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Were You Popular At School? Did You Enjoy School?
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Ronald McJackson
post May 7 2018, 09:12 AM
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How was your experience of school? Some claim it is meant to be the best years of your life but for me it really wasn't. It was a hellish experience and I'm still dealing with scars that were left on me from the experience. I never was in any of the popular friendship circles and struggled to find people to hang out with as most of the people I wanted to hang out just made fun of me or were rude, I did sometimes have other people to hang out with but I don't have any lasting friendships from school and I didn't enjoy the experience.

It was the same throughout primary and secondary school, I enjoyed college as I got a fresh start and could begin again and made friends and I had a better social life, same with uni although I was still treated like a second class citizen at uni.

I enjoyed going to summer camps as I could meet people and at the Scout Jamboree I made some new friends although I was still quite shy but I made some friends from lots of places.

Also when I went to a St Johns Ambulance summer camp the second time round I got to experience being popular and it was nice to have friends and be liked and have people wanting to hang out with me.

Recently I've moved back to my parents house so I am stuck in a small rural town without many friends. I have a friend in a nearby town but we don't see each other much, only if I make the effort but she never comes to see me. I go to some exercise and dance classes but it is mostly elderly people that go to them (I am just 25)
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lotita.
post May 7 2018, 09:34 AM
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I was in the “popular” group for most of lower school then just kinda drifted and made some other friends, I never had any fallings out with any of them and stayed on good terms really.

I really didn’t enjoy school from GCSE onwards because my mental and physical health was at its absolute worse and my anxiety was so bad. Uni is a lot better just because I have such a solid friendship group
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T Boy
post May 7 2018, 09:53 AM
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I wasn’t popular at school for the majority of the time but didn’t care either. I enjoyed my lessons and the friends that I had. When I got to sixth form, all the ‘popular crowd’ nonsense faded away and so I was in the popular crowd because that’s all there was, a group of people who were all different but all got along. I loved sixth form.
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gavindeejay
post May 7 2018, 10:00 AM
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No wasn’t popular at school was consistently bullied throughout
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Q.
post May 7 2018, 10:03 AM
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oh my gawd I relate so much to the OP! No I was never popular at school, Buzzjack is the closest I have come to being "popular", which is kinda funny as I don't even consider myself much of a "true Buzzjacker", if that makes sense. It sounds so backwards lmao

I moved country when I was 11 and had been bullied and teased in my original school (no, that's not why I left xox) cos I was kinda quirky and oversensitive and it has left me with scars that I'm still dealing with. Then when I had moved country and started a new school, the isolating myself began. Everybody in my Irish primary school played soccer / footie / whatever at break times but I just wasn't sporty in the slightest at the time (apart from running and swimming heart.gif) so I just refused to go play lmao and as a result, I became really quite isolated, although I did mostly get along with people alright during class and stuff. I wasn't particularly bullied here, but still a bit.

Then in secondary school the isolation got worse as it started to affect my confidence and other areas of my life. I have so many stories about this. Eventually I did make one good friend who I'm still friends with, but like with you Tombo, he doesn't live in this town and he's super busy lately so we don't see each other that much anymore (and when we do it's not what it used to be).

As a result of all this, I still struggle with feelings of having 'missed out' or whatever on many things, such as road trips with mates or having ridiculously messy experiences with them.
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danG
post May 7 2018, 10:04 AM
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on the whole secondary school was not an enjoyable experience, though I did enjoy maths and science class to an extent and also music (except for when we had to do singing practise, which was either church hymns or songs for the upcoming school production, but that was only in KS3 before most people dropped it for GCSE). GCSEs/A Level was more enjoyable than KS3 because of the smaller class sizes and more focused lessons anyhow (though not the accompanying stress that came with it).

and of course I was very unpopular too, didn't fit into any of the cliques not even the 'unpopular people' clique, which took me a short while to accept but when I did I was happy to go through school having zero friends there. once I stopped trying to fit in the bullying stopped. having a social life just isn't for me anyway.

I was also indirectly responsible for my school's ban on phone use during break times which I'll never forgive myself for because it made my break times boring as f***, until sixth form when we were allowed to use them again.

as for primary school, well that was a long time ago but I remember not enjoying that either (even if the work was easier and I made more friends there (ie 2 or 3 instead of 0)).
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Cqmerqn
post May 7 2018, 10:32 AM
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I absolutely loved both primary and secondary school.

Sure, I was bullied a little towards the end of primary school as a result of moving to a new school 6 months before starting secondary.

I did prefer secondary school and I would definitely go back if I could wub.gif it did help that I had a lot of good friends though. It would’ve been a totally different experience without them all.
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Liаm
post May 7 2018, 11:12 AM
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Primary school was fine ish, I can't remember any particular issues. I only had a few friends but I didn't really care, I was just kinda there floating along enjoying myself and not really aware of "everyone else is more popular" etc.

Secondary school was a bit of a rollercoaster laugh.gif Made a solid group of friends in year 7, including one proper best friend I had through all of secondary. But he fell out with the others so we split apart, and I ended up the side of basically just him and me (not realising he was pretty toxic until sixth form but that's another story), from like year 8 to 10 I had like 3 or 4 friends at best.

Year 10 was much better as I made friends in my IT class as we had tutor groups based on them, so we ha like half hour a day with them and all day Friday was IT. I was much happier with a wider friendship group, actually socialised outside of school etc., although my best friend from the start of school wasn't the biggest fan of some of them and got a bit bratty about me "ditching him" despite always trying to include him laugh.gif We kind of superficially lasted through the last couple of years of school, fell out with him in sixth form properly though because I realised I could really do without him. I'd rather have one good friend than loads of fake ones but I think it's important and healthy to have a solid group of friends you can rely on, looking back I wasn't really happy just having one person I had to rely on everything for and I had a much better time when I had a solid group and felt good that I belonged there.

That was a bit longer than I meant it to be laugh.gif To answer the second Q, even when I found my group finally, I wasn't really popular, we were kinda in that middle section where we weren't any of the stereotypes like the popular crew, the "nerds" who kept to themselves, just our own group there in the middle laugh.gif
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ta-ra*el~la
post May 7 2018, 11:14 AM
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I was unpopular in the middle of primary and it was like hell. Luckily I became popular by year 6 and it was fun.
I only did four years of secondary but I was popular enough to have enjoyed it.
As for university, after doing it for 14 years I sort of still don't want to leave yet.
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Jüpiter
post May 7 2018, 11:16 AM
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I hated nearly everything about school, except actually the learning aspect - although a lot of classes were still mind-numbingly boring. It took me until my 20s to have any interest in history or politics, for example - but nowadays, those are things I see more like common sense to have an awareness of.

My life since school has also been notably better in many, many ways. I feel like the worst thing about school is that you can't escape it even if it IS terrible - you're just stuck in that situation and have to make the best. Kids can be very cruel, some teachers are disturbingly into having a power trip over powerless people, and it's always assumed in general that you'll have a stable home life with nothing else going on in your background, so 'it doesnt matter what happens at school, that's only 7 hours out of your day' or some similar platitude.

Of course, having had a difficult time at school has also taught me many life lessons. Not that I wouldn't wish it had been easier looking back or that I wouldn't change it. I'm fortunate to be very mentally strong and able to get through difficult times, other people aren't so lucky and can be really messed up by unexpected difficulties, or can have disatrous mental health consequences.

Probably the most difficult things about school for me were my beliefs; I wasn't the same religion as the majority of people at my school including most teachers, which my parents quite naively thought wouldn't be an issue (it was a MASSIVE issue).


This post has been edited by Jüpiter: May 7 2018, 11:23 AM
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Chez Wombat
post May 7 2018, 12:20 PM
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I enjoyed Primary School, I was too young to have any proper concerns there. Those were the days ay?

Secondary School was very much a mixed bag - the first half, 7-9, was pretty horrible, I was bullied and exploited and still acted like everything's fine, it was one of the worst experiences of my life and while it was sorted eventually, it stays with me today. I also found myself not managing to fit in and find new friends as much like my old friends were and I felt like I was falling behind and even being rejected as well as being an easy target for teasing due to my quiet nature so..yeah bad times, THANKFULLY things got better and with a little help, I did manage to find my own core group of friends who were very welcoming and my main friends today and I still stayed on good terms with my old friends though most of us moved on so that was great and made the last year a good one that I look back fondly on (though I am somewhat glad I left, you really don't feel like an adult at all until you leave)

Academically, I was always just about average intelligence and my grades never suffered and I left with better than expected results, but there was a point that I became distracted them because of what was happening around me. Looking back, I didn't make the best subject choices - I was convinced I never wanted to do English again and did subjects like Art and Graphics, how things change! I always felt a link to education though and helping those achieve their potential, so it was an apt job choice in the end.

(Re: Popular, no not really and I was just fine with that as most of the popular kids were stuck-up arseholes lmao)

QUOTE(ta-ra*el~la @ May 7 2018, 12:14 PM) *
As for university, after doing it for 14 years I sort of still don't want to leave yet.


I didn't know that there was any University courses that long! mellow.gif ohmy.gif
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Iz
post May 7 2018, 12:45 PM
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Secondary school was weird. I was at a small school so everyone knew everyone and was part of the same sort of extended social group, so while I wasn't all that popular, I certainly got invited places and never felt really left out. I had some issues with being bullied at times and had days where I didn't want to come into school but those same people were also good friends (particularly later on) who knew I was one of the cleverer ones so came to me for help and were really cool at other times. As I'm writing that out it sounds really bad but it was this dynamic of 'no one could really avoid each other' so we learned to live with each other and they weren't bad people, just going through the 'kids are arseholes' stage.

I wasn't all that social, I spent far too much time using the school computers rather than getting to know the others, I do wish I'd done that a bit more, I'm in occasional contact with one or two of them but I wouldn't mind being more so now. I also wish I'd not hated sports as much as I did back then. The rest of it, the academic stuff, was lovely, I got a great experience with the teaching standard and the extracurricular activities I did do and I'm definitely happy I took those opportunities then.
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Jade
post May 7 2018, 12:55 PM
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My school 'popularity' definitely fluctuated over the years! Cliques were already a thing in primary school and I'd say I was pretty popular at that stage of my life. I was a far more confident version of myself and wanted to be friends with everyone laugh.gif I started having anxiety issues from about Year 7 though and this really affected things. I became so reserved and had barely any friends from about Year 7 to Year 9. So that made me feel pretty down when I was previously used to being a social butterfly. I also started to feel under the weather about the way I looked, to the point where I would refuse to wear my glasses half the time. That was pretty messed up, I felt so pressurised at like 13 that I'd rather look 'better' than be able to see. But I stopped being silly after a while and became more studious again. Well, until I was put in a seating plan with a great bunch of people who would distract me in class a lot kink.gif but they became my group of friends, so things definitely improved socially. I had a solid group of friends from Year 10 to 11 but wasn't particularly 'popular' as I was still quite shy.

In sixth form no-one cared about popularity and I think this was a great time for me socially. My friendship group expanded and most people were happy to talk to me. I got invited to a lot of house parties during sixth form through my friendship group and made more friends that way. The bitchiness of secondary school was mostly a thing of the past thank god, that was so toxic. I also started to care more about the academic side of things again rather than allow myself to be distracted in class. So I'd say I started off popular, then became pretty much the opposite, then started making more friends again and left in a position where my time at sixth form had been full of great social memories. I will always regret how much I let the academic pressure of A Levels get to me, but it's been a good lesson for University.
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BridgeCow
post May 7 2018, 01:07 PM
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Feels weird to answer considering I'm still in school but I'd say I'm pretty average, I'm not in the 'popular group' per say but my schools pretty small so I still socialise with them pretty often, especially in the mornings when there's literally no one else around to talk to. I have a really really solid group of friends that I'm gonna miss soooo crazy much when I leave this year, praying that I can keep in contact, but I can see me losing touch with most sad.gif My old school was very different tho, I went there from like reception til year 8 and it was a proper tiny school, so everyone knew eachother pretty well, even in different years, but that also meant there wasn't as many weird people (a la me) so I did get picked on pretty often, but it was nothing really terrible that's scarred me for life or anything, I only really had a few friends there, and rarely keep in contact with them, outside of having like snapchat streaks with a few lol, We've tried to make plans to meet up but it just never happens lol. Feel like I've gone a bit off topic but overall I wouldn't say I'm popular at all, but I'm not really unpopular, just kind of average. I am really enjoying school rn too, spending these last few weeks with my friends (although GCSE stress is no fun), I'm definitely gonna miss it.
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JosephAvery
post May 7 2018, 01:11 PM
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Primary school felt very carefree and I don't remember caring much about popularity or anything like that. I was friends with everyone and that went for pretty much everybody else in the year group too! In secondary school, I was never part of the popular crowd, I always used to hang around with my two best friends from primary (and they're still my best friends to date). I never really had any issues with anybody and I got on well with everyone but I was never actually part of the popular crowd. Beyond a little incident in year 7 which was stamped out instantly, I wasn't bullied thankfully (and tbh it feels like quite a miracle considering I was basically a walking target). I guess the fact I got on with most people helped that! This pretty much continued through sixth form too!

As to whether I enjoyed school, I guess I can't have hated it considering I work at a secondary school! laugh.gif It was never something I particularly loved or looked forward to though, I just kinda got on with it cause I had no other choice, so I guess I didn't enjoy it when I was actually attending. I enjoy it more now because I don't have the stress of homework or exams, so the lessons instantly become much more enjoyable lol. Primary school was the same really although I felt I was very much outgrowing it by the end of year 6 so was pretty happy to move on (and I still stand by the fact that secondary > primary now). As for sixth form, I grew to hate all of the lessons in one way or another really lmao, I don't really miss that at all.
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Dobbo
post May 7 2018, 01:22 PM
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Primary school yes. Secondary school no [but I had a close knit group].
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Q.
post May 7 2018, 03:21 PM
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QUOTE(Chez Wombat @ May 7 2018, 01:20 PM) *
I didn't know that there was any University courses that long! mellow.gif ohmy.gif

probably a few different courses in a row haha!
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Bré
post May 7 2018, 09:26 PM
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I've never been anything close to 'popular' but I did have a small and stable circle of friends throughout primary school. Years 7 and 8 were a little tough as I drifted from all of my friends from primary school, Year 8 was particularly horrible until I changed form groups to be with some more people I knew and reconnected with a couple of my old primary school friends and made a couple new ones. Then Years 9 to 11 was pretty much a continuation of that, I only had 3 or 4 close friends and rarely even spoke to anyone else but that was fine by me as I am an extremely introverted / asocial person. Year 12 was in some ways a repeat of Year 8 as I fell out of contact with all but one of the people in that circle of friends, I spent a lot of my A Levels basically keeping entirely to myself but I was more mentally equipped to deal with it that time. And since I went to uni I have had literally zero friends in real life (I hid in my room for all of freshers week and never got to know anyone on my course), making friends is a skill that I've long forgotten and to be honest I don't know how I ever managed it the first time around ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ like I say though, I don't really care too much, I guess I'm like Dan in that regard. Online friends have filled the social gap for me well enough. I am just dreading post-uni life since basically any social skills I ever had are probably gone by now after basically 5 years of isolation from my peers oops

(I voted yes to the second question as I did enjoy learning during school for the most part, I managed to coast through GCSEs without stressing about them much. I really miss the simplicity of being in primary school and that period from Years 9 to 11).
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Riser
post May 8 2018, 03:22 AM
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I was popular for a whole one year out of 13 magic.gif I always had some friends but was also an easy target to be picked on in the early years. 8th grade was when I randomly ended up in classes with mostly popular kids and for whatever reason they all liked me that one year, then as soon as high school started I was back to being unpopular. laugh.gif By that point it really didn't matter though, people were generally respectful of each other no matter what their 'status' was and I was especially proud of my year for being that way. I was also proud to be one of the band geeks and tbf I was very popular among the band kids, and the actual popular kids would at least talk to me even though I wasn't one of them. Actually I was voted the quietest person in my year when we did senior superlatives, and I really did keep to myself so who knows how I managed to be well liked. laugh.gif I guess I was comfortable enough to come out of my shell every so often.

Yes to the other question, I did enjoy school for the majority of my time there. I loved learning and always had a couple good friends around, and despite how stressful it all ways I look back on it fondly. Especially now when all of my friends are distant and I don't have any close ones!
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Popchartfreak
post May 8 2018, 11:38 AM
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I can't vote cos it depended on the school (I went to 6 Primary Schools and 4 Secondary Schools - though one of them twice a few years apart).

Never a popular one, sometimes bullied and sometimes one of the gang, sometimes hanging with the cooler kids, sometimes a nerd. Mostly a nerd though.

Couldnt say I LIKED Primary Schools as such, but I didn't hate them either.

Loved my first year at RAF Secondary Modern (Singapore), mostly enjoyed the second year (RAF Grammar in Singapore), loathed and detested Comprehensive school in North Hykeham for 2 years, a nightmare, ambivalent on my 5th year in Churchdown, but enjoyed the 6th year. back to North Hykeham for 2 years and all the twats had left and I had dropped a year and nobody had preconceptions about me, and totally enjoyed it.

Adored College/Uni.
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