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awardinary
post Jun 28 2017, 02:52 PM
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I want to make a topic on the importance of identity.

In an age where identity theft is a new form of criminality and people online trying to be something they are not, I wanted to get your views on a couple of matters.

As you likely know by now, I over-analyse everything, especially when it comes to who I am and how others perceive me. To me, a person's identity is one of the most important things they can possess. With an identity comes reputation, and everybody wants to be accepted and well thought of by others. Nobody wants to have a bad reputation to their name. People may often say things behind someone's back and accuse them of whatever, and this can of course create gossip and rumours, thus tarnishing a person's reputation.

At the core, I feel it is very important to understand who you are and what you stand for. I often seem to have days where I press a reset button so to speak, and I stop and think about who I am, what my goals are and where I'm heading in life. If I don't feel certain about what my identity is then it causes me to get stuck in a rut and make no progress. I need to be sure of this in order to carry on and to grow as a person. It's paralysing not knowing who you are, and any life event can cause you to lose sight of this important matter. I have to keep checking myself to make sure that I'm on the right path and that I am doing what I set out to do.

Questions I consider;
    • WHO AM I?
    • WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?
    • WHERE AM I HEADING IN LIFE?
    • WHAT DO I WANT FROM MY LIFE?
    • WHAT REASONS DO I HAVE TO KEEP GOING?
    • HOW WILL I FIND TRUE HAPPINESS?
Maybe none of this will make any sense to you, but it does to me, and I felt the urge to put it out there and express myself freely. This helps me to get clarity of thought and to comprehensively understand what my own identity is and what my true purpose in life is. I need to look forward, not backward, inward, not outward. I need structure and I need to find self belief. I also need self discipline to make continual progress and not fall into the trap of procrastination. I must do something and I must make changes. I will start now.

I take on board all the comments and compliments received from the Buzzjack Rate, as well as the criticisms, and I will strive to be a better person in the future once I've reshaped my new identity. I need to figure out just who that is.

Sorry if I've taken 5 minutes of your time that you'll never get back again!


This post has been edited by awardinary: Jun 28 2017, 02:52 PM
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t=SpunderfulXmas
post Jun 28 2017, 03:30 PM
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Andrew, you continue to slay me with your thread topics heart.gif

I've had this at the top of my mind for months now. It might be my aspergers which I know we both have but I relate to a lot of what you've said. I've gone through identity issues a lot in that time and even now I don't really know the kind of person I am and I think in the rate no one else seems to know either laugh.gif I don't put pleasing people as my top priority in life decisions but I often do things or act in a way that I don't realise is wrong or irritating until people bring them up and things like the rate is a great chance for me to realise this and if I agree with what they've said I'll attempt to change. I think it's really important that people understand that, at least in my case, the things that come out in my posts don't always accurately reflect my real self and I get frustrated that I can see others viewpoints so easily that I don't always come to a decision on what I really stand with. I also don't like how my emotions can interfere with my identity and rational thoughts which leaves me lost and unsure whether or not my happy or sad emotions is the most accurate representation of me confused.gif
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Houdini
post Jun 28 2017, 03:37 PM
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Did my almost word for word response to danG's rate inspire you to make this thread awardinary? tongue.gif


As I said just now in the rate thread you cant please everyone, there is no person in the history of mankind that is/was liked by everyone so the best thing is just to stay true to your own values and everything else will fall into place. If a person gives weight to every bit of criticism that gets thrown at them or if they do what everyone else tells them to do then the person will be lost and have no sense of worth or dignity. It's important to have a strong mentality at all times.
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awardinary
post Jun 28 2017, 03:55 PM
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QUOTE(Logged in as: @ Jun 28 2017, 04:30 PM) *
Andrew, you continue to slay me with your thread topics heart.gif

I don't put pleasing people as my top priority in life decisions but I often do things or act in a way that I don't realise is wrong or irritating until people bring them up

Thank you Adam. heart.gif

That's so true, I hope Cameron along with a select few others read this as they've reminded me in the Rate of such times in the last year when I did something that wasn't appropriate and was unkind, even if my intentions at the time were good.

QUOTE(Logged in as: @ Jun 28 2017, 04:30 PM) *
I also don't like how my emotions can interfere with my identity and rational thoughts which leaves me lost and unsure whether or not my happy or sad emotions is the most accurate representation of me confused.gif

Aww Adam, I get you completely. *hugs*

I don't know how we each address these feelings. sad.gif
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awardinary
post Jun 28 2017, 03:57 PM
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QUOTE(Houdini @ Jun 28 2017, 04:37 PM) *
Did my almost word for word response to danG's rate inspire you to make this thread awardinary? tongue.gif
As I said just now in the rate thread you cant please everyone, there is no person in the history of mankind that is/was liked by everyone so the best thing is just to stay true to your own values and everything else will fall into place. If a person gives weight to every bit of criticism that gets thrown at them or if they do what everyone else tells them to do then the person will be lost and have no sense of worth or dignity. It's important to have a strong mentality at all times.

No, not at all actually, I've just been doing a lot of soul searching. tongue.gif

You have shared some fine wisdom just there, and I have to admit that you can't please everyone, and trying to can be very debilitating at times if conflicts between people arise and you're forced to take sides.

I truly do want to have that sense of worth and dignity you mentioned, and I'm glad that in your case you've found it. smile.gif
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ʟɪɴᴅsʟᴇɪɢʜ.
post Jun 28 2017, 04:06 PM
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Great topic wardy! I feel like this is gonna be a ridiculously long post but it's been a while since I whipped out an essay so kink.gif

Tbh I struggled a lot with finding my own identity, I guess I never really tried until I was beginning to find my own way in life. I feel like it's stereotypical to question everything like this during high school or when you're a teenager but I didn't really, idek how because it's something I'm incredibly conscious of now. I guess I felt like if I really defined myself and put myself out there, so to speak, it would only create more problems and more reasons for people to get at me etc. I always felt as though people kept a list of things "wrong" with me during high school and would only use them to insult me or whatever so the last thing I wanted to do was add to it (sorry for that little tangent I went off on)

BUT when I moved away from home and started college I felt like I was really starting my life and on a clean slate regarding who I am. Pretty much a lifetime of personal questions all kind of hit me in the space of a few years tho which was hella overwhelming :') I already knew what I wanted to do as a job and what I wanted to study and I had done since I was 12 and that's what I was doing so that was like my starting point. I used to even keep my music taste private as well so I decided to be a lot more open with that as I genuinely feel that's one of the biggest things that's shaped who I am and what inspires me and as a design student that's something you have to bring into your work etc a lot. One of my friends recently referred to me as her go-to music person, another one told me how she always feels like I've got the best taste and those seem like really small things but to me it feels like people actually picking up on little bits of who I am, and in a positive way. Being super into music and wanting to work in the industry as a designer is actually what I'm kinda known for at uni, even the lecturers are aware of it. So that's cool. By being open about most of my interests in college from the get go caused me to make friends who have the same sort of taste, that sounds so basic but like I hadn't had that before so it was surprising laugh.gif

I used to get so caught up in planning out my life, doing things by certain ages or whatever but I don't do that at all now. I just kind of go with the flow and see what happens. People talk about "the purpose of life" and to me it's just to be as happy as you possibly can be. That sounds so simple but pretty much everything comes down to that, so I only ever ask myself "am I happy" or "will this make me happy" and if yes then I keep going, if not I rethink. Sometimes it's not that simple but if going through something crap will lead to something good then it's worth persevering. Like I'm absolutely miserable in my job right now, but I need the cash so haven't got a choice with that really but I know come September I can cut my hours right down to my contract so I'm only in two days a week. If the other five days are good and worthwhile and ik I only need to work part time until I graduate then I can cope with it. I only ever think a few months ahead, there's enough to worry about here and now nevermind the future, I just take things as they come and that seems to be working okay for me.

As a person I just try to be as good as I can. I really pride myself in being a good friend and being there for people that are close to me and if I see a chance for me to make someone else happy then I do it, no question. But because I give so much that way, if these people can't so much as give me the time of day then I'm not in the least bit hesitant to step back, which seems harsh but it's just the way I work, I've wasted so much time giving people chances who don't deserve it. Friendships or even relationships should never be one sided. I like to think I'm very open-minded and good at putting myself in other people's shoes. I'm opinionated but I only see that as a bad thing if you're not open to other people's views. I know I'm over defensive and that can make me argumentative but when I've spent most of my life not showing who I am and people criticise things you've worked to value about yourself or make comments that you'd never regard yourself as, it's only natural to find out why they think that or sorta "prove" why that's wrong, I think that goes hand in hand with the reputation aspect of your identity that you highlighted Wardy because you want the world to see the person you've shaped yourself to be.

I think once you know who you are, what you want out of life etc and you're always being true to that then you're doing good. Things that make you individual should SO be taken advantage of and never be used against you. They're what make you you and anyone who makes you feel like you need to filter that or take on an identity that isn't 100% your own isn't worth listening to. I think that's what I stand for aside from doing what you love. People should have the freedom to always live as their authentic self.

Sorry that was so long winded, no doubt I'll think of other points to add in as well laugh.gif
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HowToPronounceMa...
post Jun 28 2017, 05:00 PM
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I really would like to respond to this topic as it's one that I've wanted to create before and this is a prominent topic in my life at the moment but I just can't condense it down to a smaller post. I've tried everything sad.gif
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t=SpunderfulXmas
post Jun 28 2017, 05:04 PM
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QUOTE(Mattias @ Jun 28 2017, 06:00 PM) *
I really would like to respond to this topic as it's one that I've wanted to create before and this is a prominent topic in my life at the moment but I just can't condense it down to a smaller post. I've tried everything sad.gif
I think this is a suitable place for an essay Mattias! biggrin.gif
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HowToPronounceMa...
post Jun 28 2017, 05:12 PM
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QUOTE(Logged in as: @ Jun 28 2017, 06:04 PM) *
I think this is a suitable place for an essay Mattias! biggrin.gif

https://www.megaessays.com/viewpaper/91864.html

kink.gif
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t=SpunderfulXmas
post Jun 28 2017, 05:16 PM
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QUOTE(Mattias @ Jun 28 2017, 06:12 PM) *
offtopic.gif laugh.gif
"Continue reading this essay" should be a thing on here :')
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dancember
post Jun 28 2017, 05:19 PM
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QUOTE(Logged in as: @ Jun 28 2017, 06:16 PM) *
offtopic.gif laugh.gif
"Continue reading this essay" should be a thing on here :')

Off topic, but it is possible to condense a long essay into a short post.

CODE
Long essay









Long essay


























Long essay















































Long essay
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Liаm
post Jun 28 2017, 05:21 PM
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Identity is possibly my fave topic in my degree so I might come up with an essay later too, it might be one of those threads kink.gif
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awardinary
post Jun 28 2017, 05:26 PM
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Oh no what have I started! laugh.gif
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HowToPronounceMa...
post Jun 28 2017, 05:27 PM
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QUOTE(awardinary @ Jun 28 2017, 06:26 PM) *
Oh no what have I started! laugh.gif

Noo, this is a great topic that I think interest many (including me), you did nothing lmao, it was all me. Apologies for derailing.


This post has been edited by Mattias: Jun 28 2017, 05:28 PM
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awardinary
post Jun 28 2017, 05:34 PM
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QUOTE(Mattias @ Jun 28 2017, 06:27 PM) *
Noo, this is a great topic that I think interest many (including me), you did nothing lmao, it was all me. Apologies for derailing.

No no, I wasn't responding to anyone in particular, I was just making a light-hearted remark! smile.gif

Please, I welcome all to share their personal views on the matter of an identity. heart.gif
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awardinary
post Jun 28 2017, 05:35 PM
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QUOTE(Mattias @ Jun 28 2017, 06:00 PM) *
I really would like to respond to this topic as it's one that I've wanted to create before and this is a prominent topic in my life at the moment but I just can't condense it down to a smaller post. I've tried everything sad.gif

Plus I too would really like to read this in full, if that link is it, do I need to sign up to read the rest of it, as I would like you if that's the case?
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post Jun 28 2017, 05:37 PM
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QUOTE(awardinary @ Jun 28 2017, 06:35 PM) *
Plus I too would really like to read this in full, if that link is it, do I need to sign up to read the rest of it, as I would like you if that's the case?

tbh that was just an essay on identity I found right there and then ph34r.gif It seems you do need to sign up to read it in full tho, yes
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awardinary
post Jun 28 2017, 05:38 PM
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Just for Dan's reference, if you were to write an essay in a codebox, I found it makes the text page too wide and you have to scroll from left to right between paragraphs.

I just tried it and it made the page tiny lol.

@Lindsey, your response has touched my heart, and I will respond in full to you very soon. heart.gif


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awardinary
post Jun 28 2017, 08:37 PM
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QUOTE(ʟɪɴᴅs @ Jun 28 2017, 05:06 PM) *
I think once you know who you are, what you want out of life etc and you're always being true to that then you're doing good. Things that make you individual should SO be taken advantage of and never be used against you. They're what make you you and anyone who makes you feel like you need to filter that or take on an identity that isn't 100% your own isn't worth listening to. I think that's what I stand for aside from doing what you love. People should have the freedom to always live as their authentic self.

Hi Lindsey,

As already mentioned, your post did touch my heart. I didn't quote all of it of course, but what you said then really told me a story of the journey you've been on, and really how far you've come from where you once were! I'm actually very proud of you for sticking to your principles and although of course you are very guarded, I don't see that as a weakness, in fact, I see that as a strength in that you like to take your time to assess any given situation to make sure it seems right and agrees with who you've decided to be as a person. I admire that a lot actually. I think it's something I fail to do at times and whilst going with the flow is something we all do, and there isn't anything wrong with such an approach to life, I feel that at times, especially new situations we find ourselves in (such as a new job, a new friend, a new home etc) it's wise to be cautious and gradually adjust to your new circumstances, which I think you personally have done very well from what you said there. happy.gif

I especially liked the part I quoted above. This is a very fair point, and it's exactly the sort of approach that I think works best. You are very level headed if that makes any sense, and I think that co was from what you said there. You are good at being yourself and letting people on Buzzjack see that side of your personality that is expressive and full of personality and your evident love for music. You've clearly come a long way to figuring out who you are, and I hope, and believe, that you are happy with that identity you've made for yourself. smile.gif

If you want to talk any more on this subject I'd gladly listen to your sound reasoning. It's refreshing hearing what others think and feel when it kind of validates how you are feeling too.

I think that's maybe why me and Adam suddenly seem to really understand each other and our emotional make up to some extent, and that's largely due to our Aspergers Syndrome I'm lead to believe. But again, it's not a weakness, it's just a unique set of circumstances we each have, and we must constantly adjust to throughout our lives. Glad to know he's there for me as I am for him too, and any one else who may feel this way but might not have the courage to speak up. wub.gif

One thing I have decided today about myself, and the identity I want to create, is I want to start being known as someone who does things for others, someone who gives of themselves, as I believe that is something I could work on and it would distract me from my present problems. Maybe I'll volunteer more or give to charities or whatever. Something for me to think some more about.
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t=SpunderfulXmas
post Jun 28 2017, 10:33 PM
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QUOTE
One thing I have decided today about myself, and the identity I want to create, is I want to start being known as someone who does things for others, someone who gives of themselves, as I believe that is something I could work on and it would distract me from my present problems. Maybe I'll volunteer more or give to charities or whatever. Something for me to think some more about.
this!

I'm often overthinking how little impact I actually make in other people's lives and either it's that or I just end up making theirs more miserable which makes me more miserable laugh.gif it's not much but I have been volunteering to help build a community orchard in my town with no wages, I happily do it for free and I like the fresh atmosphere and everyone is so friendly there too heart.gif if I'm shit at social interactions then at least my (external) positive attitude and labour assistance can make others feel good about themselves aha kink.gif
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