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> What ONE thing would you change about yourself?
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HausAlone
post Jan 4 2016, 05:53 PM
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Henrietta R Hippo
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A bit of self-depreciation for a Monday evening but with all this new year, new me shit, what thing would you LOVE to change about yourself if you had the chance. Talking as small as something quite meaningless or something grand and huge.

For me.. and this might be quite controversial, but i'd change my sexuality sad.gif I feel odd saying it and i'm sure some people might take offence to that(?) but it's the one thing that stops me being totally happy with myself and my family. I came to the realisation over the holidays that it'd probably never be totally accepted by my family and I don't even hold enough pride in my own sexuality or joy from it to warrant risking any of them. I don't know, it's a strange one. I am part of the gay community and have a lot of gay friends and regularly go to gay clubs and social events.. but I still feel detatched from it and wish I could change it about myself oops~

That or my nose...

So YOURSELF. What one thing would you change about yourself (and then can others please jump in and assure people that post that they don't need to change that because they're beautiful the way they are sob.gif)


^that is a mirror.

(aside: I felt really off writing that OP but I wanted to say it, so there you go~ judge away if need be sad.gif)
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TheGrinch
post Jan 4 2016, 06:04 PM
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I wish I can make my thing a little bit smaller.

In all seriousness, I really want to get a nose job, my nose is beyond horrifying and it's something I've became rather conscious over the last couple of months.
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Slade
post Jan 4 2016, 06:04 PM
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Oh goodness where do I start. I'll not be too hard on myself here and just pick out one thing! I wish I wasn't so awkward. sad.gif It holds me back a hell of a lot. My confidence is ever-so-slightly growing but I'm still really insecure and find it hard to socialise properly, it will quite often be a front. But I'm getting there. Ever so slowly.

Looks-wise I'd want to change like everything, but particularly my ears, that will be happening eventually ;o

(Bray kinda melts my insecurities away anyway ;_; *messT happy moment*)
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TheGrinch
post Jan 4 2016, 06:06 PM
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QUOTE(Jade @ Jan 4 2016, 06:04 PM) *
Oh goodness where do I start. I'll not be too hard on myself here and just pick out one thing! I wish I wasn't so awkward. sad.gif It holds me back a hell of a lot. My confidence is ever-so-slightly growing but I'm still really insecure and find it hard to socialise properly, it will quite often be a front. But I'm getting there. Ever so slowly.

Looks-wise I'd want to change like everything, but particularly my ears, that will be happening eventually ;o

(Bray kinda melts my insecurities away anyway ;_; *messT happy moment*)


Stop ruining it.
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Colm
post Jan 4 2016, 06:06 PM
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I'm not sure I'd be any better with women than I am with men but I guess I'd have grown up less messed up if I was straight.
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t=SpunderfulXmas
post Jan 4 2016, 06:06 PM
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Social anxiety is my biggest weakness and affects me in most every day life, so that ofc.
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Slade
post Jan 4 2016, 06:06 PM
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It's true though... :x

@Lee

Edit: This thread landed at like the height of me feeling super emotional, sorry. Will shut up now.
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mdh
post Jan 4 2016, 06:11 PM
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I'd change my lack of social skills and inability to communicate with anyone I haven't known all my life. I'm fine with talking to people online but I hate my constant fear of saying something wrong in a conversation to someone. Online I have time to think about what I post which is why I spend so much time doing so, as it's the closest to social interaction I get, other than being at school, where I only talk to my group of friends. Work is good, because I do it on my own and don't have to talk to anyone.

I'd like to be able to meet new people and not be so afraid when appoaching people.
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*Tim
post Jan 4 2016, 06:14 PM
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I can only pick one?

That'd be my face kink.gif
For real tho, I'd change my bone structure if I could. Jawline/Cheekbones I wish I had sad.gif
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Christmas Cherry...
post Jan 4 2016, 06:17 PM
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Physically, I'd like to change my weight.

I feel honestly so stupid/ridiculous posting this, because obviously it's a thing I could change about myself, but honestly I find it so difficult. An accident a few years ago lead to me having to give up all sport and since then I've piled on weight, and just never got around to getting it off. I've been trying since the accident to get back into sport (something which was interrupted by having a second accident just over a year ago :|) but I've been finding it really difficult??? I don't have any physical problems doing exercise now on the most part (apart from being careful of course with certain things) but I'm just super unfit and lacking so much motivation, I need to work on something where I can build up fitness/stamina. In the past I used to horse ride every day, and I loved it and it kept me super fit, but I'm not able to do that nowadays due to lack of money/time and can't find any other way of keeping fit which I can stick to regularly/enjoy (if anyone has any suggestions please help me). Diet wise I have been trying a lot harder there, and I eat better nowadays then I did last year, but there is probably still more I could do, but obviously diet alone isn't going to help me. Plus, when I do tend to stress eat... which leads me to my next point

Mentally, I want to change (well stop) the way I get so stressed, usually over small things. For example, sometimes just going to a friends house will make me super super anxious, to the point where I've made myself ill before because I've been too scared to go stay over. I don't know where this comes from, and rationally I know the things I worry over are stupid, but I find so many social situations SO daunting- but like I couldn't even tell you all WHY I'm actually so afraid? I don't know if I'm the only one who feels like this sometimes sad.gif I will admit this has got better in the past couple of months, due to me having slightly~ higher self esteem but every now and then being invited to a certain social situation will freak me out.

I'm so sorry this post was rambling, to be quite honest I'm typing this super quickly because I know otherwise I'll never hit the "add reply" button :')
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CodySleighBell-y
post Jan 4 2016, 06:18 PM
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Is it possible to be socially awkward and a social butterfly at the same time? I feel like that describes me. Like it's easy to talk to people but not so much trying to connect with them for a longer-than-the-length-of-a-party basis.
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Nadolig Llawen!
post Jan 4 2016, 06:30 PM
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I would be a lot thinner.
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ʟɪɴᴅs.
post Jan 4 2016, 06:35 PM
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In all honesty I can't think of only one thing I'd change, there's just so much about myself that I'm not okay with, but I'm finding that rather than trying to change it's probably a better idea to learn to accept those things about myself and hopefully that will make me happier.

In saying that, my weight is something that has been a massive issue all through my teenage years and I've hated myself because of it and I think a lot of the other things I don't like about myself stem from that, ie confidence, anxiety, the general view I have of myself (when you think so little of yourself it's hard to believe that anyone else could think any differently) People have the idea that if you think you're too big, diet and exercise. Problem solved, but its not that easy, especially when you have a medical condition that slows down your whole metabolism and makes you feel lethargic all the time. I definitely thought that if I wasn't so overweight all my problems would be solved and I would be happier through high school but over the past couple of years I've realised that that's not an excuse for everything and that I can be happy in myself without being half the size I am, so I'm working on that more than anything this year but yea my weight is still something I'd like to change and my health in general.

I feel really nervous even just posting this but this is a good topic and it's important to know that no matter how someone comes across online, there could be a whole other element to them that impacts their life hugely that you don't know about, so it's always good to share that and there's such an amazing community on here it's great that we have the opportunity to happy.gif
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HausAlone
post Jan 4 2016, 06:36 PM
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QUOTE(princess_lotti @ Jan 4 2016, 06:17 PM) *
Physically, I'd like to change my weight.

I feel honestly so stupid/ridiculous posting this, because obviously it's a thing I could change about myself, but honestly I find it so difficult. An accident a few years ago lead to me having to give up all sport and since then I've piled on weight, and just never got around to getting it off. I've been trying since the accident to get back into sport (something which was interrupted by having a second accident just over a year ago :|) but I've been finding it really difficult??? I don't have any physical problems doing exercise now on the most part (apart from being careful of course with certain things) but I'm just super unfit and lacking so much motivation, I need to work on something where I can build up fitness/stamina. In the past I used to horse ride every day, and I loved it and it kept me super fit, but I'm not able to do that nowadays due to lack of money/time and can't find any other way of keeping fit which I can stick to regularly/enjoy (if anyone has any suggestions please help me). Diet wise I have been trying a lot harder there, and I eat better nowadays then I did last year, but there is probably still more I could do, but obviously diet alone isn't going to help me. Plus, when I do tend to stress eat... which leads me to my next point

Mentally, I want to change (well stop) the way I get so stressed, usually over small things. For example, sometimes just going to a friends house will make me super super anxious, to the point where I've made myself ill before because I've been too scared to go stay over. I don't know where this comes from, and rationally I know the things I worry over are stupid, but I find so many social situations SO daunting- but like I couldn't even tell you all WHY I'm actually so afraid? I don't know if I'm the only one who feels like this sometimes sad.gif I will admit this has got better in the past couple of months, due to me having slightly~ higher self esteem but every now and then being invited to a certain social situation will freak me out.

I'm so sorry this post was rambling, to be quite honest I'm typing this super quickly because I know otherwise I'll never hit the "add reply" button :')

Aww Lotti sad.gif That first bit will hopefully be something that comes with time. I'd definitely focus on the diet because that will eventually help with the fitness stuff! I won't pry into the specifics, but an accident or accidents would naturally lead you to be fearful of getting back into sport and it's no wonder you're finding it difficult. Just take small steps - a casual walk before dinner around your block, or a light bit of cardio before gradually building it up and getting more and more into it. If you like listening to music, put an album on go for a walk (or jog if you're feeling up for it!) and it'll fly by with the music. Those are small steps that can hopefully get you out and about and ready to get back into sport eventually.

On the second point, you're not alone in that. I think it might be helped with the self-confidence from the fitness thing but you're so incredibly bubbly and lively on here it'd be a shame to hide that away in real life. Good to hear you're building your self-esteem up, keep at it <3

(aside you're BEAUTIFUL if that gallery pic is anything to go by - you have no need to be stressing about weight and the likes but I know it's easier said than done from an outsider)

(failing all of that blast 'Born This Way' the album, it'll help no end sob.gif)
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gooddelta
post Jan 4 2016, 06:39 PM
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My OCD tendencies...everything has to be straight, neat, tidy etc...it bugs me if anything is out of place (even small things like the microwave dial being back at the start if nobody is using it!).

It's quite annoying and probably something I could stop if I really tried, but not got there yet laugh.gif
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Christmas Cherry...
post Jan 4 2016, 06:50 PM
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QUOTE(ℒ𝓲𝓷⻤ @ Jan 4 2016, 06:35 PM) *
I feel really nervous even just posting this but this is a good topic and it's important to know that no matter how someone comes across online, there could be a whole other element to them that impacts their life hugely that you don't know about, so it's always good to share that and there's such an amazing community on here it's great that we have the opportunity to happy.gif


This is really lovely Lindsey, and also sums up how I felt about posting my ramblings heart.gif (ofc we would change our avatars to matching marina pepes before coming to discuss serious stuff kink.gif)

To your actual post, I won't respond to it in too much detail here because we've discussed these things before, but you know I'm always here for you and I love you however you are heart.gif

QUOTE(HausofTroye @ Jan 4 2016, 06:36 PM) *
Aww Lotti sad.gif That first bit will hopefully be something that comes with time. I'd definitely focus on the diet because that will eventually help with the fitness stuff! I won't pry into the specifics, but an accident or accidents would naturally lead you to be fearful of getting back into sport and it's no wonder you're finding it difficult. Just take small steps - a casual walk before dinner around your block, or a light bit of cardio before gradually building it up and getting more and more into it. If you like listening to music, put an album on go for a walk (or jog if you're feeling up for it!) and it'll fly by with the music. Those are small steps that can hopefully get you out and about and ready to get back into sport eventually.

On the second point, you're not alone in that. I think it might be helped with the self-confidence from the fitness thing but you're so incredibly bubbly and lively on here it'd be a shame to hide that away in real life. Good to hear you're building your self-esteem up, keep at it <3

(aside you're BEAUTIFUL if that gallery pic is anything to go by - you have no need to be stressing about weight and the likes but I know it's easier said than done from an outsider)

(failing all of that blast 'Born This Way' the album, it'll help no end sob.gif)


Haus, thank you so much for this lovely response, I did tear up a bit reading through it wub.gif

You've hit the nail on the head with being fearful of getting back into sport, I'm extremely worried of something happening again so this stops me from putting real effort in. Small steps is definitely the way to go, and I'm going to make a promise to you all, and myself, that I'll put more effort in this year regarding my fitness smile.gif (oh lord did I just make a NY resolution thinking.gif)

(Also YAS GAGA, she is defo who I blast whenever I'm feeling particularly down wub.gif)
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HowToPronounceMa...
post Jan 4 2016, 07:04 PM
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The social skills/anxiety thing is an interesting one for me because I was going to say that as well and almost certainly wouldn't even have hesitated about saying that a while ago, but now I'm not even so sure what the deal with that is. I can definitely be awkward and anxious sometimes but then other times I'm fine in a conversation with anyone and can enjoy it. Maybe it's just that I've grown in confidence a bit so can handle situations better because of that or something. However, I still have moments where I just worry that I won't be able to think of anything good to say and will look really awkward or stupid. And sometimes I genuinely can't think of "the right thing" to say in real life, in social situations, which annoys me. I'm rather moody too in some ways tbh so sometimes I will feel really eager to talk to people and then other times I will just want to retreat. There's a thing called "outgoing introvert", I've been reading about it lately and I can relate to bits of it and sometimes I wonder if maybe I actually am one of those. I also probably can come across quite different online than in real life sometimes.

So I'm still figuring that stuff out! lol

I also wish my eyesight was perfect. It's really annoying not being able to see properly when I go swimming, for example. I wear glasses and the thought of putting/having contacts in my eyes irks me as well so I can't be dealing with the thought of that right now either.

(oops that was two)

I'm here for all y'all <3
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ʟɪɴᴅs.
post Jan 4 2016, 07:05 PM
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QUOTE(princess_lotti @ Jan 4 2016, 06:50 PM) *
This is really lovely Lindsey, and also sums up how I felt about posting my ramblings heart.gif (ofc we would change our avatars to matching marina pepes before coming to discuss serious stuff kink.gif)

To your actual post, I won't respond to it in too much detail here because we've discussed these things before, but you know I'm always here for you and I love you however you are heart.gif


Omg I can't at our Pepe timing laugh.gif

The same to you too Loltit wub.gif , even at 3am when you wake up in the middle of the night thinking there are murderous puppets or clowns in your room yes I remember that kink.gif
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Winter Wombatlan...
post Jan 4 2016, 07:05 PM
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I'd definitely change my social skills/social UNDERSTANDING in general. I mean I am gradually getting better by the year, but really it does make life so much harder being such a big introvert in an extroverted world.
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Colm
post Jan 4 2016, 07:13 PM
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I was socially awkward until I was 25 then something changed. I just became popular and at ease with people. I was the center of the social circle at work. I make friends easily, almost instantly if I want. I've made more friends in my 30s than I ever had before.

It gets better, guys.
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