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Emily Haines
post Mar 20 2016, 09:36 PM
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This word seems to be popular at the moment. Definition thanks to Urban Dictionary:

"Adulting (v): to do grown up things and hold responsibilities such as, a 9-5 job, a mortgage/rent, a car payment, or anything else that makes one think of grown ups."

Ten years ago I thought I'd move out, hold a stable job and suddenly feel like an adult. Does anyone feel like an adult? I'm still waiting for that moment when I'm suddenly going to feel... in control. I thought hey, maybe once I'm married & own a house it'll feel different. Nope. Does anyone have their sh*t together?!

Do you feel like an adult once you have children?

Or does no one ever feel like an adult and you just make it up as you go along and hope no one calls your bluff?

Growing Up: Ain't all that it's cracked up to be.
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JSG
post Mar 20 2016, 09:44 PM
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I agree with this whole thing you've said. I always think when I was younger I used to listen to my dad talk to his friends and I thought oh I Can't Wait to have a grown up conversation but so far I never feel like I really gave grown up conversations. I have a job, my own home and a pet who I Feel really responsible for but I still feel like an 18 year old rather than the 28 year old I am laugh.gif
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Slade
post Mar 20 2016, 09:46 PM
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I have moments where I feel like an adult. For example, going clubbing after I turned 18 felt like a big 'adult' moment. Besides that I generally don't feel all that adult. In fact I felt more like an adult/in control of everything when I was 17 and had a job and those kind of responsibilities! laugh.gif I thought I'd feel like more of an adult once the change from Sixth Form to Uni happened. But even at Uni when I constantly have to interview people and act all professional and whatnot, I still don't feel like an adult. I feel like someone a lot younger who is putting on this 'professional' front!

I guess I am always destined to have a really young spirit. I don't think I'm going to feel like an adult until a 'major' life decision like buying my first house or getting married or something. We'll see. I don't feel a lot different to how I've felt the past few years! Matured a bit but ultimately retained a childlike optimistic spirit!
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Emily Haines
post Mar 20 2016, 09:53 PM
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QUOTE(JSG @ Mar 20 2016, 09:44 PM) *
I agree with this whole thing you've said. I always think when I was younger I used to listen to my dad talk to his friends and I thought oh I Can't Wait to have a grown up conversation but so far I never feel like I really gave grown up conversations. I have a job, my own home and a pet who I Feel really responsible for but I still feel like an 18 year old rather than the 28 year old I am laugh.gif

The majority of my conversations are just reminiscing about when I was younger!

I totally still feel like 17/18 when I had a bit more responsibility but could still make stupid decisions and it'd be okay. I wish that was still the case!

It's like when a little kid knocks into you, and the mum goes "Oh mind the lady" and you look round for the lady and realise she's talking about you. Makes me weep a little inside.
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MauriahChristmaz
post Mar 20 2016, 09:54 PM
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I'm 28 and i actually feel like a adult lately,i have a steady job,a house and i take care of my own responsibilities. Sometimes the ''kid'' in me comes back but i feel more grown up than a year ago. Maybe because i have to do things for myself more without the help of my parents.
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Slade
post Mar 20 2016, 10:05 PM
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QUOTE(Emily Haines @ Mar 20 2016, 09:53 PM) *
It's like when a little kid knocks into you, and the mum goes "Oh mind the lady" and you look round for the lady and realise she's talking about you. Makes me weep a little inside.

This happened to me the other day and it was quite soul-crushing! Here is one of the rare instances of feeling like an adult that I had forgotten about. laugh.gif
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post Mar 20 2016, 10:19 PM
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I don't even know anymore. I turn 25 in less than two weeks and I feel so strange about it. I don't like how young I seem and sometimes feel. Like you Emily, I always find myself talking about my past, so obviously I have had experiences indeed, some interesting ones and some funny ones! But I can't help but think that there are certain experiences I should've had more of at this stage and sometimes I feel down and get all these negative thoughts, wonder if something has gone wrong etc. And I often find it a little difficult when people are having grown-up conversations near me because I just feel out of place still. I'm often scared to express my opinion about real issues for fear of looking stupid or something, and often I don't even really have an opinion. I'm still studying and don't have a job and don't really know what to do with my life at this point. I look at my life and then I look at others' lives and things just seem... different. However, I know everyone struggles, they may not have their shit together as much as it seems to me! So I'm trying not to freak out about it all, pick myself up and just focus on the positive happy.gif

All that being said, I'm not scared of doing general adult things for the most part. In a lot of ways I'm really independent in general, I don't like the idea of relying on others too much, so I guess in that way I feel like an adult.
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post Mar 20 2016, 10:28 PM
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Well being an adult isn't so bad. I'm 25, but I feel about 19 still. Or I want to be 19 still.

It's weird. I think I shy away from too much responsibility at times, but I also enjoy it. I feel adult when it suits me, but I also still love to be really immature. But tp be honest I think most people are like that biggrin.gif
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post Mar 20 2016, 10:30 PM
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I guess I have kind of had to really grow up in the last two years, I moved out of my mum and dad's in 2014 and into my own flat for uni, in that respect I guess I did feel quite adult as anyone who I knew that had moved away from home for their course had moved into the student halls so it wasn't as quite a big jump for them, possibly? They didn't need to worry about bills or sorting any issues with where they were living as the university would take care of all that, whereas when you live yourself you don't have someone to rely on for that kind of thing. (I don't mean to look down on people who live in university accommodation, appologies if it comes across like that!)

I am very independent though and like my own company, that's probably just to do with being so introverted though, so living alone, moving to a town I know nobody in, figuring things out for myself was all fine for me. It's things like making your own dental appointments or writing letters to the council, making important phone calls etc that scares me and makes me think I should get my parents to help me do this as I'm not ready laugh.gif

Generally though, I don't feel like an adult, even now that I have my own flat, job, living away from home etc.I think everyone wants to stay young at heart, except when you're young, you want to feel like you're an adult and have everything figured out but I don't think anyone ever has it all totally down, there's usually always something. I am turning 20 in a few months and that is freaking me out more than I thought laugh.gif
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Jacobauble
post Mar 20 2016, 10:43 PM
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I'm 21 in around 3 weeks and I don't feel 'grown up' at all. Yes, I don't really like to rely to heavily on other people, I cycle into uni, I like to get around by myself as much as possible, I pay rent and all that, live independently (with housemates that I get along with really well thankfully), voted a couple of times. And yet- I still go home for holidays, the friendships I keep - especially the more long distance ones - seem like young ones (not immature really, just not the 'meet for a coffee' type, more the 'visit for a gaming session, watching a movie or a music session type' laugh.gif ) and I have no idea how I'm going to transition from the 'studying' phase to the 'working full time' phase, and paying individual bills rather than an all inclusive rent. Especially since although I've picked an industry (and I'm certain) I'm not 100% sure what I want to do (with realistic expectations) within it. Still got a year or two I guess.
QUOTE(Jade @ Mar 20 2016, 10:05 PM) *
This happened to me the other day and it was quite soul-crushing! Here is one of the rare instances of feeling like an adult that I had forgotten about. laugh.gif
Ugh yeah, I work in retail a couple of days a week and parents often say to their kids "go on, pass you book/sweets/whatever to the man" and I'm like "who's that now?" I was still in school less than three years ago and I'm still in my 2nd year at uni, I'm not old enough to be 'the man'. laugh.gif

I should shave again, makes me look 16.


This post has been edited by Jacob Alan: Mar 20 2016, 10:44 PM
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Winter Wombatlan...
post Mar 20 2016, 10:55 PM
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Gah, that word is scary, all the responsibilities it comes with, shudder...

I am well within the technical age of adult and in the 'real world', I still don't feel like I have all the responsibilities or 'mindset' of an adult. S'pose I'm still transitioning from student to full time work so I'm not there yet. I find I'm still asking my parents for various things that I can't handle/work out yet and as I always think for just how longer I can do this before I'll have to experience it myself and when things change. I guess it's something that just comes naturally and not all at once. I mean it's been just under seven years since I finished school, just doesn't seem like a long enough gap to be perceived as one.

That said, I feel like I have some of the mindsets that are less' young' per se like spending wisely, staying in most evenings, buying things for myself that I need.
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Suedehead2
post Mar 20 2016, 10:58 PM
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It only gets worse as you get older. I sometimes see a reflection in a window and think "Who's that old bloke?". Then I realise it's me cry.gif
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Emily Haines
post Mar 20 2016, 11:25 PM
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You're all still bairns at 20! You don't need to even think about feeling like an adult yet.

Aww Suedehead, thanks for making me look forward to the future laugh.gif
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post Mar 20 2016, 11:37 PM
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I know this is looking quite a few years ahead, but I kind of don't want to stop being young. Like it will be nice to have responsibilities and go clubbing etc but I just love being young and I'll miss it a lot sad.gif
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Jacobauble
post Mar 20 2016, 11:48 PM
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^Clubbing's not that fun, don't bother. biggrin.gif

Well maybe try it once or twice but it's really overrated. All too often the music's always shitty remixed bass heavy shite that you really only can enjoy when you're drunk. Go to live concerts instead. wink.gif

And don't worry about 'getting old', just enjoy it while you're there (should be saying this to myself too really tongue.gif ). You're still 'young' until you're 40, at the very least really- who need thresholds?


This post has been edited by Jacob Alan: Mar 20 2016, 11:51 PM
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post Mar 21 2016, 12:16 AM
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QUOTE(Jacob Alan @ Mar 20 2016, 11:48 PM) *
^Clubbing's not that fun, don't bother. biggrin.gif

Go to live concerts instead. wink.gif


I have to agree! Live concerts are everything wub.gif I'd much rather spend my night seeing a band live than going out drinking, even when it's more about socialising, I'd rather go hang out at someones house rather than going to a club, I guess it depends on what you want from a night out though.

I fully believe experiencing gigs is one of the best things possible and if I have any money to spare, I am more than happy to spend it on concert tickets as quite often it's a once in a lifetime thing. I don't even mind going to see artists I've never heard of before or I'm not that big of a fan off, it's another experience happy.gif
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Liаm
post Mar 21 2016, 01:12 AM
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Celine you'll love clubbing kink.gif As long as they don't play John Legend remixes xo

On the thread topic tbh I feel like uni makes me far less ready to adult laugh.gif I love just kind of being on here on my own but suspended in between chilldhood and the reality of being an actual adult. I mean I have the responsibility of cooking and looking after myself but I also can just go out all the time, do whatever with my friends when I feel like it, have a takeaway whenever I want etc etc etc. I said on rabbit yesterday, it's scary seeing people my age having babies or getting engaged (not seen any marriages yet!!) when I'll easily sit here eating pasta from the pan so I don't have to wash up a plate as well....
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post Mar 21 2016, 04:10 AM
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I'm somewhere in between. I'm pretty independent, have a proper career job and generally think of myself as an adult at age 24, but I also look young for my age and still live with my parents, and while I'm very helpful around the house I'm still not 100% taking care of myself yet. I'm not ready to fully let go of being one of the kids, and slightly dreading the thought of having a 9-5 job five days a week for the next 40 years or so. But fingers crossed I'll have this life stuff sorted out eventually, and be able to fully embrace and make the most of being an adult.
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5 Silas Frøkner
post Mar 21 2016, 07:56 AM
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Omg welcome back Emily!!


Yeah for me adulting is a serious 0/10 would not recommend. I don't feel ready yet. I'm 27 in June and am starting to come under pressure to actually buy property instead of renting. Send help.
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post Mar 21 2016, 08:09 AM
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I hate being an adult so much! Tbh I don't really feel like a proper fully grown adult, I think thats maybe because I don't have kids.

The fact that I'm 30 next year terrifies me, where the f**k did my 20's go?? nocheer.gif
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