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> Is 'Fake Happiness' sometimes better than real sadness?, :)
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post May 28 2017, 09:44 AM
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thinking.gif a question that's recently had a thought about. I think both mindsets have their pros and cons, for example being sad would usually make you attempt to identify the reasons why you are and possibly take the steps to solving whatever problems etc. but if you know why you are and you know you can't do much about it then there's no point being sad and you might as well attempt to put a happy face on whenever possible really tongue.gif I wouldn't say fake happiness is always the healthiest option though as it can blind you from the real problems that should be acted on to avoid bigger problems later on, but I guess it would depend on the specific situation happy.gif
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awardinary
post May 28 2017, 10:18 AM
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Surely it's like living in a delusion, telling yourself everything is ok when it's not. Short term I guess there's no problem, but long term life has a way of catching up with you and biting you in the ass! Unfortunately.
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PeteFromLeeds
post May 28 2017, 11:09 AM
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I saw a banner in a primary school recently saying that you are responsible for your actions, regardless of how you feel. If you try to be happy, it can help other people to be happy and hopefully cheer you up as well, whilst wallowing in your own self-pity doesn't do anything really.
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post May 28 2017, 11:17 AM
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QUOTE(PeteFromLeeds @ May 28 2017, 12:09 PM) *
I saw a banner in a primary school recently saying that you are responsible for your actions, regardless of how you feel. If you try to be happy, it can help other people to be happy and hopefully cheer you up as well, whilst wallowing in your own self-pity doesn't do anything really.


I think that's a really dangerous mantra... to disregard your feelings with the possibility that it might make others feel worse and to say you're responsible for your actions that have nothing to do with your feelings, as some things that people get emotional about are out of their control. I think that people's responses to things are completely their responsibility but they shouldn't pretend the sadness isn't there, but instead gravitate towards things that make them happy - as this MAY bring happiness in return or good vibes.
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post May 28 2017, 04:25 PM
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I 100% agree with Lew on this. I think you have to let yourself feel whatever it is you're feeling, whether that's happiness or sadness as that's perfectly okay and I don't think people should ever devalidate how they feel or feel bad for feeling a certain way. There is this mentality that you've got to "put on a brave face" or "paint on a smile" for other people but to be quite honest I think that's shit and people shouldn't be expected to fake how they feel. It's not healthy. Sometimes it's easier to pretend like nothing is wrong which is understandable but it's still not a good thing to do as these things build up and can do more damage in the long run. I hate that we live in a society where we usually get asked how we are by at least one person every day yet its not a question anyone really wants an honest answer to, you have to tell them you're fine or that you're doing good even when you're not feeling that way at all.

Fake Happy by Paramore is a perfect way to put it all, Hayley described herself as being someone who just pretended everything was great and would work out fine ever since she was a teenager but now that's all caught up to her, she's dealing with a lifetime amount of stuff now and she's battled/battling some serious anxiety and depression issues as a result. It's like they say when you paint over the cracks, it doesn't solve anything, they're still there. All I'm trying to say is it's okay to feel how you feel, no matter what that is and you don't have to hide it.
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post May 28 2017, 04:41 PM
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You need to accept that you're an imperfect human who has a wide range of emotions, and if you're sad, then feel sad. Depression is made 10x harder when you're trying to put on a happy face, whilst dying a wee bit inside. If people are encouraged to "Fake it until you make it" then they're never gonna work through the stuff that's making them sad.

I would rather be friends with someone who felt sad and could show it and share it with me.
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Chez Wombat
post May 28 2017, 04:48 PM
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Fake emotions of any kind are dangerous to yourself as it's not what you're actually feeling thus it isn't you. Of course, staying optimistic is a good thing in any case, but denying you're feeling something to even yourself as well as others is never going to solve it.

You ever seen Inside Out, Spadam? ;o I think you'd like it as it relates to this well~


This post has been edited by Chez Wombat: May 28 2017, 04:49 PM
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post May 28 2017, 10:48 PM
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QUOTE(Chez Wombat @ May 28 2017, 05:48 PM) *
Fake emotions of any kind are dangerous to yourself as it's not what you're actually feeling thus it isn't you. Of course, staying optimistic is a good thing in any case, but denying you're feeling something to even yourself as well as others is never going to solve it.

You ever seen Inside Out, Spadam? ;o I think you'd like it as it relates to this well~
Yeah I watched it once and it was pretty good happy.gif I might watch it again in light of you mentioning it in this topic

I think the best thing to do is fit somewhere between fake happiness and consistent optimism, I realise that sometimes there are things you might feel sad about when it doesn't really seem necessary to feel that way about, not quite fake happiness I guess but just making a better emotional response for the situation. Again it depends on the person and what they're dealing with etc.


This post has been edited by ReyOfSpunShine: May 28 2017, 10:55 PM
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post May 30 2017, 02:54 PM
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No it's not good, what's the point? Of course sometimes you have to put on your happy face on in certain situations but the longer you do it the worse it is for you. It's that you perpetuates the stereotype of "you're not depressed just be happy!!!1!!" which really pisses me off. I tend to just say to people, I'm feeling a bit shit so don't mind me moping my room laugh.gif At least people know then and they can help or try to help, if you just give off the pretense of being happy people can't know and can't help you. Put if this way, I always think if it was the other way round and a friend of mine was depressed, I would rather they were honest and said they weren't feeling great on a given day, rather than bottle it up, I'd feel like they didn't trust me and I'd feel so bad I didn't notice or help. Plus if I don't speak to anyone, I just pretend to be happy, nobody can help me and I can't help myself, so there is no point.
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