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Tyler
post Jul 25 2016, 05:02 AM
Post #1
No wonder there's panic in this industry, I mean please...
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I'm ranting so forgive me.

I am exhausted you guys. I really didn't know what that word meant, until these last couple of months, but, I literally cannot cope with my surroundings. I'm really trying my best and on the MOST HONEST note I thank this community for always being a shoulder to cry on. Really, from the age of 14 years old (I'm now 26) this forum/community is the reason I have been able to dissect my emotions and been able to react in a way that wasn't COMPLETELY destructive towards myself.

I am just heartbroken... And I'm not sure any other way to describe how I feel. I am heartbroken. This past week while I was showering up at the gym I had three men corner me in the locker room asking; "Are you the faggot with the equal rights bumper sticker out front". I denied it out of fear and I'm so ashamed of it. I was so terrified. I feel like such a disgrace for not standing up. I called my boyfriend(ish) to come pick me up because they were outside of my car, waiting for the owner. This was at 1am btw... So, it was just me and them... Calling the cops here is a terrifying option at this point. I'm at a loss...

Today, someone I thought was a close friend, started pressuring me to vote for Trump. And it's just a slap in the face. It's sickening. The entire community I was raised with... doesn't value my life or rights at all, besides a handful of friends/family. I have been told three times in the last week that I am selfish for putting LGTB rights above "the good of the country". And guys, I'm well versed in politics, I'm very self aware. But, how do you battle the thoughts of everyone you thought loved you? (Besides my mom and some very good friends). Everything I grew up with and cherished has spat in my face and called me irrelevant.

I mean, I pretended to be a girl on here at 14 years old, because I thought you guys would never like me if you knew I was a gay guy that loved Britney Spears. I cling to Britney because being her fan since 8 years old is the only thing that hasn't hurt me. I've been psychologically f***ed over and over. And besides a select few, you guys are the only people to ever make me feel normal. But, that makes me so sad. I can only be who I really am on a forum. If I was in real life, I'd be attacked or even killed.

I'm terrified. And I know there is nothing any of you can do. But, please just keep me in your thoughts.
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Math ☂
post Jul 25 2016, 06:36 AM
Post #2
come on down to south park
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Hope everything works out for you. I don't understand what you are going through as I have never experienced anything of the like but if you need someone to vent to or a shoulder to cry on you can PM me or message me on Facebook smile.gif
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MerryFlynnmas
post Jul 25 2016, 09:05 AM
Post #3
Sit Down. Be Humble.
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Tyler that sounds like a terrifying situation to be in, just know, its not you thats the problem, it's the homophobic twits that are, did you ever get your back? I dont know what else to say or how I can help but if you ever need to vent use this as an outlet.
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t=SpunderfulXmas
post Jul 25 2016, 09:19 AM
Post #4
Hang in when the world counts you out and youíre gonna be fine
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Oh not you too Tyler sad.gif

I wish I could be more help other than to say that you're in my thoughts. I definitely understand about how Buzzjack can help distract you from real life problems. In that perspective it's benefitted me a lot, but once you turn off the computer the problems are still there...

It's so sad and frustrating that there still people who are not accepting of everyone because of the person they are or their sexuality. As for the friend who told you to vote for Trump, it sounds like that just suddenly came out of the blue for you. I know how hard it is to have a great friendship and then all of a sudden something like that would happen. Buzzjack is also a great place to meet like minded people who accept you for who you are and you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not; I have gradually got past this as well and people have still accepted me on here which is great. It can be so difficult to deal with people who have such twisted thoughts or opinions and hate on you for not agreeing with them or having a different perception of things and to ignore them, this is especially hurtful when it comes from close friends.


This post has been edited by memebury.: Jul 25 2016, 09:21 AM
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Colm
post Jul 25 2016, 09:28 AM
Post #5
Yes, it's me.
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Tyler - you know we dont have a whole lot in common around here but you're deffo one of my favourite people. You go through all that shit above and you still manage to be a funny and fun person to have around. This community is astonishing but sometimes we miss out on what someone is going through due to our own lives and issues - you know you can always email me if anything I can say helps. Also, you know I'm on Facebook most of my waking hours so get me there too.


x


This post has been edited by Colm: Jul 25 2016, 09:30 AM
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Christmas Cherry...
post Jul 25 2016, 09:29 AM
Post #6
feminist icon
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That was absolutely terrifying to read, I really can't imagine having to live like that sad.gif you have my utmost thoughts and sympathies, I really do wish like Spadam said that I could do more to help than just type a few words on an online forum, it's infuriating that it's 2016 and still people aren't being able to live their lives how they want to die to the closed minds of others.
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ʟɪɴᴅs.
post Jul 25 2016, 09:32 AM
Post #7
Heda
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Aw Tyler that's awful sad.gif I really hope things get better for you as nobody should have to go through that or feel like they can't be themselves. You're right in there's only so much we can do to help but I'm glad you know you're not alone that you have everyone in this little online community supporting you, you don't need to filter any aspect of yourself on here smile.gif if you ever need to rant/vent/chat about anything I'm always here x
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Nadolig Llawen!
post Jul 25 2016, 09:34 AM
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Radical Pink Troll
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I'm sorry to hear all of this, Tyler. I wish there was something we could do to make it better for you. However, stick to your beliefs and try not to let anyone belittle them even if it comes to not talking about the election with certain people. I still can't discuss the EU Referendum with my mum because she voted out and won't see it any other way and I don't want our relationship to suffer.

It sounds like there are some positives in your life. You are loved here and you're in a relationship so I'd hope you do feel loved by him and also Britney is BACK. We all cling to the things that make us happy so try not to feel ashamed of clinging to these things.
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Noahspike
post Jul 25 2016, 01:27 PM
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There's a frisbee in my brunch
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Big love to you Tyler! I've always admired you on here from afar, and I hope you'll derive strength in reading the above and knowing how valued you are by us all. Keep pushing on through all the ignorance and bullshit, exhausting as that is, and you'll overcome it. <3
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Atonement
post Jul 25 2016, 01:43 PM
Post #10
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside.
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QUOTE(Tyler @ Jul 25 2016, 07:02 AM) *
I am just heartbroken... And I'm not sure any other way to describe how I feel. I am heartbroken. This past week while I was showering up at the gym I had three men corner me in the locker room asking; "Are you the faggot with the equal rights bumper sticker out front". I denied it out of fear and I'm so ashamed of it. I was so terrified. I feel like such a disgrace for not standing up. I called my boyfriend(ish) to come pick me up because they were outside of my car, waiting for the owner. This was at 1am btw... So, it was just me and them... Calling the cops here is a terrifying option at this point. I'm at a loss...


That sounds absolutely terrifying.

I think it's very brave of you to have such a sticker in the first place! I'm from The Netherlands, which I assume is more tolerant, and tbh I would be too afraid of confrontation if I had such a sticker. You are absolutely not a disgrace for not standing up, they are a disgrace for cornering you and for not valuing equal rights. Don't put yourself down like that. Would you have been better of if you admitted to being that person to them? I think you did the most sensible thing.

If you have substantial proof I think you should press charges but if the police there doesn't take gay rights seriously then there's no point.

You really don't deserve to live in such an intolerant community. I know it probably sounds like an immense suggestion but have you ever thought about moving away?


This post has been edited by Atonement: Jul 25 2016, 01:44 PM
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Winter Wombatlan...
post Jul 25 2016, 01:58 PM
Post #11
The owls are not what they seem
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I can only echo everyone else really, that scene you described sounds shocking, not the sort of thing that should be happening in 2016 sad.gif I know we've never interacted, but I've always loved how much you are at ease with sharing stuff on here and how positively it seems to impact you, it's the best thing an online community can do really. Just remember that no matter how bad it gets, that as you say, you DO have some people (both on here and off) that care about you and don't judge you, so hold onto them <3

This post has been edited by Chez Wombat: Jul 25 2016, 01:58 PM
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Joe ho ho!
post Jul 25 2016, 02:50 PM
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Awful to hear you feel this way. You know where I am if ever you want to chat as always. xo
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CodySleighBell-y
post Jul 25 2016, 03:57 PM
Post #13
Que eu vou jogar bem na sua cara
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And it's things like that that make me so disgusted in American society. I hate that a campaign with underhanded tactics and a platform centered around bigotry and mob mentality can break even the closest of relationships. It's honestly horrible how closed-minded some people are no matter if they tell you otherwise.

I say don't let what other people believe distract from who you are. How you present your political stances is absolutely admirable and the opposition should be a detriment to your passion. If you need someone, just remember that BuzzJack and the other Americans who are anti-Trump are here to support you. Britney loves you and I love you. heart.gif heart.gif heart.gif
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Slade
post Jul 25 2016, 04:42 PM
Post #14
Mrs Brayden Smith <333
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Huge virtual hugs to you Tyler sad.gif this post upset me and also angered me (at the views people still hold), this really should not still be a thing. Not much to say that hasn't already been said but we're all here for you and care for you!
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Riser
post Jul 25 2016, 04:52 PM
Post #15
King of nothing at all
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I really feel for you Tyler. Some of my closest friends have made similar statements on Facebook about how terrified they are and it hurts just the same to read it from you. I might share one of those messages with you later because it really set my priorities in place regarding the election, and Iím sure youíd relate to it and hopefully feel a little less alone. Iím so thankful that nobody hurt you (or your car? You didnít mention any vandalism) and that someone was able to come pick you up so late at night.

Itís disgraceful that we have to worry about basic human rights for our own citizens in 2016, that something so essential depends on the outcome of an election, and that this outcome depends on other voters who think itís more important to worry about their gun rights or Hillaryís private emails. If anyone is being selfish, itís the people telling you that your rights donít matter and arenít included in "the good of the country". Donít ever feel selfish when THEY are selfish for not being able to see past their own privileges. Iíll be voting not for my own benefit but for loved ones who have been through the same things and you and deserve the same rights as everyone else, including a basic sense of safety and protection. Is that so much to ask?
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Umi
post Jul 25 2016, 05:24 PM
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le compromis n'est qu'un synonyme d'ťchec
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I can't adequately respond to the experience you had so please just know you're not alone. There are so many people who stand with you when things like this happen, and there will always be someone around to talk to you after you get out of situations like that, whether it be a partner or a friend or someone that just happens to be on BuzzJack at 4am (hi).

I know everyone always drops the "PM me anytime you want!" line but really, please do. If you ever need someone to talk to and there's nobody you'd rather talk to around, I would be more than happy to be that person to talk to.

More permanently I don't think you have any choice but just... leaving the place where this stuff happens to you, which might suck to hear but it's true. You deserve to live somewhere you're comfortable and free to be you, Tyler.
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Yuki On Ice~
post Jul 25 2016, 05:33 PM
Post #17
masala me
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Tyler, you are a lovely, warm person and that's always come across through your posts so I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling down, and I will absolutely keep you in my thoughts, what you are going through sounds awful and it really is a shame that people think that doing that sort of thing is acceptable in general society.
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Jacobauble
post Jul 25 2016, 06:40 PM
Post #18
Merry Christmas <3
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So sorry to hear that Tyler, I know we've not interacted really before but it really makes me angry how some people think doing that sort of thing is ever ok. It's completely beyond me, especially over something tiny like a bumper sticker.

You've got a supportive community here and keep that in mind, think of the people on here and in real life that do support you, they're what really matters.
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Snow❄Diploughmat
post Jul 25 2016, 06:47 PM
Post #19
Life is too short for shade.
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I know you probably don't know me much on the site but all I wish you all the best and hope you feel better soon.

You are right though in that there is a lot of respect and goodwill on this site to everyone compared to the outside world, no matter what their background or musical tastes are and I hope that long continues.
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Mack'sXmasSack
post Jul 25 2016, 07:19 PM
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Everyone on here fully respects you. It angers me deeply that in 2016 people still act that away to the LGBT community.

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