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SpookE
post Oct 12 2017, 10:32 PM
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How do you feel about your gender? That might seem like a weird question but it seems that, as a culture, we're more aware to the arbitrary nature of gender roles (i.e. stuff that's "girl stuff" or "boy stuff") and I'm aware we're a forum with both a higher than average LGBT membership and a lot of people I'm assuming wouldn't necessarily describe themselves as having interests that uniformly line up with their identified gender (or maybe we do? TEL ME PLS) which makes for an interesting dynamic to talk about potential relationships with gender.

As usual, I'm starting this thread mostly so I can talk about myself. I know some of you may have seen that thing a bit ago where I posted that I was agender (which didn't get nearly as many responses as Andrew did when he said he was too so a polite go fornicate yourselves to the rest of y'all) and...well, psyche! I've been on a journey since then and I've kinda realised that what was driving me towards thinking that was more that my own ideas of what it means to be "A Man" were very self-limiting. Since Masculinity (in my experience at least) is the one gender where the failure to measure up to a certain standard of it is socially shamed and my reaction since has essentially been that everyone else is wrong and I'm fabulous, and a man. Plus having met some genuine nonbinary/agender people through Uni, I know that I aint suffered the internal dilemma over my gender that they have so I'm not gonna try and claim an identity that isn't mine to claim.

Anyway, enough about me, how about YOU? Have you ever felt like you're judged for having atypical interests/behaviour according to your gender? Do you think that what we assign as characteristics of these genders and how strongly the political right especially try and gatekeep these characteristics especially just seem arbitrary and weird? Do you dream of the queer androgynous utopian future?
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Liаm
post Oct 12 2017, 10:35 PM
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Tawdry Hepburn
post Oct 12 2017, 10:52 PM
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I'm personally a huge advocate for not conforming to society's idea of supposed "gender norms".
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ᴄᴀɴɴɪʙᴀʟɪɴᴅs.
post Oct 12 2017, 11:12 PM
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To put it bluntly, gender roles are utter bullshit tbh. I've never felt the need to question my gender but I've definitely felt pressure to be more "feminine", mostly from my parents. The thing is, I'm not particularly masculine though laugh.gif I would say I'm pretty neutral as far as "typical" masculine and feminine traits go, particularly with the way I dress. It does get to me how so many assumptions are made just from how you present yourself regarding gender and it's so wrong :') in the case of my parents it's always about how I dress, they want me to wear things that are more girly and I think it stems from worrying that I'm gay or something as they're not the most open minded. For instance, I'll talk about tattoos with my mum and she'll be like "I don't like them on girls, they're very butch and only lesbians have them" etc. Like I said, I don't dress that masculine, I wear jeans and band tops, hoodies, shirts, denim or leather jackets, y'know just standard things that anyone could pull off, regardless of their gender. I just wear what I'm comfy in but people read too much into that sometimes.
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Spun's Labyrinth
post Oct 12 2017, 11:50 PM
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I like to surprise people with my interests kink.gif
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Liаm
post Oct 13 2017, 12:01 AM
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Yeah I'm just into what I'm into, I act how I want to act, I cba being into football or boxing or whatever just because that's the "male" thing to do... I know I am a male regardless of that and not fitting typical expectations (ie being a "lad") doesn't mean I'm not. I guess I play loads of video games which would be typically male but like, why? I know a lot of people say it but it is just so constructed, it's so stupid that it was just somehow decided that one day it was going to be "masculine" if love football and "feminine" if you sing along to Britney Spears on the radio. It's the same with things being "gay", when you're confused as a teenager it only ups things when you're told you have to be this that and the other because of what you enjoy doing, how you present yourself, down to the mannerisms you adopt and the way you speak. But legit why? People just are what they are, I guess it's human nature to like to easily categorise things, and detach from other things by giving them "opposite" labels. There are biological differences between males and females, but there is no biological code that dictates that women can't do that job or males can't enjoy that hobby.
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FreddyVsJupiter
post Oct 13 2017, 07:45 AM
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Yeah I don't believe in a lot of that stuff being innate. People love to argue things are so that they fit their worldview, but when you discover pink and blue used to be the other way round (blue being the colour assoc with the Virgin Mary) and stuff like horse riding and acting used to be men-only and the height of masculine prowess that women and girls' puny, foolish brains and bodies couldn't handle, it becomes pretty hard to believe in any of it.

Loads of other examples too like tights, high heels, long robes like maxi dresses being originally men-only and stuff like computer programming being used to be seen as something menial for women to do just like an extension of being a typist or secretary.
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vidcapper
post Oct 13 2017, 09:10 AM
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QUOTE(SpookE @ Oct 12 2017, 11:32 PM) *
How do you feel about your gender?


I'm very happy with it.

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Jade-o-Lantern🎃
post Oct 13 2017, 12:37 PM
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I cannot stand the gender expectations that society has bestowed on us. The first thing that comes into my head is that "Man up" has got to be one of the worst phrases in existence? It is such a damaging attitude to just tell guys to man up because god forbid they actually show emotions, society should promote talking more instead of being met with 'man up' because who knows what bottling up bad feelings could lead to. Anyway that point out of the way, I am happy with my gender and would say I'm pretty feminine. Although I was more of a tomboy when I was younger: 'Sk8er Boi' Avril was my idol, I would dress far less feminine and one sport I decided to take up was karate which was very male dominated in my classes. But even now I wouldn't ever hold back from something I wanted to do in fear that it's 'not for girls' or whatever. I had computing as a back-up A Level choice and I would have been the only girl in my class laugh.gif screw gender norms!

The main thing that does bug me about being a woman is that a fair chunk of society doesn't take us as seriously as men. Even other women. "It's a man's job!11" utters Sue age 57 from Facebook. Also some double standards are a headache such as guys being branded 'top lads' for sleeping around but girls are scum of the Earth for doing the same thing.
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HowtoCookMattias
post Oct 13 2017, 12:58 PM
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I've always felt like a guy and I'm okay with it, but it's not so much that I particularly feel I have certain interests / behaviours that are generally associated with men. I just never had that internal conflict about my gender and I never questioned it, unlike my sexuality.

I do remember when I was a kid, my Dad and I were sitting in the kіtchen and he said to me that I should be interested in cars and stuff. I didn't understand it at all because I've always just wanted to be interested in whatever I was interested in (at that time it was always music, researching things I was into at the time, making up games etc), and I have a hard time with the word "should", I don't like it. I do have an idealistic longing for a utopia when it comes to freedom, equality and open-mindedness.
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DANKENSTEIN
post Oct 13 2017, 02:37 PM
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I would say I'm not as stereotypically masculine as most others (not into video gaming, sports, cars, partying etc.), though I definitely have more masculine traits than feminine and I consider myself to be straight, though I've yet to have any kind of relationship.
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Lorderella
post Oct 13 2017, 08:45 PM
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people are so ignorant. the majority doesn't even want to accept that gender identity doesn't always have to match your biological gender. and there's a third thing - sexuality - which is a third thing that doesn't have anything to do with the previous two.

for them it's all black and white, male and female. nothing inbetween. but i don't like those people not because they don't have understanding of gender. it just means they are close-minded with everything else alike. trying to convince them otherwise never ever works.

the worst and saddest thing is the gay community in particular also plays a part in this. if only everyone would look up from their nearest grindr date's asshole and educate themselves on gender and all the meanings it involves. sad.gif
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Lorderella
post Oct 13 2017, 08:52 PM
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as for my gender identity i am still on a journey to finding out what i am to be honest. in the russian language verbs have masculine and feminine forms and for YEARS i've been trying to use other genderless forms or say something i want to say without making the verb masculine when talking about myself. i still do that. i hate using sentences likes 'i did that', instead i would say 'this is done'. this probably means something agender-like but i'm not making any conclusions yet.
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jessie j
post Oct 14 2017, 07:20 AM
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Yeah, I'm totally not comfortable with my gender. I think most people that know me will probably know I'm a lot more feminine than is 'normal' for a man, but gender norms are a load of rubbish anyway and a majority of people I associate myself with agree with me - so I don't see why I shouldn't just carry on being myself as opposed to the typical male (which my dad seems to think I should be :')).

Everyone should act how they want to act, not have to conform to bullshit stereotypes.
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PeteFromLeeds
post Oct 14 2017, 07:53 AM
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I remember throwing a coin into a wishing well when I was about 5 and going 'I wish I was a girl' (although that was more to do with the fact people were calling me 'a girl' at school and if I was a girl they wouldn't have been able to do that tongue.gif). Nowadays though I can't see myself as anything other than male. Whilst I'm not a fan of things like football or gaming, there are enough 'masculine stereotypes' I fit into, and the majority of my friends have been male ever since I left primary school.
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bipolar angel
post Oct 14 2017, 07:35 PM
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in the words of that song from the 60's...

" I was born a woman, I'm glad it happened that way"
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5 Silas Frøkner
post Oct 15 2017, 09:17 AM
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I identify as male. f*** masculinity as a concept though. It's a toxic waste dump of shitty ideals and concepts forced upon us by shitty people.

Basically, f*** the patriarchy.
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Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 23rd October 2017 - 05:53 AM