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 Predict Daily Newspaper Headlines front page for tomorrow, use your crystal ball or your cynicism... |
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 25th May 2016, 03:23 PM
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#21
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 BuzzJack Legend
Joined: 18 July 2012
Posts: 22,851 User: 17,376 
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QUOTE(richie @ May 25 2016, 10:08 AM)  REVEALED! VACUOUS REALITY STAR'S SECRET TELEPHONE CALL TO TABLOID NEWSPAPER! Now that sounds just too fanciful to believe....and probably true with regard to (insert C-list celeb name here) 
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6th June 2016, 01:07 PM
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#22
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 BuzzJack Legend
Joined: 13 April 2007
Posts: 36,676 User: 3,272
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CONFUSION AS TRIBUTES PAID TO DEAD MUSLIM
Confused Sun readers have been flooding our switchboard after we reported that tributes had been paid to a dead Muslim. Muhammad Ali, who was foreign and black as well as being a Muslim, died on Friday night. |
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6th June 2016, 04:58 PM
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#23
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BuzzJack Legend
Joined: 18 July 2012
Posts: 22,851 User: 17,376
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QUOTE(Suedehead2 @ Jun 6 2016, 02:07 PM) CONFUSION AS TRIBUTES PAID TO DEAD MUSLIM Confused Sun readers have been flooding our switchboard after we reported that tributes had been paid to a dead Muslim. Muhammad Ali, who was foreign and black as well as being a Muslim, died on Friday night. The actual Sun headline is about as tasteless as you can get, making an amusing pun of his death. Chortle chortle. Twats. |
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21st June 2016, 01:26 PM
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#24
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BuzzJack Legend
Joined: 13 April 2007
Posts: 36,676 User: 3,272
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Vote Leave Or This Kitten Gets It - Daily Express
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21st June 2016, 04:47 PM
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#25
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BuzzJack Legend
Joined: 18 July 2012
Posts: 22,851 User: 17,376
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Too obvious
the likely headline would be turkish immigrants flood in to rape our kittens within 2 years. Cyprus top politicians interviewed saying their hated historical enemy will get a Cyprus support to join the European union due to swarms of kittens in Cyprus. No way will they veto the country occupying half the island. Not never no sirree... |
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22nd June 2016, 06:23 PM
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#26
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BuzzJack Legend
Joined: 13 April 2007
Posts: 36,676 User: 3,272
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VOTE LEAVE - IT'S WHAT MAGGIE AND CHURCHILL WOULD HAVE WANTED - Daily Express
PETS TO BE CULLED BY EU ORDER - The Sun The EU is poised to announce new regulations on domestic pets on Friday after the result of the referendum is declared. Any pets which do not meet strict height limits set for each breed of dog or cat will have to be destroyed within three months. Dogs will be forbidden from barking between the hours of 9pm and 7am. These rules are on a secret list of 378 new regulations seen by The Sun. EU ARMY POISED TO INVADE - Daily Mail Thousands of EU troops stand poised to invade Britain on Friday if the country votes to remain in Europe. Their first job is expected to be to welcome boatloads of immigrants as early as Saturday morning. SCOTTISH HOPES REST WITH ICELAND - Daily Mail in Scotland Scotland's Euro 2016 hopes now rest with Iceland as the plucky island nation face England on Monday. |
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22nd June 2016, 06:56 PM
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#27
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 Say that hiss with your chest, and...
Joined: 24 May 2016
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The Star - something about Big Brother
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23rd June 2016, 05:19 PM
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#28
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My mother said, to get things done, you better not mess with Maj
Joined: 28 October 2014
Posts: 5,765 User: 21,319
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QUOTE(Suedehead2 @ Jun 22 2016, 06:23 PM) PETS TO BE CULLED BY EU ORDER - The Sun The EU is poised to announce new regulations on domestic pets on Friday after the result of the referendum is declared. Any pets which do not meet strict height limits set for each breed of dog or cat will have to be destroyed within three months. Dogs will be forbidden from barking between the hours of 9pm and 7am. These rules are on a secret list of 378 new regulations seen by The Sun. If they publish that, Franck Pavloff has grounds to sue for plagiarising Brown Morning. |
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23rd June 2016, 05:30 PM
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#29
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BuzzJack Legend
Joined: 13 April 2007
Posts: 36,676 User: 3,272
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QUOTE(Taylor Jago @ Jun 23 2016, 06:19 PM) If they publish that, Franck Pavloff has grounds to sue for plagiarising Brown Morning. And my defence would be that, as far as I know, I have never heard of either of them 
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23rd June 2016, 06:10 PM
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#30
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My mother said, to get things done, you better not mess with Maj
Joined: 28 October 2014
Posts: 5,765 User: 21,319
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QUOTE(Suedehead2 @ Jun 23 2016, 05:30 PM) And my defence would be that, as far as I know, I have never heard of either of them Brown Morning was a book published in 1998 in which all non-brown dogs and cats had to get killed. The protagonist has his non-brown dog killed, and replaced by a brown dog, but the government then decree that all people who have ever owned a non-brown dog or cat must be arrested. For some reason, despite not having much success upon publication, in 2002 it started becoming popular in France... 
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23rd June 2016, 06:41 PM
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#31
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BuzzJack Legend
Joined: 18 July 2012
Posts: 22,851 User: 17,376
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All Scottish papers
TRUMP MET WITH MEXICAN FLAGS FLYING OVER HIS GOLF COURSE As Donald Trump visits his golf course, the residents who refused to sell their properties to him for peanuts, and who were publicly insulted individually and specifically by Trump, before having 20 foot earth walls and tree plantations erected next to them so as not to spoil the view from the golf course, put up mexican flags as a show of support against his insulting comments. The flags can be seen from the golf course. Courtesy CNN |
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25th June 2016, 06:03 PM
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#32
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BuzzJack Gold Member
Joined: 29 April 2006
Posts: 3,392 User: 519
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Daily Express.
12-year-old Caucasian girl with eye defect spotted in Burkina Faso. Is it Madeline? |
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25th June 2016, 07:41 PM
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#33
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BuzzJack Legend
Joined: 18 July 2012
Posts: 22,851 User: 17,376
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ALL PAPERS
TRUMP DIES AT 70 Donald Trump dies at the Golf Course in Scotland. His playing companion makes the mistake of asking him what 12 multiplied by 9 is and Trump's brain explodes under the pressure of doing two things at once. Hillary Clinton is quoted as saying this headline is in very bad taste, as she knows Trump will be following her to the Grave and beyond muttering crooked-Hillary, and this is just playing mind-games with her Presidential hopes. |
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26th June 2016, 05:43 PM
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#34
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BuzzJack Legend
Joined: 13 April 2007
Posts: 36,676 User: 3,272
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EU'VE BENN FIRED - Whichever tabloid employs the worst punster.
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10th July 2016, 10:38 AM
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#35
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BuzzJack Legend
Joined: 13 April 2007
Posts: 36,676 User: 3,272
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Several papers will have two potential headlines lined up for tomorrow
BRITISH TRIUMPH AT WIMBLEDON or SCOT MURRAY FLOPS AT WIMBLEDON Apart from pro-indpendence papers in Scotland. They will choose from THIS WIN IS FOR SCOTLAND, SAYS TRIUMPHANT MURRAY or ENGLAND-BASED MURRAY LOSES AGAIN |
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11th July 2016, 11:56 AM
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#36
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BuzzJack Platinum Member
Joined: 7 March 2006
Posts: 13,207 User: 66
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Tomorrow will be on the line of May The Force Be With You with Theresa May dressed as either a good or bad person from Star Wars based on if the paper likes her.
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11th July 2016, 01:47 PM
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#37
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BuzzJack Legend
Joined: 13 April 2007
Posts: 36,676 User: 3,272
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Which paper will do a composite picture accompanied by the headline MAGGIE MAY?
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11th July 2016, 06:46 PM
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#38
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BuzzJack Legend
Joined: 18 July 2012
Posts: 22,851 User: 17,376
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QUOTE(Suedehead2 @ Jul 11 2016, 02:47 PM) Which paper will do a composite picture accompanied by the headline MAGGIE MAY? They'll all be kicking themselves they didn't think of it before you did...
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28th August 2016, 02:08 PM
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#39
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BuzzJack Legend
Joined: 13 April 2007
Posts: 36,676 User: 3,272
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This isn't a prediction, just a comment on one of today's front pages. The Mail headline claims that the government has decided to redirect some of the overseas aid budget to the "fight against terrorism". Naturally, they are all in favour of this and claim that it is another triumph for them. They also advertise a free world map for every reader. Presumably, this is to enable readers to mark the countries where people die as a result in the loss of aid.
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28th August 2016, 08:19 PM
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#40
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BuzzJack Legend
Joined: 18 July 2012
Posts: 22,851 User: 17,376
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Yes, the Rags have got worse since Brexit, all puffed up with self-importance thinking their drivel-peddling tosh and lies will in some way force the government to do what they want. As we all know, the government only does what Rupert Murdoch wants, they don't pay attention to any BRITISH power-mad selfish billionaires.
Even within their own paper they contradict themselves, eg Brexit in one of the scummy rags they both said Brexit was a marvellous success already (it's not even happened yet so everything to do with the topic is pure speculation) and a few pages later that Business was having problems. |
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