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> CTOAN attempts to rank all 809 Pokemon
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cantthinkofaname
post Jul 5 2019, 05:09 PM
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I decided, with Iz's blessing, to start a countdown of all 809 Pokemon. The reasons for why a Pokemon places in a specific spot are various and you will most definitely not agree with me on all parts but my main criteria is sentimental value and the design of the Pokemon as I have literally no idea how the IVís and EVís work or what that even means and no I don't care if some Pokemon are overused in online battles (?) or if they are over-/underpowered like I literally don't give a shit, so sorry not sorry if I rank someone you like low or whatever but the strength of a specific Pokemon has little to do with how I feel about them (unless I have PTSD from specific gym battles with said Pokemon in which case I STILL HATE YOU).

Before I start the ranking let me make my biases clear: the first three generations have some nostalgic bias helping them as I played these the most when I was a kid so they have a lot of sentimental value and a stupid design may get higher than it maybe should because I had an emotional connection to the Pokemon. Some Pokemon may get dragged down because I expected more from the design (especially as a stupid evolution after an interesting/cute/fun/cool pre-evo) or because I feel like a good opportunity may have been missed. Some Pokemon may get a random boost because I find them or something about them hilarious lol. Legendaries have another cross to bear in the fact that if I think your look is stupid AND youíre a legendary thatís an even bigger minus. LEGENDARIES SHOULD LOOK LEGENDARY and not like silly bearded men on clouds. Yes that is a hint.

Anyway, Iíll let this all sink in a bit and let yíall start a hype train or whatever and then Iíll start shortly.

Eliminated:
No one yet.


This post has been edited by cantthinkofaname: Jul 5 2019, 05:10 PM
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Tones and Iz
post Jul 6 2019, 05:24 AM
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Good luck, and eliminate some really bad ones first and itíll all be cool
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Oliver
post Jul 6 2019, 07:09 AM
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I hope you have a similar taste in Pokemon to me so I can see my faves at the top! laugh.gif
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HauntedHaus
post Jul 6 2019, 08:54 AM
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Excited for this! What an undertaking. *.*
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cantthinkofaname
post Jul 6 2019, 10:13 AM
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809th | #642 Thundurus
Electric/Flying • Unova • Legendary

Just a FYI: the other two are following right on this guy’s heels. First and foremost what I hate about this Pokemon is that this (and his brothers) is the laziest god damn design I have ever seen on a Pokemon. It’s a bearded guy on a cloud? This is a legendary and there is literally nothing outstanding about this design. The trio is hardly distinguishable from each other outside of their color palette and the fact that one of them has a hammer. Deciding which one I hate the most was hard but I guess what did it was the hair/mane/whatever on this guy which somehow makes him look even more ridiculous.

Regarding the Therian forme it’s a little less stupid in the sense that at least it’s not just a guy on a cloud but also a lot more stupid because it literally looks like Genie from Aladdin tried to transform into a dragon.

CODE
Pokťdex Entry:
“As it flies around, it shoots lightning all over the place and causes forest fires. It is therefore disliked.”

This is the Pokedex entry from Black 2 & White 2. Even here the laziness is apparent but I can’t help but laugh at this. “It is therefore disliked.” NO SHIT, this dumbass flies around and shoots lightning all over the place causing forest fires just because?! Are we even supposed to like this Pokemon lmao.

As my lowest placing Pokemon over all, Thundurus is also my lowest placing Flying type, Electric type, Unova originated Pokemon and the lowest Legendary of them all (as well as obviously being the last “Force of Nature” but we all know the other two are hot on his heels). Keep these type of shit away from my Pokemon games, designs like these belong in Yu-Gi-Oh.

Hint for #608
It's either Landorus or Thundurus.


This post has been edited by cantthinkofaname: Jul 6 2019, 10:17 AM
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cantthinkofaname
post Jul 6 2019, 10:15 AM
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808th | #641 Tornadus
Flying ē Unova ē Legendary

Get ready for three similar write-ups because we have three way too similar Pokemon. These names are also equally stupid since the creators obviously stopped believing we could put two and two together so the fact that GASP this guy has a connection to tornadoes is lost on not a single person. Why did I not put this guy last you ask? I guess his color combo is a little less annoying than Thundurusí. What a waste of a proper legendary trio.

As many of you might know this is the only pure Flying type Pokemon in existence and seriously: What. A. Waste. His Therian forme is the most stupid thing I have seen and in hindsight that really should have put him last as itís far more insulting to my eyes than Thundurusí hair but I guess all their Therian formes are offensively stupid looking so I can really make a case for each one of them deserving last place.

CODE
Pokťdex Entry:
ďIn every direction it flies, creating winds so powerful, they blow everything away.Ē


Is it just me or are these guys made to be unlikeable? The just seem to be f**king shit up for everyone just because. So this guy zooms past you and a shockwave follows that will literally destroy your house and rip it up from the ground? I hate him even more now.

Despite being the second-lowest Pokemon on my list, the fact that he is not in last place in any of the groups he belongs to (Flying, Unova, Legendary) says a lot about the originality going on here lol.

Hint for #607
It's the last one.
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cantthinkofaname
post Jul 6 2019, 10:16 AM
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807th | #645 Landorus
Ground/Flying ē Unova ē Legendary

Finally we have Landorus who is the least annoying because at least he has a hammer but why the f**k is he not #643 right after Thundurus? For some reason we have Reshiram and Zekrom plopped in between this trio which pisses me off immensely for OCD purposes. Also can we talk about how his typing literally cancels each other out? Lmao. I mean Iím all for cool unique typings but what is it about this guy that screams ďground typeĒ? I guess his Therian forme does because he has legs? Idk. I will never understand the thought process of whoever designed these utterly stupid Pokemon.

CODE
Pokťdex Entry:
ďThe energy that comes pouring from its tail increases the nutrition in the soil, making crops grow to great size.Ē


Ok I guess unlike his brothers (or whatever their relation is supposed to be), Landorus isnít actually a dick so that makes me glad I decided to put him the highest out of the three but itís not enough to grant him a higher placement. The design is still incredibly stupid. Iíll keep this one short as Iíve already ranted enough about these guys but seriously if any other design manages to top these three in awfulness Pokemon has officially sold itsí soul.

Landorus is the lowest placing Ground type Pokemon, what fun.

Hint for #606
Bug pokemon that has at least two different forms.
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Dexton
post Jul 6 2019, 01:20 PM
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rip in peace Dickston
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I actually like Landorus tbh, itís a very unique typing that has a few immunities and weaknesses. The land form is a very cool design I think. The floating one is a bit meh same as the other two. Iíve never been a huge fan of this trio but i feel theyíd end up like #500~ just bc Iíd forget they exist laugh.gif
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cantthinkofaname
post Jul 6 2019, 02:04 PM
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806th | #413 Wormadam
Sinnoh ē 1st Stage Evolution
Plant Cloak: Bug/Grass
Sandy Cloak: Bug/Ground
Trash Cloak: Bug/Steel


What an ugly looking Pokemon this is and utterly useless to boot. We have this in every game: a bug Pokemon that starts as cute-ish little bug, then evolves into a cocoon that is very useless and usually only lasts for about 2-3 levels and finally we get the butterfly/bee/mosquito/whatever that is fairly good for how early on you get it. Well in Sinnoh they went a different route and not only do Burmies (the first stage) not evolve until level 20 (!!) but also if you wind up with a female you just get these fugly creatures and NOT the butterfly you were promised. That only happens if you have a male Burmy (sexist).

So why exactly do I hate Wormadam more than itís useless pre-evo? There have been a lot of useless and annoying bug Pokemon (Metapod, Kakuna, Cascoon, Silcoon, etc) but in all of their cases the final evolution was at least okay but here the pay off is none. We get these ugly looking big nosed f**kers in different cloaks as if their different formes are supposed to make up for the fact that these are stupid, useless and ugly ass designs. Like wtf is with their noses?!

CODE
Pokťdex Entry:
ďWhen evolving, its body takes in surrounding materials. As a result, there are many body variations.Ē


And yet we only have these three ugly variations. THREE IS NOT A BIG NUMBER NINTENDO. I get that yíall wanna do some interesting evolutions here and there but seriously what was the point of this mess. Itís so gd ugly ugh. Wormadam is the lowest ranking Sinnoh Pokemon, lowest ranking 1st Evo and the lowest Bug type. As it has different forms Iím only counting it as the type that all three forms have in common: Bug, so I donít consider it the lowest Grass or Steel Pokemon as well, but I guess you can if you choose to do so lol.

Hint for #605
A new evolution of a Pokemon from a previous game.


This post has been edited by cantthinkofaname: Jul 6 2019, 03:04 PM
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cantthinkofaname
post Jul 6 2019, 02:05 PM
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Side note does anyone know how to put a colored highlight on text?
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HauntedHaus
post Jul 6 2019, 02:13 PM
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Wormadam are completely useless but they remind me of some sort of Legend of Zelda type enemy so I have soft spot for them. The three legendaries you opened with I agree are worthy of such a low placing.
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Dexton
post Jul 6 2019, 02:52 PM
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rip in peace Dickston
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Burmy is cute and Mothim isn't an entirely useless bug type but yup I couldn't giveadam about wormadam
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Dircadirca
post Jul 6 2019, 04:18 PM
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Best of luck with this, quite an undertaking! I'm somewhat similar in that I have a lot of specific nostalgia for the first 3 generations (mainly the 1st), afterwards I get totally blurred and don't really know most by name at that point laugh.gif
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TheSnake
post Jul 8 2019, 05:59 PM
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Strange I always thought Caterpie/Butterfree and Jiggypuff were the weakest Pokemon, but I guess that was back in the early days before loads more were added.

I do have a soft spot for Caterpie though as it was my first ever Pokemon card when I was in primary school (I didn't collect many Pokemon cards though back then sadly). So i hope Caterpie/Butterfree isn't on the list too soon.
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cantthinkofaname
post Jul 8 2019, 06:16 PM
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805th | #464 Rhyperior
Ground/Rock ē Sinnoh ē 2nd Stage Evolution

Iíll be honest Iím not entirely sure why exactly I hate this design so much but I guess it has a lot to do with absolutely RUINING a great evolution line with this fat lard. As you will probably come to see sooner than later Iím not a huge fan of a lot of the designs from Sinnoh and Unova because I feel like the designers just really fell asleep at the wheel here. Seriously, does anyone who is not a 10 year old kid think this actually looks cool? Itís funny because itís called Rhyperior (as in Rhino + Superior) as if this derp is superior to absolutely anyone lmao.


Just look at this stupid face.

They gave it a weird Barney Gumble mouth and like wtf is it with those orange armor things all over itsí body? Now of course as if the design in itself wasnít enough to make me hate Rhyperior they had to add in the absolutely worst way to evolve any Pokemon ever: trading. This was the worst idea ever added in a game and there should have always been a back up for those who canít/wonít/donít trade so that they could still get these Pokemon but I guess it spells more moolah in the bank so donít count on it.

I think what pisses me most off about Rhyperior is the fact that there was literally no reason to make him. Diamond and Pearl of course added a whole bunch of new evolutions to old Pokemon, almost none of which were actually cool, and by creating Rhyperior they just kind of f***ed up a good thing because Rhyhorn and Rhydon are pretty cool already. But if they just had to do this they should have done so with respect. Rhyperiorís creation honestly feels a bit like when that lady repainted the Jesus painting lol.

CODE
Pokťdex Entry:
ďIt puts rocks in holes in its palms and uses its muscles to shoot them. Geodude are shot at rare times.Ē


This is obviously meant to put emphasis on how badass it is supposed to be but I just find it hilarious imagining this mess shooting Geodudes out of itsí hand lmao. Pretty much all of itsí Pokťdex entries are say the same thing but worded differently which tells me that the people who made this were just making this guy up for the hell of it and put literally no thought into making this Pokemon. ďHeís strong and he shoots Geodudes out of its hand. Do we need to say anything else? Nahhh.Ē

Rhyperior is the lowest of all Rock type Pokemon, all 2nd Stage Evolutions, Cross-Game Evolutions and of course my favorite: Trade Evolutions. Happiness all around.

Hint for #604
There's hardly any difference between this Pokemon and the one it evolves from.
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Kuki Sanban
post Jul 13 2019, 10:21 PM
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Rhyperior is an absolute disgrace of a Pokemon
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#Justice4Wonho
post Jul 17 2019, 05:49 PM
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QUOTE(cantthinkofaname @ Jul 6 2019, 07:04 AM) *
What an ugly looking Pokemon this is and utterly useless to boot. We have this in every game: a bug Pokemon that starts as cute-ish little bug, then evolves into a cocoon that is very useless and usually only lasts for about 2-3 levels and finally we get the butterfly/bee/mosquito/whatever that is fairly good for how early on you get it. Well in Sinnoh they went a different route and not only do Burmies (the first stage) not evolve until level 20 (!!) but also if you wind up with a female you just get these fugly creatures and NOT the butterfly you were promised. That only happens if you have a male Burmy (sexist).
if we're going by those comparisons, I think the Burmy line only went a different route bc Kricketot was supposed to be the early game Bug type despite its evo line being two stages. Heck you can catch that before you even get the ability to get Burmy and at that point the Kricketot line has the potential for Bug Buzz which is good against Psychic and Dark types making it somewhat viable for late game so why even bother with Burmy at that point?

tho if you have Platinum might as well just use Houndoom for late game bc why not tongue.gif
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