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> Friends: The Family we choose?
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5 Silas Frøkner
post May 31 2017, 07:32 PM
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Surfing in paradise
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Been thinking a bit about this concept since the internet friends thread from Jonjo. I think that, for me, the people I'd count as my close friends, my 'inner circle', are pretty much my family for me. Just family that I choose rather than that I was born into. Friends can be such an important part of our lives, especially if you have family you don't really get on with or a very small family. I've got people I've been friends with for longer than I can remember and some newer who are absolutely so close to my heart that I'd call them family.

Am I just being a pure weirdo (don't answer that) or is this something y'all feel too?
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danG
post May 31 2017, 08:18 PM
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I get what you mean, I have a few friends that I've known for so long they may as well be family. We don't see each other too often (like actual family outside of brother/parents) but the catch up is quick and easy.
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ʟɪɴᴅs.
post May 31 2017, 10:01 PM
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Hmmm I would agree with that sentiment even though I've never personally been close to a group of people to the extend I'd consider them family rather than just friends, if anyone was going to be that though it would for sure be Lotti I think :')
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Liаm
post May 31 2017, 10:17 PM
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My family is pretty much all a sack of shit who wouldn't do a thing for me if it didn't benefit them, so I guess I can say my friends are closer than family but that's not giving them much credit kink.gif
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jakewild
post May 31 2017, 10:32 PM
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i went through a bit of a difficult thing a few months ago and that was the first time i truly realised how important my close friends were to me. i only told like 4 people and i didn't even tell my family and still haven't. it's the kinda thing where family would first be woried and all i wanted was an ear to listen not a lecture and that's what i think friends are or definitely were in this situation. of course the fam are my 100 but there is something about friends that is the same but with less pressure..
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djquavdemon
post May 31 2017, 11:06 PM
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feel pretty much the same, like my internet friends are sort of real for me as I don't have real. According to my philosophy, close friend is no longer a friend when you haven't talked to each other for a half a year or so. Anything can happen within these days, mind can be changed, other interests can be found, old ones to shut down etc. It's always so difficult for me to start a conversation with my "ex-close friend" who has moved off to another city, I feel like I don't have any touchpoints except studying, local news, politics and weather, so miserable. As for internet friends, I know that (almost) everyone will understand me and my hobbies, share their sorrow and joy with me, sometimes do things that my rl family won't even realize how to live with. So I can relate to the topic starter.
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Jacøb
post May 31 2017, 11:22 PM
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Yeah I've got some really good friends that I've known all my life that I consider to be first cousins in all but name, (I see lots of my actual first cousins relatively frequently and get on really well with most* of them). I even referred to their parents as "auntie" and "uncle" as a kid and still sometimes do when talking about them in 3rd person habitually, although maybe that's something you just do with your parent's best friends, in my experience at least.

*I only say most because I don't see all of them that frequently and some are a lot younger than me.

I mean I can see how you could come to think of friends as family even if you met them later in life but for me it takes a long time to get that kind of status, not that I don't value other friendships (I really do), just to convert it to "so familiar they're basically family" I have to have known them for ages and we need to really know each other. I mean a lot of my good friends at uni still don't know a huge amount (beyond the basics) about my background and vica versa, I don't tend to open up and share details about myself that quickly. It's those rare deep late night (or in that style) conversations that really bonds you to someone else.
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Floater
post Jun 1 2017, 03:11 AM
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It's quite the opposite for me actually. My relatives are my closest friends, my cousins are all close together in age and we all lived near each other when we were growing up. I know I can count on my family whereas I'm lucky to see my friends once a month and if I don't contact them first I wouldn't hear from them at all :')
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Jade
post Jun 1 2017, 02:38 PM
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I used to feel like my best friends in secondary school/sixth form were like family before we drifted a fair amount since Uni. With family members, I have always felt immensely close to my parents, brother, nan and grandad (on my dad's side), grandma (on my mum's side) and my great grandma before she passed away. My sixth form friends did feel closer to me than some of the family members that I haven't listed, so it is such a shame that us going our separate ways for Uni meant that contact slowly became less and less. My friends at Uni are great but I wouldn't quite class them as family. So I would say that I had this feeling in the past with a friendship group but currently I do not.
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AllWeKnowOfSpadz
post Jun 1 2017, 07:47 PM
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I don't really fit in with my family (especially my brother although he doesn't have the same dad) so I tend to be a lot more open to friends. I think I remember calling this forum a family of sorts laugh.gif
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mdh
post Jun 2 2017, 10:01 AM
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I'm lucky to be pretty close to all of my family (I mean there was a lil blip at Christmas but that's all sorted now) but I'd say I do enjoy the company of my friends more. There are a few that I just feel completely comfortable with in every situation - like we could be sat in total silence for 15 minutes but it wouldn't be awkward etc. I'm rather lucky to have those close relationships like that, I feel like sometimes I don't appreciate them enough.

I never really consider my friends as 'family' or 'friends', neither do I consider my family as 'family' or 'friends' - I've always been under the belief that if you have a close relationship with someone, that's all that really matters, there doesn't need to specifically be a label to define a friendly relationship.

But yeah, if I HAD to specify I'd say I have a few people that I class as family more than actual relatives, but I won't tell them that laugh.gif
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ʟɪɴᴅs.
post Jun 2 2017, 11:00 AM
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QUOTE(mdh (ft. Quavo) @ Jun 2 2017, 11:01 AM) *
I never really consider my friends as 'family' or 'friends', neither do I consider my family as 'family' or 'friends' - I've always been under the belief that if you have a close relationship with someone, that's all that really matters, there doesn't need to specifically be a label to define a friendly relationship.


kink.gif
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mdh
post Jun 2 2017, 12:10 PM
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QUOTE(ʟɪɴᴅsᴇ @ Jun 2 2017, 12:00 PM) *
kink.gif

Ngl that never occurred to me :')
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