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[Suedehead2]

We really should have started one of these months ago. After all, she has proved to be at least as gaffe-prone as her opposite number Dianne Abbott. The big difference is that Rudderless is a minister so her gaffes matter rather more.

Let's start with a few of her greatest hits.

After the terrorist attacks lsat year she insisted that the police "need to know the necessary hashtags". The ridicule she received for that comment might have led her to make sure she knew what she was talking about before she pontificated on the subject again. Alas not. It wasn't long before she was floating the idea of banning encryption - a policy that would kill off e-commerce at a stoke.

TS Eliot wrote that April is the cruellest month. Rudderless seems to be determined to prove that this month. Perhaps May will prove to be the cruellest boss by sacking Rudd. In the meantime, this is how April is going so far.

Rudd has been dropped in the mire by her immediate predecessor at the Home Office, one T May. Earlier in the week Rudderless insisted there were no targets for deportations. Today she has admitted that these targets do exist after all. This, of course, comes after she admitted that she hadn't recognised the scale of the Windrush problem. Why not? Didn't she consider asking Home Office officials for more details?

Her ineot handling of the Windrush shambles has, of course, resurrected the issue of people from other EU countries living here if we leave the EU. Rudd insists that there is no problem because there will be an app. This app will apparently be "as simple to use as registering an account with LK Bennett". Who? Just in case you are not familiar with LK Bennett, they make posh frocks. A normal person might have mentioned an account with Tesco, but not Rudderless. Of course, as a side issue, if a Labour spokesperson had mentioned, say, Asda instead of Tesco, they would be accused of anti-Semitism.

Anyway, it turns out that it own't be so simple after all because a key function doesn't work on an iPhone. Never mind, our Amber has that covered. She has suggested that people can just borrow a friend's phone. Isn't that what we all do when we want to send sensitive information? Maybe they should just stick that information on a postcard and pop it in the post.