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> words, do they hurt you?
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*Callum
post Feb 20 2015, 07:31 PM
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how sensitive are you to words? say if someone were to call you a 'b*tch' or a 'f*ggot' or even a 'wh*re', how offended do you tend to get if at all?

the reason i ask is just because lately i've come across a few characters who just seem to get really upset when certain things are said (speaking as an outsider obvs) and i wondered how everybody else felt?

now i have quite a dry even dark humour and therefore it takes a little more than name-calling to infuriate me... how about you?

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JosephCarey
post Feb 20 2015, 07:32 PM
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It depends on the context entirely. Something like "bitch" or whatever wouldn't have any impact but words hurt more than many seem to think - I know I've felt quite hurt by things that have been said over the internet for example.

Name-calling doesn't bother me though normally, it's quite childish really.
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*Callum
post Feb 20 2015, 07:35 PM
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oh yeah context is crucial. i'm quite lucky in the sense that i've never really fallen victim to bullies' words before but in good jest things can be said and upset people, i take it all in good fun but others deal w/ it completely differently.
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Simon.
post Feb 20 2015, 07:43 PM
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Takes ALOT to offend me I reckon, words are just noise.
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M.
post Feb 20 2015, 07:46 PM
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I used to take offence so so quickly to everything when I was younger. I'm a lot more chilled about these things now, although there is still the odd time where I feel like people are being unfair to me.
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JSG
post Feb 20 2015, 08:03 PM
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I am only Human <3
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Riser
post Feb 20 2015, 10:13 PM
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Yeah I'm pretty sensitive to that. Those kind of names I would never ever say to someone so I tend to expect the same treatment in return. Even if it's meant as a joke, you can't trust that the other person will hear or read it that way.
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April
post Feb 20 2015, 10:16 PM
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I've got quite a thick skin, name calling doesn't really affect me. Words are just words, it's usually actions which show have someone truly feels.
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NellyEverySundae
post Feb 21 2015, 08:51 AM
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I get called a b**ch quite often, obviously in a joking manner so that's all very fine but I don't often get called names in the intention to upset me so if it does happen I would probably be quite affected by it.
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Tyler
post Feb 21 2015, 10:59 AM
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No wonder there's panic in this industry, I mean please...
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It is COMMON PRACTICE to call my greatest friends, "bitch", "f***er", "shithead", etc. And it's vice versa, I would never use those words in a serious manner.

I am personally unoffendable. You could go as far to say that I'm pretty into myself when it comes to my appearance and personality (it's been a VERY long journey to get to that point). But, I also surround myself with people that agree, at least personality wise....(a friendship should largely be about building each other up).

I think the only thing that offends me is when people talk shit about Britney Spears. I have gotten into actual physical altercations over this bitch. But, that's also because everyone knows that's the only thing that can set me off. Idk why I'm so emotionally invested in her, at least to THAT point (she is better than ur fave though so lol bye). But, let it be noted that I love to make fun of Britney too. But, I would never go out of my way to tell someone their interests are shit? What's the f***ing point in that? If anything maybe you can learn about that topic/interest/artist from the point of view of someone that adores them.

SO IN SUMMARY.

Call me a faggot?
-ok so this is a rude way of saying I'm homosexual, whatever. Not wasting energy over it.
Tyler, you are ugly.
-lol, no I'm not ~vogue pose~
Hey Tyler, BRITNEY SPEARS f***ing blows and I hate your music taste.
-Yeah, shits gonna get heated like an easy bake oven. Rude f***.

I already know I'm mentally unstable. Lol.


This post has been edited by toxic_air: Feb 21 2015, 11:09 AM
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bipolar angel
post Feb 21 2015, 11:49 AM
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depends.

if online, i tend to stop using the forum

if their's say 200 members and 1 of them says something to me, i'll leave the site- even though the other 199 have never caused any issues

sometimes, (only if i trust them), i'll contact the moderator (or 1 of the moderators) and tell them to keep an eye on that individual

i also have lo self esteem, so offline if someone did that, i'd probably just say something like... yeah, i all ready know that- you don't need to tell me. i all ready know, and that person would defenetly want to avoid me for an extended period of time.

strangely enough though, i'm not offended by rude songs

in fact it's almost impossible to offend me- i'll listen to weird al, rucca rucca ali, kevin wilson, and not at all be put off
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Suedehead2
post Feb 21 2015, 12:03 PM
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I wouldn't want anybody to feel they need to leave Buzzjack because of one individual. If any members make a remark which makes you consider leaving, please refer it to one of the mods or to me.
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bipolar angel
post Feb 21 2015, 12:06 PM
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QUOTE(Suedehead2 @ Feb 21 2015, 12:03 PM) *
I wouldn't want anybody to feel they need to leave Buzzjack because of one individual. If any members make a remark which makes you consider leaving, please refer it to one of the mods or to me.



thanks.

is their somewhere on the site where i can get a full list of moderators

smile.gif
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Tyler
post Feb 21 2015, 12:11 PM
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No wonder there's panic in this industry, I mean please...
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Bipolar angel, why would you just instantly agree with someone because they were offensive towards you? Is that a type of defense mechanism? Or am I misunderstating your statement? And I'm seriously asking! Hell, I pretended to be a girl on CC and a couple months into this site because I was told only women would be accepted for liking men. I came into this community absolutely terrified to identify as a homosexual in 2005. Because, you know I could have totally masked it with this BRITNEY obsession thing.

You seem like an incredibly nice and sincere individual and I'd hate to think people poke at you at all, especially on here!
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bipolar angel
post Feb 21 2015, 12:17 PM
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QUOTE(toxic_air @ Feb 21 2015, 12:11 PM) *
Bipolar angel, why would you just instantly agree with someone because they were offensive towards you? Is that a type of defense mechanism? Or am I misunderstating your statement? And I'm seriously asking! Hell, I pretended to be a girl on CC and a couple months into this site because I was told only women would be accepted for liking men. I came into this community absolutely terrified to identify as a homosexual in 2005. Because, you know I could have totally masked it with this BRITNEY obsession thing.

You seem like an incredibly nice and sincere individual and I'd hate to think people poke at you at all, especially on here!



it's a self esteem issue

so, to put it in to context, if someone thought they were useless and no good, and then someone told them that, they'd be like yes... well, that's right. i know that all ready.

it comes from not being told otherwise.

does that make sense?
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Tyler
post Feb 21 2015, 12:21 PM
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No wonder there's panic in this industry, I mean please...
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Yes, I understand.

I hope you know that you are valued in this community and if anyone talks to you that way or makes you feel like less of a person, let me know. We will get it sorted out my friend. <3


This post has been edited by toxic_air: Feb 21 2015, 12:21 PM
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bipolar angel
post Feb 21 2015, 12:24 PM
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QUOTE(toxic_air @ Feb 21 2015, 12:21 PM) *
Yes, I understand.

I hope you know that you are valued in this community and if anyone talks to you that way or makes you feel like less of a person, let me know. We will get it sorted out my friend. <3



thank you..

i certainly will
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Suedehead2
post Feb 21 2015, 01:17 PM
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QUOTE(bipolar angel @ Feb 21 2015, 12:06 PM) *
thanks.

is their somewhere on the site where i can get a full list of moderators

smile.gif

If you go to the bottom of the main forums page, there is a series of links to lists of mods. They are also listed against each separate forum on the same page. You can also use the Report button to report an individual post to the forum's mods.
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Popchartfreak
post Feb 21 2015, 01:38 PM
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QUOTE(bipolar angel @ Feb 21 2015, 12:17 PM) *
it's a self esteem issue

so, to put it in to context, if someone thought they were useless and no good, and then someone told them that, they'd be like yes... well, that's right. i know that all ready.

it comes from not being told otherwise.

does that make sense?


Never listen to other people's opinions of you (unless they are tactfully suggesting ways of helping you) - people who are saying negative things are usually doing it for themselves, from their own problems and issues, and most likely lack compassion and empathy. Not worth spending any time mulling over what they are saying cos what they are mostly saying is "me me me".


Also sometimes words pop out and can be taken the wrong way, a throwaway line or comment which really meant nothing much can become this massive thing that was never intended.


As for words directed to me, it's all context, I get called all sorts of things by friends (banter) and that's fine. If a stranger directed an insult at me, that's different. First reaction is to ignore it, then spend 20 minutes thinking of the clever comeback I should have made, which is very annoying. Sometimes I confront them though if I'm not feeling that mellow, especially when someone is picking on someone else.

I couldn't hold my tongue when some loud-mouthed Vicky Pollard with baby in tow started spouting racist bullshit at our sweet Chinese-chip-shop lady because of a misunderstanding over an order. The usual coming into this country taking our jobs crap. I had to butt in, "well Ive never had any problem making myself understood nd no-one's forcing you to come in here so piss off, I don't want to listen to this sort of crap" at which point she tried to have a go at me.

I somehow managed to avoid pointing out she was the one living off the state, that the chip shop pay business rates and contribute to her benefits, and that maybe she could have waited until she had a job and money before getting pregnant at 18. That would have been very unfair, I'm sure it was just an accident....
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*Callum
post Feb 21 2015, 01:40 PM
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QUOTE(bipolar angel @ Feb 21 2015, 11:49 AM) *
depends.

if online, i tend to stop using the forum

if their's say 200 members and 1 of them says something to me, i'll leave the site- even though the other 199 have never caused any issues

sometimes, (only if i trust them), i'll contact the moderator (or 1 of the moderators) and tell them to keep an eye on that individual

i also have lo self esteem, so offline if someone did that, i'd probably just say something like... yeah, i all ready know that- you don't need to tell me. i all ready know, and that person would defenetly want to avoid me for an extended period of time.

strangely enough though, i'm not offended by rude songs

in fact it's almost impossible to offend me- i'll listen to weird al, rucca rucca ali, kevin wilson, and not at all be put off


thnx for sharing. just know that you shouldn't ever feel unwanted as even if your offline life isn't as great as it could be, people want you here.
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