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Lindsey 🙃
post Jan 23 2018, 11:42 PM
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A very simple but very important concept, what do you do as an act of self care?

How do you make sure you're not forgetting about number one? What are the little things in life you do purely for your own happiness and mental well being? What are the small victories you celebrate?

This is something I suck at and have been trying to work at for the past year or so. Like, I'm bad at self care even in the general remember to eat, sleep and stay hydrated as basic human necessities sense laugh.gif But my automatic response to literally everything is to put myself second, it's basically the way my brain is wired but I also think there's a social stigma around doing things for yourself where you'll be seen as selfish or narcissistic and even self love and self acceptance are almost like foreign concepts to young people, it's only been recently that people have started to say hey it's good to love things about yourself and make sure you're doing okay before reaching out to others etc.

Anyway back to the main point, this topic came into my mind as I'm trying a different approach to it this year and going down the "healthy body / healthy mind" route as my kinda self care thing. I'm still doing the usual, have chill days to watch films or look for new music or buying something nice etc but as some of you know, my frame of mind has been f***ed lately so I'm just doing little things I ordinarily wouldn't to try and feel better in myself. I'm drinking so much more water, which seems like a tiny thing but I used to barely ever drink It, i relied on fizzy drinks do much so I'm trying to cut down on sugar and that seems like a good way to start and I've been doing good with that so I've decided to cut out/cut down on one thing each month and see how far I can go. I cant think of any more specific examples that I've always done other than when I'm going to uni I like to leave earlier and get the bus that takes the longer route so I've got that half hour or so to just put my headphones in and basically mentally prepare myself for the day ahead. That bus drops me off at the top of a hill behind the uni and it's a nice walk through the campus and down to my building that way too, especially first thing in the morning *.*

On a more personal level, I'm just not putting up with things that make me unhappy or I don't want to deal with if I don't have to, like certain people in my life or situations at work or uni or at home. I can't stress how important it is to surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself and who are positive and encouraging and you know are gonna be there to support you. Family members aren't an exception to this if they treat you badly

YOU DO YOU!! 2018 is YOUR year.

Sorry this turned out way longer than I planned kink.gif x
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Riser
post Jan 24 2018, 12:32 AM
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Don't be sorry, self care is amazing and very worthy of a thread!

I'm quite good at eating/sleeping/hydrating and even exercise to an extent, my main self care need is to get out of my own head and not be consumed by my thoughts. Sometimes that's just being around people instead of alone, even if I'm just listening and not engaging in conversation. Also I make sure to relax a bit and watch TV on Tuesdays which are my busiest days, and to relax/sleep in on weekends which is harder because I tend to feel guilty for not being productive. These are all definite priorities for me in 2018!
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Jade
post Jan 24 2018, 01:58 AM
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I totally advocate self-love as part of my aim to have a positive outlook on life. It is sad that a lot of people look down on it or take it the wrong way and view it as narcissism. It can be difficult to accept yourself but I think it is important to put yourself first and immerse yourself in the things you love when you have free time. So up with self care! Right now I am absolutely swamped in University work and have been scheduling three daily academic tasks to complete in my own time. I just completed the third (which felt great *.* I am feeling so productive this year so far) and am now putting self-care into action for a bit before bed, especially as I've been feeling a bit down due to illness! My #1 self care activity is to listen to euphoric music. I usually scour Spotify for feel-good playlists and some usually have gems in them even if I have to skip some questionable inclusions kink.gif Yeah, that totally works for me even if it seems like something so obvious. I also love to chat about anything and everything with people I love too. I hate getting lonely so it's important for me to surround myself with people both online and offline to keep me happy. It really is the simple things tbh! Watching some YouTube, having a bar of chocolate, lazing in front of the TV for a bit, aiming to get a full 8 hours of sleep so I can start my next day off well... etc.

I have already mentioned this elsewhere but soon I'm going to kickstart my weight loss plan as getting back down to 10 stone is a huge goal for me. It always feels so satisfying after I've had a lil session on the treadmill with my headphones in for instance so that will be an impending self-care journey!
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M.
post Jan 24 2018, 06:40 PM
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QUOTE(Riser @ Jan 24 2018, 12:32 AM) *
I'm quite good at eating/sleeping/hydrating and even exercise to an extent, my main self care need is to get out of my own head and not be consumed by my thoughts.

are you me

I never thought of self care as narcissistic, or it being seen that way, but I guess I see where that comes from. I wouldn't worry about it tbh. I do think you're able to deal with other people and the world better if you've taken care of yourself. It's just about balancing things, ultimately it can make you a more dynamic and healthy person.

As hinted above, I do struggle with aspects of it and sometimes I realize how much better I could've / could treat myself. I think part of it comes from when I was younger, having experienced what I've perceived as a lot of criticism and some bullying. It has messed with my head but just, idk.. need to keep positive. The day I realize I've stopped feeding myself, drinking water or listening to music is the day I know I've really gone downhill tongue.gif So far that hasn't happened so I'm hanging onto some positivity.
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HausofTroye
post Jan 24 2018, 06:42 PM
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What a lovely thread heart.gif

I guess the main one for me is a weekly night where I forget about everything and just go out and have FUN. Usually a night out to my favourite places - dancing is a major cure for me and a way of treating myself for a week's work whilst also providing something to work too.

Recently it has been a range of fruit and vegetables and having a very healthy diet. I find that i'm much more upbeat and alert and generally feeling really good about myself.

Music as mentioned by others too is a MUST.
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Liаm
post Jan 24 2018, 06:55 PM
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Even if I've had a really busy day I try to make sure I have like an hour to play PS4 or watch something, I feel in a much better mood that way. Jut to take some time to do something that *you* want just for yourself is so underrated, I've seen it disparaged and referred to negatively also but that's so stupid. I get burned out if I'm around people constantly doing stuff all day so my "self care" is to do that, take myself to my room and play PS4. If people can't understand that then f*** them, sometimes you have to just look after yourself in whatever small way.
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T Boy
post Jan 24 2018, 08:10 PM
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I’ve learned through the world of work that you simply have to take time for yourself or you’ll burn out. I go swimming every morning before work. I live it, it gives me time to think and do something else before getting stuck into work. I also have a dip in the hot tub as well which helps so much.
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Chez Wombat
post Jan 24 2018, 08:31 PM
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I try to go for a couple of long walks with music in every week, it's the ultimate mental cure for me and often clears myself of being consumed by negative thoughts so much and instantly feels like something productive I've done with my day. For me, it definitely is true that the less I'm doing with myself, the worse I feel. I'm trying to interact with people a bit more at work and even just with my family at the dinner table, as someone that's always had issues with social skills, I have found that at least a bit of successful interaction with other people certainly makes me feel a lot better.
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Jack
post Jan 25 2018, 12:32 AM
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I'm completely with Liam, I *need* ME time. If I don't get an hour a day I get so ratty and irritable.

I always make sure to look after myself in doing things that make me happy and I've been fine in saying no to things as well - i.e if a friend wants to go out after work when I'm shattered, it's fine to say no, you don't have to feel obliged.
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Lindsey 🙃
post Jan 25 2018, 03:13 AM
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Yea saying no is a tough one for me actually, but it's not so much that I feel obliged to agree, it's that I feel as though I'd be letting someone down if I didn't. Usually going out with friends does do me good though but there has been a few occasions, particularly where I've been out for drinks or something and I'm knackered and feeling really low, if I start drinking in that mood I stay that way and it just goes downhill, then I end up wishing I hadn't agreed to go out laugh.gif I'd feel as equally bad if I went home early too though so it's something I really should be more mindful of tbh

it should be okay to be able to bail on plans without feeling guilty if you're just needing some time to yourself
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The-BrightPlaces
post Jan 25 2018, 05:41 PM
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love this topic Lindsey heart.gif

I've been trying to exercise more because I put on some weight over the Christmas period so if I get rid of that again I know I will feel a lot better about myself so thats one thing I'm working on. I've also wanted to learn to play the drums since I was in primary school and I've had an electric kit since I was around 16, but for some reason I've just kept putting it off and or making excuses that I'm too busy to learn, but i'm declaring 2018 to be free of stupid excuses so I've been practicing a few nights every week and its so much fun, now I've got into a routine I'm hoping I can stick with it and eventually be pretty good biggrin.gif Lastly I've been trying to get over a breakup and the last few months have been pretty rough but yesterday I deleted all the photos of my ex and anything relating to them on my phone, and today I put their hoodie I had been sleeping with (no not like that) in a bag and left it at their front door so I'm taking steps in the right direction on this one and I'm happy about it. That's about all
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Lindsey 🙃
post Jan 25 2018, 09:52 PM
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YASSS ALANNA *.* I'm happy to hear that! heart.gif u better learn some Paramore on the drums angel.gif
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The-BrightPlaces
post Jan 25 2018, 11:22 PM
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thanks linds wub.gif I will but twenty one pilots first wink.gif
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Jacob~
post Jan 31 2018, 05:24 PM
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Yass Alanna we need more drumsers, not enough people play. I guess it's because a) a full kit is expensive and b) no one lets them practice because of the noise. mad.gif

How's it coming along? x
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M.
post Jan 31 2018, 05:43 PM
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^ I had one of those "toy" drums (i.e. one that you prooobably wouldn't set up at your gig if you were a rock star x) as a kid / teen mellow.gif My sister and I used to also add pillows and cushions next to it for more "drums" lol. And we always made sure to play in the middle of the night while everyone else was sleeping. smile.gif (then we watched Ricki Lake cos that was like the only thing that was on at night)

I live in the nostalgic past more than the present it seems.
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JosephSprayberry
post Feb 1 2018, 07:13 PM
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The past year or so has been brilliant for me in terms of realising how to take care of myself. I've learnt how not to be phased by other people and their opinions of me, because ultimately it's my life and I need to ensure I'm satisfied above all else!

Also I've learnt to say no to things that would stress me out too much. I'm not going to worry myself over something for someone else, as I'd much rather be enjoying myself watching TV and chilling out. Obviously I'm here for my friends when I need them but equally, taking time for myself is mega important, especially when it feels like my evenings are so short laugh.gif
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