

518th – "Romanca" by Kraljevi Ulice and 75 Cents (2008)

Some novelty acts totally work, but unsurprisingly this is not one of those. Although the song is interesting and the chorus almost captivates me, the songs in total just fails to leave a lasting impression. In an earlier contest this would have worked but it feels kind of dated by Croatian standard. 4th to last for Croatia should be considered a success though.

482nd – "Celebrate" by Daria (2011)

Honestly, on paper this should totally work for me. But the song is just so terribly generic and Daria's vocals are really not all that great. I mean they aren't necessarily bad but they're not impressive either. The song is just the dictionary definition of generic though. Lol at that wardrobe change though. Pretty random but it does catch your eye if you aren't terribly bored of the song yet.

409th – "Vukovi Umiru Sami" by Boris Novković featuring Lado (2005)

Let's be absolutely clear here, this would probably be a lot lower if it weren't for that ridiculously enthusiastic drummer lmfao. The song is alright and kind of works that cool traditional angle but I feel like they could have done something just a little bit more. Boris obviously doesn't have the best vocal range but the song doesn't really require that. Quite alright, but nothing spectacular. Sounds a bit like an icelandic folk song sung in croatian to be honest lmao. Can't quite place which one though.

408th – "Strings of My Heart" by Vanna (2001)

Now we have the last time Croatia placed inside the Top 10 and while this is very low for a top 10 entry it's not at all surprising given the quality of the 2001 contest (I know I keep going on about that, it's just very hard for me not to lol). Vanna is cute and performs the song relatively well but the problem is just that the song isn't anything to call home about. It's a cute pop song but definitely does not stay in my mind for long after I listen to it. Feels a bit like a rejected Disney song. Also although that violin solo is cool it feels incredibly out of place in the song.

323rd – "You Are The Only One" by Ivan Mikulić (2004)

This one kind of surprised me with how well it stuck in my mind after I listened to it in preparation for this list. This really defies the odds and feels kind of epic although Ivan doesn't quite nail all the notes. Actually rather surprised this didn't go any higher than 12th place as I would have expected the balkan countries to really eat this up like they often do with songs like this (see BiH 2006, Serbia & Montenegro 2004). Quite nice but no sugar or spice.

318th – "Lijepa Tena" by Igor Cukrov featuring Andrea Šušnjara (2009)

Okay now you're getting it Croatia. This is what I want when I say "traditional". Or, well, something along these lines. While the song does kind of drag on I feel like Andrea completely saves the song from falling into insignificance forever. Igor has some rather awkward hand movements on stage but he's kind of cute so he's forgiven. I feel kind of bad about cutting this so early honestly.

266th – "Lako Je Sve" by Feminnem (2010)

Aww this one got eliminated just before the Top 250 and it was actually really hard for me to let this one go as I really wanted to keep it longer but it just had to be done. Feminnem actually have one song in my Top 250 with their first entry 'Call Me', which they performed for Bosnia & Herzegovina in 2005. The girls have really great vocals and I remember I was shocked that this didn't qualify in 2010, but then again that was the year of many surprises qualification wise. The song is beautiful but the main reason I cut it here is because although it kind of works it still feels like something's really missing and I wouldn't have felt right about keeping it any longer.

Croatian Qualifiers · 4 out of 15

• "Everything I Want" by Vesna Pisarović (2002)
• "Lighthouse" by Nina Kraljić (2016)
• "Moja štikla" by Severina (2006)
• "Vise Nisam Tvoja" by Claudia Beni (2003)

Well, as you can see this track record is nothing to be too proud of. Only four songs qualify out of a total of 15, meaning I eliminated some 11 songs just now. Here we have a little bit of everything even though all of the qualifiers are of the same gender. We have yet another 2016 entry (which in my opinion is one of the best years to date), a hilarious entry that I'm not entirely sure if it's intended as a joke or not, and two pretty songs which both fall into the typical early 2000's eurovision song category, but definitely done right.

Posted by: gooddelta 25th May 2016, 09:28 PM

Great Croatian choices, that pair from 2002-3 were great and should have done much better in the contest. And Severina <3

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 26th May 2016, 08:46 PM

Cyprus is one of those countries I was really surprised about the lack of quality in their entries throughout the years. I honestly thought Cyprus was somewhat on par with Greece but apparently not quite. They have had a couple of mediocre entries and some just plain bad. In fact, in my personal version of the contests they only qualified 4 times since 2004. They have brought us some very forgettable songs and this is the first country where I had to be almost completely dependent on rewatches in order to write something about these songs as hardly any of them are songs I could recall just by looking at the name of the songs. Cyprus places 30th out of 48 countries on my list.

581st – "San Aggelos S'Agapisa" by Christos Mylordos (2011)

OH DEAR GOD PLEASE STOP. That thing they're doing with their legs is literally giving me cringe-chills. It's the kind of thing Eurovision is known for what with an act doing something that they honestly think people are gonna go apeshit over because it's just ~OMG SO COOL~ but in reality it's just silly as hell. I mean this song probably wouldn't be so far down if it weren't for this cringefest. But then again the song is also pretty bad, the performance just kind of adds to that.

579th – "One Thing I Should Have Done" by Giannis Karagiannis (2015)

Ugh this is so boring I just can't. Feels like something commercial radio would have eaten up like cocaine in 1991. Like seriously, nothing happens in this song. Nothing at all.

574th – "Femme Fatale" by Evdokia Kadí (2008)

Lmao for some reason I had this a lot higher on my tentative list but upon rewatch I had a billion questions for myself such as "what the hell?" Now, that question kind of applies both to my decision to originally place it so much higher and it's also the question I'd like to ask Evdokia about that performance. This is such a strange entry I'm just at a loss of words because I'm not sure what I just watched and whether I should be offended that I actually spent 3 minutes on that more than once.

571st – "Nomiza" by Voice (2000)

Lol this is just plain bad and terribly cheesy. I'd do fine without having to listen to this mess again.

528th – "Why Angels Cry" by Annet Artani (2006)

Wow Cyprus you really aren't kidding with these terrible song choices are you? For this one at least you've got a decent singer but the song is an absolute borefest and a huge downer. Pretty glad this one didn't qualify to break down any festive mood there was at my Eurovision party.

493rd – "Firefly" by Christina Metaxa (2009)

Well, this is a song that has at least some redeeming qualities but the singer is just so visibly nervous that it really ruins the song for me. This would probably a lot higher if she delivered a solid performance, but since she didn't this is where I'll leave Christina. Also the song takes like 2 minutes to start wtf.

464th – "An Me Thimase" by Despina Olympiou (2013)

Well, we've got yet another great vocalist with a boring ballad. But it's got a little bit of edge on most of these boring ballads. Despina has a good voice and she looks a bit fierce on stage. Her voice kinda sounds like she's reaching its' absolute limits though, and I'll be honest I don't remember this song at all.

436th – "Alter Ego" by Minus One (2016)

Oh jeez I'm totally expecting this one to not quite go down so easy with everyone but it is what it is. First things first: this is like a carbon copy of 'Somebody Told Me' by The Killers and that annoys me to no end. Secondly I know people have praised the camerawork for this performance but for me it was one of the weirdest things of the contest. Like that super zoom is so infinitely creepy lmao. I would have preferred this to not qualify from the semi but I was definitely expecting it to do so anyway.

404th – "Feeling Alive" by Stelios Constantas (2003)

Lol this is kind of like some tropical 1999 hit or something but performed by a not-so-talented singer. Stelios looks a bit like he'd much rather be somewhere else during this performance, and the lyrics are in typical Eurovision fashion very cringeworthy and repetitive. He keeps saying he's feeling alive but I'm not quite buying it you guys. I'm pretty sure if he was connected to a heart monitor he'd be close to flatlining any minute out of sheer boredom.

397th – "Life Looks Better In Spring" by Jon Lilygreen and The Islanders (2010)

This is a song that I actually kind of hated back in 2010 but as I listen to it again I feel like I may have misjudged it a bit. Now don't get me wrong it's no favorite of mine, but it's got a nice melody and Jon has a nice voice. It's definitely a bit dated though, and feels like something that Ireland would send (and win with) about 10 to 15 years earlier. I still don't quite get how life is better in spring though. What's up with this autumn-phobia Jonny?

339th – "Gimme" by One (2002)

LOL discount Cypriot Backstreet Boys anyone? Wow this is so hilariously bad that I can't help but enjoy it for all the wrong reasons. It's kind of catchy but the lyrics don't make even an ounce of sense. There are so many weird parts in that song but it's just so funny I really can't hate it. It's like when something is so bad that it goes all the way around and becomes good again lmao. Also WTF at that final part hahahaha they're all going mad! I just can't, I'm crying now.

258th – "Stronger Every Minute" by Lisa Andreas (2004)

Uhhh I'm so conflicted about this song. It's a beautiful ballad sung by a very talented girl but as tends to happen with ballads, they often bore me to death. This one does pretty much just that but it's hard to place it any lower than this because I feel like it's one of those early 2000s classic songs. I remember this very well from when it was performed and I remember thinking it would do very well.. which indeed it did. Placing 5th in the final was not a huge surprise because this is exactly the kind of song that does well in an early 2000's contest.

Cypriot Qualifiers · 3 out of 15

• "Comme ci, Comme ça" by Evridiki (2007)
• "Ela Ela (Come Baby)" by Constantinos Christoforou (2005)
• "La La Love" by Ivi Adamou (2012)

Only 3 songs out of 15 qualify for Cyprus which I think is the worst result so far for any country based on fatalities. But out of those that qualify we have 3 very strong contenders, all of them very different. We have a huge electro-rock/pop number which was infamously robbed for a place in the final of one of the worst (in my opinion) contests of the 2000s. We have a traditional-tinged male song which I always used to think was by a Greek artist lol. Finally we have one of the biggest european radio hits of the 2010s for a non-winner which was definitely surprising given its' placement in the actual contest.

Posted by: Iz~ 26th May 2016, 09:21 PM

I have similar feelings about Stronger Every Minute, it's never really stood out as a song to me and isn't all that interesting but I feel its reputation (as well as a killer title for a success story from a country that doesn't normally do that well) helps it along more than normal.

3 pretty decent Cypriot qualifiers, I think I'm the main fan of Alter Ego here, what with it being one of my favourite Eurovision songs of the 2010s already, I wasn't expecting it to get into your top 250 though

Posted by: Ryan. 26th May 2016, 11:04 PM

Firefly is so gorgeous and remains in my all time top 10 Eurovision entries. Admittedly Christina struggled to deliver it live but her improvement from the national final performance to the Eurovision performance was massive and I think her nervousness added to the charm of the song in the end. Beautiful song and the studio version really is a hidden gem! And Christina's presentation of the 2010 votes live from Larnaca International Airport will always remain iconic.

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 27th May 2016, 08:06 PM

Well it's kind of hard to rank Czech Republic amongst the other countries since, like Australia, they've only competed a limited number of times. Debuting in 2007 they competed for 3 years straight before dropping out until 2015. As you might all know this year was the very first year that the Czech Republic qualified into the final and unfortunately for them they got nil points in the televoting despite getting some 41 points in the jury voting. I can't say that this qualification record surprises me since on my personal list they actually rank 45th out of 48 countries, but hey at least they're not last!

602nd – "Malá Dáma" by Kabát (2007)

Ahh the curse of the debut song. The Czech nation first entered our Eurovision hearts with this song in 2007. Unfortunately this kind of set the tone for them in the contest for a while because this song is absolutely dreadful in every meaning of the world. This kind of shouty-rock is possibly my very least form of music there is. It literally massages my irritation nerves until I just have to shut it off because otherwise I'll just get irrationally pissed that we have to have music like this in our wonderfully wide musical spectrum.

530th – "Aven Romale" by Gypzy.cz (2009)

Uhhh. What? Okay I love myself a great parody song, but man this one does not work. It's kind of all over the place and whatever the joke is I'm missing it by far. In fact the singer is just rather annoying on that stage and I'm kind of hoping for him to mess up because that would be pretty much the only enjoyment I could get out of this performance.

522nd – "Have Some Fun" by Tereza Kerndlová (2008)

Well, in 2008 they kind of got the memo that beautiful girls in skimpy outfits brought in the votes so they did just that with a very tonedeaf singer. Oof. Mark missed big time. Poor Tereza doesn't quite manage to stay in key during pretty much all of the song, and her backing vocals are just as bad if not worse. Also she's really short of breath during the duration of the song which is reeally not a good look. The song is typical mindless Eurovision BS that is really not about anything so I wouldn't go on quoting it in your yearbooks.

286th – "Hope Never Dies" by Marta Jandová and Václav Noid Bárta (2015)

Big jump for the next Czech entry to fall and now we've reached their second most recent entry in the competition. They have finally gotten the hint about what is and what isn't acceptable in Eurovision. They sent a beautiful ballad with two great vocalists who work very well together. This one definitely deserved to make it into the final out of all they had produced by then. I love Václav's rough voice and Marta has a great clean voice as well and hits all those notes perfectly! The only thing that keeps them out of the Top 250 is the fact that it's been done so many times before and the forgettability of this song is rather high for me as I had to listen to it again just to remember how it goes which is bad for a Top 300 entry.

CzechQualifiers · 1 out of 5

• "I Stand" by Gabriela Gunčíková (2016)

1 song out of the 5 they've presented us with thus far makes it through. It was kind of to be expected for the casualty rate to be high here but rest assured there was no danger of 'I Stand' not making it through and Gabriela so did not deserve to be a nil pointer this year with such a beautiful ballad and that magnificent vocal range.

Posted by: gooddelta 27th May 2016, 08:40 PM

The first leaked version of Have Some Fun was a great early Britney-esque pop song but the Eurovision version, which sounded like something that would come last in a 1994 Turkish national final, was crap.

Posted by: Iz~ 27th May 2016, 08:47 PM

Yeah I think I'd go so far as to say Have Some Fun would be right down there at the bottom if I did a list like this. That's the Czech horror for me, not the other two from their first three, both of which I enjoy to a sensible extent.

Trying to think which 3 countries will be worse than the Czechs, I have a couple of ideas - their latest two entries have probably dragged them up the list a bit for many people.

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 27th May 2016, 09:12 PM

Updated list l8er.

Posted by: Alex! 27th May 2016, 10:41 PM

I loved 'Have some fun'

Really enjoying this list! excited to see how the top 250 goes!

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 27th May 2016, 11:26 PM

Ahh, here comes the first nordic entry! This is of course going to be a big one for me since I am from a nordic country myself and I cannot promise to not be biased towards my nordic brothers because Icelandic radio absolutely hammers the songs of our nordic cousins like crazy both before, during and after Eurovision. There will of course be some casualties but the lowest placer is not quite as low as you might expect. Generally Denmark sends cool songs although this country sound they've gone with so many times is getting a little bit old. Denmark places 11th out of 48 countries just missing out of the Top 10, but at least it's not in last place for the nordics.

426th – "Drama Queen" by DQ (2007)

In the danish last place is the song for which year? Well of course it's this entry because 2007 was the year Eurovision sucked, as I've said numerous times in this rankdown. This isn't all bad though, and a little bit of fun but this was never going to qualify and I think everyone knows that. DQ is a fabulous drag queen though but unfortunately she was overshadowed by Eurovision's most fab drag queen ever that year so she got lost in the dust. Also those bad notes did you no favors. Yeesh.

381st – "All Night Long" by Simon Matthew (2008)

I guess the late 2000s were not a great time for Denmark in my books. This is, as far as I know, a fan favorite and I mean I totally get it – it's a catchy tune but come on this has been overdone so many times outside of Eurovision. As I've touched down on before I'm not a big fan of country in Eurovision (Sorry DB) and since this was absolutely overplayed to bits on Icelandic radio I got so sick and tired of this song it's not even funny.

343rd – "Shame On You" by Tomas Thordarson (2004)

Originally this was a lot higher on my list. And when I say a lot higher I mean like Top 250 high. I went over the list and stopped at this song and was like, "hmm I can't really recall this one" so I listened to it again and I realized okay this isn't all bad but wow this is definitely not a Top 250 entry. That outfit is hilar and even though I don't remember this song at all from the actual contest it feels like something I've heard many times before but not in a good way. So really Thomas, the shame is all on you for sending this mediocre dung.

307th – "Tell Me Who You Are" by Malene Mortensen (2002)

Well, this is a song that falls a bit for the faults in the live version but originally climbs high thanks to a rather good studio version. One of the biggest faults is the fact that Malene tries to use her voice a bit more than she can handle, which just turns rather disastrous so I'm not completely shocked it ended up last in the contest, but lets be real that was definitely not the worst song in the 2002 edition.

290th – "Soldiers Of Love" by Lighthouse X (2016)

Oh look! It's discount danish Take That! Well this is definitely the stranges boyband I think I've seen in recent years. Although I do like the song quite a lot actually because it's a solid pop song, I feel like the live version was veeery messy to say the least. This definitely brings the song down from its initial Top 250 position. Also I find it very funny that the only guy I find sexually attractive in that band is possibly the absolutely worst out of the bunch. One of the trio is super pitchy during the chorus btw. #ShouldabeenSimone

268th – "Twist Of Love" by Sidsel Ben Semmane (2006)

I'm so conflicted about this song. I'm not a fan of this type of music but THIS IS JUST SO DAMN CATCHY! This is basically just a mixture of 50s hits mashed together and somehow it kind of totally works. This Selma 2.0 owns the stage and the song sticks in your head for a while afterwards even though it's so god damn simple. Denmark has obviously done way better but this is still fun and innocent, too bad she sent this in 2006 which was in my opinion probably the best year of the 2000s.

262nd – "New Tomorrow" by A Friend In London (2011)

Oh geez controversy time. This almost made the Top 250 but I just kind of cut it last minute because I kind of realized I've never really liked this song that much. I mean I get the appeal but it's just so vanilla. The singer is super good looking and I can appreciate his eye-f**king me/the camera all the time but that doesn't save the song unfortunately. I remember a friend of mine absolutely adored this song and played it nonstop back in '11 and I think that may have sealed the deal on this song for me lmao. Good song though, don't get me wrong. Just not as good as everyone seems to think. In my opinion at least.

Danish Qualifiers · 9 out of 16

• "Believe Again" by Niels Brinck (2009)
• "Cliché Love Song" by Basim (2014)
• "Fly on the Wings of Love" by The Olsen Brothers (2000)
• "In a Moment Like This" by Chanée & N'evergreen (2010)
• "Never Ever Let You Go" by Rollo & King (2001)
• "Only Teardrops" by Emmelie de Forest (2013)
• "Should've Known Better" by Soluna Samay (2012)
• "Talking To You" by Jakob Sveistrup (2005)
• "The Way You Are" by Anti Social Media (2015)

Wow. That's the biggest roster yet I think. 9 songs out of 16 is a pretty decent success rate in my opinion and it's really no surprise that Denmark have won twice and come close to winning 3 more times because they are pretty good at this. Now I'll still admit that some of these songs will fall quickly in the Top 250, and one of them kind of got there with help from the fact that I know somebody in one of those acts (but I still definitely like the song as well). Two of these songs go veeery far and I think you should have a good idea about at least one of them.

Posted by: LexC 28th May 2016, 05:29 PM

Such a cliche but Denmark really are the masters of the middle of the road beige pop that occasionally strike it lucky with something brilliant like Only Teardrops or In A Moment Like This (and the latter was to all intents and purposes a Swedish song in all but name so that tells you all you need to know).

Posted by: Qassändra 28th May 2016, 07:47 PM

LOVE this thread concept

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 30th May 2016, 03:33 PM

FTR this is the country list as it stands right now:

01.
02.
03.
04.
05.
06.
07. Armenia (6 songs; 2006, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2014, 2016)
08.
09. Australia (2 songs; 2015, 2016)
10.
11. Denmark (9 songs; 2000, 2001, 2005, 2009, 2010, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015)
12. Belgium (7 songs; 2003, 2004, 2006, 2010, 2013, 2015, 2016)
13.
14.
15. Azerbaijan (7 songs; 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2015, 2016)
16.
17.
18. Belarus (6 songs; 2005, 2007, 2011, 2013, 2014, 2015)
19.
20.
21.
22.
23. Bosnia & Herzegovina (2004, 2005, 2006, 2011)
24.
25.
26.
27.
28.
29. Albania (4 songs; 2004, 2005, 2009, 2016)
30. Cyprus (3 songs; 2005, 2007, 2012)
31.
32.
33.
34. Croatia (4 songs; 2002, 2003, 2006, 2016)
35.
36. Austria (2 songs; 2012, 2014)
37.
38.
39.
40. Bulgaria (3 songs; 2006, 2012, 2016)
41.
42.
43. Andorra (1 song; 2005)
44.
45. Czech Republic (1 song; 2016)
46.
47.
48.

Qualified Songs (so far): 59/250

Next up is Estonia. Feel free to try and guess where that will land and which songs will qualify!

Posted by: Martyn 30th May 2016, 03:46 PM

I am going to predict someone like poor San Marino will be the bottom country.

Posted by: Iz~ 30th May 2016, 03:47 PM

Denmark I've always seen as quite competent but in recent years that often means falling below the standard of lots of other nations, particularly in good years like 2012 and 2016. They definitely need a switch-up to their formula soon. Occasionally they have a song I really love but it's not that often (In A Moment Like This and New Tomorrow being the principle ones).

I hope you have several through for Estonia, they're incredible in the years they choose to be.

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 31st May 2016, 08:04 PM

Next up is a country I've been pleasantly surprised by a couple of times. It's by no means my favorite country but they have sent some amazing tunes throughout the years. They've sent seriously cool mystery pop (I have no idea what else to describe it as), solid pop singers and two of the best ballads to be sung in recent Eurovision contests. They have also won once with what is easily in my mind the worst winner of this millennium. But more on that later. Estonia have managed a very respectable 16th out of 48 countries, which I'll be honest is much higher than I would have expected prior to making this list. Estonia really are great underdogs.

532nd – "Eighties Coming Back" by Ruffus (2003)

Uhh like what exactly is supposed to be appealing about this song? In what way are the eighties coming back? Please stop singing, leave the stage and never come back. Sounds like a theme song for some lame 80's show actually, so maybe they're coming back in that sense?

517th – "Let's Get Loud" by Suntribe (2005)

Lol I feel kind of bad about putting this so far down actually but this is just so.. bad. The song brings exactly nothing new to the table and the singing is not impressive in any way. One of the singers has a very weird way of weilding her voice. This is the kind of shouty-party song I really dispise.

485th – "Leto Svet" by Kreisiraadio (2008)

Lmao I think most people will probably be surprised that this isn't dead last but I actually for some very weird reason kind of like this song. Not enough to bring it any higher than this but I definitely find it much more entertaining than the two entries I cut first. I have no idea what's going on and I guess that's part of the charm. This is such a WTF entry and they totally embrace it. I'm glad it didn't qualify though as that would have taken a bit from its' charm and this qualifying over any of the entries would have been a travesty lmao.

411th – "Everybody" by Tanel Padar and Dave Benton (2001)

Oh dear I feel this is way too high actually. I used to LOVE this song when I was a kid but now it annoys me to no end. The thing that annoys me the most though is probably the performance rather than the song itself. The dancing is so cringeworthy and this feels entirely aimed at children, and again since I'm not a kid or a kid person this flies way over my head. Don't get the appeal and don't get how I liked it way back then. Too high.

336th – "Partners In Crime" by Gerli Padar (2007)

Well, I don't really remember this song but then again it comes from 2007 which I tend to want to erase from my memory. It's cool though and Gerli delivers an alright performance of an average song. Not much else to say about it though.

309th – "Siren" by Malcolm Lincoln and Manpower 4 (2010)

Lmao here's a song that I can very well imagine people either hate or love. For me it's somehow sort of in the middle, but not quite still. I both like it and dislike it at the same time.. if that makes sense. There's part of it that I think sound brilliant but there's also parts of the performance I wish I could erase from my memory. Also he looks like an absolute asshat on stage and I really think I'd feel good about punching him just because he's got that kind of face and presence, but I'm not a violent person so I'll pass on punching poor Malcolm.

291st – "Amazing" by Tanja (2014)

Aww poor Tanja, she literally sent this just a little bit too late. This would have slayed in 2008 or so but this feels just so generic and overdone by now that it really shouldn't surprise anyone this didn't qualify. But still it kind of surprised me that it didn't because she has quite an eventful performance and her vocals aren't that bad. The lyrics are hilarious though and I don't know why she wants to get the "amazing light" to stay. Just don't turn them off Tanja, it's easy as that.

275th – "Through My Window" by Sandra Oxenryd (2006)

This is so typical mid-2000s Eurovision I'm honestly shocked this didn't qualify. I mean even though she's not the best singer (she's not the worst either) this just kind of ticks all the boxes. It's a jolly feel-good song about something that makes no sense with kind of an country-undertone and even some sly christmas bell fairly well hidden in the instrumental. Another victim of the damn just-one-semi thing.

267th – "Et Uus Saaks Alguse" by Birgit Õigemeel (2013)

For some reason, even though the language feels a bit like someone is just slamming their fists on the keyboard, ballads in Estonian can be absolutely beautiful. Birgit delivers a pretty flawless performance of this song, which should be enough to drive it into the Top 250 in theory but the song is just not that great even though it's pretty good. She has a lovely voice though.

260th – "Play" by Jüri Pootsmann (2016)

Now we close out Estonia with their most recent entry, which I definitely expected to qualify.. until I saw the semi final performance. It's a solid song but that performance is possibly one of the creepiest, if not THE creepiest, performance in Eurovision history. He has this dead stare into the camera and keeps trying to get me to come closer and I'm just like please stop I'm not interested Jüri. I do like the song though.

Estonian Qualifiers · 7 out of 17

• "Goodbye To Yesterday" by Elina Born and Stig Rästa (2015)
• "Kuula" by Ott Lepland (2012)
• "Once In A Lifetime" by Ines (2000)
• "Rändajad" by Urban Symphony (2009)
• "Rockefeller Street" by Getter Jaani (2011)
• "Runaway" by Sahlene (2002)
• "Tii" by Neiokõsõ (2004)

Seven qualifiers out of the biggest roster yet. We have a little bit of everything here: a male ballad, a duo ballad, bubblegum pop, electropop and even one traditional number that is very interesting in a way because I never would have thought I'd like it. Estonia definitely have shown they know how to participate in Eurovision and have sent some strong performance all throughout the decade.

Next up will be Finland..

Posted by: Iz~ 31st May 2016, 10:05 PM

Well you've taken out all the awful Estonian entries, and most of the amazing ones are in there. Aww at Suntribe, I like that a bit too much for what it is (and Et Uuks Saak Alguse is so wonderfully sweet) but right bottom placer, that's pretty awful.

I'll be very interested to see what you've put through from Finland (hint: as much as possible )

Posted by: Vülker 1st June 2016, 10:42 AM

Neiokõsõ to slay to be honest.

Posted by: Colm 2nd June 2016, 09:07 AM

This is one of my favorites. Love the strings a lot. They're incredibly dramatic and exciting.

Posted by: Dangerous Cody 4th June 2016, 12:51 AM

ELINA BORN *.*

Cameron will be so proud

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 6th June 2016, 01:12 PM

Sorry for the wait guys - Finland and France will hopefully be up later today in the mean time here's some stats for each of the Contests and their reps so far:

2000: 2 songs out of 6 have qualified (Denmark, Estonia)
2001: 1 song out of 4 has qualified (Denmark)
2002: 2 songs out of 8 have qualified (Croatia, Estonia)
2003: 2 songs out of 5 have qualified (Belgium, Croatia)
2004: 4 songs out of 10 have qualified (Albania, Belgium, Bosnia & Herzegovina, Estonia)
2005: 6 songs out of 11 have qualified (Albania, Andorra, Belarus, Bosnia & Herzegovina, Cyprus, Denmark)
2006: 5 songs out of 11 have qualified (Armenia, Belgium, Bosnia & Herzegovina, Bulgaria, Croatia)
2007: 2 songs out of 13 have qualified (Belarus, Cyprus)
2008: 1 song out of 13 has qualified (Armenia)
2009: 5 songs out of 13 have qualified (Albania, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Denmark, Estonia)
2010: 4 songs out of 11 have qualified (Armenia, Azerbaijan, Belgium, Denmark)
2011: 4 songs out of 12 have qualified (Azerbaijan, Belarus, Bosnia & Herzegovina, Estonia)
2012: 6 songs out of 11 have qualified (Austria, Azerbaijan, Bulgaria, Cyprus, Denmark, Estonia)
2013: 4 songs out of 11 have qualified (Azerbaijan, Belarus, Belgium, Denmark)
2014: 4 songs out of 8 have qualified (Armenia, Austria, Belarus, Denmark)
2015: 6 songs out of 11 have qualified (Australia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Belgium, Denmark, Estonia)
2016: 8 songs out of 14 have qualified (Albania, Armenia, Australia, Azerbaijan, Belgium, Bulgaria, Croatia, Czech Republic)

so far 2008 has the worst success rate which is surprising to me because I didn't realized they had so many below average songs lol. 2007 is worse though as the average of the eliminated songs is much lower than 2008.

Posted by: Mdh 6th June 2016, 04:13 PM

Excited for Hungary!

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 7th June 2016, 11:23 PM

moved to the top of the next page for aesthetic reasons

Posted by: Iz~ 7th June 2016, 11:32 PM

I've figured out I really enjoy the Finnish 'decade' of 2006-2015, I love all the entries in that range to different extents (although in general, getting worse as it went on, a winner's high that fades I guess) and Sing It Away ended up being less enjoyable than any of them, I really hope they can pull that back next year. And I don't really care for anything before, in fact 2000 and 2004 are quite terrible.

So I'm very happy for those 6. 'Adorably weird' is a very accurate way to describe Kuunkuiskaajat too.

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 8th June 2016, 09:13 AM

(Originally last post on the last page, but I moved it here because I wanted to have it high on this page rather than bottom of the last one)



Finland is a country I'm super conflicted about. I didn't think I liked as many songs if theirs as I did when I started doing this list but they've actually had some solid songs in the past. They've also had some terrible songs as well, including one that falls right into the Bottom 5 worst songs in my opinion. Most of their stuff is really mid-table though and rather inoffensive. All of this concludes with Finland falling into a very mid-table placement at 21st out of 48 songs, last of the Nordic countries.

616th – "Aina Mun Pitää" by Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät (2015)

Yeeeeah, the less I say about this the better.

505th – "A Little Bit" by Nina Åström (2000)

Geez this is a borefest if I've ever heard one. Nina obviously means well but geez this is such a non-event that pretty much all I remember about this song is how godawfully boring it is.

483rd – "Missä Miehet Ratsastaa" by Teräsbetoni (2008)

Lol this is such a weird entry. I kind of like but but I also really don't like it at the same time lmao. It's like wayy too much for my liking it's still kind of interesting enough that I don't want to put it in the bottom 100. The Axl Rose thing is getting a bit tiring though. Finnish is so strange lmao.

431rd – "Why?" by Geir Rönning (2005)

Well this is pretty inoffensive in a way. Not much going on but it's alright. Pretty safe so it's no wonder this didn't really do any wonders in 2005. Not much to say about this really.

421st – "Addicted To You" by Laura (2002)

Lmao yet another mess of a 2002 entry falling out of the ranking. I really don't remember this song and I can't say I'm surprised as this is very blahh but I'm totally digging the Robyn look she's sporting.

416th – "Takes 2 To Tango" by Jari Sillanpää (2004)

Lol I'm so conflicted about this mess because I kind of like it but it's still just so lame lmao that I really can't justify bringing this any higher than this. Jari has the weirdest stage presence and the song is such a pee break I can't even figure out what it is I sort of almost kind of like about this song but for some reason I don't totally hate it lol.

348th – "Sing It Away" by Sandhja (2016)

Ughhh Sandhja how I wish you had delivered a solid performance the other day. This was just terrible in every sense of the word and unlike some songs where I let them through solely based on the studio versions this one gets dragged down almost solely because of the live performance. I can't recall when was the last time I lost all interest in a song after hearing it live. She's so out of tune, out of key and pitchy and ughh it's just so terrible. I was really rooting for this prior to the semi but man my interest flew out the window in one swift move.

315th – "Työlki Ellää" by Kuunkuiskaajat (2010)

So we take a bit of a jump into the Top 350 the next one and I can finally write a bit about them. This is so adorably weird I just can't lmfao. First of all we have these two adorable finnish ladies with a harmonica and they start speeding up like crazy when the song starts and it feels like such a cute and weird little entry. The chick with the harmonica is hilarious tbh and her facial expressions are so strange. The other one is just really, like really good looking. I totally like this and it just makes me so happy for some reason.

285th – "Da Da Dam" by Paradise Oskar (2011)

Sure I can admit it's cute and beautiful message and all but still I'm just so over it already. I remember liking it back in 2011 but now I'm just bored of it. This is the type of song that if done right can be really good but they usually grow old super fast and the subject has been overdone to pieces. I initially had this a lot higher but upon rewatch I felt it was wayyy too high. 285 seems like a good spot for it, especially since his voice grates just a lil bit on my nerves heh.

Finnish Qualifiers · 6 out of 15

• "Hard Rock Hallelujah" by Lordi (2006)
• "Leave Me Alone" by Hannah (2007)
• "Lose Control" by Waldo's People (2009)
• "Marry Me" by Krista Siegfrids (2013)
• "När Jag Blundar" by Pernilla Karlsson (2012)
• "Something Better" by Softengine (2014)

Very interesting batch. We got Finland's so far one and only victory with the monster mash Lordi. We have some underrated female vocals and two groups that delivered solid pieces, even though they're both very different.

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 9th June 2016, 09:18 PM

Wow, I'll be honest I did not realize I liked so many French entries. It was genuinely hard to cut many of these songs because I actually enjoy this beautiful language a lot more than I thought I would going into this. A lot of forgotten gems are hidden behind the beautiful french language, as well as some brilliant upbeat songs too. France is also one of the countries who have strayed very seldomly from singing in their own language rather than conforming into English like everyone else, which I LOVE. It really shouldn't surprise me that France places 10th out of 48 songs but it does.

428th – "On Aura Le Ciel" by Sofia Mestari (2000)

Last of the French songs is not exactly a bad song but just a terribly boring one. It's not any more exciting than most of the songs at the start of the century though but it definitely doesn't stack up against the impressive resume the french have built since the dawn of this millennium. Sofia has a nice voice but there have been much better singers in the contest.

398th – "Á Chaque Pas" by Jonatan Cerrada (2004)

Ohh well this one I'm a bit conflicted about. The song is really beautiful but Jonatan, although probably a good singer in general, has numerous pitchy moments in this performance which are not impressive. BTW He kind of looks like Serena Van Der Woodsen's little brother in Gossip Girl, am I right? Lmao.

369th – "Sognu" by Amaury Vassili (2011)

I would never have thought I'd actually like this song in any shape or form but man this is actually very impressive. Amaury has a huge vocal range and his voice is stunning but that's where my praises end. The song is nice but ultimately it's mostly just his voice that brings it this high. I feel like it's unfair to songs that I actually like more to place much lower than this since this song doesn't impress me. Just his voice. This song really is the textbook explanation of "non-event".

357th – "Monts et Merveilles" by Louisa Baïleche (2003)

This is an interesting one. I'm absolutely certain I have heard an Icelandic version of this song sometime, but still I don't recall having ever heard this in Eurovision in its' original form lmao. It's cute but it's nothing groundbreaking so I don't think I can get myself to bring it much higher than this. Definitely among the better 2003 entries though. Feels like something out of a 90's disney film.

326th – "L'amour à la Francaise" by Les Fatals Picards (2007)

Lol I had a hard time cutting this one because this is a HUGE guilty pleasure. The vocals aren't all that great but the song and melody are so fun. I have no idea what the song is about but it feels like something of a love song. I don't remember hearing it in the contest back then but when I listened to it now it still gave me a little bit of a nostalgia moment. I love the chorus and the staging is pretty funny.

295th – "Chacun Pense à Soi" by Ortal (2005)

Lmao this is probably a huge WTF moment for most of you, especially since Ortal is far from the best singer France has produced but man I listened to this a LOT back then for some reason. Ortal is an absolute mess on stage and her dancing is so hilarious and makes almost no sense compared to her back-up dancers but that's what makes this so amazing. The song is groovy and cool and I love the studio version. Let's just all agree on one thing: Ortal is a STAR. End of discussion.

276th – "Et S'il Fallait Le Faire" by Patricia Kaas (2009)

Don't get me wrong, this song is very beautiful but for me it just doesn't really go anywhere. I know a lot of people love this song and will probably be outraged at me cutting it so early but while I can enjoy the melody and everything about this mysterious song it's still not quite there for me. I love the instrumental but Patricia's voice is just a little bit annoying to my ear. Like, I don't hate this song by any means but I can't bring myself to love it as much as everyone else does.

263rd – "Je Nai Que Mon Âme" by Natasha St-Pier (2001)

Oop, I think I just cut two of the most beloved French entries in a row. Again with Natasha, just like with Patricia, I totally get the appeal but it's not quite there for me. Parts of the song annoy me a bit but I cannot deny the fact that it's absolutely beautiful. Her voice is one of those voices you either love or hate. Compared to the rest of 2001 this is definitely in the top percentage, but compared to all 17 contests of the millennium so far it's not quite in the Top 250 for me. It definitely deserved its' success in the contest though and would have made a much better winner than the one we got.

French Qualifiers · 9 out of 17

• "Allez Ola Olé" by Jessy Matador (2010)
• "Echo (You and I)" by Anggun (2012)
• "Divine" by Sébastien Tellier (2008)
• "Il Était Temps" by Virginie Pouchain (2006)
• "Il Faut Du Temps" by Sandrine François (2002)
• "J'ai Cherché" by Amir (2016)
• "L'enfer et moi" by Amandine Bourgeois (2013)
• "Moustache" by Twin Twin (2014)
• "N'oubliez Pas" by Lisa Angell (2015)

We have an amazing batch of songs here. From 2002 we have the second coming of Celine Dion; in 2006 we got an absolutely stunning ballad; 2008 brought us an entry like no other from Sebastien Tellier; 2010 gave us one of the biggest non-winner hits of the millennium; and then from 2012 until 2016 I gave every single song a pass because the french have been on an amazing roll for the past 5 years for sure! Amazing vocals in most cases, amazing music videos and one song that is just plain awesome. The worst thing is though that most of the songs I let through were terribly robbed from getting good results. Starting with Sandrine (2002) and ending with Amir (2016) this is how my qualifiers placed in the real contests: 5-22-19-12-22-23-26-25-6. Ridiculous.

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 9th June 2016, 09:18 PM

Oops, accidental double-post. Using that to update the current country standings. Armenia so far the highest placing country revealed and France takes up the first Top 10 space since Australia. Who will fill up the rest of the Top 10 spots?

01.
02.
03.
04.
05.
06.
07. Armenia (6 songs; 2006, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2014, 2016)
08.
09. Australia (2 songs; 2015, 2016)
10. France (9 songs; 2002, 2006, 2008, 2010, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016)
11. Denmark (9 songs; 2000, 2001, 2005, 2009, 2010, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015)
12. Belgium (7 songs; 2003, 2004, 2006, 2010, 2013, 2015, 2016)
13.
14.
15. Azerbaijan (7 songs; 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2015, 2016)
16. Estonia (7 songs; 2000, 2002, 2004, 2009, 2011, 2012, 2015)
17.
18. Belarus (6 songs; 2005, 2007, 2011, 2013, 2014, 2015)
19.
20.
21. Finland (6 songs; 2006, 2007, 2009, 2012, 2013, 2014)
22.
23. Bosnia & Herzegovina (4 songs; 2004, 2005, 2006, 2011)
24.
25.
26.
27.
28.
29. Albania (4 songs; 2004, 2005, 2009, 2016)
30. Cyprus (3 songs; 2005, 2007, 2012)
31.
32.
33.
34. Croatia (4 songs; 2002, 2003, 2006, 2016)
35.
36. Austria (2 songs; 2012, 2014)
37.
38.
39.
40. Bulgaria (3 songs; 2006, 2012, 2016)
41.
42.
43. Andorra (1 song; 2005)
44.
45. Czech Republic (1 song; 2016)
46.
47.
48.

Qualified Songs (so far): 81/250

Next up will be Georgia. Feel free to try and guess where they will place and how many qualifiers they'll have.

Posted by: jafetsigfinns 15th June 2016, 11:27 PM

Georgia is an interesting country. They first debuted in 2007 and have only failed to qualify twice (though they did not participate in 2009). Three times they have been represented by women named "Sopho" which is a very high number out of only nine entries lmao. Even though Europe seems to love them in this contest I certainly don't. They have had a few nice entries but also two of my absolute least favorite songs of the millennium. Georgia is overall just a pretty average country for me so they place 38th out of 48 countries.

607th – "Three Minutes to Earth" by The Shin and Mariko (2014)

Ugh I hate songs like this. Performance art and experimenting with the vocals usually annoys me greatly. This is just terrible in pretty much every way. I originally even had this higher but felt it deserved to be in the Bottom 20 so I moved it last minute. Absolutely horrid.

605th – "I'm A Joker" by Anri Jokhadze (2012)

Yup Georgia has two songs in the bottom 20 and for good reason as both are absolute shit with almost no melody at all. 'Joker' is only barely better than the former because of the instrumental but still this is horrible. Like seriously what is the message you are delivering Anri? He repeats the fact that he's a joker a billion times during this shit attempt at a song, as if that's really something to be so exceedingly proud of.

537rd – "Midnight Gold" by Nika Kocharov and Young Georgian Lolitaz (2016)

This is a weird one for me because it's absolutely something I would eat up in 2008 but since the quality of the 2016 entries was so amazing this falls flat in comparison. I don't dislike the song but I don't really like it either and I feel like it's terribly overrated but again it's mostly just that in comparison to the rest of the class of 2016 this isn't as good. Bottom 100 is maybe a bit too low though.

413th – "Shine" by Sopho Nizharadze (2010)

Controversy time! I think this is the worst incarnation of the Georgian 'Sopho'. I don't necessarily find this song bad in any way but I find this immensely overrated and the song is just so boring. I like the verses but I'm really not a fan of the chorus or whatever it is when she shouts the "SHIIIINE" part relentlessly lol. I'm really surprised this did so well in 2010 as there were a lot of much better songs that year and IMO this deserved maybe Top 20 at best. Very forgettable :x

395th – "Waterfall" by Sopho Gelovani and Nodiko Tatishvili (2013)

While the two of them are great together the song is certainly not groundbreaking in any way. It feels like something we've seen a thousand times before and there were much better songs that placed lower than this one in 2013 (which is one of my favorite contests). Beautiful harmony though.

Georgian Qualifiers · 4 out of 9

• "One More Day" by Eldrine (2011)
• "Peace Will Come" by Diana Gurtskaya (2008)
• "Visionary Dream" by Sopho Khalvashi (2007)
• "Warrior" by Nina Sublatti (2015)

Four songs qualify for Georgia which is better than I expected and I definitely enjoyed some of these more than I intended to. One song qualifies mostly thanks to the studio version though. What all of these have in common though is that it's all just female vocalists, but then again 7 out of 9 Georgian entries so far feature female vocalists in front (though they aren't always alone on stage).

Posted by: 🍑💦🍌 21st June 2016, 06:43 AM

Moarrrr please :')

Posted by: Bradders 4th August 2016, 09:57 AM

I was enjoying this. Please carry on