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RobBob
post Jan 12 2015, 02:24 PM
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PULLING

I was going to make this thread the other day given a conversation I was having with Oricon and LexC - but this is a topic questioning the art of 'pulling'.

Largely for me when I think of this, I think of trying to get with people in a club, but this topic can be broadened out as far as going on dates etc which is essentially still pulling someone just not in so much of a sleazy sense. Since starting university, I realise how much my confidence has grown as I would never have dared to go up to someone in a club and try and 'pull' them about 7 months ago, it just would not have happened but I've realised I'm actually pretty decent at it.

Do you have the confidence to do it yourself? Do you just not really care, you'd rather spend time with your friends anyway so this sort of thing doesn't even cross your mind or bother you? Are you a serial pulling machine (no, Lee, you're fooling nobody before you nod your head to this one)?

DISCUSS x
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Sinner
post Jan 12 2015, 02:31 PM
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I have never been the puller - always the pullee.
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ionderella
post Jan 12 2015, 02:31 PM
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I never pulled anyone in a club but I've been pulled several times. It's so scary and even though my confidence improved significantly it's still weird initiating contact. The weirder thing is that I know I'm fabulous and that they would be REALLY SILLY to reject my advances but an anxiety wave comes on and sweeps me away each time I contemplate doing it. I'll probably get used to it once I'm around the club scene long enough (IF I need it in the future as well, seeing I'm now a taken hoe~) but now it's like a nightmare scenario.
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LexC
post Jan 12 2015, 02:44 PM
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Honestly, It doesn't cross my mind at all in a night out situation. I'm pretty much what Rob's second question said in that a night out for me equals having fun with my friends and all of that kind of thing is just an unnecessary complication.

Plus the benefit of not being "conventionally attractive" is that there's a 97% chance nobody's looking at me anyway so frankly all of this is completely theoretical.
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RobBob
post Jan 12 2015, 02:45 PM
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See, I rarely ever seem to have been 'pulled' myself. But then, and this is actually going to sound kinda arrogant probably, I don't know if guys can always tell I'm gay. Or girls given that a girl started rubbing her arse against me last night, started feeling my penis and then noticed her boyfriend so shouted f*** OFF in my face.
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Noahspike
post Jan 12 2015, 03:07 PM
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I'm only ever inclined to do it in a club when I've been drinking a fair amount and get a bit bored - otherwise I'd find the whole scenario far too cringe-worthy and I'd be terrified I'd be publicly rejected (which I don't think has ever happened thankfully, although there's a very good chance I don't remember certain instances unsure.gif, but I do remember once having to go for it like three times before it was eventually reciprocated! drama.gif - gahhhhhhhhhh that's a painful memory. pirate.gif)

The one time I got with someone in a club while sober was because we got separated from our mutual friends and quickly ran out of conversation and I just randomly panicked, not knowing what else to do! Luckily it worked out cos it would have been hella awkward otherwise.

As regards being pulled, my very first kiss was in a teeny bopper disco when this really tall girl strode up and gobsmacked* me out of absolutely nowhere. Such a special moment. heart.gif

*I've just realised this may be an Irish/Dublin phrase but basically she shoved her tongue down my throat without warning. mellow.gif


This post has been edited by Noahspike: Jan 12 2015, 03:33 PM
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Winter Wombatlan...
post Jan 12 2015, 03:28 PM
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It is this that emphasises everything that I hate about clubbing, if just because every time I went it always became about pulling and never about the good times with friends, didn't really help that most people I was with were great at it, and in an atmosphere like that, well it just wasn't fun at all sad.gif Idk, it may just be that I can't really let myself loose in that situation because of my social problems/anxieties, but...it's not for me.

I get the appeal if you're pissed and want a bit of fun and can take rejection/have a lot of self confidence, but it just doesn't appeal to me at all, trying to talk to someone romantically if you're surrounded by loud drunk students with booming music so I can't hear myself think.

Plus, the long terms benefits aren't great either. A lot of stories I hear of people who successfully 'pulled' wake up with some randomer in bed they can't remember the name of kink.gif


This post has been edited by Chez Wombat: Jan 12 2015, 03:28 PM
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Mistletheo
post Jan 12 2015, 04:27 PM
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I mean clubbing is for pulling right? And then ~censored~ too, of course.

It's been a fairly dry period back in Leeds bar one ~censored~ but all too often I tend to go for straight guys in clubs as well, so my being back in London where the Holy Trinity of G-A-Y, Late and Heaven are I will be more than back in my element!
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TheGrinch
post Jan 12 2015, 05:40 PM
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Is that Rooney in the picture?
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Nadolig Llawen!
post Jan 12 2015, 05:41 PM
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Usually the puller, but actually found myself pulled last November and quickly. Now I don't usually get much attention but I walked into a pub and within 20 seconds I was sucking face with a random girl. She came up to me, asked if I was single, if I was a farmer (was sort of dressed like one I guess) and then told me I was really gorgeous and sexy. She then asked for a hug, I obliged and one thing lead to another. My mates were howling in the background.
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t=SpunderfulXmas
post Jan 12 2015, 05:47 PM
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This diagram explains it all very simply

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Klampus
post Jan 12 2015, 05:57 PM
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QUOTE(LexC @ Jan 12 2015, 02:44 PM) *
Honestly, It doesn't cross my mind at all in a night out situation. I'm pretty much what Rob's second question said in that a night out for me equals having fun with my friends and all of that kind of thing is just an unnecessary complication.

QUOTE(Chez Wombat @ Jan 12 2015, 03:28 PM) *
It is this that emphasises everything that I hate about clubbing, if just because every time I went it always became about pulling and never about the good times with friends, didn't really help that most people I was with were great at it, and in an atmosphere like that, well it just wasn't fun at all sad.gif Idk, it may just be that I can't really let myself loose in that situation because of my social problems/anxieties, but...it's not for me.

I get the appeal if you're pissed and want a bit of fun and can take rejection/have a lot of self confidence, but it just doesn't appeal to me at all, trying to talk to someone romantically if you're surrounded by loud drunk students with booming music so I can't hear myself think.

These are both kind of my views on it. I go on a night out to enjoy myself with my friends and I don't really think of it. I don't like the idea of going on a night out with the aim of pulling every single time.

(There may also be the factor that I don't have the confidence to do it, believing I'll get rejected or they'll end up having a boyfriend ph34r.gif However, I don't like the idea of one night stands either way)
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TheGrinch
post Jan 12 2015, 06:07 PM
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The only time that I've not been comfortable pulling is when I get out a committed relationship, mainly for the reason that I wouldn't want to cause myself any possible grief.

I usually prefer having an enjoyable night with the lads without going out looking to pull. I've got enough confidence to approach girls in bars and nightclubs and alcohol only helps the matter.
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Yuki On Ice~
post Jan 12 2015, 06:36 PM
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I have never had the confidence to try. Seriously, that sort of thing really scares me that it'll come off wrong somehow and it'll look sleazy (that and rejection, but I'm working on that, it's the other issue I'm really concerned about). And in the noisy atmosphere of a club where talking is much less of an option it's far easier for it to look like that.

Not that I even go clubbing that much anymore, it's quite boring aside from that aspect and if you're no good at it.. well. Just when I do go I'll have to practice confidence.
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Rooney
post Jan 12 2015, 07:33 PM
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QUOTE(Wall-e @ Jan 12 2015, 05:40 PM) *
Is that Rooney in the picture?


To be fair I was thinking that at first aswell!

Weirdly I'm actually more confident when I'm sober.
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Popchartfreak
post Jan 12 2015, 08:21 PM
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The one time in my life I started a conversation successfully led to 11 years and counting, sort of. The rest of the time, I can't be ars*d as it's undignified once you get to a certain age. I have, however, been chatted up by people half my age (and double!) and I'm never rude if anyone has the nerve to talk to me, which is more nerve than I ever had!

I'm not and never have been, hot, good-looking or self-confident, but I still get pleasantly surprised now and again from those who are.. laugh.gif
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Martyn
post Jan 12 2015, 10:22 PM
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I don't think I am bad looking, but I suffer from resting bitch face (I look like a miserable twat most of the time basically). So I don't really get approached.
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TheGrinch
post Jan 12 2015, 10:23 PM
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QUOTE(Iz~ @ Jan 12 2015, 06:36 PM) *
I have never had the confidence to try. Seriously, that sort of thing really scares me that it'll come off wrong somehow and it'll look sleazy (that and rejection, but I'm working on that, it's the other issue I'm really concerned about). And in the noisy atmosphere of a club where talking is much less of an option it's far easier for it to look like that.

Not that I even go clubbing that much anymore, it's quite boring aside from that aspect and if you're no good at it.. well. Just when I do go I'll have to practice confidence.


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Tawdry Hepburn
post Jan 12 2015, 10:34 PM
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I never go out with the intention of pulling anyone and I'm usually too shy to make the first move, but if I'm feeling brave (or drunk) enough I will sometimes make an attempt at eye contact and see what response I get, then I can take it from there.

Of course, in some clubs it's a lot easier to talk to people/pull than others... tongue.gif
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*Tim
post Jan 12 2015, 10:36 PM
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Too shy
Too insecure
Too drunk

This basically sums me up on a night out
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