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HowToPronounceMa...
post Feb 14 2016, 01:08 PM
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I wasn't sure if this was too similar in a way to the Dating thread (which in itself was very similar to the Relationships thread but who really cares) but this is more specifically geared towards people who are single. Many people are currently celebrating Valentine's Day and I really am happy for them, but let's talk about the other side of the coin.

For those of you who are single (*raises hand*), why do you actually think you're single? And do you enjoy it?

For those of you who are NOT single, any wise words?

I'm really tired of it at this point, if you haven't gathered already from some previous posts, and the reason I am probably is that I haven't found it in me to put myself out there enough in real life. Also, no one likes me on Tinder or anything lol. The last experience I had which could've turned into something "official" didn't work out for reasons I'm not even sure about. I find it difficult to meet people I'm into, basically, and I can be pretty awkward in conversation too (talking moreso about real life here). I mean, I can manage, but an actual connection rarely happens. However, I remain hopeful.

Don't be shy~
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lewistgreen
post Feb 14 2016, 01:27 PM
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I quite like being single, but I feel that's because I've become too accustomed to being so. I don't think I put myself out there as much as I probably could. I mean I have the same boring ol' dating apps on my phone but the whole 'gay scene' is not my thing at all and I don't think I'm going to start going out just for that. I'd rather go out with my friends and jam to some bopz on a Friday/Sat night than look for someone to be with.

I don't know. Maybe things will change. I've spent most of my adult life single so I'm not remaining hopeful in the slightest laugh.gif

Happy Valentine's Day eh.
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Rooney
post Feb 14 2016, 01:51 PM
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Meh I like being in a relationship, but I also like being single. Right now I'm sort of single, but sort of seeing someone. I kinda like it that if I'm honest. Being in a relationship is great, as long as it's a happy one, otherwise it's a nightmare. I can't be arsed with bullshit unless I really like someone, and whilst I love hanging out with a girlfriend it can get quite boring if you don't really like them... or start using the dreaded L word.

As you can probably tell, I hate commitment.
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ionderella
post Feb 14 2016, 02:05 PM
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i haven't been in a proper relationship where i would get to a point that i really REALLY like someone. so i don't know what i'm missing out on there. being single is pretty great as well. you don't depend on anyone, you don't have to explain yourself when you're not in the mood to go anywhere or do anything to your boyfriend. but at the same time it'd be quite kewl every once in a while to curl up with a boyfriend and watch a movie or something. but after a couple of days this would probably get super boring unless i like them very much. which i don't see happening here ever because everyone here is fugly and has plenty of issues.
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Winter Wombatlan...
post Feb 14 2016, 02:19 PM
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It's honestly never really bothered me that much. I just have too much on my plate atm (mainly job wise) to devote the time to look for a relationship. It's odd as I often worry about the future but with this I'm fine to take an 'it'll happen eventually, no rush' approach and hold it off until I've sorted my life out a little bit and truly found the right person (I'm not the type to 'experiment' or 'go on the pull' either, it has to be serious and built on trust).

Don't get me wrong, I definitely want to have a relationship eventually and it would be amazing having that one special person, but at this stage in my life, I'd rather be free to fulfil my own needs rather than worry about being alone/tying myself down.


This post has been edited by Chez Wombat: Feb 14 2016, 02:19 PM
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Regina
post Feb 14 2016, 02:22 PM
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I'm the only one in my circle of friends who is single and I spend a lot of time hearing them all moan about their husbands/boyfriends laugh.gif so I don't feel like my life
is any less enjoyable for being single. That being said, there are odd moments they say something and I'm like "aw I want that", although don't really do much to change
that. I've put baby steps into the dating world but it always ends up a big fail, I thought I was close to something, met someone, went out, had a good time, but then he seemed to forget I existed and didn't reply to my messages, which kinda hurt since all I knew was that he liked me and wanted to go out again, oh well, his loss.

If it happens it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't. If all else fails, I'll get a dog and live in the mountains writing a novel or something.
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Yuki On Ice~
post Feb 14 2016, 02:43 PM
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Being single has lots of great benefits, like getting to cry yourself to sleep without anyone seeing you. And pondering where the hell your life is going without a SO speaking up and interrupting your train of thought.

But like, for real, I would definitely rather be single than in the wrong relationship. And it is actually fine for most purposes and I'll probably be able to live my life single and free for a good while yet, but if the right girl comes along, that would make me incredibly happy because I feel there would be nothing better than having someone I was able to share everything with and have company I'd never get bored of. As I'm introverted, that sort of person doesn't come along very often if at all.

But like, I'm optimistic that it'll happen eventually and Chez just posted pretty much everything I was going to say about that. I'm mainly single because I don't make an effort as I always feel I'm too busy with work and assignments so at some point I'll decide enough is enough and start to really care.
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Christmas Cherry...
post Feb 14 2016, 03:13 PM
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who needs a relationship when u have dogs???




seriously though, i've been single for 18 years now (kink.gif) and i'm not really feeling like I'm in a huge hurry to change that. If the right person comes along, sure, but I have plenty of time. Neither strongly for or against tongue.gif
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Atonement
post Feb 14 2016, 03:22 PM
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Girl, put in work.
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I think a big reason for me being single is because I'm way, way, way too picky.

I used to dislike being single but after getting a taste of what it's like to be in a relationship I kind of enjoy just messing around for now.
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jakewild
post Feb 14 2016, 03:39 PM
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i hate being single
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Colm
post Feb 14 2016, 04:27 PM
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I'm single. I've always been single. I'm 40 now. I dont know why I have always been single. Perhaps I'm defective in some way. It grinds down my resilience and self esteem and I am envious of people who have found someone to share their life with.

There are guys who like me but I don't really fancy them. The ones I like never liked me back.
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Colm
post Feb 14 2016, 04:28 PM
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QUOTE(Atonement @ Feb 14 2016, 03:22 PM) *
I think a big reason for me being single is because I'm way, way, way too picky.



That makes it sounds like you have been approached or offers have been made but you turned them down. Is that true? Have you turned down or ended relationships for that reason?
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TheGrinch
post Feb 14 2016, 04:46 PM
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this topic has made me feel sad.
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Santa's Coming
post Feb 14 2016, 04:47 PM
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QUOTE(Regina @ Feb 14 2016, 02:22 PM) *
I'm the only one in my circle of friends who is single and I spend a lot of time hearing them all moan about their husbands/boyfriends laugh.gif so I don't feel like my life
is any less enjoyable for being single. That being said, there are odd moments they say something and I'm like "aw I want that", although don't really do much to change
that. I've put baby steps into the dating world but it always ends up a big fail, I thought I was close to something, met someone, went out, had a good time, but then he seemed to forget I existed and didn't reply to my messages, which kinda hurt since all I knew was that he liked me and wanted to go out again, oh well, his loss.

If it happens it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't. If all else fails, I'll get a dog and live in the mountains writing a novel or something.

Im here x
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MauriahChristmaz
post Feb 14 2016, 04:54 PM
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I'm single and at the moment i clearly hate it. I would love to be in a relationship again, but the only good relationships i had ended really bad. I did let a good guy go because of the distance, we are still really fond of each other and maybe we will end up being together when/if i finally moved to the UK.
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Candlelit Snow
post Feb 14 2016, 05:26 PM
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Life is so much queefier than we allow ourselves to think x
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Regina actually has it right.

Finding relationships are kinda like luck and I hate that people like Colm have less self-esteem because of not being in a relationship. This is because society makes us think people are defective if not in a relatioship - 'why are you single? Must be something wrong with you' However this is not true. Finding a relationship is luck now that it's based on love rather than financial things.

Single = freedom.
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mdh
post Feb 14 2016, 05:41 PM
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it doesn't matter, we're all together
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I've been single for as long as I remember, and I don't intend to change that.
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post Feb 14 2016, 05:44 PM
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QUOTE(Virginia @ Feb 14 2016, 05:26 PM) *
Regina actually has it right.

Finding relationships are kinda like luck and I hate that people like Colm have less self-esteem because of not being in a relationship. This is because society makes us think people are defective if not in a relatioship - 'why are you single? Must be something wrong with you' However this is not true. Finding a relationship is luck now that it's based on love rather than financial things.

Single = freedom.


Nice post. I think with me personally, it's like, I don't see myself as defective or something in terms of thinking no one likes me or I'm unworthy of being loved or something like that, because over the past year or so I've actually grown in self-esteem compared to the way I was before, but I don't understand why I don't really make enough of an effort when I completely recognize that I have the potential for a satisfying relationship. That's something that does sometimes make me think, well, maybe there's something wrong with me that I won't really properly do things to live up to my potential and what I want. In other areas too, not just this. However, that's just a fleeting thought that happens when I'm sad and I try to reject it.

So I don't think it's just luck, depending on what way you look at it. Sometimes you do have to actually do something. At least I'm trying a bit, so we'll see how it goes lol
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ML Hammer95
post Feb 14 2016, 05:51 PM
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QUOTE(Rooney @ Feb 14 2016, 01:51 PM) *
Meh I like being in a relationship, but I also like being single. Right now I'm sort of single, but sort of seeing someone. I kinda like it that if I'm honest. Being in a relationship is great, as long as it's a happy one, otherwise it's a nightmare. I can't be arsed with bullshit unless I really like someone, and whilst I love hanging out with a girlfriend it can get quite boring if you don't really like them... or start using the dreaded L word.

As you can probably tell, I hate commitment.


Pretty much agree with this post... word for word!
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Candlelit Snow
post Feb 14 2016, 05:52 PM
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Life is so much queefier than we allow ourselves to think x
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True, but it depends on whether or not romance is a priority, too. Just because it is a priority for some doesn't mean it has to be for others. Due to the role 'romance', or better yet marriage, played throughout most of history, including the rceent past, played in settling down through combining of families, dowries or more recently in paying mortgages, there is an expectation of romance to settle down and therefore the idea of potential you have.

However this is not necessary today. Furthermore, finding someone for financial purposes over romantic was easier than today when the goal is a soulmate, which is far more difficult to find, where luck comes in.

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