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danG
post Dec 14 2016, 12:04 PM
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Because who doesn't love awful pun-based jokes at Christmas time? Share your faves.

---

What happens when you eat tinsel?

...You get tinselitis. basil.gif

Why does Santa have three gardens?

...So he can hoe hoe hoe basil.gif

What does Santa suffer from when he gets stuck in the chimney?

...Claustrophobia basil.gif
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Oliver
post Dec 14 2016, 12:08 PM
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What is Santa's favourite place to deliver presents?
Idaho-ho-ho!
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richie
post Dec 14 2016, 02:06 PM
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Q. Why is Santa's sack so full?
A. He only comes once a year.

Sorry for that...
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cqmerqn
post Dec 14 2016, 02:46 PM
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QUOTE(richie @ Dec 14 2016, 02:06 PM) *
Q. Why is Santa's sack so full?
A. He only comes once a year.

Sorry for that...


ohmy.gif
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Cassidy
post Dec 14 2016, 04:54 PM
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Is this just general Christmas cracket chat? If so I'd like to bring to the table my yearly dilemma of wanting to try some upmarket, fancy crackers with fancy prizes but also realising that just DEFEATS THE OBJECT COMPLETELY.

Has anyone tried anything-but-basic crackers and approve/disapprove? Dandy* I reckon you're my best bet!
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Cherry.
post Dec 14 2016, 04:57 PM
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we had waitrose crackers last year?
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Cherry.
post Dec 14 2016, 04:57 PM
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i got a pair of nail clippers
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Cassidy
post Dec 14 2016, 05:02 PM
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Did they have fancy wrapping?
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Cassidy
post Dec 14 2016, 05:02 PM
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Nail clippers LEAVE A LOT TO BE DESIRED
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Cherry.
post Dec 14 2016, 05:12 PM
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they were tartan
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danG
post Dec 14 2016, 05:16 PM
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I don't like the crackers with "gifts" in them, they always turn out to be useless crap that gets thrown out. Also don't like the charades ones.
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Hiß
post Dec 14 2016, 05:17 PM
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I don't really like the sound of Christmas crackers when they are pulled as I don't really like loud noises (balloons bursting too).
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danG
post Dec 14 2016, 05:18 PM
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I never liked popping balloons either, it's always when you least expect a loud sound to be made too.
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Hiß
post Dec 14 2016, 05:19 PM
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QUOTE(richie @ Dec 14 2016, 02:06 PM) *
Q. Why is Santa's sack so full?
A. He only comes once a year.

Sorry for that...


This is almost as bad as Common Sense's jokes.


This post has been edited by Snakin' Stevens: Dec 14 2016, 05:23 PM
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Cherry.
post Dec 14 2016, 05:20 PM
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i really like the smell of crackers after you've pulled them
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Hiß
post Dec 14 2016, 05:22 PM
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QUOTE(Dancember @ Dec 14 2016, 05:18 PM) *
I never liked popping balloons either, it's always when you least expect a loud sound to be made too.


You don't like unexpected loud sounds but are the dance music connoisseur of the forum - ironic laugh.gif

Seriously are there any songs which have unexpected loud noises in them (at weird times)?
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Cherry.
post Dec 14 2016, 05:23 PM
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in make me (cry) the noise in that made me jump the first time i heard it
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Hiß
post Dec 14 2016, 05:26 PM
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QUOTE(angel_lotita @ Dec 14 2016, 05:23 PM) *
in make me (cry) the noise in that made me jump the first time i heard it


In the Kings and Queens by Thirty Seconds To Mars video...there is a very loud sound of a car crash in it, which does make me jump a bit.
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Cherry.
post Dec 14 2016, 05:28 PM
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omg the first time i watched the what kind of man video the car crash TERRIFIED me
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danG
post Dec 14 2016, 05:30 PM
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QUOTE(Snakin @ Dec 14 2016, 05:22 PM) *
You don't like unexpected loud sounds but are the dance music connoisseur of the forum - ironic laugh.gif

Seriously are there any songs which have unexpected loud noises in them (at weird times)?

not exactly ironic, there are very few unexpected loud sounds in EDM tongue.gif emphasis on unexpected.
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