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Tombo
post Jun 29 2018, 09:50 PM
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I went to see a friend and all she did for an hour and a half was talk about her issues and I could only make an occasional comment in response to her

By that point my energy was zapped and I had no conversational ideas. Rather than just hanging out and having fun, she was just moaning about her issues

I then spoke about a recent situation in my life, literally just two sentences about it and then it was back to her problems again

My social life is dead at the moment and this is the first time Iíve hung out with some one in a while

Also when we meet up I usually have to go out of my way to see her and go to where she is, rather than the other way round

Iím done with all this...

Itís tough cos I donít really have enough of a social circle to just drop her completely but it is tempting as
I am feeling so zapped. I have been feeling lonely so I was looking forward to hanging out with some one but I didnít enjoy the experience all that much

I feel like my online friends are better than my irl friends (thereís not many of them) at the moment as they actually listen to me and help me with things and we have fun lol

Have any of you ever had a friend like this? How did you deal with it?

Maybe you have another issue with one of your relationships that you would like to share


This post has been edited by Tombo: Jun 29 2018, 09:51 PM
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Mack.
post Jun 29 2018, 09:52 PM
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Maybe she finds that you're the only person she can talk to about her issues. Have you suggested to get counselling?
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Tombo
post Jun 29 2018, 10:02 PM
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QUOTE(Mack. @ Jun 29 2018, 10:52 PM) *
Maybe she finds that you're the only person she can talk to about her issues. Have you suggested to get counselling?


Possibly, that could be the case. She has been seeing a therapist on the NHS but funding is quite limited so I donít know how much it is helping her.

I think she is quite socially dominant whereas I donít have good social skills and donít always know what to say whereas she just kinda goes on and on and on. I just need to learn to talk better really 😂

I have had this with friends in the past, one of them it got really bad so I just cut off so communication with him
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Liаm
post Jun 29 2018, 10:05 PM
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If she has issues herself she probably isn't even aware she is doing it, and besides if you aren't talking much then she is probably gonna just fill the time instead of sitting in silence tongue.gif Just say to her that maybe she needs to give a bit more than she takes and she might realise, plus be a bit more assertive in conversations and initiate things, perhaps away from her issues so she can talk about something else.
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Mattias
post Jun 29 2018, 10:06 PM
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I'm sorry that this has happened to you!

tbh as much as I enjoy people (in varying degrees), social life is weird in general. As soon as people (especially of different personalities) come together, it just makes some things questionable since people see things through a different lens. I'm past having much of a problem with it tho or expressing frustrations about it (I do get frustrated the odd time about these things tho, ofc), I've accepted that people are how they are and everything's a mess, basically. lmao. These conflicts can't really be solved as long are there are people on the planet. It's probably one of the reasons why I don't tend to 'call people out' a lot, because I just accept that you're doing you as well as you can do you in that moment. And I'm doing me as well as I can do me at this moment so whatever tbh. tongue.gif

#rant
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