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9th Week On Top For Clean Bandit
The Suedehead Stand-In Chart Commentary vol 4, a 9th week on top for Clean Bandit, and Little Mix hold on albums

6th January 2017

Suedey is yet again laid-up at the service of the NHS, which is doubly-sad as the last 2 weeks have actually had much to talk about, but the chart replacement service will continue till he feels up to it and Simon was looking a lot more bonny on Sunday, hooray!

9 weeks on top for Clean Bandit, which by any standards is a long-run, and only two or three more than they would now be on for sales-only, so I donít begrudge the long run at all, not least because the stand-by-me-baby song is just fab, leaving few contenders in the rest of chart to challenge it. One of the few that is just as good is RagíníBone Man and he gets pipped once again to the top spot, though he at least can take comfort that he edged Clean Bandit off the top in the middle of their sales run on top and also this week as he gets a third week at one on sales.

Following the end of christmas streaming the charts have become a barren wasteland for sleigh bells, and the heavily distorted Passive Listening Christmas Chart has allowed many tracks to climb back up the chart, not least those doing better on sales in the more-sales-friendly chart climate of early 2017. I wonít list those have already peaked higher, but thereís loads!

The new reduced streaming ratio has made the chart much less dull, and injected a bit of life in the form of new entries that should have charted weeks ago, but better late than never. Highest new entry at 16 one which sounded like an obvious 2016 hit track to me, SO laid-back-tropical-house-ish, but has needed the ratio-adjustment to finally sneak in - September Song, from JP Cooper, an English wannabe popstar. One I also downloaded weeks ago, so you can tell I approve of the new chart, hooray! It has already charted in Sweden. Yumpiní Yiminy itís Yay Pee Cooper at 16 there!

Highest climber inside the top 40 at 17 from 38 is John Legend, with a song I donít hate. Iíll take Love Me Now over his mega-monstrosity that refused to leave the charts any day. If I have to. A bit like Drakeís One Dance, inevitably back at 24 after dropping out last week. Still not selling though, so another one to blame on Spotify playlists. Starley is new in at 26 with Call On Me. Presumably, as Suedey would say, not the Eric Prydz song - or rather the Steve Winwood song (Valerie) that Eric Prydz converted into a dancing nursery rhyme. I just checked, thankfully itís nothing like that, itís a tropical-folk blender.

Meanwhile Robbie Williamís biggest single off his new album, Love My Life (in at 22), which is nicely anthemic, and also about ickle babies/kiddies/family, appealing as it does to an older downloading-broader-based audience who presumably arenít diehard Robbie fans as they would bought the album. Thatíll be me then. Having been top 10 on sales-alone for some weeks, 22 is still on the low side of justice-at-last-being-done (heís 5 on sales), but better than 55, which he was last week on the Spotify-made-up post-Christmas chart.

Also at long last in at 31 is Charlie XCXís After The Afterparty, which is proper singalong pop, and much too energetic for streaming charts. It fit very nicely in with Little Mix and Clean Bandit while I was avoiding being knocked over by kids ice skating on Monday, I was singing along happily as I slipped and slided, ďCos after the afterpaaartay hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm weíre gonna rip it up hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmmĒ. The memory isnít what it was for lyrics! One I have also downloaded. Lil Yachty lends a hand, or Miles McCollum as his mum calls him. Not quite up to Sean Paul in the rentarapper stakes, but a bit better than that one who sounds like a constipated barking sealion. You know who I mean...

In at 33, (gosh itís almost like the good old days, all these new entries!) the good news is Jax Jones finally gets a hit - the bad news itís not the fab-u-lous Yeah Yeah Yeah, but again, Iíll take You Donít Know Me as a Raye-featuring substitute, as justice is served. I wish heíd kept his real name though - Timucin Fabian Kwong Wah Aluo has a nice ring to it. Or Timmy Fab for short. The band Wah charted many years ago, so maybe he didnít want to risk confusion.

Finally, Adele makes the chart a year late with Water Under The Bridge, one of the best tracks on her album-of-the-year (again). It really deserves much-better than 40 as a chart peak, but then to many of us itís a 2015 oldie, so glass-half-full, eh?

Little Mix hold on top of the album charts, though Pete Tong puts in a good challenge following TV spots. The Mixies keep up the pressure at the top end of the singles chart with Touch and Shout Out To My Ex, while Oops, with Charlie Puth hovers (just outside) the 40 at 41 (25 on sales). Itís my fave track of the three, very retro-sounding and catchy. Pete Tong? Apart from being cockney rhyming slang, the DJ is touring with an orchestra, covering 90ís club anthems. The 90ís are now officially old! Personally Iíll stick with the originals, though Iím not averse to an original reinterpretation, right here right now.

Other album tid-bits? Trolls soundtrack at 16, up a few spots, though Justin Timberlake (making big moves back inside the the singles chart) is likely the main reason, apart from the film finally getting released over Christmas. The fab Christine & The Queens rocket up to 19 with Charleur Humaine, following her fab Top Of The Pops and Jools Holland performances, and indeed Tilted is back inside the top 40 singles sales chart too, just to rub it in. She is a great performer. Another xmas movie soundtrack is at 27, Moana, and Wham!ís The Final goes up to 31 some 31 years after first charting.

Numbers 47 to 54 are all former chart-toppers (in fact the chart is littered with Ďem!), 768 weeks for Abba Gold it says Ďere. Thatís almost as long as it seems Drake has been in the singles chart with One Dance. Sadly Brian Eno, one of Suedeyís Buzzjack Song Contest acts, just misses the top 75 at 78 with Reflections. He should reissue his 1974 electronic version of The Lion Sleeps Tonight, Iím still waiting for that one to chart.

So how has the new ratio affected the 41-75 region of the charts? Thought youíd never ask! Sean Paul and Dua Lipa in at 44, the good Guetta/Schulz/Cheat Codes track in at 48, Mr Brightside back yet again at 49 (and with so many better Killers tracks to pick from!), Sage The Gemini new at 51, Machine Gun Kelly new at 52, Migos at 67. In conclusion, mílud, case proven that streaming is tedious and the charts are more lively without it.
Published on: 2017-01-06 by Izetta || 21243 Views
Comments (1)
The Snake 🐍
7 Jan 2017 - 15:20
Don't mess it up, talking that hiss
Group: Members
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It fit very nicely in with Little Mix and Clean Bandit while I was avoiding being knocked over by kids ice skating on Monday, I was singing along happily as I slipped and slided, ďCos after the afterpaaartay hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm weíre gonna rip it up hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmmĒ.

Yes ice rinks are quite a place to hear music, I remember going in various times in 2002 and 2003 when I was ten or 11 and have memories of hearing Kelly Llorenna's Tell It To My Heart, Rachel Stevens' Sweet Dreams My LA Ex and Holly Valance's Kiss Kiss particularly when I was ice skating, as well as lots of vocal trance songs I don't remember. biggrin.gif
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1 Calvin Harris, Dua Lipa
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