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jjake
post Feb 20 2015, 01:23 PM
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jenny from human resources
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me and bal have just been talking about grudges and more specifically holding one. i have a very close friend holding one against me for things she has done herself to me in the past but she seems to have forgotten that. i'm thinking of just ending the friendship at this stage if she's willing to be that hypocritical...
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jjake
post Feb 20 2015, 01:26 PM
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jenny from human resources
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well that was quite the anecdote, meant to add more oop

i was wondering if anyone else has every held a grudge? do you struggle to get over things? has anyone held one against you?
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Simon.
post Feb 20 2015, 01:29 PM
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Rather than holding a grudge I'm usually just quiet with people, distance myself for a while. I think holding grudges is a waste of time, may as well have your space and move on. If you don't talk again then it shows your friend isn't worth talking to depending on the situation I guess, especially if they don't make an effort to resolve anything. It's just life if you don't talk again, lots of friendships drift apart.
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HausAlone
post Feb 20 2015, 01:30 PM
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Henrietta R Hippo
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As i said, i had a little grudge with a friend from secondary school towards the end of two years being the best of friends. We slowly drifted after the incidents, and neither of us felt big enough to apologise to the other. I haven't spoken to her ONCE since leaving school and i always regret the fact that i held onto the grudge at the time, because it seemed like a friend-for-life type thing between us.

I think that's the one grudge that i held that has properly impacted me, and for how negative the fallout was, it's not something i wish to do again!
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Simon.
post Feb 20 2015, 01:46 PM
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After saying all my spiel I've just realised I held a grudge for over a year (last year) after all my close friends became best friends with my ex who we had a turbulent relationship for 3 years and didn't end well. All because I wanted to stop going on nights out as much and save money, so because my ex was always out they all became best friends and there was me like mellow.gif while they was out most nights. Then suddenly my ex knew all my business from when we wasn't together from my 'close' friends and everything they used to hate about him and stress about to me didn't matter any more. I still don't really speak to these people now, not out of choice just because our paths don't cross and I have a better circle around me now. Because of all this I felt uncomfortable going to the places I used to and purposely avoided them which I think is so silly now.
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Tyler
post Feb 20 2015, 01:50 PM
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No wonder there's panic in this industry, I mean please...
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Grudges are kind of hard to control, don't you think? It's not like you can just decide to not be angry or upset with someone... and holding a grudge can sometimes just happen without you realizing its a grudge.

I would never willingly hold onto a grudge... But, I definitely hold one against my dad even though I hate to admit it. Not because he's not an asshat, but because it's simply a waste of energy to hate or be upset over something you cannot change. Distance yourself and maybe time will let it heal... or maybe not. The mind is a strange and unpredictable thing at times.
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Popchartfreak
post Feb 20 2015, 06:03 PM
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grudges shorten your life with stress and bad thoughts and are pointless, for anything short of criminality.

Nobody's perfect, get over it, and if one gets through friends like a knife through hot butter probably need to look in a mirror. My friends are for life, no matter what, and if anyone gets mad at me I don't let them stay mad, and vice versa.
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*Callum
post Feb 20 2015, 06:26 PM
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i think that i'm too soft-hearted to hold at least a 'proper' grudge tbh. if it's a result of something that's my fault then of course i'd apologise however if it wasn't my fault, all it would take was someone to sincerely apologise for me to forget my 'grudge' so to speak.

this actually reminds me of eastenders last night when kim wouldn't accept Denise's apology and denied her offer to come to the hospital w/ her & the baby. stuff like that just breaks my heart. WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ON?!!1!1!!1

*sigh*
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Crazy Christmas
post Mar 12 2015, 06:06 PM
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QUOTE(안녕안녕 @ Feb 20 2015, 01:26 PM) *
well that was quite the anecdote, meant to add more oop

i was wondering if anyone else has every held a grudge? do you struggle to get over things? has anyone held one against you?



Yes I have a grudge against someone who wronged me. I stuck a passport size pic of them in the face of a voodoo doll that my wife brought me from the Philippines and stuck many pins in it. I've heard that he's having a lot of bad luck now so must be working! wacko.gif I highly recommend them.


This post has been edited by Common Sense: Mar 12 2015, 06:08 PM
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Tawdry Hepburn
post Mar 12 2015, 08:05 PM
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QUOTE(Common Sense @ Mar 12 2015, 06:06 PM) *
Yes I have a grudge against someone who wronged me. I stuck a passport size pic of them in the face of a voodoo doll that my wife brought me from the Philippines and stuck many pins in it. I've heard that he's having a lot of bad luck now so must be working! wacko.gif I highly recommend them.


I hear they're more foolproof if you get a lock of their hair and sew it into the doll. Try that and see if it's more effective!
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Crazy Christmas
post Mar 12 2015, 09:04 PM
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QUOTE(mr_aly @ Mar 12 2015, 08:05 PM) *
I hear they're more foolproof if you get a lock of their hair and sew it into the doll. Try that and see if it's more effective!



Hmm. Thanks for the tip but that may prove rather difficult to obtain! unsure.gif
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Martyn
post Mar 12 2015, 09:14 PM
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For me, I have a really long fuse, and although people can irritate me, I don't really get mad over it. I don't really get angry, but I think because it takes so much to piss me off and make me snap, that once I am pushed to that point, it is pretty much a point of no return. I don't really feel like boring you all with the details, because then who would buy my autobiography. So yeah I do hold grudges.
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jark
post Mar 14 2015, 02:23 PM
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something you consider rare
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I'm really very good at grudges. As if it's a skill or something. I just mean that if I feel strongly enough about the situation, I won't be the one to crack and reach out with an olive branch.
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Candlelit Snow
post Mar 14 2015, 03:19 PM
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QUOTE(Common Sense @ Mar 12 2015, 07:06 PM) *
Yes I have a grudge against someone who wronged me. I stuck a passport size pic of them in the face of a voodoo doll that my wife brought me from the Philippines and stuck many pins in it. I've heard that he's having a lot of bad luck now so must be working! wacko.gif I highly recommend them.



According to the Sun, that's why England played so badly against some side in the 2010 World Cup! laugh.gif

I agree with this method!! Quick, everyone, take your enemies to have passport photos done with you or tot he hairdresser!

QUOTE(HausofFrasier @ Feb 20 2015, 02:30 PM) *
As i said, i had a little grudge with a friend from secondary school towards the end of two years being the best of friends. We slowly drifted after the incidents, and neither of us felt big enough to apologise to the other. I haven't spoken to her ONCE since leaving school and i always regret the fact that i held onto the grudge at the time, because it seemed like a friend-for-life type thing between us.

I think that's the one grudge that i held that has properly impacted me, and for how negative the fallout was, it's not something i wish to do again!



Ha that sounds pretty similar to what happened to the B.uffy/ Charmed of the seet once. Now we only talk a little.
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Liаm
post Mar 14 2015, 04:32 PM
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Honey I rose up from the dead I do it all the time
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I am too good at this. Dangerously close to being petty even! There are people who used to be mean to me in year 7 or whatever who I still can't be arsed with even if they're nice now. I don't do it ALL the time, but if somebody really hurts or angers me it takes a lot for me to get over it.

For example, I really fell out with a guy who used to be my best friend, it kind of slowly went downhill after I told him (before anyone else) that I was gay and he told someone else - just randomly at work experience! Luckily I was friends with the girl and grew close to her later, but still that's not the point. Other things happened, like because of me his crush found out he likes her etc. and we didn't talk for a while. We do talk now, we're in the same circles, but things aren't even close to how they used to be and there's still something hanging over us really.
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*Tim
post Mar 14 2015, 04:35 PM
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I'm a pro at this. Once you go on my bad side, it's very hard to come back to my good side
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