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[RobBot]

WE HAVE REACHED THE FINAL. You were perhaps rightfully assuming that I'd forgotten about this but along I have come to present to you the final of the superb Buzzfestivalen 2015.



Brought to you from Grimsby for the first time, after unforunate incidents last year led to the final being transferred at last minute to Buckinghamshire, the final is guaranteed to be trashy as hell to kindly represent the town the only way we know how. The desperation for the contests to win Buzzfestivalen is almost as rife as the smell of fish and herpes that linger the air, so without further ado, let's meet the 12 contestants.

And for the sake of feeling Totally Christer Bjorkman (doesn't that sound like such a fabulous MTV spin off show), I've *coughs* placed them in a totally random order which doesn't attempt to encourage you to listen through them with my favourite placed last so that it sticks in your head.

HERE ARE THE 12 FINALISTS OF BUZZFESTIVALEN 2015:

01 | Dolly Style - Hello Hi



So, kicking off the final is a track that is both larger in life both visually and musically. ANy worries that we were going to get 3 awful YOHIO created monsters doing some shit dated rock track were quickly thwarted from the minute we received a 30 second preview which saw the iconic MOLLY, POLLY AND HOLLY catapult themselves into our camp hearts with several spoonfuls of joy, fun, novelty and pastel coloured ridiculousness. Now one of them HAS left since but that didn't stop you sending them direkt til Grimsby Auditorum in the first heat. How will the theesome fare in the final though?

02 | Annika Herlitz - Ett Andetag



And of course, thrown into the very carefully selected position of #2 is some old woman who was the vocallist of someone from Frozen in their Swedish version of the Disney favourite. She certainly made sure we didn't forget either, looking like a very aged version of Anna. That didn't stop Buzzjack lapping it up, even though we're in 2015 now, something that Sweden themselves didn't do - will it continue to eclipse expectations in the final or will you be left as frozen cold as I am?

03 | Midnight Boy - Don't Say No



A blast into the past but also at the current time here as Midnight Boy's rather fabulous unofficial reworking of You Spin Me Round by Dead Or Alive has made it to the final. A huge improvement on his unsurprising last place flop in his Melodifestivalen semi. But the Buzzjack have reacted much more positively, letting the bare chested 80s boy through to the final here having beat Buzzjack's nemesis duo Samir & Viktor in the Andra Chansen "duel" to make it here. But what will you be saying in regards to his chances in the final?

04 | Mariette - Don't Stop Believing



And here we see a likely competitor to win the whole thing. Mariette, with a very credible track for Melodifestivalen and this years case of "Buzzjack is up in arms about it, Rob doesn't quite get it" - but luckily for you, this is not Robfestivalen and therefore we find feisty dark pop tune Don't Stop Believing battling it out to see if it can do better than the impressive 3rd place it received in Melodifestivalen. I have no doubts she romped very convincingly to the final from her heat but do you believe enough in her to grant her the illustrious victory?

05 | Eric Saade - Sting



Time for some more males as I attempt to spread them out as much as possible (though to be fair, you haven't been quite so female heavy this time, good work Buzzjack!) and the guy who was tipped to win Melodifestivalen. Until he stopped on stage with a song that sounded like One Direction, Ariana Grande and David Lindgren had been shoved into a blender and spat out some half baked mess accompanied by the expected (but possibly even worse than usual) nonsensical lyrics of LE KEMPE. But aside from that and the fact that as half baked as it IS, it's still actually painfully catchy, Saade sailed through to the final of Melodifestivalen anyway, only to finish 5th and he managed to easily advance to the finals here too. But just how popular is the track amongst the other 11?

06 | Kristin Amparo - I See You



Back onto the more downtempo of tracks here and a track that didn't quite live up to the expectations that had been plumped onto her before the contest, which had predicted her to be a contender to win the whole thing. It wasn't to be and she crashed out at the Andra Chansen stage to an old man with a charming bop. You were more sympathetic to the big girl here though and her deep tones, and sent her through a semi which is only represented by two tracks in this final. Clearly we love a ballad on this site though, but how will Ms Kristin fare amongst this pack of finalists?

07 | Linus Svenning - Forever Starts Today



We have another of the 8 songs that made it DIREKT TIL GRIMSBY here, a slightly more shocking one by name, especially when you consider that Magnus Carlsson was competing with him. A bald lifeless ogre shoving past a homosexual mincer? On Buzzjack? I need a seat. The song is pretty Buzzjack friendly though in all its Only Teardrops-lite joy but amongst some even bigger tracks in this final, will Linus and his total lack of emotion be able to stand up?

08 | Elize Ryd & Rickard Soderberg - One By One



One of the hotter messes of this years Buzzjack lands itself in the final via the path of Andra Chansen here, the combination of a gay as the day is long opera tenor in the form of Rickard Soderberg hooking up with Amaranthe rock chick Elize Ryd to deliver something that actually wasn't as much of a hot mess as it could've been. In that it was neither particularly hot or particularly messy. But whatever it was was good enough for it to stick with you more than it did the Swedish voting public and thus we find Elize & Rickard in Grimsby where they're probably one of the more normal duos you'll come across. How close will the pairing come to Number One in this competition however?

09 | Mans Zelmerlow - Heroes



And the eventual winner is HERE. Heroes romped to victory in this years Melodifestivalen with nobody even coming close, and he's now predicted to win the entire Eurovision 2015. That means nothing here though where it's down to just you, the Buzzjack voters, less likely to be influenced by a dancing man on a backdrop... but more likely to be swayed by that really gorgeous face of his, so I guess that balances it out. The favourite to win Buzzfestivalen? Probably, but we'll now see whether he can score victory here as well as in Sweden.

10 | Magnus Carlsson - Mot Mig I Gamla Stan



Time for an unsurprising dose of camp now for Buzzjack that quite surprisingly had to fight its way through Andra Chansen in order to make it to the final. Never the less, the former Alcastar has minced his way here in some form with a track that really only Sweden could produce in such a way. The song asks some guy from Grindr to meet him in the old town but will he be met here with a warm reception in the final? Time well tell~

11 | Ellen Benediktson - Insomnia



Time for another track that has made it to the final here which sadly bombed in the main contest, although not quite as hard as Midnight Boy or Annika. It's everyones favourite 20 year old who looks about 35 (but we're definitely not claiming her as anything as special as nu Sanna), Ellen Benediktson. Last years Melodifestivalen finalist, this years Buzzfestivalen finalist with a song that's a lot more edgy than her 2014 offering. She fired through her heat but will she have the same good fortunes in the final?

12 | Dinah Nah - Make Me (La La La)



And last but absolutely NEVER LEAST is the goddess of 2015's Melodifestivalen. A jet pink haired 56 year old who, for her role as goddess of Melodifestivalen, ordered her dancers to work themselves into an aggressive asthmatic fit while she simply watched on and flicked her ponytail. We can only be talking about the icon of our times, Dinah Nah. But of course, these commentaries aren't meant to be at all biased because that would be incredibly unprofessional of me. In one of the biggest injustices known to man, Dinah slumped into last place in the final of Melodifestivalen (although her making the final was quite the achievement in the first place) but will you be kinder to her here on Buzzjack? I feel you might be somehow.

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And in basic bitch list format, that is:

Dolly Style - Hello Hi
Annika Herlitz - Ett Andetag
Midnight Boy - Don't Say No
Mariette - Don't Stop Believing
Eric Saade - Sting
Kristin Amparo - I See You
Linus Svenning - Forever Starts Today
Elize Ryd & Rickard Soderberg - One By One
Mans Zelmerlow - Heroes
Magnus Carlsson - Mot Mig I Gamla Stan
Ellen Benediktson - Insomnia
Dinah Nah - Make Me (La La La)

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I've decided to change the scoring to the Eurovision style of scoring due to there being 12 songs in the final this year, so you'll DEAL.

12
10
08
07
06
05
04
03
02
01

You have until 5th May, aka next Thursday, at 23:59pm to vote and decide your winner! Off ye go~