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Clean Bandit Are Christmas #1
Clean Bandit hold off Rag N Bone Man, campaigns and Mariah Carey to become 2016's Christmas #1

Itís John Ďere, standing in for Suedey, still resting up in hospital, and sadly over the Christmas period too, so lotís of Jingle Bells and Santa Claus wishes Suedey and fingers-crossed for a New Year homecoming.

Itís 7 weeks on top for Clean Bandit, thanks to streaming. This will change in 2017 thanks to the decision to change the ďsalesĒ ratio from 100 to 150 as the increase in streaming swamps-out sales-based hits in the official charts. This will reduce long chart runs on top like those of Drake and Clean Bandit who have not had the same prolonged success on the download/physical sales charts. It wonít reduce it for long, mind you, if streaming continues to take hold with new young music fans - all it will do is delay it again for a bit, as the ratio was too low to start with, and the ďsalesĒ still includes free-streams, not just paid-for streams. Clean Bandit has sold over half a million. I say ďsoldĒ, but actually thatís probably about right for a great chart-topping pop record after 8 or 9 weeks. Itís the next 10-years repeat plays which will register it selling about 134 million ďsalesĒ eventually, I expect. (NB I am prone to exaggeration, so donít quote me!)

Leading most of the week on itunes was the most-famous RagíníBone Man since Steptoe (ask your grandparents), and current top radio hit in Europe, the fab Human - having already topped most charts in Europe before the home country woke up to itís fabness. Sadly, he has to make do with 2 here, but even Radio 2 is pushing it now so January isnít out of the question yet, and he is top on sales-only already.

Zara Larsson is up to 6, still hasnít grown on me yet - though I havenít actually HEARD it at all this week, so judgement reserved, like A Brexit Judge mílud, will it be IN or OUT of my charts in 2017? It is, however, her 4th top 10 hit, though I could only hum Lush Life and Never Forget You. Iím sure sheís disappointed in me!

A late surge on itunes for The Dave Clark 5ís 1964 Number One had it topping the charts, following a campaign by Rangers fans adoration of star-footballer Joe Garner to get Glad All Over the Christmas top spot. Your stand-in chart commenter loved the track as a 6-year-old, Doctor Who-loving, Pop Chart Freak. Still quite liked it when it last charted at 37 in 1993, and now even higher at 31. Dave is quite pleased about it, too, now aged seventy-summat, having hung up his thumping drum kit some decades ago. Still, 53 years on, is pretty impressive for a chart feat for the track that ended the Chart-topping Beatles lock-out domination of months with 2 singles. On Sales-only it is this weekís number 4, which is the bandís highest chart position since 1967ís lovely ballad Everybody Knows.

As most X-Factor acts take a tumble, Little Mix defy the trend just a tad, (Oops! they did it again) as Touch climbs to 4 as the one I prefer flops after a brief Charlie Puth co-appearance last week in the actual sales chart. Doh!

Christmas songs? Slade enter at the last moment for the first time in 4 years, and the 19th time in all making the top 75 (including the 1980 Live version). My brother bought Merry Christmas Everybody just before Christmas 1973. I bought Wizzardís I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday. Slade outsold Wizzard, topping the chart for 5 weeks and selling a million. I get the last laugh as Wizzard charts higher every year now, this week up to 27, and is closing on a million by now I would imagine. That same christmas I also bought Roy Woodís multi-layered harmony-pop top 10 hit Forever (he played every instrument and was every voice on the track). Sadly no-one remembers that one anymore, boo hiss!

Also back in, a week after exiting, Michael Buble at 38 and it is indeed beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Which is why Band Aid pop back at 35, Do You Know Itís Christmas, the multi-million seller which kept Wham! off the top of the Christmas 1984 chart. Like Wizzard, Wham!ís Last Christmas is the more popular and gets the last laugh up to 16, and a 9-year-peak. George generously told everyone to buy the charity Band Aid song at the time, and he also donated his own profits for his single to it.

Up to 26, Chris Reaís gorgeous Driving Home For Christmas, 28 years on from itís minor-hit status, reaches a new chart peak 35 weeks into itís Top 75 chart career. I stand to be corrected, but I would guess thatís the longest-ever run of weeks-on-chart for a record to reach a chart peak. Shakyís jingle-jangle Merry Christmas Everyone is up to 22, itís highest peak in 9 years. Iím feeling festive right now, and I donít even feel itís annoyingly overplayed and over-rated! I rather liked his less jingly new version of it last christmas, and charted that one instead in my own charts.

THAT christmas classic from the late much-missed Kirsty MacColl and The Pogues, Fairytale Of New York, which never sounds jaded, goes up to 15, and they have only once failed to go top 15 in the last 12 christmases - and that was a peak of a mere 17! Flop! Finally Mariah goes back up, and into the top 5 for the first time since 2007, All I Want For Christmas Is You. Just to add, all of the festive peakings are due to streaming pushing them up, downloads are on the decline.

7 on sales, the Inspiral Carpets 90ís goodie Saturn 5 is back thanks to a campaign to get on top over xmas in tribute to their late drummer, 12 on sales the London Hospice Choir enter, Robbie Williams goes back into the top 10, JP Cooperís good September Song is top 20, and Friends Of Jo Cox charity record is at 24, with the cover of a Rolling Stones classic. Chris Brown also enters the top 40 but you canít have everything. On the combined chart they, needless to say, are all nowhere much. Christmas songs doing better on sales include Leona Lewis, Kelly Clarkson, Coldplay - in other words newer tracks. The late Terry Wogan is also popping back into the lower end of the chart with The Floral Dance. Loved ol Tel, but this was a whimsical monstrosity back in 1977 when it first charted, and it still is.


Well, I neglected to mention (on the grounds I didnít know) that Alfie Boe and Michael Ball are now officially the oldest duo to top the chart, snatching the record from The Chemical Brothers, a mere 40-something compared to the joint 40-something/50-something pair. Once you hit 50, itís impolite to rub it in, so Iíll leave it vague as they grab a second week on top. Similarly the Rolling Stones chart-topper made them the oldest band to top the chart, at harrumphy-something collectively. Another cough-coughty-something new entry last week was Neil Young, over 50 albums in 50 years of recording, and no signs of letting up. I imagine he will have something to say about Donald Trump, and donít expect it to be complimentary.

That is all. Nothing else remotely interesting in terms of new music, except the soundtrack to Rogue One in at 70. Iíll wait for the 3D bluray....
Published on: 2016-12-24 by Weiss Schnee || 16398 Views
Comments (2)
24 Dec 2016 - 15:20
Oh I may not be the best, but I'm far from the worst
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Such a shame that Jo Cox didn't make Top 100 officially sad.gif
31 Jan 2017 - 5:39
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Jo Cox is an incredible, talented person. We could see how much he tried but still that's probably not enough.
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