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> Shattered Dreams, A relatable thread
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awardinary
post Jul 12 2018, 12:04 AM
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Cue a forgotten 80ís classic;



Following Englandís exit from the World Cup, this thread is a place to discus any moments in life where youíve got your hopes up about something only to have your dreams dashed to pieces and left feeling a sense of loss.

If this is something you can relate to in the past please share, and what helped you cope/adjust to the reality of it?
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Jade
post Jul 12 2018, 12:15 AM
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I worked so hard to achieve my goal of graduating University with a first class degree and it looked like I was heading there, after getting so many firsts throughout the year. Including for my dissertation which I never expected in a million years. But then that goal was dashed at the very last minute, when a double-weighted module (which was ran by a lecturer who gives the most ridiculous feedback, may I add) dragged down my overall score. I never expected a first as that would be silly, it was just a goal as I put so much into my studies during third year, but it's just SO annoying to come so close to something that you wanted but falling at the final hurdle due to one pesky module. I was really gutted about it at first because it made me spiral into a self-deprecating headspace where I felt like I would never be able to achieve any goals. Then I felt angry that something like my dissertation or law module wasn't the double-weighted one. Success is relative and I just wanted to outperform my expectations so badly. But then I calmed down after a little while after it sank in and I'm now very grateful to be graduating with a 2:1. It's definitely something to be proud of and it's okay that I didn't achieve a first overall, it wasn't meant to be. I'll treasure every time that I was happy with individual results that I worked really hard for, those times can never be taken away from me.

Basically, I had an initial reaction of "Why does the world hate me?? Why do I always fall at the final hurdle??" but I'm too much of a positive soul to be angry at something for too long, I just found the best in the situation after getting over the initial disappointment. Sometimes things just aren't meant to be. A great example of this for me was applying for a job at Argos, getting rejected, then going away and volunteering for a bit to boost my experience (which was what I was lacking in apparently) and coming back strong for my HMV interview - which I nailed! This was a retail job perfectly suited for me and I got this job, one I would've enjoyed way more than the one I initially applied for, after some failure. So despite this experience feeling like the end of the world for a couple of days, I'm positive that I'll come out of it with a future I can still very much enjoy.

I'm glad that this is the worst thing I can think of. My dad had a couple of dream-crushing events in his life. He was excellent at the triple-jump but was never able to progress that further due to an injury. Also, he should've aced his IT coursework but whoever marked it LOST it and marked it as a fail as a result, which also ruined his career prospects. It's so bad that it was allowed to happen mellow.gif but I guess he could've gone down a different path and never met my mum if he had worked elsewhere, so silver linings again!
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Lindsey 🙃
post Jul 12 2018, 01:15 AM
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low-key, no pressure, just hang with me and my weather
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HahahahahHa where do I begin?? ��������

Lets go with the more recent ones shall we? Uni is a big one, I mean I've got my degree, a 2:2 which is FINE but I worked so f***ing hard and really feel like I should have got a 2:1 which is all I wanted but I think I was only like 3% off of scraping it which hurt, so I'm left just feeling numb about the whole thing, not to mention I'm struggling to find a job so my long term dreams of having my own design studio one day and working within the music industry etc is looking very bleak when I can't even get my foot in the door with any creative employer. I don't think I can even follow my backup plan of doing a masters in 2019 when I missed out on getting a 2:1 sad.gif I know I need to just keep trying and hope something comes along because it has only been a month but it just feels like I'm pushing at something I'd be better off giving up on. At the end of the day I just want to be in a job that's worthwhile and makes me happy and pays enough that I can stop living week to week and do the things I wanna do.

Then my love life seems to be nothing but feeling as though its going right only for it to just disintegrate into nothing basically or majorly backfire somehow.

I'm not that much of an ambitious person so my hopes and dreams really don't stretch beyond wanting to have a good job and find my person, as cringey as that is I've always been a bit of a romantic that way sick2.gif

I'm just at an extremely low point in my life right now when I should feel like the world is my oyster or whatever, I'm literally nowhere I wanted to be at this point. Tbh I should just keep my dreams to the completely unobtainable so that I'm not left feeling shit when they don't work out laugh.gif
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Mattias
post Jul 12 2018, 09:00 AM
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QUOTE(Jade @ Jul 12 2018, 01:15 AM) *
he should've aced his IT coursework but whoever marked it LOST it and marked it as a fail as a result, which also ruined his career prospects. It's so bad that it was allowed to happen mellow.gif

what the actual
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awardinary
post Jul 12 2018, 09:10 AM
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Jade & Lindsey (think Iíll call you Jadsey heart.gif),

I may have never met you both but I feel like I know you reasonably well on this forum, and I can tell youíre both very hard-working and you put 100% into all that you do... I canít personally relate to your experiences as I never went to university but itís clear to me you each put your heart and soul into your assignments and you gave everything to achieve a good result. You each should be very proud of yourselves and recognise what you each accomplished. All that time and effort you put into your modules and dissertation was not for nothing and you now have a platform on which to base your future.

YOU DID NOT FAIL. All you did was your best and thereís nothing anyone else could ask of you both.

In terms of your future career prospects, you now have the experience and the skills to put what youíve learnt into practice. You can both do whatever you want to if you believe in yourself. I know the saying ďthe worlds your oysterĒ never made much sense to me (I mean what does that even mean laugh.gif) but what you can both be sure of is that you have endless possibilities before you and you are the director of your own life story and it begins with you recognising where youíve come from and then deciding where you are going next.

Itís good to dream and set goals. I remember a quote I read once that ďthe purpose of a goal is not simply to achieve something but it is what it will make of you as a person to pursue it.Ē In fact, even if you donít reach all your goals, youíll be better off because youíve learnt something about yourself and what works for you and what doesnít. It will shape your decisions in life afterward.

I believe in you both, and I know many others on this forum do too. You have overwhelming support from us all and one day when your confidence has grown maybe you can help someone else to set goals and help them to reach them. happy.gif
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Cqmerqn
post Jul 12 2018, 09:35 AM
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Kebab man once forgot to put chilli sauce on my kebab, that was pretty tragic.
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Liаm
post Jul 12 2018, 10:39 AM
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I can relate on the degree front, I shouldn't be unhappy with a 2:1, as Jade said graduating with that is still fab and I don't want to be that person complaining about their grades because there are people with lower who'd kill for a 2:1 but it's relative and as Jade and Lindsey touched upon you do get your hopes up for certain things when you get individual results back and it sucks when a couple of things bring it down and you think "if I didn't have that module/assignment I could have got it". For me for example psychology in my final year let me down (which is 80% of my degree lmao) as it was all exams apart from my dissertation (which also went wrong rolleyes.gif), but I got really good sociology grades so I just kept thinking that if I'd done a sociology degree by itself I'd have a first laugh.gif With my mental health being awful that year I am still proud I managed to get out with anything tbh but yeah.

I don't think it's necessarily closed doors for me or "shattered" my dreams but there are a couple of masters I looked at at home that needed a first ideally or as a requirement, and as I haven't got a lot of experience I think the first would have helped. It did also dent my confidence a bit I think, as I said I feel a bit stupid for being disappointed in a great grade, I'm not disappointed in a way but I also am just because I know and always feel like I can do more. It's just when you are on track for 2 years and then a couple of things bring down your entire grade because they're worth more, my 3rd year was worth 70% and I'd have got a 2:2 without sociology because the psych side was kinda awful :/

I was also gutted not to get the placement I wanted last year as that would have helped so much more than a first when it comes to jobs I'm applying for now, it might even have set me on a different path, it was such an interesting challenge that I really wanted and set myself up for but I didn't get that and I think that might have affected my confidence, motivation etc. for final year alongside worse mental health than any of the 3 years drama.gif

Earlier in life I was gutted that I didn't get the grades to get into Cardiff Uni either, I had my sights set on it since the start of A Levels when I started applying but I just didn't try hard enough at A Levels (due to various reasons such as mental health) to get the A*AB I needed to get in, and then when it happened I felt really guilty and shit that I didn't put more effort in, but I wouldn't change where I am now tbh as I wouldn't have met certain people if I didn't come to Plym!
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Chez Wombat
post Jul 12 2018, 02:26 PM
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I was definitely in you guys' shoes a few years ago and scared about the future, especially in this economic climate when it wasn't quite the grade you wanted, I did a Masters primarily through not knowing what to do next and I did enjoy it but ultimately I didn't know what I wanted to do and spent a year unemployed. It can really hurt with degrees that don't have a clear career path, the most important thing is to never lose hope and keep an open mind as to which path you can take, it sounds completely cliched and unhelpful but something WILL come up if you keep trying and it's happened to a lot of people I know as well - I know the path I'm on with my current job isn't what I thought I'd do when I graduated. It may seem like a few dreams may disappear but new ones will always form, and I echo Wardy that really, you still passed and you should never be ashamed of that because a degree is one of the toughest things you can undertake.

(Also Lindsey, I'm pretty sure some Masters degrees would accept a 2:2 if that's really what you want to do! It may mean working harder in the application but it's certainly possible)
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