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ʟɪɴᴅs.
post May 17 2017, 02:28 PM
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Hey! So I've done this sort of thing before as some of you probably know, but I'm once again looking to hear about some of your experiences that I can maybe incorporate into my primary research for some uni work where I'm focusing on inequality within the LGBTQ+ community and as a lot of you are part of it, it made sense to throw this out here. My hopes are to do an awareness campaign as I think y'all will agree that a lot of the issues facing the community is down to lack of education, general ignorance, no understanding etc. If I can pinpoint some of the misconceptions or stereotypes that people hold, then I can run with them as the basis of my campaign or whatever I end up doing.

Of course there's so soooo many issues that cause discrimination against LGBTQ+ people but I want to know what ones have affected you personally? What's made being part of the community difficult for you or what are the common things you hear that you don't agree with etc. Why is there such an imbalance still and do you think that's ever going to change? Please don't feel you have to be part of the community to contribute to this as well, I'm interested in hearing everyone's thoughts!

Tbh the more open and in depth you are here the better which is why I'm not gonna ask specific questions, I just want to hear about your experiences, thoughts, stories etc just whatever really laugh.gif

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Tombo
post May 17 2017, 03:13 PM
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I was at my city's pride festival last week and some one walked past me and my friend and said "F****G faggots"

I was at a train station a month ago and a lady said that gay people are disgusting, I said I am gay and I am not digusting and I am born this way. Her friends also were not homophobic and disagreed with her.

All the discrimination we face is hard and it is tough being part of a marginalised group.

Before coming out, people make it seem like ocming out is the be all and end all but coming out isn't something that just happens once, it has something I have repeatedly done (or not done) every time I start a new job, move, join a new club or group or even just meet some one new.

Society is still super heteronormative.

Also it is my dream to become a father, I want to have a child with a single lesbian.
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Joe.
post May 17 2017, 03:31 PM
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Great topic for International day against homophobia, transphobia and biphobia Lindsey!


I've never experienced a massive homophobic attack beyond the normal "oi, faggot" and bullying back in high school, but being gay you experience homophobia pretty much every single day because of the hetero-normative society we live in. There's under-representation in entertainment (particularly film), if I hold hands with my boyfriend in public, people stare, every new job I go into I have to actively "come out", because people automatically ask "do you have a girlfriend then", because it's what everyone automatically assumes with everyone. They say you "never stop coming out", because you have to do it so many different situations throughout life when people assume you're straight. I feel like we need to be a lot more fluid with our pronouns and pre-conceived idea of people, because certain groups of people are always going to feel alienated and it fuels homophobia.
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liamk97
post May 17 2017, 03:46 PM
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QUOTE(Joe. @ May 17 2017, 04:31 PM) *
I've never experienced a massive homophobic attack beyond the normal "oi, faggot" and bullying back in high school, but being gay you experience homophobia pretty much every single day because of the hetero-normative society we live in. There's under-representation in entertainment (particularly film), if I hold hands with my boyfriend in public, people stare, every new job I go into I have to actively "come out", because people automatically ask "do you have a girlfriend then", because it's what everyone automatically assumes with everyone. They say you "never stop coming out", because you have to do it so many different situations throughout life when people assume you're straight. I feel like we need to be a lot more fluid with our pronouns and pre-conceived idea of people, because certain groups of people are always going to feel alienated and it fuels homophobia.

Agreed. I personally fight against coming out or labelling myself because I don't think it should be necessary, but that seems too difficult for people to understand. There's usually no malicious intent, but people do seem to act as if they're entitled to know what someone's sexuality is and it's usually the first thing they'll ask if they suspect you're anything other than straight. I've had countless experiences of meeting new people and the first thing they'll ask me is whether I'm gay, just because they've heard gossip or what not. I'd usually tell them I'm not anything, I'm just me and will be attracted to who I want, when I want, if I feel like it. People are so used to people coming out or confirming their sexuality when in fact this is probably the most common example of ignorance or not allowing sexuality to be normal. They get confused when I don't conform to society's way of thinking when it comes to sexuality, so they'll end up bitching and gossiping with their friends and I just don't understand why something as simple as who I am attracted to is somehow the most juiciest piece of gossip that everyone feels entitled to know.

Someone once said that people don't truly accept non-straight people, they're just used to them because everyone knows someone who may be gay, and I'm inclined to agree. If people genuinely accepted it, it wouldn't need to be a big deal. You wouldn't get people pestering you about what sexuality you are, they'd just let you be and you would refer to it as casually as any straight person would.
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dhwe
post May 17 2017, 03:54 PM
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somewhat related, but this is a really good piece to read about how the hyper-awareness of the ways in which you differ from your peers at a young age and the subsequent self-denial leaves a lot of us with unacknowledged emotional trauma that affects how we connect to other people, whether they're straight or in the lgbtq community, and leaves a lot of us with a shattered sense of self that makes us more prone to mental illness and drug/alcohol abuse, even years after our "self-acceptance". i identify so heavily w a lot of the experiences of those interviewed in the piece, it almost hurts.

This post has been edited by dhwe: May 17 2017, 03:58 PM
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jakewild
post May 17 2017, 03:57 PM
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i was dating someone who wasn't really comfortable with doing anything 'gay' in public but after a while he started holding my
hand then someone went past on a bike and called us faggots and he never held my hand in public again and we broke up the week after. he basically got pushed back into the closet lol.
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Tombo
post May 17 2017, 04:11 PM
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QUOTE(liamk97 @ May 17 2017, 04:46 PM) *
Someone once said that people don't truly accept non-straight people, they're just used to them because everyone knows someone who may be gay, and I'm inclined to agree. If people genuinely accepted it, it wouldn't need to be a big deal. You wouldn't get people pestering you about what sexuality you are, they'd just let you be and you would refer to it as casually as any straight person would.


I disagree, that is just a negative pessimistic outlook, a lot of people accept the LGBTQ+ community!
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vidcapper
post May 17 2017, 04:16 PM
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What's the Q for? unsure.gif

I've only heard of heard of LGBT
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lotita
post May 17 2017, 04:19 PM
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QUOTE(vidcapper @ May 17 2017, 05:16 PM) *
What's the Q for? unsure.gif

I've only heard of heard of LGBT


Q = Queer
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Tombo
post May 17 2017, 04:27 PM
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QUOTE(lotita @ May 17 2017, 05:19 PM) *
Q = Queer


It can also be Questioning wub.gif
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ʟɪɴᴅs.
post May 17 2017, 04:31 PM
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pretty sure it's jut Queer as a lot of people use that as an umbrella term if they feel it fits them more than say gay, bisexual etc
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cqmerqn
post May 17 2017, 04:36 PM
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Not necessarily an inequality experience but as a bi guy I often receive comments like 'you're too scared to admit you're gay' or something on the lines of 'bi now, gay later' or even 'bisexuality doesn't exist, you're just confused'. It really irritates me, especially the 2nd and 3rd one.
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Tombo
post May 17 2017, 04:45 PM
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QUOTE(ʟɪɴᴅsᴇ @ May 17 2017, 05:31 PM) *
pretty sure it's jut Queer as a lot of people use that as an umbrella term if they feel it fits them more than say gay, bisexual etc


It can be queer or questioning depending on who is using it x
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Regina
post May 17 2017, 05:07 PM
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I actually received more hassle/issues from people when I was still in the closet than I have since I've come out tbh. I used to be bombarded with comments like
"why do you act so gay?" "If you like Kylie then you have to be gay" "course you don't have a girlfriend, you're gay" etc.

Then when I did come out most people were like "I knew it" laugh.gif which raises the issue of campness, I know several straight people who are camp AF but certianly not
gay and they get the same sort of comments.
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Mack'sXmasSack
post May 17 2017, 07:10 PM
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An incident at high school where a teacher complained about two boys holding hands, she considered it was disgusting.

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Tawdry Hepburn
post May 17 2017, 08:51 PM
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QUOTE(Mack @ May 17 2017, 08:10 PM) *
An incident at high school where a teacher complained about two boys holding hands, she considered it was disgusting.


I hope she got in serious trouble for that?!
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vidcapper
post May 18 2017, 05:58 AM
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QUOTE(lotita @ May 17 2017, 05:19 PM) *
Q = Queer


That was the only thing I could think of, but it made no sense to me - why would they adopt a term that's supposedly deeply offensive, certainly when used against them in a derogatory context? unsure.gif
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Sceryl_Streep
post May 18 2017, 07:04 AM
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QUOTE(vidcapper @ May 18 2017, 06:58 AM) *
That was the only thing I could think of, but it made no sense to me - why would they adopt a term that's supposedly deeply offensive, certainly when used against them in a derogatory context? unsure.gif


As with all language, intent and context are very important. Queer as a tone neutral descriptor is fine, as it's use here indicates, indeed it's also fine, for the most part and most people it would apply to, if the intent is simply to describe. Plus, it's about ownership too; see also the N word.
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Joe.
post May 18 2017, 07:50 AM
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QUOTE(vidcapper @ May 18 2017, 06:58 AM) *
That was the only thing I could think of, but it made no sense to me - why would they adopt a term that's supposedly deeply offensive, certainly when used against them in a derogatory context? unsure.gif


Queer isn't offensive at all. There are "Queer film festivals", "Queer music festivals", "queer society" I identify as queer. It's not like "faggot", which is literally only offensive.
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Tombo
post May 18 2017, 09:15 AM
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QUOTE(Joe. @ May 18 2017, 08:50 AM) *
Queer isn't offensive at all. There are "Queer film festivals", "Queer music festivals", "queer society" I identify as queer. It's not like "faggot", which is literally only offensive.


Queer also has a meaning unrelated to sexuality to mean odd or strange or bizarre so it isn't a positive word
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