BuzzJack
Entertainment Discussion

Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register | Help )

 
Reply to this topicStart new topic
> Funny Puns thread
Track this topic - Email this topic - Print this topic - Download this topic - Subscribe to this forum
Rudolph
post Aug 1 2016, 10:01 PM
Post #1
Infamy Infamy they all got it in for me
********
Group: Chart Mod
Posts: 122,796
Member No.: 2
Joined: 5-March 06
 


It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Cucumberella
post Aug 1 2016, 10:10 PM
Post #2
controlo qualquer um com a minha bruxaria
******
Group: Moderator
Posts: 19,757
Member No.: 9,403
Joined: 8-August 09
 


Lack Toast And Taller In More Ways
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
t=SpunderfulXmas
post Aug 1 2016, 10:21 PM
Post #3
Hang in when the world counts you out and youíre gonna be fine
*******
Group: Members
Posts: 20,532
Member No.: 21,005
Joined: 20-June 14
 


The one about the signs! Forever a classic and my fave wub.gif
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Rudolph
post Aug 1 2016, 10:27 PM
Post #4
Infamy Infamy they all got it in for me
********
Group: Chart Mod
Posts: 122,796
Member No.: 2
Joined: 5-March 06
 


What did the egg say to the boiling water? "Sorry, it's going to take me a while to get hard, I got laid last night."

I took the rear view mirror out of my car, and since then.. Iíve never looked back.

I was gonna nail a shelf to my wall, but then I thought Screw it!

My girlfriend told me to stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe.

You canít call it Viagra anymore!! Copyright law!! You now have to use it's proper medical name... Mycoxafloppin

I prefer local jokes. They're right up my street.

I never realised my brother was stealing from his job as a road works supervisor, but I suppose when I went home all the signs were there.

I got really emotional this morning at the petrol station.. I don't know why.. I just started filling up.

couldn't be a taxi driver me , I hate people talking behind my back !!!
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
jakewild
post Aug 1 2016, 10:27 PM
Post #5
not 152chris (☻‿☻)
******
Group: Members
Posts: 10,971
Member No.: 2,790
Joined: 2-February 07
   No Gallery Pics
 


QUOTE(Cucumberella @ Aug 1 2016, 11:10 PM) *
Lack Toast And Taller In More Ways

ur lack toast and tolerant? it's 2016, grow up 😒
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
t=SpunderfulXmas
post Aug 1 2016, 10:37 PM
Post #6
Hang in when the world counts you out and youíre gonna be fine
*******
Group: Members
Posts: 20,532
Member No.: 21,005
Joined: 20-June 14
 


The other day the electric went and all the bulbs blew and I had to call an electrician. He wouldn't stop going on about the fiver he lost on his way to my house so I told him to lighten up.

(I'm so bad at these lmao)
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
bipolar angel
post Aug 2 2016, 09:44 AM
Post #7
BuzzJack Enthusiast
****
Group: Members
Posts: 1,380
Member No.: 20,494
Joined: 20-January 14
   No Gallery Pics
 


this one will take me a while to write (so bear with me!)

bob and betty hill are driving home from a party. it is raining and because it is late evening, it is dark

bob is driving, and he is tired. before he knows what's happened, he crashes the car in to a tree. he looks across at his wife who is bleeding and unconcious

bbob knows he needs to get help, but it's raining outside and he really does not fancy getting wet

their is no other choice though, so he grabs his wife, opens the car door and walks out in to the rain

now, as luck would have it, they are near a house with a light on- so they run towards the light.

bob knocks on the door and a man answers.

bob explains the situation and asks if he can use the phone

the man tells him that he has a better idea, if they were to come in, he could fix the car- while his friend looks at betty
tired from the walking, bob manages to get as far as the lounge before collapsing to the floor. at the same time, an elder man comes down the stairs and explains that he's a scientist

bob tells him, we don't need a scientist, we need a doctor- but the scientist is having none of it, and carries both bob and betty to his lab and places them on operating tables

several hours later, after working on them for a very long time, the scientist informs the younger man that both bob and betty had died

saddened by the loss, the younger man starts playing some haunting music on his piano

meanwhile, back downstairs, the scientist is clearing up after his work. out of the corner of his eye, he sees bobs fingers move to the music, and then betty's toes move

soon they are both sitting upright feeling as good as new.

the scientist goes upstairs, bursts in to the young man's room and explains.. you are not going to believe this!. the hills... the hills are alive with the sound of music!


This post has been edited by bipolar angel: Aug 2 2016, 09:47 AM
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post


Reply to this topicStart new topic

1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:


 

Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 15th December 2017 - 08:12 AM