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Regina
post Jan 5 2018, 11:51 PM
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Serious topic alert ;o

During a nice family chat today, my Mum dug out a photo album and found a ton of picstures of my Aunt (Dad's sister) who died a few days after my brother was born, so I obviously never got a chance to meet her or get to know her. And it got me to thinking of how many of us have family members who meant a great deal to our parents and other family but who we ourselves never got to meet because they passed away. It makes me wonder how differently our lives could be with these people in them rather than just photos and memories.

My Mum has a sister too and long story short, we do not get on. She doesn't like my Mum much either,she is a manipulative and horrid woman who lies and tries to one up everyone. I have never felt close to her and feel like I missed out on that Aunt-Nephew relationship that so many people around me have. I also never had the chance to have an Uncle or cousins because she is undateable and tno man would go near her (common rumour in our family is that she's a lesbian)

My Dad's sister however, sounded like the complete opposite. My Mum considers her the sister she always wanted and always has lovely stories to say abut her. She was also a stunning woman (like a young Winona Ryder IMO, she got the looks based on how my Dad looks) My parents told me that she would have been the perfect Aunt and my brother and i would have proper cousins to grow up with and it makes me kinda sad and feeling like my life is missing something.

Goes to show how cruel this world can be. She sadly lost a battle with leukemia just hours before she got a chance to meet her nephew (my brother) although my Nan apparantly showed her photos of him and she stuck her two thumbs up wub.gif Also makes me feel for my Dad, he lost his Dad at a young age, then his sister and his Mum died a few years ago. He has two aunts and that's it for his direct family other than us.

So anyway, does anyone else have a member of their family who passed away before they were born or when they were so young that they can't remember them and feel like they are missing out on someone special?
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lewistgreen
post Jan 6 2018, 12:00 AM
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My nan (on my mum's side) passed away just before my 3rd birthday so I don't even remember her at all. I wish I'd have had the opportunity to as my mum talks so highly of her and apparently doted on me a lot when I was a baby sad.gif
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Bré
post Jan 6 2018, 12:02 AM
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My grandfather on my mother's side died before I was born and I really don't know anything about him (not even his name) as my mum never talks about him. When I was growing up I never really thought to question why I'd only ever met one of my grandfathers until one day I kind of figured it out and just had a quick chat with my mum to confirm it. I'm not really close with any members of my family outside my parents and my sister but it's a shame I never even got to meet one of my grandparents.
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Jade
post Jan 6 2018, 12:06 AM
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This is a great topic and something I don't feel I talk about very much at all. There is a really obvious one for me and that is the granddad who I never got to meet, my mum's dad. I have only ever heard good things about him as my mum was apparently a bit of a daddy's girl. The story of his death is so upsetting, he came upstairs to tell a then 16-year-old mum of mine to turn her music down and then died of a heart attack (due to alcohol poisoning) in her arms not much long after that in her room </3 what an utterly tragic thing to experience at that age. My grandma is still alive and has never remarried since, he was the love of her life and she always has lots of great things to say about him, on top of my mum's positive experiences. He sounds like such a kind person, it's a shame his life was robbed at a young age.

I was lucky enough to have most of my great grandparents living into their 90s while I was still a teenager so knew them pretty well and I still have my three other grandparents. But there was one exception with the great grandparents also, a great grandad who died when I was about 5, so I barely remember him at all. My dad really looked up to him though and was really affected by his death. So it is a real shame that I never knew him properly as I look up to my dad majorly, so his seal of approval is usually a good thing.
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Jüpiter
post Jan 6 2018, 12:07 AM
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Yes I have an aunt who passed before I was born too. She and I would have been very similar and ironically I now have just about her role in the family, the peacekeeper/mediator. She was the youngest too so it really affected everyone on that side of the family really strongly, and probably everyone would have been that bit different if things had happened differently.
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BridgeCow
post Jan 6 2018, 12:08 AM
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My Grandfather (Dad's Side) died well before I was born and my grandparents on my Mum's side are both Taiwanese and don't speak a word of English and I think I've seen them like once when I was really young but never since. So the only grandparent I've seen was my Grandma. I had 2 aunties, one has passed now, who live in Belfast so me and my Dad used to go every Christmas to spend it over there with my Cousins too, but we haven't been for the past 3 or 4 years so I only really see them very rarely when there's weddings or funerals tbh which is a shame cus I have some really amazing memories from when I was younger spending time in Belfast at christmas sad.gif
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Lindsey 🙃
post Jan 6 2018, 12:11 AM
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ahhhh families, it's always this time of year you realise how f***ed up they are :')

My dad's mum died well before I was born, his dad died not long after I was born (I think, either that or it was before), my mums dad died before I was born too so I only really grew up with one grandparent, my gran on my mums side. Unfortunately she died when I was ten but out of everyone in my family she was always the one I felt closest to. That gran has a brother though but he and his family cut ties with us after my gran died so the only family on my mums side that I do get to see is my Auntie, Uncle and little cousin. The great uncle that cut us off for whatever reason has three daughters though, so that's like a whole string of cousins ect that I don't know. I remember meeting them when I was really young as when my gran was around, everyone was "connected" through her so it meant we saw them all at birthdays, over easter or christmas etc.

Cutting people off seems to be a massive theme in my family and I hate it because it affects everyone. Like these issues are things that were between my parents and whoever but because of it, it means I'm not getting to keep in touch with family I maybe would have liked to have and if you try and reach out it's like an act of betrayal almost :') My dad has 3 sisters and a brother, we're only still in touch with one of my aunties. One of his sisters lives near Tobermory or some radom place like that, I haven't seen her since I was like 5 probs, I know shes married with three kids who are older than me but I only ever met a couple of times when I was really young. My other auntie that I don't see I was pretty close with as well, she lived in the area of Glasgow my dad grew up in so was never that far from us, so we'd go visit her a lot and stay over for weekends etc when I was a kid but then when I was like 10, she up'd and left with her husband, sold her house and just travelled about in a campervan for god knows how long, that's the last anyone heard from her. I have two cousins from her too that I never see. My dad's brother wasn't brought up as his brother but as his uncle or something weird like that bc of some drama about babies outside of marriage, idk but i think i've legit met him once or twice and he doesn't keep in touch either. My dad has loads of cousins, his family is massive yet I don't know any of them. I found out the other week actually that he has a cousin who is a post grad lecturer in illustration and graphics / communication design at glasgow school of art and has his own design studio, and literally his work is so similar to mine it actually freaked me out laugh.gif I think once I've got a folio together and I've graduated etc I may reach out to him, even though I'm a complete stranger to him but we share the same surname so why not ;o

I couldn't for the life of me tell you why there's so many family members that just don't talk to us, I do think it's a shame but at the same time, most of my cousins are older than me, my aunties are grown adults, it was their choice not to make sure I still knew them growing up even if they didn't get on with my parents or whatever their beef is.

oh I also found out when I was 16 that I have a half brother ten years older than me roaming about the highlands or somewhere. He met us when me and Cameron were not long born but then his mum cut him off from my dad and my dad couldn't do anything about it even though he tried though lawyers and stuff or something idek.
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Cameron
post Jan 6 2018, 12:23 AM
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I mean Lindsey summed that up so I don’t need to post 😂 (mums dad died the Christmas after we were born, I have the photo of us with him on my wall)
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CodyOfTheWoods
post Jan 6 2018, 02:22 AM
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My mom and my aunt had a third sister who died when she was little and that was loooong before my parents even met. Only one could dream what she could have been like as a person, as an aunt, etc.
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MvG501
post Jan 6 2018, 08:33 AM
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My Mum's granddad and Dad's grandparents who sadly passed away before I was born.

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Flatcap
post Jan 6 2018, 10:05 AM
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My dad's dad passed away when I was 3 and just a week after my brother was born. Obviously there are photos of me with him, but I don't remember him at all. I am going to quiz my dad on what he was like as I know very little about him or what his interests were.

My mum's dad passed away from a heart attack before any of us were born. My mum and my aunt talk about him a fair bit, so despite his passing before I was born I know him a bit better than my paternal grandfather.

Not quite the same thing here, though similar. My aunt died back in 2003, I wish I had spent more time with her when she was alive. She and I would have had a whale of a time discussing historical architecture and history, my love of those topics came from that source according to my dad.


This post has been edited by Flatcap: Jan 6 2018, 01:45 PM
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T Boy
post Jan 6 2018, 10:36 AM
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My mother discovered she was pregnant with me just a few days after my paternal grandmother’s funeral. My mum’s parents had her young and are still with us whereas my dad’s parents had him at 45. My grandmother had a stroke at 73 and died many months before I was born. I had my grandad on that side until I was 12. So I’ve only ever known one grandmother although I sort of had two because my great Nan on my mum’s side was with us until I was 17.

I only hear lovely things about my dad’s Mum. She seemed to have been a great cook and a lovely woman. My mum looks up to her more than she does her own mum. I always wonder what she was like and how I’d have gotten on with her. She has 14 grandchildren but I was the first one she never got to meet (I was no.10). My brother met her but he was only a baby and can’t remember.
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Avicii
post Jan 6 2018, 11:11 AM
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Never met one of my mum's sisters as unfortunately she died in her 30s before I was born. I don't remember the whole story but it was quite unexpected and tragic. Also, my dad's dad died in old age when I was too young to remember ever meeting him.
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ionderella
post Jan 6 2018, 11:43 AM
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My grandma had only one brother who survived to have children (all of her siblings but one died at early age) but I only saw some of them once when they visited my grandma a month before her death from cancer. don't even remember their names. have a strong suspicion I never even knew them though. they never in their entire lives expressed any interest to get to know us so I don't quite care either. they seem to have spread out and I think I have a few second cousins but meh.

as for father's side i don't stay in touch with anyone anymore including my father. mostly because in order to get in contact with, say, my grandma I would have to talk to him and it's the last thing I want. Besides, I know I have nothing in common with most of those people anymore. Related by blood is not enough.

(this sounded a bit angry and rather antisocial and i'm aware of that :') )
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T Boy
post Jan 6 2018, 01:05 PM
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Also I have never met any of my cousins’ children. There are five of them in all with the oldest being nearly 15. I’ve always lived far away from my cousins and only seen them at big family events that don’t really happen anymore and I’m not close to all of them as the age gaps are huge (my eldest cousin being 47, my youngest being 22). Seen pics of them all though on Facebook and Twitter and stuff.
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Dobbo
post Jan 6 2018, 01:10 PM
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I was pretty lucky in that I both met & grew up knowing 3 of my great-grandparents. All on my Mum's side, my grandad's father passed away before I was born but his mother & both of my grandma's parents were all still alive until I was 7.
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