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T Boy
post Feb 13 2018, 04:24 PM
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Hi everyone, Iíve been thinking of posting this topic for a few days because this has been something thatís been on my mind an awful lot of late, particularly because of stuff that happens at work.

Anyway, I thought Iíd talk about trust. Who do you trust in your life? Why do you trust them? Do they trust you? Is it harder to trust these days, or just as you get older? Do you trust people without them needing to earn it?

I ask mainly because, through my job, I often find myself in situations where Iím questioning the trust someone else has put in another. For a generic example, a child has misbehaved at school and put the safety of others at risk. I speak with the parents and they argue with me over the consequence because the child has told them it didnít happen like that. I know for a fact that the incident occurred the way I said it did. Parents reply that their child would never lie to them.

Would you trust someone to that extent just because they were related to you? Did your parents trust you completely as a teenager just because youíre their child?

My parents did trust me as a teenager but I had earned their trust. I followed their rules (which werenít that strict) and I did my share around the house. They didnít trust my sister as a teenager because she was constantly lying to them and getting caught out. They trust her now as an adult, now she has earned their trust.

Iím rambling now, but just wondered if anyone else here had some thoughts on the subject?
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Jade
post Feb 13 2018, 11:54 PM
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I find it quite hard to fully trust people in all honesty as quite a few friends have betrayed me in the past. This is usually through lying, backstabbing or being constantly unreliable. Right now I feel like I can very strongly trust my parents, brother and Bray (honestly what is the point of being in a relationship if there's no trust there? doomed to fail from the start) and it's sad that my list is so short. I just feel like these people know me inside out and it would shock me to the core if any of them breached my trust. My parents raised me and my brother to be very well-mannered and trustworthy so I feel like we all have each other's back in this sense. It is sad that I don't have any friends on that list but I've drifted away from my sixth form friends quite a bit (</3 friends growing up and moving away sucks) and while I really like my friendship group at Uni, we're not Łber close and I couldn't single out one of them as my best friend for instance. This isn't to say that I don't trust them at all though, I just mean that I find it hard to really trust other people due to past experiences. I legit trust some people from here more than IRL people tbh, Joseph for instance (although we have met IRL twice, but ya know what I mean x) is someone who I would be happy to confide in and we do have in-depth chats a fair bit. So I am happy to let people into my life and will always be kind unless you give me a reason not to, but I have been walked over so much that it is going to take a hell of a lot for me to trust another person properly.

As for me, I would say that I am a trustworthy person! I am good at keeping secrets and would never want to put people in a situation where they feel uncomfortable with me.
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awardinary
post Feb 14 2018, 12:01 AM
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For me trust is something that needs to be earned, it shouldnít be expected of others automatically.

Iíve comr to trust a handful of people on Buzzjack with personal matters, and I feel loved and cared for when they listen to me and respond. It helps me to trust them more knowing they really do care about me as an individual and not out of some sense of duty.

It goes without saying that I would trust my parents, my brother and any relatives I still have. I guess thatís the whole ďblood is thicker than waterĒ principle.

Due to my work, I started a business a year ago and itís grown quite fast since. Ironically for this thread the name I chose for my company was Trustway (and you can follow it on twitter and instagram if you search ďtrustwayukĒ if you wish). Iíve acquired many customers and despite servicing their properties several times now, I still would trust them, and I would expect them to trust me until trying out my services and getting to know me a few times. I hope to build trust with everyone eventually.

Iím terms of trusting someone to tell the truth, I can personally attest to a time last year on Buzzjack when I was not trusted, and accused of manipulating the BJSC rules, but I wasnít believed and suddenly in the blink of an eye any trust ones had for me quickly diminished. I may never get to put that right again. If on the other hand I was questioning someone of the truth, I would try to give them the benefit of the doubt, and if they did actually misplace my trust by acting against my wishes for example then I would naturally be inclined to distance myself from them for a while. But I would always aim to make peace eventually.

I guess Iím saying that trust is a two way street, and for me to trust someone they must also trust me.

But the truth is trust can easily be lost if either party lies or deceives the other person(s).
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awardinary
post Feb 14 2018, 12:03 AM
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QUOTE(Jade @ Feb 13 2018, 11:54 PM) *
As for me, I would say that I am a trustworthy person! I am good at keeping secrets and would never want to put people in a situation where they feel uncomfortable with me.

I trust you Jade, you would be someone I would feel safe lending my keys to for example. laugh.gif

I guess that trust is based on how I perceive you with others and that youíve always been kind and courteous toward me. happy.gif
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Jade
post Feb 14 2018, 12:10 AM
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QUOTE(awardinary @ Feb 14 2018, 12:03 AM) *
I trust you Jade, you would be someone I would feel safe lending my keys to for example. laugh.gif

I guess that trust is based on how I perceive you with others and that youíve always been kind and courteous toward me. happy.gif

laugh.gif! I am definitely the kind of goody two shoes that you could trust with this kind of thing, so a wise choice Wardy x kink.gif

I totally get your point about having to earn trust. I guess I went pretty deep with that paragraph, t'was moreso about people I could trust with like my entire life haha. If you have had my back for a while then you will slowly build my trust. But I find it hard to recover that trust if it is broken. I feel like my current situation with IRL friends is due to me having a really hard time opening up in real life these days, maybe I would feel differently if I was more of an open book with verbal communication.
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Dexton
post Feb 14 2018, 01:37 AM
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I like to think that I can trust the friends and family and coworkers that I spend the majority of my life with, but the reality is trusting people has always been an issue for me and more times than not friends have broken my trust anyway which makes it harder in the future. Iíve always been a mostly independent guy, which is fine, but having other people to rely on sometimes and just have around to back you up is essential - and I donít really have that anymore.

In the last two years of high school I had a fairly small but tight friendship group. We basically did everything together and rarely went off in 2ís or 3ís to do our own thing, meaning we were always a big group. That was great to begin with but after school finished we never got chance to hang out anymore (partly due to just general drifting and moving on with life as you do, partly because two of us in the group dated and then broke up with caused a bit of a divide oops). The idea of having friends you trust by your side when you need them is comforting, but when you donít have that backup support it makes it all the more harder to learn to trust other people again.

Iím not the sort of person who would betray someones trust in any way, shape, or form but I have trouble finding others who will do the same for me.
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