BuzzJack
Entertainment Discussion

Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register | Help )

 
Reply to this topicStart new topic
> Emotional abuse, Anybody experienced this?
Track this topic - Email this topic - Print this topic - Download this topic - Subscribe to this forum
ML Hammer95
post May 24 2016, 08:09 AM
Post #1
BuzzJack Platinum Member
******
Group: Moderator
Posts: 5,478
Member No.: 21,265
Joined: 4-October 14
   No Gallery Pics
 


Has anybody here ever been on the recieving end of emotional abuse from somebody who claims to care and love them? Please feel free to tell us about your experience.

It's something I think I've been on the receiving end of for months, but I want to see if my experience tallies with others before going onto detail about my own.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Colm
post May 24 2016, 12:19 PM
Post #2
Yes, it's me.
******
Group: Members
Posts: 17,077
Member No.: 9,885
Joined: 4-November 09
 


No but I imagine it's something that could be going on for a while before someone notices that it's happening to them.

Can you tell us what has been happening?
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
HarryEzra
post May 24 2016, 01:32 PM
Post #3
Lovin', I'm livin', so we turnin' up
******
Group: Moderator
Posts: 19,168
Member No.: 20,835
Joined: 20-April 14
 


I did go through some emotional abuse while its not why me and my ex broke up it is something that does cause friction and trust issues. My advice MLHammer if she is doing emotional abuse get out quickly as harsh as that sounds. Any abuse can have an effect on people.

What does she do if you dont mind talking about it.

Also I'm free to talk any time if you need to
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
HarryEzra
post May 24 2016, 05:20 PM
Post #4
Lovin', I'm livin', so we turnin' up
******
Group: Moderator
Posts: 19,168
Member No.: 20,835
Joined: 20-April 14
 


Aww ML Hammer that is awful to read glad you got out of it mate yeah some of that is shocking to hear about and the suicide thing happened to me but my ex didn't blame me for it instead he would only bring it up if I tried to break up with him among some other stuff that happened. Anyway point is, I'm sorry to hear that and like I said if you ever want to discuss anything 1-1 feel free to drop a PM I'm here for you mate.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Jade
post May 24 2016, 05:25 PM
Post #5
Mrs Brayden Smith <333
*******
Group: Moderator
Posts: 28,379
Member No.: 12,810
Joined: 18-January 11
 


It's okay and it's not stupid, you can't help who you have a connection with. She sounds like an extremely insecure, controlling and manipulative person so you're better off without her if she's going to take it out on you as she has been.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
ML Hammer95
post May 24 2016, 07:40 PM
Post #6
BuzzJack Platinum Member
******
Group: Moderator
Posts: 5,478
Member No.: 21,265
Joined: 4-October 14
   No Gallery Pics
 


Thank you for your kind and supporting words. Not gonna lie, it has left me shaken and has made me doubt myself while affecting my self-esteem at times.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
HarryEzra
post May 24 2016, 07:49 PM
Post #7
Lovin', I'm livin', so we turnin' up
******
Group: Moderator
Posts: 19,168
Member No.: 20,835
Joined: 20-April 14
 


QUOTE(ML Hammer95 @ May 24 2016, 08:40 PM) *
Thank you for your kind and supporting words. Not gonna lie, it has left me shaken and has made me doubt myself while affecting my self-esteem at times.

If she is controlling and manipulative you are better of without her and anytime mate.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Popchartfreak
post May 24 2016, 08:01 PM
Post #8
BuzzJack Platinum Member
******
Group: Moderator
Posts: 12,766
Member No.: 17,376
Joined: 18-July 12
   No Gallery Pics
 


Controlling and manipulative, as others have said, and also a bit obsessive, immature, inconsiderate, hurtful, and worrying in behaviour. You will be a lot happier away from her, sometimes you can't help people who are filled with rage and jealousy, and they will be happier not being in that emotional state too, albeit bitter.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Riser
post May 25 2016, 04:55 AM
Post #9
It was only a mountain
******
Group: Moderator
Posts: 10,286
Member No.: 19,534
Joined: 14-July 13
 


Eek, try not to beat yourself up over all of this, the last thing you need is to make yourself feel worse. Honestly stuff like this happens to the best people, when you're nice by nature and want to see the best in people and sometimes an insecure person will take advantage of that. Be kind to yourself, easier said than done but it's you who needs it the most.

I hope you're able to keep away from this girl and that she'll leave you alone soon. Will you be moving away when you start uni? That'd be to your advantage if so, though it's still a few months away.

Cheers for being willing to discuss all of that with us, hope it helps!
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
...ready for it
post May 26 2016, 05:11 AM
Post #10
Close the door behind you, please.
*******
Group: Members
Posts: 38,727
Member No.: 1,454
Joined: 25-September 06
 


QUOTE(ML Hammer95 @ May 24 2016, 03:40 PM) *
Thank you for your kind and supporting words. Not gonna lie, it has left me shaken and has made me doubt myself while affecting my self-esteem at times.

It's not you at all, she has a problem and needs serious mental help.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
...ready for it
post May 26 2016, 05:13 AM
Post #11
Close the door behind you, please.
*******
Group: Members
Posts: 38,727
Member No.: 1,454
Joined: 25-September 06
 


QUOTE(ML Hammer95 @ May 25 2016, 12:25 PM) *
Haven't heard from her in three days and I'm so glad.

Hopefully, she stays away. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. Emotional abuse lasts a long time, I still have scars (was bullied at school)
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Tawdry Hepburn
post May 26 2016, 06:52 PM
Post #12
I'll find your lips in the street lights
********
Group: Artist Mod
Posts: 62,444
Member No.: 51
Joined: 7-March 06
 


Something like this is horrible once you're stuck in a position like that, it's always a gradual thing and then you can't escape the situation due to things like guilt, believing you can make it something good or how it was when you first established the connection or feeling like they've done nothing really wrong to warrant you cutting them out of your life. It usually starts with small things due to their trust issues or insecurities and before long it snowballs and evolves in to them stepping it up and trying to control/monitor every aspect of your life. It's also always easy for someone else from the outside looking in to say "just get out", it takes a great deal of strength to pull yourself out of something like that. Hopefully you've managed to now!

I did have one year long relationship about 4 years ago whereby the first 6 months were amazing and then signs of jealousy crept in when he saw a completely innocent conversation on a Facebook post as 'flirting' (it really wasn't), before long he was not trusting me in any respect - making digs and making me feel bad about myself, questioning who I'm with and what I'm doing with friends, who certain people are if he sees me pictured with them and even wild accusations of cheating. It ended up with him actually hacking into my Facebook account and misinterpreting innocent conversations as "sexy chat". He actually went through every person who was on my friend's list at the time and demanded to know how I knew them, and it got to the point where I'd let that happen as he'd worn me down emotionally and shattered my self confidence. I made myself see his good qualities, tried to convince myself it can be as good as it was again, felt I needed to prove he can trust me. After this followed intense arguments daily until it came to a head via a drunken phone call and we ended it. Never saw each other or spoke again.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Mack.
post May 26 2016, 09:44 PM
Post #13
The sports fanatic
*******
Group: Moderator
Posts: 23,363
Member No.: 12,915
Joined: 1-February 11
   No Gallery Pics
 


It's not you at all mate, I hope you are keeping well, I'm sorry to hear about that mate.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
T83:Y96
post May 27 2016, 05:36 AM
Post #14
My mother said, to get things done, you better not mess with Maj
******
Group: Members
Posts: 5,764
Member No.: 21,319
Joined: 28-October 14
   No Gallery Pics
 


This happened to me aswell, and I definitely understand how hard it is to leave. Although I think I can say it was even harder for me, as it was my father.

It all started last May when he threw a hissy fit at my sister for calling our mother while we were at his house. He was spreading vitriol about everyone on our mother's side of the family (whilst driving too). He also refused to let us out of the house. A few weeks later, he launched into a massive tirade. Then, in August, I discovered that he recorded me when he left the house. At this point, I was trying to avoid his presence as much as possible.

Anyway, things got to a head in October when he threw another hissy fit (also whilst driving) and called all my family and friends names, said I was a nothing but a liar, etc. Then I confronted him with the fact I knew he was recording me and he said that I deserved to be monitored because I wasn't trustworthy.

It's at this point that I decided I didn't particularly want to see this individual again, so I took my things from the house later on and left. Haven't seen again since, and I'm glad.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
HarryEzra
post May 31 2016, 10:40 PM
Post #15
Lovin', I'm livin', so we turnin' up
******
Group: Moderator
Posts: 19,168
Member No.: 20,835
Joined: 20-April 14
 


QUOTE(ML Hammer95 @ May 31 2016, 11:31 PM) *
This is all so true I must say. Especially the 'just get out' part, it just isn't that easy.

She has messaged me today. Saying how she's thinking of me, how I've hurt and lied to her and how I've disposed of her like everyone else. All I said back was " I can't talk to you" to which she said don't talk then, only to moan half an hour later that I stopped talking! Absolute batshit crazy. laugh.gif

Oh dear sad.gif Just do what I said if need be but here for you mate!
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Doctor Blind
post Jun 9 2016, 11:03 PM
Post #16
#38BBE0 otherwise known as 'sky blue'
******
Group: Members
Posts: 11,002
Member No.: 7,561
Joined: 27-October 08
   No Gallery Pics
 


Give it time, I'm sure within a few months of being apart and not being in contact (especially for you within a new University environment meeting huge amounts of new people etc.) you will both soon move on - but I agree that it will be difficult. It is definitely for the best by the sounds of it, hope it works out!
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Jacob~
post Jun 9 2016, 11:21 PM
Post #17
Jacob Alan~
*****
Group: Moderator
Posts: 3,334
Member No.: 21,664
Joined: 12-March 15
   No Gallery Pics
 


QUOTE(ML Hammer95 @ Jun 9 2016, 11:22 PM) *


Not to keep spamming this thread, but yesterday I was sent this song by the girl in question. Was told to listen from start to finish and to pay attention to lyrics as they explain everything. Listened but didn't reply.

A small part of me does miss the close contact and connection with somebody, but I cannot go back there. Even if some messages are tempting to reply to I can't, sometimes it takes quite a lot of discipline. Tempting to see if she's contacted for instance, but it isn't best in the long run!

Starting at Manchester University in September and dont need this hanging over me.
Maybe she doesn't even realise what she's doing, everyone almost always thinks they're in the right although she's got to be mentally unstable to some degree to maintain this level of obsession when it's clear you're not interested, especially when she's treated you the way she has. I can't say I've had personal experience with this kind of thing but you're definitely doing the right thing, and like Doctor Blind said going to uni in a few months and meeting new people will likely play a huge part in helping you put this behind you. Don't think of it as "something hanging over you", more as "something that you're leaving behind" when you do go. I don't know how much it'd help but can you block her/ change your number if necessary?
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post


Reply to this topicStart new topic

1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:


 

Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 18th July 2018 - 02:51 AM