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mqh
post Jun 17 2017, 03:58 PM
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Not the Calvin Harris album, although a return to music like that is welcome @ Calvin plz

Okay, so I've been browsing through old threads and I've been VERY surprised as to how much I've changed as a person! Looking at all my perspectives on life and my posting style / negative attitude in general has made me realise just how much I've improved in terms of happiness and positivity over the last year and a half. biggrin.gif

For a start, my sleep schedule has improved a hell of a lot. I said in a thread at the start of 2016 that I didn't get up until 11am - and since then I've managed to wake up at 6am nearly every day and actually do things with my life (like RUNNING which I'd never have dreamed of doing in 2015 lol). And overall I've just become a lot more mentally healthy and my social life has improved SHITLOADS. So everything's fab compared to then, it's mad to see that I was content with living a pretty bad life back then.

I'm a lot less anxious in terms of talking to others which is nice to see - I said in one of my posts that I was too terrified to make friends but luckily at the end of Year 12 I was able to overcome that. It's very motivating for myself that I managed to somehow improve my life out of nowhere ~

(oh and JESUS I was lifeless. Like I'm not much better now but my posts were as dull as anything back then)

Here are some threads that could jog your memory of your life back then:
Hopes for 2016
2015: Your year in review
Sleep schedule
What ONE thing would you change about yourself?
Something you're looking forward to
Do you "feel" your age?

SO my question to you, is has your life changed over the last 18 months or so? Positively or negatively? Would you feel proud of yourself currently from the past you's perspective? Discuss ~


This post has been edited by mdh: Jun 17 2017, 03:59 PM
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UltraRedLight
post Jun 17 2017, 04:01 PM
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QUOTE(UltraChristmas @ Jan 4 2016, 07:36 PM) *
My pattern is an utter mess usually but starting to do better at the moment cheer.gif

Usually go to 'bed' at 11 and watch an episode of something on Netflix (usually Pretty Little Liars) and then go to bed between 12-12:30 which gives me 7 hours sleep! I am tired when I get up but I usually wake up properly after about half an hour so not too bad smile.gif

That LASTED LONG!! rotf.gif rotf.gif my sleep pattern has never been worse than it is atm, I haven't had over 5 hours sleep in a month and a half now and before my exams I was going to bed at any time from 11pm to 3am. Oops mess!
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UltraRedLight
post Jun 17 2017, 04:04 PM
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Oops at double posting but wen't through one of the other threads and found these!

QUOTE(UltraChristmas @ Dec 31 2015, 12:54 PM) *
I'm still waiting for Lana to tour in the UK when I can actually see her cry.gif cry.gif Still haven't seen her and getting desperate now laugh.gif

Anyway I want to do well in my first year of GCSE's and yeah good health and year and all those things!

Still waiting for Lana ffs. This was a year & a half a go and she still literally hasn't done anything here, there better be a Lust For Life UK tour!!!
And omg at GCSE's nearly fully done now!

QUOTE(UltraChristmas @ Dec 31 2015, 01:17 PM) *
That was the hope I was forgetting laugh.gif Hoping to have at least a 3-week/a month tour around America in the summer heart.gif

and this is gonna be my life in just under 2 weeks time *.* SO READY. Exactly what I need atm and it has been my dream holiday for ages! <3
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lordita
post Jun 17 2017, 04:10 PM
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omg mdh i love this!!! lemme stalk those threads and comment on my past self (cringe alert at my old posting styles)

QUOTE(princess_lotti @ Dec 31 2015, 12:37 PM) *
I've set myself a New Year resolution to save half of what I earn every week (I get paid weekly, I seem to be the only one unsure.gif) as my savings account is pretty dire atm. However in a broader sense I hope in 2016 I will be able to pass my A Levels, get into Uni, and try to stay (relatively~) happy biggrin.gif I also hope that I get to see Lana on tour again (if she EVER decides to release UK dates again sad.gif)


RIP my savings, to be fair to be I did save up so much for Uni, but my earnings from half of 2016 was all I had so they were all gone by the end of the year! I managed to pass my A levels AND get into Uni and I'm currently the happiest I've ever been so yes, congrats me *.* f***ing lana, STILL not announcing UK tour dates?!?!

QUOTE(Santa @ Dec 26 2015, 08:32 PM) *
2015 has definitely been an interesting year for me! I went into the new year so not very optimistic, I felt like everything was going wrong etc. However, in early 2015 I grew even closer with my friendship group, and started to feel more confident. I've done so many things this year, that I never thought I could have done smile.gif I managed to pass my driving test, I volunteered as a classroom assistant in a GCSE Spanish class, and I went campaigning with my local MP, this one I'm especially proud of, as I used to be SO shy at talking to strangers- definitely over that now laugh.gif

Of course there have been low moments, e.g I didn't do quite as well as I hoped in my AS exams, but the highlights of this year have just made those worries feel much more insignificant rolleyes.gif

Highlights of this year have been visiting Belgium/France WWI sites, which was a really interesting experience, and of course all the concerts I have been to! Taylor Swift, Florence + The Machine, Marina & the Diamonds to name a few heart.gif

Of course I also can't mention 2015, without mentioning Buzzjack, as it's the year I joined you all biggrin.gif I've already made so many amazing friends on this site and I can't wait to get to know more of you in the new year smile.gif

I'm excited for 2016! biggrin.gif
P.S. 2015 marks the 5 year anniversary of #Lottsey


HOW CRINGEY. but also cute, Buzzjack really has formed so much of my life over the last 18 months, just through the friendships i've made here <3 and yay- my AS fallbacks didn't hinder me in ANY way and I did incredibly on my retakes!

QUOTE(princess_lotti @ Jan 4 2016, 06:15 PM) *
Similarly to a lot of other people here, my schedule has been ridiculous over the holidays laugh.gif Trying to sort it out now as I'm back to school but it didn't go successfully as I got out of bed too late this morning kink.gif

as for times, I always aim to go to bed around 11! The trouble is, it takes me SO long to fall asleep, usually a couple of hours, so even if I "go to bed" at a certain time, I won't fall asleep until later sad.gif

For schooldays I wake up anytime between 7:00 to 7:45 depending on my energy
On Saturdays I usually get out of bed at 8:00, but having to start waking up a bit earlier as I now leave early to pick up a coworker kink.gif


i'm getting better at a sleeping schedule purely because I have to adjust it so much for work! in my previous job i was usually waking up at 5am and doing 7am starts, but now i mainly work nights/early mornings, so most nights I finish at 11pm however on Saturday I work 5am-10am so need to wake up about 3:45am for that kink.gif i'm a lot healthier now (mentally and physically) which helps me sleep so much

QUOTE(princess_lotti @ Jan 4 2016, 07:17 PM) *
Physically, I'd like to change my weight.

I feel honestly so stupid/ridiculous posting this, because obviously it's a thing I could change about myself, but honestly I find it so difficult. An accident a few years ago lead to me having to give up all sport and since then I've piled on weight, and just never got around to getting it off. I've been trying since the accident to get back into sport (something which was interrupted by having a second accident just over a year ago :|) but I've been finding it really difficult??? I don't have any physical problems doing exercise now on the most part (apart from being careful of course with certain things) but I'm just super unfit and lacking so much motivation, I need to work on something where I can build up fitness/stamina. In the past I used to horse ride every day, and I loved it and it kept me super fit, but I'm not able to do that nowadays due to lack of money/time and can't find any other way of keeping fit which I can stick to regularly/enjoy (if anyone has any suggestions please help me). Diet wise I have been trying a lot harder there, and I eat better nowadays then I did last year, but there is probably still more I could do, but obviously diet alone isn't going to help me. Plus, when I do tend to stress eat... which leads me to my next point

Mentally, I want to change (well stop) the way I get so stressed, usually over small things. For example, sometimes just going to a friends house will make me super super anxious, to the point where I've made myself ill before because I've been too scared to go stay over. I don't know where this comes from, and rationally I know the things I worry over are stupid, but I find so many social situations SO daunting- but like I couldn't even tell you all WHY I'm actually so afraid? I don't know if I'm the only one who feels like this sometimes sad.gif I will admit this has got better in the past couple of months, due to me having slightly~ higher self esteem but every now and then being invited to a certain social situation will freak me out.

I'm so sorry this post was rambling, to be quite honest I'm typing this super quickly because I know otherwise I'll never hit the "add reply" button :')


MESST. i actually just cried reading this i want to hug me of a year and a half okay (jesus that doesn't even sound like that long ago????). physically ya'll know i've come on amazingly since this, my body confidence has skyrocketed. i haven't even lost that much weight i'm just getting better at accepting myself for what i am and EMBRACING MY CURVES. yeah my diet is way better because i'm a cheap f***, and also i do so much walking and lifting at work that's exercise alone :') i'm averaging about 15k steps a working day atm according to my watch! to my second point, of course anxiety doesn't just fly away like a balloon, but i'd like to say i have it a lot more under control. i've thrown myself into so many situations now which have been scary to me but just got on with them, i'm starting to find a new appreciation for myself and my capabilities

QUOTE(princess_lotti @ Jan 7 2016, 10:21 PM) *
I'M SEEING HALSEY NEXT MONTH heart.gif



she was rlly good! wish i still stanned

QUOTE(Santa @ Dec 13 2015, 01:42 AM) *
I usually feel my age (18), or younger sometimes I guess laugh.gif

Lookswise I don't think I look my age, my chubby cheeks make me look about 12 laugh.gif

I sometimes feel older depending on who I'm with. I have a few friends inrl who are all older than me, although I do get treated like the baby of the group laugh.gif However when I go out with the ladies from work/ their friends etc, they never really treat me like I'm so many years younger, and we always get on really well biggrin.gif


this still stands :')
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Rooney
post Jun 17 2017, 04:18 PM
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Anyone whose worried about sleeping patterns don't be. I find that a mix of being a student/BuzzJack really messes your sleeping up. Don't worry by the time you start working full-time you will be so zonked that bad sleeping habits will be a thing of the past!

As for me, I am am one of those people that always tries to be happy. Over the past 18 months I have discovered so much about myself. What I wanted 18 months ago is totally different to what I want now. While I have enough money for a house deposit, I no longer want this right now. Much like while I was very settled in the city I am in, I now want to move somewhere completely different.
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post Jun 17 2017, 04:20 PM
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Oh that takes me back to when I was still a student and actually doing something. I have had a regular sleeping pattern for months, studenting always messes your sleeping pattern around but regular life gets you on the straight and narrow pretty fast.

I have become so much more confident in myself over the last 18 months although my posts wouldn't show it, on here I've kind of remained the same but in real life I'm shrugging off things that would have terrified the me that wrote those posts.
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Doctor Blind
post Jun 17 2017, 04:21 PM
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QUOTE(Doctor Blind @ Dec 31 2015, 04:57 PM) *
I'm in training for my first ever triathlon ( swam a mile on 23rd December and Boxing Day), and I also hope to cycle from coast-to-coast across France (whilst sampling lots of the available cheese and wine, naturally) in early summer.


Well I have actually now cycled across France - I did it last month, and it was both very hot but also a really amazing experience that I throughly enjoyed every minute of. I especially enjoyed having to rely on my (frankly dire) French the further south we got where English was spoken less and less. It was also great to indulge in French cuisine and also experience how much more respected cyclists are on the French roads compared to the UK!

I wouldn't say that I've changed that much though..
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T Boy
post Jun 17 2017, 04:22 PM
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QUOTE(Xmas Tree Boy @ Dec 13 2015, 10:45 AM) *
I often feel older. My closest friends at the moment are early to mid thirties and I'm just 27. Plus ages don't feel too different to me. Ok, I may not feel completely 18 anymore but I could easily be myself at 23.

This reminds me of another phrase 'I don't know how to act my age, because I've never been this old before'.


Still the same here. Approaching 29 and don't feel any different.

QUOTE(Xmas Tree Boy @ Dec 26 2015, 12:49 PM) *
Such a mixed year for me in reflection to be honest.

I've had some great times, 3 holidays to the Lake District, Cardiff and London that were thoroughly enjoyable and the London trip was an opportunity to participate in the once in a lifetime Star Wars secret cinema event which is massive for me. Also a new Star Wars film has left me *.* I've had amazing times with my colleagues turned best friends this year and from a professional point of view being elected teacher governor of my school has been exciting. Oh, and my mum and dad's new puppy Jake who is awesome.

But the year has been tinged with sadness. Personal sadness all revolving around dogs. My poor companion of nearly 17 years, Jack, passing away was probably the biggest personal loss I've ever felt (I recognise that I am extremely lucky this is the case) and I still tear up slightly thinking of him. And then there was the debacle with the rescue dog my parents took in during the Summer which was an extremely stressful and difficult time. Also so many of my friends have lost close family members this year and it's been heartbreaking. I've also been supporting a colleague whose shit of a husband cheated on her. School has been full of usual stresses but as we head to an inspection this has been worse of late.

2016-inspection is the main thing on my mind currently. Also a number of friends are expecting babies so I may be able to get in some practice with that kind of thing. The be healthy and happy by the end is all I ask for really.


lol that inspection talk almost a year to happen, build up was stressful as expected yet the actual thing was easy.

Omg Jack's death cry.gif it's actually just over 2 years to the date. Jake is still full of beans though at nearly 2 years old. School has been stressful in many ways since then, one in particular that I still cannot divulge, but it's been more rewarding of late.

QUOTE(T Boy @ Jan 4 2016, 07:30 PM) *
I would be a lot thinner.


I got very thinner around a year ago. But moving house, inspection, other shit got on top of me. Just started at a new gym though and have gone every day for the past two weeks. If I can keep eating well, I may lose the weight again.
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post Jun 17 2017, 04:22 PM
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Well I haven't been on this site for 18 months quite yet but in terms of real life, my life was so different 18 months ago. I had finished my GCSEs and lost contact with all my friends. I had no hobbies or social life but things have changed now. I'm back in contact with friends, working full time and so life is generally better all round.

Getting my health back on track after some troubles earlier this year so hopefully by 2018 I will be 100% happy with my life. biggrin.gif
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HarryEzra
post Jun 17 2017, 04:26 PM
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Well I found out I need to post in more important and thought provoking threads more as I found out I have not posted in ANY of those threads laugh.gif
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Jade
post Jun 17 2017, 04:34 PM
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It has been a mixed bag since the beginning of 2016!

I will start with the positives:

♡ Entered my first ever long term relationship ~ you guys obviously already know the details of this one so just something to briefly touch upon. It has been a huge positive for me to be with someone who thinks the world of me (and vice versa) after having an 'epic fail' of a dating life prior to this.
♡ Improved academically ~ I never expected to be getting better grades in second year of University than first but I somehow bloody did it! Got my first ever A+ this year for my magazine project and got a better grade on my law exam than last year too.
♡ Improved body positivity and not completely hating the way I look any more ~ I used to really dislike my figure and thought I was too skinny but in the past 18 months I have put on a few stone and it means I am finally happy with my body, a fuller figure (without being super overweight) is something I always wanted. I also used to think I was extremely ugly on a daily basis but I have become more comfortable with the way I look now at last. I still feel insecure at times but nowhere near as bad as in the past.
♡ Trying to make more spontaneous decisions ~ I have taken the "why the hell not?" approach more in recent times - spontaneously decided to get a nose ring and I love it, also booking concerts on a whim like Gorillaz or The xx. Just trying to let my hair down more and not always be super serious/let anxiety get in the way of having fun

Negatives:

✘ Becoming less outgoing and more anxious ~ when I first took the myers-briggs test on here two years ago I was an extrovert and now I am comfortably introverted sad.gif I feel like I have become more of a reserved and shy person again which is SO frustrating as I was really improving in sixth form. I feel like more of a quiet presence at Uni than first year even though I do still have friends there, just need to push myself a bit more I think. I have always been anxious and a worrier (didn't sleep for 2 days in a row during A2 exams even though I already had an unconditional Uni offer lol) but I feel like I have got even worse, I just whip myself up into a frenzy of panic so often even about things that I just really don't need to worry about. I am trying more to get out of my comfort zone (for example I have really bad anxiety when it comes to travelling but have been pushing myself to go to places I don't usually go in the past 18 months, my self belief is in the gutter at times and I tell myself I cannot do things even though I can in the end and that panic ends up being in the back of my mind all day and I'm just like... ffs why was I worried so much. Just need to believe in myself more at times.) and just need to work on not holding myself back and trying to come out of my shell again. Hopefully this will improve with age and when I'm in a full-time job/generally knowing what I am doing with my life~

✘ Terrible sleeping pattern ~ My sleeping pattern is in a bad place at the moment and I hate it because I keep wasting the days away. I have still been awake at 7am on a couple of occasions this week... I need to be up early tomorrow though so there's a good start, will aim to maintain it from then on.

✘ Unhealthiness ~ My diet and exercise routine (or lack thereof) have both continued to get worse, I used to be so sporty when I was younger but now it is almost non-existent. I was the fastest runner in my school and now I get out of breath just from walking for a lil while :') will try and eventually get the motivation to jump on the treadmill again regularly.

SORRY this was just the perfect opportunity for an essay :') TL;DR: hooray I am not forever alone, constantly thinking I am ugly/too skinny and am doing just fine at Uni despite worrying. However I flop more than ever at sleeping sensibly, eating well and exercising and socialising so lemme work on those.

Edit: 21,000th post *.*
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post Jun 17 2017, 04:37 PM
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I feel like a lot of the posting style changes have been a result from being more accustomed to the personalities and ways of life around Buzzjack and seeing everyone's eccentricities from the site become normalized. At the same time, we're all revealing new aspects of ourselves that maybe we haven't realized back then. Looking back at not even the past 18 months but during my first five BJSC appearances, I was more excited because it was all so new to me and now I'm just like "meh" tongue.gif
QUOTE(Cody SlayBarry @ Jan 4 2016, 02:33 AM) *
What is sleep tbh
I mean it still stands, it's gotten a lot better now that I've been improving on managing my sleep schedules and not trying to stay up until 2 in the morning tongue.gif A lot of it comes from classes that are not too early but not too late so that I don't have to wake up super early to avoid traffic.
QUOTE(Cody SlayBarry @ Jan 4 2016, 11:18 AM) *
Is it possible to be socially awkward and a social butterfly at the same time? I feel like that describes me. Like it's easy to talk to people but not so much trying to connect with them for a longer-than-the-length-of-a-party basis.
It's getting there. Back then I didn't have as much of a stable study group as I do now, and it's been a lot easier to connect with people rather than just finding others who were like me.

Man, all the name changes, that was the life.
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Liаm
post Jun 17 2017, 04:50 PM
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QUOTE(Liаm @ Jan 7 2016, 04:04 AM) *
Only one?? I'm going to do a self-depreciating essay post as well.

My weight would easily be the #1 if I had to pick one. People can say "just lose weight" as much as they want but that just isn't as easy as it seems, it especially annoys me when people who've never been overweight say it flippantly. It can't just happen, it's hard to change bad habits that have existed for so so long. I had issues with food a lot when I was about 14-16 or so and they've gone but still linger a bit, and that doesn't help when I can still eat way too much without feeling too full and I comfort eat way much. My weight is easily the biggest thing about myself that holds my confidence backs and makes me hate myself. I mean I know I'm not tat attractive or anything but I'd feel a hell of a lot better about myself if I wasn't fat. I honestly feel like anybody who might for whatever reason find me attractive in a picture on grindr etc. will see me in real life and me not being slim enough will put them off. I've been told my face looks like I should be a cute twink so I try to find pics where I don't look like that laugh.gif It puts me off even trying with anybody because I just don't expect anybody to find me attractive.

Mentally I'm far far better than I used to be, but one thing I would change there is what people have already said, a tendency to overthink and overreact. It'll just be really stupid things like in a group chat nobody replies and I'll assume they ignored me and I've ruined convo, when in reality of the 5 other people in it, 2 are at work and the other 3 are just busy, or somebody will make a joke and really I should know it's a joke but I get defensive. I do what Bre described too, dread doing certain things because in the build up to them I'll just think over and over about all the worst possible things that can happen when in reality said incident will pass in a few minutes and it'll be all fine. I've hardly ever actually experienced what my head tells me to be the worst possible thing, but it still happens all too often.

My work ethic is definitely a general ting too, a prime example being my sociology essay that's 1,500 words long and is due on Monday, which I haven't even touched yet so I'll be frantically staying up all night Sunday as well as picking at it all day besides smile.gif smile.gif smile.gif

A few years ago my simple answer to this would have been social confidence but I'm fine with that now (better with alcohol, which tbf is usually present when I have to meet too many new peopel kink.gif, but still fine without it), I used to struggle a lot socially but I've got really solid relationships now with great people I know are there for me, and just having that reinforce things really helps, so I have much more social confidence now. Oddly though I actually find it harder to speak to random people for shorter amounts than I do to fully get to know somebody. I'll make a new friend easily, but I'm more awkward for example meeting friends and friends and just talking for 5 minutes laugh.gif Little things like "being an adult" and asking in a shop or restaurant or making important phone calls still worry me a bit stupidly but that's linked to the "worst possible situation" thing and I know that will get better for me as I mature further and experience new things.

(thought I'd end that depressing post with something a bit more positive oops didn't mean it to be quite so depressively indulgent...)

My weight... Yeah no we'll leave that one that didn't happen :') I've probably put it on but I dread weighing myself so haven't in absolutely ages.

Mentally I think I am worse than then too oops, this year has been really up and down because at points I have been the happiest I've been in ages but others I've been the worst I've been since starting uni laugh.gif Atm is a bit low, I've done a lot of shutting myself in the room moping and making myself feel worse. I know it doesn't help but I still do it rather than just suck it up and spend time with people.

My work ethic was up and down as well but I always got stuff done in the end and the only time I really faltered was one of my summer exams, I still passed but did much worse than anything else all year. It's not something I'm necessarily that bothered about changing because the sort of last minute pressure thing I dod works for me so far. I know for my dissertation I can't do that but we get regular meetings and stuff and guidance so I know I have to keep doing it and showing my progress.

QUOTE(Liаm @ Jan 4 2016, 01:41 AM) *
Twice in the holidays i've gone to sleep at like 8am and got up at 7pm. That says it all smile.gif

Even when I am at uni, I don't really sleep that early (usually around 3am :/), I just get less sleep if I'm up early drama.gif As Jade said though I don't really have a pattern because it isn't fixed, changes wth modules as well so I might be in at 9am on a Tuesday, 1pm on Wednesday and 11am on a Thursday, obviously with varying times of going to sleep and waking up.

Yep same here too, I'm fine when I have uni or whatever structure to get up for but when I don't I'm awful for sleeping. For example today I went to sleep at 7am and only woke up at something ridiculous like 2 because my housemate knocked on my bedroom door to ask me something laugh.gif

QUOTE(Liаm @ Dec 26 2015, 07:38 PM) *
First half was pretty up and down, because obviously it was A2 coursework/mocks exams. Also not a great tme in my personal life, it was a case of so near but so far in terms of getting away for uni, I was not in a great place from about March/April until I left in September.

Going onto that, the big positive! Starting uni and the first few months of being there has been possibly the best few months of my life. I've made the best friends, whilst I do love my friends at home they never reply to things, never want to do anything etc., and it's brilliant when the best people are just round the corner and if you're bored you can just go and watch a film with them or something. Of course "actual" uni life has been hectic and busy with work etc. but I love the social aspect and jus being independent and, without being dismissive of anyone at home, being away from everything. In just a few months I've made the best friends and felt like I achieved something in my life - getting into uni and keeping on top of things, getting some good grades etc. It's ending a bit shit with Christmas, but I'm gonna make sure I'm going into 2016 strong on NYE biggrin.gif

As for the gig thing, I think I'd probably go alone if it was one of my faves laugh.gif When I saw Marina I went with my best friend who is even more of a stan than I am, but I think if it was Taylor, Demi, Kelly Clarkson etc., unless I was with someone who was as much of a fan, I'd probably rather go alone laugh.gif

Lol me thinking first year was hectic and busy...

Academically 2nd year was hell at times, so much awful stuff I had no idea how to do that caused so much stress, but I feel it was counterbalanced by the fact I actually felt challenged and fulfilled, when I finished stuff I felt accomplished and mostly they came back as good grades, so I felt that I achieved a lot whereas first year was like "oh was that it" and I kind of expected my first because it was all very easy. 2nd year I got a 2:1 and I'm so happy with it because to know that I did so well in such a challenging stage of my education makes me feel so fulfilled.

Socially it was less simple this year laugh.gif There were a lot of arguments and beef and passive aggressive shit at the end of second year and that kind of carried on all year. There was a silly argument about someone's birthday because she got all twatty that it wasn't perfect or some shit, and my best friend argued with her so she hates me and his girlfriend and a couple of others in our group... Some people sided with her and others with us so it kind of split the gorup, we still had pres all together sometimes and stuff like that, but there was always an air of awkwardness. I feel like first year was the euphoric "omg be friends with everyone!1!!" regardless of their interests or personality, and then in second year we were like we don't have anything in common why are we putting ourselves out for these people. In all honesty one of my housemates I am like 99% sure I'll never speak to or even SEE again, and one other we might just say hi if we see him. But we've all said in our group, we've just filtered out the shit and i'd rather have fewer true friends than loads of superficial acquaintances I pretennd are "squad goals".

QUOTE(Liаm @ Dec 31 2015, 04:09 PM) *
Doing well in uni mainly I suppose, which hasn't started off well as I'm not starting my 1,500 word essay until the 2nd tbh and I then have a report as well.... But it's the quality of the time not quantity xo

Losing weight is one I always say too, but living at uni and being independent financially doesn't make that easy and it fails enough every other year laugh.gif I'd also say a relationship but let's not get too ahead of ourselves.

Well I got a first in first year and a high 2:1 in second year so I can say I did this one *.*
As for relationship, lmao given I got my best friend to call me with a fake emergency on a first date last Friday you can guess how it's going x
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Chez Wombat
post Jun 17 2017, 04:55 PM
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Jeesh, this was before I started training as a teacher, Brexit and President Trump mellow.gif I guess you could say a lot's changed since then.

QUOTE(Chez Wombat @ Jan 4 2016, 10:35 PM) *
My sleep pattern is dreadful, I'm rarely asleep before 1am and often it's as late as 3 and I just can't get out of bed before 12pm these days (though never later than 1pm) which is...not good at all, but it's something I know I can only fix properly once I'm in a routine.

My problem (and I'm sure this is true for a lot of you!) is that staring at the computer screen can affect how you sleep so I've downloaded, thanks to a recommendation from my sister, a software called f.lux, which makes the light from your laptop screen adjust with the light in your room so it's not too bright when it's late. It's weird to adjust to, but I think a few of you might find this useful! https://justgetflux.com/


Well over the year, I've actually had things to get up for so it's at least kept me productive (and has had me on constant cups of tea) and having full days, that said, the minute the holidays and weekends come around, I'm back to normal except rare occasions. I just CAN'T seem to sleep before 1am these days even if I try my hardest. I'm hoping when I get a full time job, this will sort itself out, here's hoping as I really hate wasting the day.

QUOTE(Chez Wombat @ Dec 31 2015, 04:24 PM) *
I don't do resolutions but I DO have some clear aims - I'd like to get a permanent full time job, ideally something I can stick with in the long term. I'm scared for next year as it's gonna be so hard achieving and will be my first year out of education entirely, but if I can fulfill that aim and I enjoy it, I will be very happy. I also hope to work on my people skills and maintaining friendships, I say this every year really but this is an especially important time to try and fix this.


I never did get an actual job but I did get on a full time PGCE which certainly pointed me in the right direction that I needed. I made a lot of connections since then, but whether I'll stick with them is another matter but I will make the effort as friendships feel quite crucial at this point. I am still maintaining contact with the very few friends I've seen as well.

QUOTE(Chez Wombat @ Jan 4 2016, 08:05 PM) *
I'd definitely change my social skills/social UNDERSTANDING in general. I mean I am gradually getting better by the year, but really it does make life so much harder being such a big introvert in an extroverted world.


I was a big introvert in possibly the most extroverted place you can imagine this year! laugh.gif It's tough, but I also learned to adapt to this, as well as meeting people that are kinda similar to me and do thrive anyway!

My 2015 reflection is a bit long, but similar sorts of things to the above. Hopefully I won't be in the same place I was at the end of 2015 at the end of 2017 and will be in a secure job at least, I do now have a clear direction and experience which I didn't have then. I've not really changed per se, a lot of these thoughts/worries I still have now, but I have learnt an awful lot over the past 18 months and my personality has been challenged in many ways, I'm not quite in that completely happy place yet, but I certainly feel closer to it than I did then.
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mqh
post Jun 17 2017, 07:54 PM
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QUOTE(mdh @ Jan 8 2016, 10:46 PM) *
Looking forward to getting another square on my profile when I hit 500 posts laugh.gif the pleasures of life

Oh PISS OFF. 16 year old me makes me want to stamp on a rake so it smacks me in the face.
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lordita
post Jun 17 2017, 07:56 PM
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i still don't understand the squares sad.gif
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cq(uavo)merqn
post Jun 17 2017, 08:03 PM
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It's just how many posts you have
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Riser
post Jun 18 2017, 05:42 AM
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Omg this thread heart.gif My life has changed a lot in 18 months as well, certainly more than I imagined and mostly for the better!

QUOTE(Riser @ Dec 27 2015, 07:55 PM) *
My overall confidence has improved, both from working and from discovering some underlying body image issues that have been hindering my self-esteem for the last ten years. I went from being not very active a year ago to taking up bike-riding, golf, and yoga, so itís nice having some new hobbies and hopefully getting into better shape.

My biggest issue now is a lack of close friends and feeling more alone than I ever have. Iíve reconnected with a lot of people this year and have enjoyed catching up with everyone, but I still find myself with no one I can count on seeing on a regular basis, and itís very discouraging when I make most/all of the effort and no one seems to return the favor. Iím afraid to admit this openly and ask for support but need to do so before it gets any worse. That said, it was an unforgettable year and itíll be quite a challenge for 2016 to beat it!
With a little effort and a lot of luck I've found myself with much better friends now, and still reconnecting with people I haven't seen since high school or college. I tried to explain this to someone not long ago and it was weird but fascinating to think about, I almost feel like I went into hiding for a few years and just sort of reappeared because my low points are such a blur to me now. Part of this is finally feeling like my own person (rather than just a twin) and the rest is just being more appreciated, or more aware of it anyway, which has definitely helped my self-esteem. It's still a work in progress by all means but almost a complete reverse of where it was a year ago.

Glad to see so many positives from others here as well!!!
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post Jun 18 2017, 06:24 PM
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YES that OP mdh was a pleasure to read! Glad to hear you are well atm cheer.gif
QUOTE(Jade @ Jun 17 2017, 05:34 PM) *
✘ Becoming less outgoing and more anxious ~ when I first took the myers-briggs test on here two years ago I was an extrovert and now I am comfortably introverted sad.gif I feel like I have become more of a reserved and shy person again which is SO frustrating as I was really improving in sixth form. I feel like more of a quiet presence at Uni than first year even though I do still have friends there, just need to push myself a bit more I think. I have always been anxious and a worrier (didn't sleep for 2 days in a row during A2 exams even though I already had an unconditional Uni offer lol) but I feel like I have got even worse, I just whip myself up into a frenzy of panic so often even about things that I just really don't need to worry about. I am trying more to get out of my comfort zone (for example I have really bad anxiety when it comes to travelling but have been pushing myself to go to places I don't usually go in the past 18 months, my self belief is in the gutter at times and I tell myself I cannot do things even though I can in the end and that panic ends up being in the back of my mind all day and I'm just like... ffs why was I worried so much. Just need to believe in myself more at times.) and just need to work on not holding myself back and trying to come out of my shell again. Hopefully this will improve with age and when I'm in a full-time job/generally knowing what I am doing with my life~
Sorry to hear Jade! sad.gif there's nothing wrong with being introverted at all but it sucks to feel less comfortable in social situations. Good luck overcoming them, I've only recently started to gain more control over my emotions/anxiety etc. (which I thought I did around January time but that went very downhill after so I can't say FOR SURE how long I'll feel like this, although it's different this time in some ways)

I often come across YouTube videos discussing difficulties with this sort of thing and they use affirmations and other useful techniques to try and help people. The School of Life and Psych 2 Go are my faves which do other interesting videos. In fact this video slayed me recently and I was going to post it on here somewhere but I'll post it now as I'm sure many others will also benefit happy.gif
QUOTE(cqmerqn @ Jun 17 2017, 09:03 PM) *
It's just how many posts you have
That's a common theory, but I think people have tried to apply it to the post count and it doesn't really fit. It might take into account your regular posting pattern possibly thinking.gif
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mqh
post Jun 18 2017, 06:57 PM
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QUOTE(Spinning Allie @ Jun 18 2017, 07:24 PM) *
That's a common theory, but I think people have tried to apply it to the post count and it doesn't really fit. It might take into account your regular posting pattern possibly thinking.gif

Squares are awarded for:
1 = 0 posts
2 = 50 posts
3 = 200 posts
4 = 500 posts
5 = 1000 posts
6 = 5000 posts
7 = 20000 posts
8 = 50000 posts
[>8 unknown]

biggrin.gif
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