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HausAlone
post Jun 2 2017, 08:30 PM
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Anyone that knows me, knows I absolutely adore food and it is all I ever think about.

Opening up a little ~ "Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is an anxiety disorder that causes a person to have a distorted view of how they look and to spend a lot of time worrying about their appearance". This is something that I have touched on slightly for a few years now. I haven't ever been officially diagnosed and nor should I be as it's nowhere near as extreme as some cases you hear (my brother is a doctor and he says it could spiral out into this disorder if I let it) - I think it is a very mild form of this that I have and leans more towards "low confidence" in terms of my body image. But I suppose it's a slippery slope and could turn much worse if i'm not careful.

Basically I have always been within a healthy weight - nurses/health checks etc all tell me that but I have always found that my belly is too big. I have gone through phases of having anxious days where i've not wanted to really eat anything to days where I binge eat. I am in a sort of ok place right now - I am eating extremely healthily throughout the week and then from Friday - Sunday I have all the food i love (pizza, chips, kebabs, alcohol etc). It's a binge style and probably not the best, but it's what gets me through Monday - Thursday. In the past I have chewed for flavour and then spat out food refusing to swallow it (this is the most extreme I have ever got to) but on a day to day basis it just revolves around obsessing over food and being hungry ALL THE TIME but not allowing myself to eat.

I am a size 26 waist - this is the skinniest trouser size i've ever had and yet it is still not what I want it to be and when I look in the mirror I see a belly staring at me that I just want to cut off lmao. I exercise regularly and on days like this I tell myself IT IS PERFECTLY FINE but there are other days when it gets me so down.


This thread is part me sharing and opening up because it's cathartic but also a chance for others to express their own thoughts about how they perceive themselves in the mirror. I doubt any of us think we're perfect but does anyone get down in the dumps about things that are actually quite normal and healthy and no cause for concern? What is your body image confidence like?
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Christmas Cherry...
post Jun 2 2017, 08:37 PM
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Thanks for opening up to us Bal <3 a very interesting topic!

Probably like quite a lot of posters here I really struggled with body image throughout high school, following my accident I piled on weight due to being on bed rest for essentially six weeks and since then have never really shifted it. I won't dwell on this bit too much though, because I'm really happy to say my body confidence has somehow grown! I think I've become slightly more shaped (weird choice of word but it makes sense) or maybe im just embracing my body for what it is and getting better at dressing for my body shape but good things *.* I'm trying. To work on my skin now, I still have pretty nasty eczema on my arms and back which can get odd looks but it's kind of easier to shake it off when I know it's not really my fault
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HausAlone
post Jun 2 2017, 08:46 PM
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QUOTE(lotita @ Jun 2 2017, 09:37 PM) *
Thanks for opening up to us Bal <3 a very interesting topic!

Probably like quite a lot of posters here I really struggled with body image throughout high school, following my accident I piled on weight due to being on bed rest for essentially six weeks and since then have never really shifted it. I won't dwell on this bit too much though, because I'm really happy to say my body confidence has somehow grown! I think I've become slightly more shaped (weird choice of word but it makes sense) or maybe im just embracing my body for what it is and getting better at dressing for my body shape but good things *.* I'm trying. To work on my skin now, I still have pretty nasty eczema on my arms and back which can get odd looks but it's kind of easier to shake it off when I know it's not really my fault

heart.gif I remember you mentioning this previously. So happy to hear you're in a much better place!

Typing this out, it sounds more dramatic than it actually is :'( I think we all suffer to some degree with a lack of confidence in ourselves and no one is completely happy but I guess it's about accepting it and not letting it bring you down which is where I have failed at times.


The reason this has reared its head again is because a nurse who did a free health check last week - I spoke about these issues. Her response was: "the next time you think about eating fried food... think about it" ://///


This post has been edited by HausofSZA: Jun 2 2017, 08:51 PM
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Sqntq Clqus
post Jun 2 2017, 09:01 PM
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For a while now I have also been having similar issues with you. I am also within the healthy weight but recently I've been so anxious in regards to how I look. Never really said much about this to anyone but I used to sometimes go 1-2 days without eating a single thing, in an attempt to make myself feel and help myself look better. I don't do that now but the low confidence has stayed the same.
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Brett-Butler
post Jun 2 2017, 09:02 PM
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I can't remember a time when I've looked in the mirror and liked what I've seen. Never really had much body confidence.
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Slade
post Jun 2 2017, 09:16 PM
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You guys *hugs* thank you for opening up about this, it's an important topic.

My body confidence has definitely changed over time. I used to really dislike my body for years because I always felt far too skinny. Fast forward to early last year and I started to put on weight, not deliberately but I guess a mix of birth control, snacking during the night and exercising less than ever were contributing to this. I have put on 3 stone in almost a year and a half and I am almost happy with my body now. Firstly the positive - I no longer feel too skinny, I have a much curvier body now which is always something that I really wanted. Buuuut, like you Bal, it's my bloody stomach now that I'm self conscious about. I weighed myself recently and became really upset about it. I am only slightly overweight for my height so it's nothing awful, but to go from a pretty much flat stomach to it being noticeably larger now is the one area that gets me down at times. But tbh we are never gonna be completely happy with ourselves, and I'm just happy that I typed "I am almost happy with my body now" because I never thought I'd say that a couple of years ago. I like being a larger weight but I don't really want to put on any more now so I'm gonna try and be healthier and more careful.

As for general looks I have come a MASSIVE way there, I used to think I was incredibly ugly and would always wish to be someone else but I am mostly okay about my looks now, just with the occasional bad day. Thank goodness because my happiness really has increased since I embraced my looks more.
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Cameron
post Jun 2 2017, 09:20 PM
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Oh my goodness Bal! You don't need to worry about the way you look at all! I know you can be like 'you're just saying that' but it's true!

This is a topic which has been rather prominent in my life over the past year as I have always struggled to maintain a weight that I am comfortable with and accept as the norm. I guess I will start at 2014 when I left high school. I really never watched what I ate at all when I was in school and would actually eat rather unhealthy foods but not an excessive amount of them. I think I was one of those people who just thought that weight would stay off them because I was relatively active and literally walked everywhere due to me having no form of income and still being at school - so I didn't really have any money to splash out on more sugary treats and rubbish.

Anyway back on topic, in 2014 I left school, got a job over the summer working in Next as a Sale temp and then got my first job at the coffee shop (which many of you know I hated with all my heart). I then started Uni and had my student loan and bursary payments. Obviously, I was not use to having a large amount of money so I would just spend it on food. My eating habits became awful and I would skip breakfast and have a meal deal at Sainsbury's before uni as my 'breakfast'. I would buy sweets and fizzy juice after uni and eat them after. I will be completely honest and say sometimes if I was planning to watch movies in bed, I would have a full pack of Sainsbury's cookies, a bag of chocolate and a sharing bag of crisps... I gradually gained weight and went up to a 36-inch waist. My face was pretty much messed up with it being round and my hips being awful. I began to notice stretch marks surrounding my body and just shrugged it off thinking nothing of it. Fast Forward 2 years to March 2016. I decided enough was enough. When I was nearly going to be a 38-inch waist I knew I had to do something. So I dieted with Slimming World, exercised and managed to get myself down to a 32-inch waist which was my size when I was about 14/15.

For the past year I have been a bit on and off with my weight by staying a 32-inch waist but still feeling as though I was gaining an excessive amount of weight again. I gained a stone between August and February which is not what I wanted to do. since late March, I have cut sugar out of my diet (except for the odd biscuit or cake at the weekend for a treat) and very rarely eat bread unless it is wholemeal. I look at myself now, I weighed myself this morning and came to 65kg which is just over 10 stone. I am going to be honest with you when I say I still feel obese. I exercise for between half an hour and an hour every day and find myself counting calories more and more. Both my parents have approached me and asked if I have an eating disorder because of 'how thin' I am. I don't see this at all. I just see fat around my hips and try to get rid of it on a daily basis.

My body confidence is a mess
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Cameron
post Jun 2 2017, 09:22 PM
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QUOTE(Jade @ Jun 2 2017, 10:16 PM) *
You guys *hugs* thank you for opening up about this, it's an important topic.

My body confidence has definitely changed over time. I used to really dislike my body for years because I always felt far too skinny. Fast forward to early last year and I started to put on weight, not deliberately but I guess a mix of birth control, snacking during the night and exercising less than ever were contributing to this. I have put on 3 stone in almost a year and a half and I am almost happy with my body now. Firstly the positive - I no longer feel too skinny, I have a much curvier body now which is always something that I really wanted. Buuuut, like you Bal, it's my bloody stomach now that I'm self conscious about. I weighed myself recently and became really upset about it. I am only slightly overweight for my height so it's nothing awful, but to go from a pretty much flat stomach to it being noticeably larger now is the one area that gets me down at times. But tbh we are never gonna be completely happy with ourselves, and I'm just happy that I typed "I am almost happy with my body now" because I never thought I'd say that a couple of years ago. I like being a larger weight but I don't really want to put on any more now so I'm gonna try and be healthier and more careful.

As for general looks I have come a MASSIVE way there, I used to think I was incredibly ugly and would always wish to be someone else but I am mostly okay about my looks now, just with the occasional bad day. Thank goodness because my happiness really has increased since I embraced my looks more.


Aw Jade, the fact that your confidence is growing is so good to hear, you really have nothing to worry about! I think the worst thing about feeling self-conscious is when you sit down and your stomach rolls. It doesn't seem to cross our brains that it happens to everyone so we make ourselves panic! sad.gif
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HausAlone
post Jun 2 2017, 09:33 PM
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My best friend who is the only one i've opened up to about this irl says "you're so skinny though!!" which I just laugh off because the issue is I don't see that myself.

QUOTE(Cameron @ Jun 2 2017, 10:20 PM) *
Oh my goodness Bal! You don't need to worry about the way you look at all! I know you can be like 'you're just saying that' but it's true!

This is a topic which has been rather prominent in my life over the past year as I have always struggled to maintain a weight that I am comfortable with and accept as the norm. I guess I will start at 2014 when I left high school. I really never watched what I ate at all when I was in school and would actually eat rather unhealthy foods but not an excessive amount of them. I think I was one of those people who just thought that weight would stay off them because I was relatively active and literally walked everywhere due to me having no form of income and still being at school - so I didn't really have any money to splash out on more sugary treats and rubbish.

Anyway back on topic, in 2014 I left school, got a job over the summer working in Next as a Sale temp and then got my first job at the coffee shop (which many of you know I hated with all my heart). I then started Uni and had my student loan and bursary payments. Obviously, I was not use to having a large amount of money so I would just spend it on food. My eating habits became awful and I would skip breakfast and have a meal deal at Sainsbury's before uni as my 'breakfast'. I would buy sweets and fizzy juice after uni and eat them after. I will be completely honest and say sometimes if I was planning to watch movies in bed, I would have a full pack of Sainsbury's cookies, a bag of chocolate and a sharing bag of crisps... I gradually gained weight and went up to a 36-inch waist. My face was pretty much messed up with it being round and my hips being awful. I began to notice stretch marks surrounding my body and just shrugged it off thinking nothing of it. Fast Forward 2 years to March 2016. I decided enough was enough. When I was nearly going to be a 38-inch waist I knew I had to do something. So I dieted with Slimming World, exercised and managed to get myself down to a 32-inch waist which was my size when I was about 14/15.

For the past year I have been a bit on and off with my weight by staying a 32-inch waist but still feeling as though I was gaining an excessive amount of weight again. I gained a stone between August and February which is not what I wanted to do. since late March, I have cut sugar out of my diet (except for the odd biscuit or cake at the weekend for a treat) and very rarely eat bread unless it is wholemeal. I look at myself now, I weighed myself this morning and came to 65kg which is just over 10 stone. I am going to be honest with you when I say I still feel obese. I exercise for between half an hour and an hour every day and find myself counting calories more and more. Both my parents have approached me and asked if I have an eating disorder because of 'how thin' I am. I don't see this at all. I just see fat around my hips and try to get rid of it on a daily basis.

My body confidence is a mess

Aww Cameron thank you for sharing this, quite the rollercoaster. The calorie counting thing is such a horrible cycle to get into sad.gif Stay on the exercise and make sure you're eating plenty to build muscle etc rather than just wasting away. And stay healthy & happy as Jade mentioned - if parents are concerned they are just looking out for you so don't dismiss it! I hope you can find yourself much happier about yourself soon <3 Think about how far you've come from only the other year!
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Liаm
post Jun 2 2017, 09:34 PM
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This is by far the worst thing about myself, and that itself is a never ending list laugh.gif

I am well overweight put it that way, I kind of just live with it and come to terms with it but it means I hate the way I look as a whole and have 0 self confidence so often just take 0 pride in the way I look, because what's the point my weight just ruins it. I know that I am fat because I eat too much and not the right things, but there's a whole load of reasons why it's not as simple as just "omg move more and eat less!!!!!1!1", when there are so many days I feel too depressed or anxious or generally down to leave my room and make an actual meal, so I just have a whole packet of biscuits I bought earlier or a takeaway I'll eat in my room. I am generally down as my default, if I was a happier person I wouldn't need to comfort eat all the time, and it'd be easier to change the way I think and do things, so I'd be more confident. But that isn't gonna happen laugh.gif

QUOTE(HausofSZA @ Jun 2 2017, 09:46 PM) *
The reason this has reared its head again is because a nurse who did a free health check last week - I spoke about these issues. Her response was: "the next time you think about eating fried food... think about it" ://///

Oh lord that's a vile thing to say for a health professional (or anyone to say, really), when you can see that you are a healthy weight AND you've spoken to her about it, how tactless to then just say that :/
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*Tim
post Jun 2 2017, 09:38 PM
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I too have struggled with my body a lot, not that I ever thought I was fat, but I was always the walking bag of bones of the group. I was tge "are you anorexic or something" person.

When I left for college I started to gain a little weight around the waist, but I didnt really mind. I never got fat, but I had a lil' bit of fat around my waist. In the past month or so I have gone on to exercise on a near daily basis, whether that be gymming or running outside and it has helped me so much. I've actually lost a bit of weight and had some great results and it has boosted my confidence so much which is amazing. Dare I say if I continue this for like another month my abs might be on proper show? ������

Edit: Omg I wanna hug y'all, y'all look healthy and fine to me!!!
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Cameron
post Jun 2 2017, 09:38 PM
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Oh, Health Care 'professionals' really only care about getting to the next client these days. I find that at the GP too, like you think you have something wrong with you and they say 'take antibiotics and if its not gone in 2 weeks come back'
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Slade
post Jun 2 2017, 09:39 PM
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QUOTE(Cameron @ Jun 2 2017, 10:22 PM) *
Aw Jade, the fact that your confidence is growing is so good to hear, you really have nothing to worry about! I think the worst thing about feeling self-conscious is when you sit down and your stomach rolls. It doesn't seem to cross our brains that it happens to everyone so we make ourselves panic! sad.gif

Thank you Cameron heart.gif yeah you're right, it's when I am just sitting down casually that I notice it and then get self conscious, I need to try not to let it get me down so much. Going from 8 to 11 stone in a short period of time is still taking some getting used to, just gonna try and not let myself get too much bigger.

10 stone sounds like a good weight by the way, I am sure you have absolutely nothing to worry about! I do understand that we can be our own harshest critics though and it's not easy to feel comfortable with ourselves. Anyway, sounds like you have come a long way since your coffee shop job/early Uni days, keep up the regular exercise and eat a good amount so that you can stay healthy. Will try and take my own advice eventually too x
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Cameron
post Jun 2 2017, 09:40 PM
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QUOTE(*Tim @ Jun 2 2017, 10:38 PM) *
I too have struggled with my body a lot, not that I ever thought I was fat, but I was always the walking bag of bones of the group.

When I left for college I started to gain a little weight around the waist, but I dodnt really mind. I never got fat, but I had a lil' bit of fat around my waist. In the past month or so I have gone on to exercise on a near daily basis, whether that be gymming or running outside and it has helped me so much. I've actually lost a bit of weight and had some great results and it has boosted my confidence so much which is amazing. Dare I say if I continue this for like another month my abs might be on proper show? 🤔🤔🤔


I feel that exercising daily becomes less of a chore and more enjoyable! It makes you feel better and you know that you will get results if you stick to it!
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HausAlone
post Jun 2 2017, 09:42 PM
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QUOTE(Liаm @ Jun 2 2017, 10:34 PM) *
This is by far the worst thing about myself, and that itself is a never ending list laugh.gif

I am well overweight put it that way, I kind of just live with it and come to terms with it but it means I hate the way I look as a whole and have 0 self confidence so often just take 0 pride in the way I look, because what's the point my weight just ruins it. I know that I am fat because I eat too much and not the right things, but there's a whole load of reasons why it's not as simple as just "omg move more and eat less!!!!!1!1", when there are so many days I feel too depressed or anxious or generally down to leave my room and make an actual meal, so I just have a whole packet of biscuits I bought earlier or a takeaway I'll eat in my room. I am generally down as my default, if I was a happier person I wouldn't need to comfort eat all the time, and it'd be easier to change the way I think and do things, so I'd be more confident. But that isn't gonna happen laugh.gif
Oh lord that's a vile thing to say for a health professional (or anyone to say, really), when you can see that you are a healthy weight AND you've spoken to her about it, how tactless to then just say that :/

Liam sad.gif You were so happy and carefree when we met, that side needs to always be out!! I genuinely think you analysing all of this and being able to say it the way it is is a massive step and a sign that things can (and will!) get better. A lot of people might be in a similar boat but not realise it. We're always here to lift your spirits <3
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*Tim
post Jun 2 2017, 09:43 PM
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QUOTE(Cameron @ Jun 2 2017, 09:40 PM) *
I feel that exercising daily becomes less of a chore and more enjoyable! It makes you feel better and you know that you will get results if you stick to it!

Yeah it really helps, cause you actually notice results. I take pictures as well and then compare like every 2 or 3 weeks lol

Thinking about it, that does sound a bit weird
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awardinary
post Jun 2 2017, 09:54 PM
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Well I'm overweight, and much more than I should be. I once proved to myself that I could lose weight and I did, but because I never had a maintenance plan, I put it all back on, and then some.

I would like to rejoin a gym soon, but I need a steady income plus I want to go back to having personal training sessions again too, which is more expense.

I guess that's the price I have to pay for years of mistreating my body and not taking care of it. The only plus I can say is that I don't smoke and never have done.
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post Jun 2 2017, 09:55 PM
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Haus I think probably 95% of the population are not happy with themselves. I used to be quite skinny (I am still am) but I have managed to put more weight on and 'beef' up a little. But I still want to be bigger in terms of muscle, but it's catch-22. To get bigger I need to eat more. I am lucky in the fact that I have a low body fat percentage, but if I eat loads it only ever ends up on my stomach, never anywhere else in my body. I know bodybuilders that are not happy with their bodies etc. it's a crazy world we live in.

Can I just say as well to anyone who does not feel great about their bodies or feels they eat too much - join a gym. I know that's a really easy thing to say and I don't mean it in a patronising way as it can be a daunting experience. But honestly you will begin to feel so much better about yourself. It will help with all sorts.
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HausAlone
post Jun 2 2017, 10:07 PM
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QUOTE(Rooney @ Jun 2 2017, 10:55 PM) *
Can I just say as well to anyone who does not feel great about their bodies or feels they eat too much - join a gym. I know that's a really easy thing to say and I don't mean it in a patronising way as it can be a daunting experience. But honestly you will begin to feel so much better about yourself. It will help with all sorts.

I have all the gym equipment at home! My brother used to be a fanatic and left it all in the garage when he moved out. I do it every other day with cardio in between - I definitely exercise well. One thing I am very happy with is my arms (and thighs cool2.gif) IT'S JUST MY BELLY/CHEST sad.gif any tips for how to get rid of that? I want it to be toned as - I mean I will probably never be happy with it but if I can see some sort of progress it'll help my mentality i'm sure.
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LexC
post Jun 2 2017, 10:12 PM
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I...don't recall a time that I've ever had body confidence which is of course not a good thing at all but by the same token I guess it's hard to miss something you've never had?

My main thing is that I'm both fat and on the taller side height wise as well which is the absolute worst because it means that people notice you more when you're around which I just absolutely cannot bare and all I've ever wanted to be able to do is to be able to just blend in to the background and not feel like people are looking at me constantly because it drives me frigging crazy.
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