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> Standing up against HATE~
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HausofSZA
post Jun 27 2017, 07:22 PM
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Henrietta R Hippo
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So this has come directly from a scene I just saw on Eastenders. In short, a teenager was homophobic towards an elderly man while a younger guy (also gay) watched and didn't intervene. The old man pounced on the younger one and was angry at him for not speaking up against it and defending him.

So in this situation (imagining you are the young onlooker) what would you do? Do you have the confidence to stand up to someone if they are being homophobic/racist/bullyish to another? Have you ever experienced this in the past and if so what did you do?

Obviously in an ideal world we would all stand up to any injustice, but is this a reality? DISCUSS~
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HausofSZA
post Jun 27 2017, 07:24 PM
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In my day-to-day life I need to stand up against homophobia/racism/hatred, but it is in a controlled environment (a school) where there are clear rules and consequences and it is my JOB to prevent this.

.. However in the real world (and the scenario outlined above) I think my stance is completely different. I would love to have the confidence to stand up against a thug that is being homophobic or racist.. but I would not be able to for fear of the repercussions. I think my natural response would be to comfort the victim rather than go for the offender. Maybe I need to develop that in myself, but where do others stand? I don't think people should be sidelined or berated for not standing up to it either because we ALL have our fears and anxieties that need to be respected imo..
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MoistSummerFruit
post Jun 27 2017, 07:25 PM
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What was said in the scene?

It depends.

Whilst not likely to attack the ol man, if it is a group of thugs making a comment and you speak up, they will get even more aggressive and it could escalate the situation. This is esp. true if it is another young person like us doing the challenging.
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JosephStyles
post Jun 27 2017, 07:26 PM
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There is absolutely no WAY I would be able to stand up in that moment, but I think that's simply my nature? In real life I've always lacked confidence to stand up and defend people, although I would obviously be disgusted at what I'd just seen and I'd approach the victim afterwards to ensure they were OK. In an ideal world, we wouldn't have injustice full stop, but not standing up for someone in the moment isn't the fault of the onlooker.
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MoistSummerFruit
post Jun 27 2017, 07:27 PM
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I agree - especially if they do not or do not believe they have the SKILLS to deal with the situation and the fallout from speaking up against thugs.
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Mack
post Jun 27 2017, 07:30 PM
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Back in Year 8, I heard someone say the n-word to a person who was mixed race and I questioned it and said, I don't want to be in the same class with someone who says that about anybody. It happened actually the day after Emily Parr was excluded from Big Brother, I said why copy something which said on telly, about half the class walked out. Basically at lunchtime, he had basketballs thrown at him and our class said we won't go to lesson at all if he is there. He got expelled for it the same day and never returned.

Another thing happened in Year 10, teacher didn't do anything about at all. I questioned him and questioned his views about this, his Teaching Assistant said he couldn't help it as he has autism. Well I said that is no excuse at all. She then said to leave it. He was given an reprimand and told off for it.

In Year 11, also someone said about Jesus being a**hole and the TA got upset about it and questioned his view on this. She said that she had lost her parents and asked how would you feel if you lost your parents, he got upset as he was saying that he wasn't religious at all and he had lost his grandparents, I questioned to say that at least you haven't lost your parents, she has, no matter what you think don't bring religion into it. He said it was a joke it was straight after, I made a joke about someone having a carrot stuck in their bottom so he decided to then come out with that statement. In the afternoon, tensions were high between the student and the TA.
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HarryEzra
post Jun 27 2017, 07:34 PM
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I personally ould not but that is due to not having the guts and even then I don't think I would. It could easily worsen the situation and endanger life. I mean look at a previous storyline in EE where someone stood up for homophobia and it got them killed.
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Meatball Cody
post Jun 27 2017, 07:35 PM
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I had this experience last night, actually. My sister and I were watching the BET Awards, and my dad had the audacity to say that there should be WET (as in White entertainment Television). We both told him it was racist for him to say that and when he was confused why "black people have their own network" I kept telling him "White Entertainment Television" was just about every other television network and this was a place to highlight black culture, like how international stations are available on satellite TV and highlight other cultures.
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AllWeKnowOfSpadz
post Jun 27 2017, 07:36 PM
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This is the kind of thing that puts how frustrating having social anxiety is into perspective but that usually comes out of the equation if the offender is upsetting someone I care about and no one else is there to defend them. I'd usually say smt along the lines of "hey that's uncalled for :/" if it's clearly not a joke and the individual is hurt. If I think it's a misunderstanding of humour I'd clarify it first before embarassing everyone laugh.gif
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Mack
post Jun 27 2017, 07:37 PM
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Although now, I wouldn't say anything myself as again I echo what you say, Haus that it could make the situation worse.

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Moses!
post Jun 27 2017, 07:37 PM
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As a teacher i would have to stand up against these things as it is my duty but outside work i'm scared to stand up. Though i called a group of teenagers at the bus stop out when they were discriminating an old man but luckily i was with a group of people who agreed.
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MoistSummerFruit
post Jun 27 2017, 07:52 PM
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QUOTE(Mack @ Jun 27 2017, 07:37 PM) *
Although now, I wouldn't say anything myself as again I echo what you say, Haus that it could make the situation worse.


It was me who said that!!
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StillJupiter
post Jun 27 2017, 08:46 PM
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I would and have at work. I've had to eject people before which is actually pretty fun :3

In life, I'm not sure. Would depend where I was for sure. I know there was a case recently where a woman was bullied homophobically on a train by a group of older women where nobody intervened. I'd like to think I would have said something in that situation.
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Harve
post Jun 27 2017, 08:51 PM
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QUOTE(HausofSZA @ Jun 27 2017, 08:24 PM) *
In my day-to-day life I need to stand up against homophobia/racism/hatred, but it is in a controlled environment (a school) where there are clear rules and consequences and it is my JOB to prevent this.

.. However in the real world (and the scenario outlined above) I think my stance is completely different. I would love to have the confidence to stand up against a thug that is being homophobic or racist.. but I would not be able to for fear of the repercussions. I think my natural response would be to comfort the victim rather than go for the offender. Maybe I need to develop that in myself, but where do others stand? I don't think people should be sidelined or berated for not standing up to it either because we ALL have our fears and anxieties that need to be respected imo..

Comforting the victim is actually what should be done as it's assertive without being confrontational, and it still shows that you're willing to intervene. Not speaking directly to the offender and simply saying 'is this guy bothering you?' will help to de-escalate the situation and offer the victim a way out.

Whether I'd do this in practice I dunno. I'm pretty lacking in the awareness department but that also makes me calm under pressure I guess.


This post has been edited by Harve: Jun 27 2017, 08:51 PM
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T Boy
post Jun 27 2017, 08:59 PM
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I challenge this sort of behaviour on a daily basis as a teacher but tbh I don't really do so outside of school.

I actually find it quite intimidating to approach people I don't know who are displaying this kind of hatred. We live in a society now where people feel they have the right to say anything they choose and quite honestly, despite what I feel about the behaviour, I'd much rather not get involved.
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Jack
post Jun 27 2017, 09:34 PM
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I completely get why people wouldn't say something, but lately I've come to the realisation that I don't give a f*** what people think laugh.gif.

Only specific example I can think of is a elderly woman getting racist to a black person in M&S and I said "do you know that's disgusting" and asked him if he was okay. It is harder said than done, but I felt so good when I did.
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Jade
post Jun 27 2017, 09:44 PM
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I think I would have an enormous urge to step in and say something if I witnessed a situation that made me uncomfortable. But I imagine that social anxiety would overwhelm me too much to actually get the words out and step up. I would definitely check in on the victim of the situation and make sure they were okay afterwards but I would feel so afraid in the heat of the moment and worried about escalating the situation. Plus I think my dad being vocal in a nightclub when he was younger and getting beaten up has scarred me a bit. I am passionate about what I believe in and I feel like I usually speak up when I feel iffy about something that a family member/friend/acquaintance has said... but like others in this thread I really lack the confidence that situations like this would require.
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Liаm
post Jun 27 2017, 11:11 PM
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I'm not the most confident person but there is no way I can stand back in situations like this, if it's like violent and dangerous obviously I'll stand back but if it's just someone just being a bit nasty I do tend to say something. Like once on a bus these people were speaking in Italian being really horrible about a Muslim woman saying she was a terrorist and they felt unsafe, I was a bit wary of assuming as obv I'm not fluent in Italian but I knew the gist and was sure enough to tell to shut up in Italian and they were SHOOK and didn't say a word after that. I've done it before when an elderly man was cussing under his breath about a gay couple in town as well. I'm just that sort of person, I'll be argumentative or assertive if I have to do and I feel like it just flares up in me when something like that happens and it's something I believe in and will speak against.
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Cherry.
post Jun 27 2017, 11:19 PM
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Even at my work I've had times where I've dealt with people who have complained about other customers, thankfully nothing as extreme as homophobia or racism but I've had people come up to me complaining about other people for silly things, like oh they're not being harsh enough on that crying child. If it's not extreme hate I just have to smile and nod to avoid any meltdowns (I'd hate for the other customer to get embarrassed) but then if possible I'll always go do something nice for the other person! Once tough I had one lady who was being served by the lady behind me who was commenting on a customer I was serving at the time, she was proper laying into how the mother looked, how it wasn't suitable etc. I made sure to tell that lady right in front of the complaining customer how beautiful she looked, and that shut the other lady right up *.*
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HausofSZA
post Jun 28 2017, 06:50 AM
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I think I'd have the courage build up if I saw someone hating on a dog / animal. That's when I know I'd say something! I once saw the homeless man that lived outside my flat dragging his dog aggressively one evening and since I saw that, I could never give him anything because I felt angry internally and switched to dog treats instead sad.gif dogs deserve all the love in the world.
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