065 / Chanee & N'evergreen – In A Moment Like This

 

 

BLOODY N'EVERGREEN. Here we have a suitably fabulous update to Simply the Best, which was born to bring Denmark back into the top 5. Not, of course, that they couldn't let that happen without trying to snatch defeat from the jaws of a respectable finish. Thankfully they were nowhere NEAR the disastrous finish some were predicting whereby they were forecast to crash out in the semis, and N'evergreen SLAUGHTERED the goat bitch with the PORK SWORD OF GOOD TASTE when Sweden and Denmark faced off against each other for the final slot in the final. And, when it came to the final itself, N'evergreen mustered up as little effort as required to get the nation the fourth place the track deserved. And dear lord, it showed. The stage presence and chemistry (or incredibly noticeable lack thereof) was DIABOLICAL, with the world-destroying second chorus being treated with a stage performance of the two walking idly hand-in-hand like a pair of OAPs across the stage, when really it should've been heralded by PYROTECHNICS AND WIND MACHINE. Although this would've, on the face of it, been a tough act to follow for the final chorus, I would've instead heralded that with MORE WIND MACHINE and RAINBOW COLOURED FIREWORKS of such a scale a backing singer or two were accidentally killed as a result. A tragedy, yes, but it would've been a LOUD AND CLEAR MESSAGE to the gays to VOTE VOTE VOTE, securing that all-important top three spot for the Danish http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/icons/disco.gif

 

(And words cannot describe the gay squeals I was emitting when this started off the voting with two 12s. The neighbour's dog was most displeased.)

 

 

It's a shame this didn't get a proper push over here as I think it could've been one of those great comebacks for an act now basically set up for endless 'I Heart 2000' or whatever revivals. Certainly in terms of reinventing their sound it pulled it off damned well, with a richly textured string backing instrumental that gave Kreesha full reign to work magic over. The whole thing defies genre pigeonholing, instead working purely on its own terms - an ornate and gorgeous track that simply has to be heard.

BEST BIT: Those glorious, warm backing harmonies in the chorus.

 

063 / Crystal Castles – Baptism

 

Crystal Castles are one of those acts that I liked the first time around but didn't particularly care a huge deal for. However, with their follow-up they created a piece of work which took everything they did the first time around and multiplied it by the power of two. The song were more frantic, more emotionally detached and haunting in their inhumanity. And Baptism stood out as the crown jewel representing that, a disconcerting but calm instrumental which every now and then surges into terror as Alice Glass goes into nervous breakdown, screaming over an updated 90s rave backing. A wrenching, but fantastic track.

 

 

Dear god that video is just TOO MUCH http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/smilies/grin.gif Even so, it pretty effectively sums up Diamond Rings as an artist - purposely lo-fi and filled with campy moments of gold and 90s references to create a whole that's simply hilarious. As for the track itself, it's a simple earnest love song that thrives off its simplicity, letting its message shine through. Another track where the backing harmonies make it a true pleasure to listen to.

 

061 / Fallulah – Bridges

 

 

Another ridiculous video concept http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/smilies/grin.gif Bridges is the sort of thing only Denmark could produce, under my sort of vaguely xenophobic pigeonholing logic at least. A bizarre, hypnotic track that's one part New Age, one part urban, and one part Scandipop, that makes immediate sense despite its thoroughly wide scope of influences. Infectious is a word which is all too easy to settle on in reviews, but my god this is truly difficult to ignore as a track. A lush landscape of an instrumental topped with Fallulah's almost tribal coos, this has to be heard.

Bridges is great, was my 12/18 (can't remember the scoring system in that one!) pointer in that BJSC contest, her album was excellent too :D

 

Shocked to see In A Moment Like This so low down :o How many more ESC entries are to come, I thought that was your favourite?

Another five Eurovision-related tracks yet to come! My favourite changed with the wind in Eurovision week...

'Eurovision related' meaning ESC and national finals or just the contest?

 

I'm guessing Hera Bjork will be the highest of the actual entries then...

You have something against Denmark, do you? They produce excellent music fyi.

Who said I had anything against Denmark? :o

I was referring to a comment for Bridges, it could be seen as v. negative if you don't like the song :lol:

 

Also LMAO at your comment for A Moment Like This :rofl: Dull song though.

Also LMAO at your comment for A Moment Like This :rofl: Dull song though.

 

If anything, Denmark proved that despite popular opinion (mainly from Keith Mills), it doesn't matter HOW tragic your vocal is at Eurovision, a song destined to do well will always manage to end up doing so anyway. What was it he said about them almost certainly missing the final based on N'evergreen's vocals, and Lena would fail to go top ten - because of her vocals blah blah blah.

 

It's a song contest, not X Factor. A decent, hell even an adequate vocal will do if you've got a killer song. Send a slice of $hite and sing it note perfect and you'll still find that nobody cares.

 

Of course, a terrible vocal on a song that few people care about anyway can only sink it further (UK 2003, Malta 2006, Ireland 2007) but let's face it, even if those three songs had put in note perfect performances, I doubt any of them would have been troubling higher than 18th-20th...

060 / Sky Ferreira – One

 

I have a lot of time for Sky Ferreira. Even if she is obviously a complete stuck-up cow, what we've heard so far as a final draft has left me far more excited for a new artist than I have been in quite some time, and frankly people, making a love song using robots as a metaphor has a 100% strike rate for 1) getting me onside, and 2) being nothing short of amazing (see: Marina and the Diamonds, Beautiful Small Machines, Gabriella Cilmi, Robyn (x2), Margaret Berger, etc.), and Sky fully satisfies here. Her youthful coos and stop-start repetitions are perfect for this track, but the true star of the piece has got to be the sugary, peaky confection of a production on offer from Bloodshy & Avant.

 

059 / Christina Aguilera – You Lost Me

 

DUMB BITCH. Obesetina made a fatal error in the Bi~On~Ic project - namely, by trying too hard to recreate the successes of the Stripped project and launching with something 'outrageous' - except the main problem with that this time round was that what she thought was 'outrageous' was already being done far better by other people. Alas, she actually had something on offer where she was by far the best on offer for it - her ballads, where she'd made the wise move of getting best friend Sia onboard. Unfortunately, by the time she got around to releasing career-best ballad You Lost Me, nobody was listening anymore. A massive shame really, given nobody ever managed to pull off vulnerable, wistful, yet still defiant and strong quite as well and as emotionally without coming off insincere as Christina did here.

 

 

Production is the secret weapon to intensifying a song's lyrical power, and the productive genius behind this track understood that fully. 18 year old Swedish Idol alumni Tove Styrke has a fantastically emotive voice too, which helps matters immensely - one not too dissimilar, in fact, from Robyn's - and when the massive electronic rush comes through for the chorus as Tove bursts with passion in her delivery, contrary to most singers the production rides on the power of the vocals and not vice versa. It all comes down to the sheer sincerity with which Tove sings of the intensity and emotion of a first relationship, and every second of it is entirely accessible because of the fantastic connection of her voice. Spectacular.

BEST BIT: 'Monochrome city, the colour's fading!'

 

 

Never has Alice Glass sounded so sensitive, so human, as she does on Celestica. Her soft, velveteen coos over a layered, blissfully chilled track a million miles away from anything Crystal Castles had done before caught me massively off-guard when I first heard it, and almost made me think it was a red herring. Where were the unearthly screams? The nervous breakdowns that I had fallen in love with Ms Glass for? The batfuck-insane Gameboy sample usages? None of what made Crystal Castles Crystal Castles was here, but this was still entirely a Crystal Castles record - the underlying unnerving feel to it all, which just made a record as beautiful as this all the more better.

 

(ALSO this track is fabulous because I once managed to get an entire room of forty-something women pissed off Pimms raving to it. AMAZING.)

 

 

GAY.

 

But no, seriously. This track is PURE MUSICAL GENIUS and I won't hear a word against it: what the world needed last year was an 8-bit-influenced Scandipop reswizzle of Hung Up - which, given Hung Up was an American remake of Scandipop, was a bit like putting a sentence into Google Translate and then retranslating it back afterwards. Not quite the same as the original, but infinitely more fabulous in its own bizarre little way - and who can deny that this chorus KICKS THE FUCK out of Gimme Gimme Gimme!'s?

 

OK, I'm NOT SERIOUSLY going to try and go there http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/smilies/grin.gif But still, pop this on, sit back, and LUXURIATE in the gaypoptasticness http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/icons/disco.gif

 

 

 

Actually, no, turn It's Gonna Rain off THIS INSTANT. This is far more important.

 

Fast forward back to May 25th, the fateful date which hosted the WORST SEMI-FINAL KNOWN TO MAN™ in Eurovision history. After sixteen tracks that were mostly COMPLETE DRECK, the gays of the world were fed-up, tired, and had veritable STOCKPILES of poppers left unused after the disappointment they'd just had to endure.

 

And then A VISION IN RED FROM ICELAND ENTERED STAGE TOP http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/icons/disco.gif Fresh from a career attempting to plug Eyjafjallajökull, Hera Bjork came onstage and the highest recorded spike in simultaneous amyl nitrate usage in Europe occurred as the When Love Takes Over-esque broken piano chords were rudely interrupted by several synth stabs and the gays KNEW they were in for something special.

 

And they WERE. VISION IN RED saved the night and Eurovision as a whole by belting out a FUCKING FABULOUS DRAH-MA number about being struck down by love, tinged with just a hint of melancholy and with BUCKETLOADS of poppers o'clock synths, accompanied by a thoroughly ridiculous crabdance and bosomshaking all around. And HOW the gays went wild at the end and when Iceland was announced as the final qualifier!

 

And then it got a shit slot in the final and finished 19th. ALAS.

 

 

Ever since Song #1 I've been haunted by Serebro, and there hasn't been a year since 2007 where they haven't contributed in at least some small way to my end of year countdown (noted career height: Opium, 2008. Youtube it if you aren't familiar.). Times have been tough for the Russian sluts though; the recession took its toll and one of the members had to jack it in for financial reasons, and was replaced with another anonymous faceless ho. The album which FINALLY dropped last year turned out to be shit, and follow-up Like Mary Warner ripped off the love/drugs metaphor of Opium SHAMELESSLY and was mediocre to boot. However, Russian-language version, Sladko, was given a THOROUGHLY APPROPRIATE popperstastic dance remix by their manager, Andrei Harchenko, and the results are plain to hear - never have Serebro created a moment as dancefloor-magical as when the beat drops in 22 seconds into this track, and it never looks back from there. Short of a Eurovision comeback, I simply can't imagine the Russian market is lucrative enough for Serebro to carry on past their sell-by date given the quality of their album, but if this turns out to be their final hurrah I can't say I'll be too outraged if they call it a day.

 

053 / Diamond Rings – Show Me Your Stuff

 

 

I don't think Diamond Rings has yet to come out with a video that's disappointed me.

 

True pop whore that I am, it's only natural I go with the most poptastic and least Diamond Rings-esque (it didn't even make his album, for some reason - fair enough considering it would've stuck out like a sore thumb) track as my favourite, but good lord, even with that pedigree it's still anything BUT your standard throwaway pop track. Edgy house piano designed to have us all party like it's 1992, a chorus that doesn't come in for 2 minutes and 15 seconds (and until AFTER a middle eight!), and a SECOND middle eight made up of...well, bizarre cartoon-sounding samples. Still, with a chorus THAT explosive, who's complaining? And this is all before we've gotten onto the sheer venom of the lyrics.

 

Save your anaesthetic for the boy next door,

nothing in your needle knocks me out no more.

 

Ouch.

 

 

If anybody was EVER foolish enough to question foreign-language pop in my presence, I'd point them to this. Jaunty yet not at all fluffy, and entirely empowering despite me having NO IDEA what she's singing about beyond her knowing something, this one's a true anthem for shaking off the haters with a middle finger and a bullet on a Friday afternoon http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/icons/disco.gif

 

(Oh, and that desert dance routine is ESSENCE OF FIERCE.)

 

 

Sometimes it's incredibly difficult to justify why you've put something quite so high. This is one of those moments. There's nothing hugely intelligent I can point to in this track as an example of why I've put this above many of the things I have done, yet it still feels entirely right that I've done so. It's possibly down to good memories associated with this track; possibly down to the fact this track pretty much sums up all the glow and happiness of late spring/early summer for me; possibly down to everybody truly bringing it on their verse, or possibly just down to the fact I'm a complete sucker for Nicki Minaj's verse (now come on, you CAN'T be telling me you haven't ever had the urge to tell somebody that now's the time to put your pussy on their sideburns?). What can I say? Here's a track I've fallen for entirely with no easily describable reason to account for it being wonderful, other than that it's incredibly cheering to me.

I completely agree about 'BedRock' ... a song I'd normally despise on paper, but Drake, Nicki Minaj and that backing track all make it rather wonderful.

060 / Sky Ferreira – One

 

I have a lot of time for Sky Ferreira. Even if she is obviously a complete stuck-up cow, what we've heard so far as a final draft has left me far more excited for a new artist than I have been in quite some time, and frankly people, making a love song using robots as a metaphor has a 100% strike rate for 1) getting me onside, and 2) being nothing short of amazing (see: Marina and the Diamonds, Beautiful Small Machines, Gabriella Cilmi, Robyn (x2), Margaret Berger, etc.), and Sky fully satisfies here. Her youthful coos and stop-start repetitions are perfect for this track, but the true star of the piece has got to be the sugary, peaky confection of a production on offer from Bloodshy & Avant.

 

One of my favourite tracks of last year, spent 6 weeks at #1 in my personal chart, and used for BJSC :D

 

Oh, what the HELL at this section. Hera down at #55! Although we all knew she was going to excel in the semi (like you say, it was basically by default :drama:) and flop in the final, regardless of her draw! Tove down at #58 :/ I was seriously expecting top five/ten here, the way you were hyping it up at first (especially when I 'let the cat out of the bag' when I hadn't realised you were hoping to save it for BJSC!) :lol: And You Lost Me isn't even approaching the top end of Christina's ballads scale!

 

And Kopecka's crowning glory not top 50 either, major shock there!

This is incredibly high quality by the way :o I consider stuff to have been fantastic to get to this point - this is the first year where I've been incredibly discerning and paid a lot of attention to music. Tove probably would've been higher if I'd had a lot more time with it, given I'm still loving it a lot now...

050 / Joe McElderry – Someone Wake Me Up

 

I don't normally get attached to reality flops, given half the time you can see them coming a million miles off. However, even though I thought he was a terrible X Factor winner, I ended up making quite a connection with Joe McElderry's fate - likely because I was entirely bought by him covering one of my favourite singles of 2009 as his lead single, but even more strongly because of this. X Factor singles tend to be very big on attempting to be epic, but rarely is there actually any genuine majesty to them - and this had it wholesale, with the sweeping strings and glorious backing harmonies in the chorus and the incredibly wistful verses. There's a terrible poignance to this track that was half-intentional and half the result of hindsight, but which made its incredibly tragic underperformance entirely appropriate. And, quite sadly, it's also entirely appropriate that this is likely Joe's curtain call - although, if it was going to be anything, I'm incredibly pleased it was this. It's just a massive shame that the second Joe started being good everybody stopped listening.

 

 

GOOD GOD words cannot describe how much I hate Darin for entering the incredibly drippy You're Out of My Life to Melodifestivalen last year when he had this truly spectacular track up his sleeve. Truly epic in the proper meaning of the word, with the whole choir on backing for a world-destroying chorus, Lovekiller trades off a little meaning for a whole lot of scale, and uses it to full effect by going as bombastic as it possibly can in every area - in vocals, in production, and in hyperbolic lyrics - although really, as if you needed ME to tell you that with the fantastically ridiculous 'You're a cold blooded murderer, MURDERER!' refrain! Iconic on its own terms, I almost feel it's impossible to do this track any justice without reviewing it in all caps.

 

 

Lady Gaga doesn't have the monopoly on scat hooks, as Girlicious showed in mid-2010. Nicole having decided to shed the backing singers and go be fabulous on her own, Girlicious were free to shake the Robin Antin association and create their own niche - and good god, they DID http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/icons/disco.gif Some may call this fabulous slice of insanity-pop generic, but the fact of the matter is you CAN'T ARGUE with a hook as infectious as 'NO-WOAH-WOAH-UH-OH-WOAH-WOAH-WOAH-UH-OH-WOAH-WOAH-WOAH-UH-OH, MANIAC', and that is all. This is one of the few tracks from last year where time has not altered the basic fact that I am unable to remain still when this track comes on.

 

(OTHER NOTED HIGHLIGHTS: the middle eight, and the suitably ridiculous white-dressed chorus dance routine in the rain.)

 

 

There's a very unsettling edge to this track, a traditional folk-style song drenched in melancholy over the wasting of the natural world which the protagonist is dependent on - aided mainly by the simultaneously gorgeous yet haunting harmonies the two switch between doing throughout. Laura and Johnny's voices are perfect for this sort of track, perfectly capturing the wistful nature of it all and expressing the mourning in every word they sing. Breathtaking.

 

046 / Staygold; Spank Rock, Lady Tigra, Damien Adore – Backseat

 

80s pastiche has rarely been so simultaneously effortless and cool. Some (namely La Roux), manage to pull off 80s pastiche while still looking incredibly cool, but there's always the underlying feeling that the result was very laboured, coming from hours of dour, dedicated production and search for the right sound. Backseat, by contrast, sounds as if it was made instantly and as if every participant had an absolute blast in its making - Staygold throwing as many audacious 80s throwback techniques onto the track as he can get away with, Spank Rock and Lady Tigra playfully toying with the explicit lyrics and the listener, whilst Damien Adore (aka Salem al Fakir's infinitely more street credible alter ego) sprinkles the whole thing with ice-cold coos ripped straight out of the greatest track Prince never recorded. Somewhere in Minneapolis, Prince is getting even more irrelevant because of this track's existence.

 

 

Getting absolutely wasted never sounded so appealing. By slyly ripping the hook out of Dev's Booty Bounce, which, let's face it, was never going to do anything in its original form, Far East Movement made an absolute masterstroke in creating the perfect Saturday purple drank anthem, which was only improved by the insistent and exciting production blasts care of The Cataracs. Far East Movement just needed to turn up to the studio to complete an anthem - short of going on an anti-Semitic rant, nothing they could've done could've stopped this track from being an absolute beast.

 

 

It angers me immensely that Tinie Tempah's best track was stopped from #1 by noted condom failure, obnoxious professional fat person and general terrible human being James Corden, but in any case Frisky sold far more than Shout For England in the long run and Corden seems to have thankfully been fatally wounded by his interminable overexposure during the World Cup season so perhaps moral victory is always inevitable if you wait long enough. Anyway, on the track itself, this perfect marriage of electro, drum'n'bass (yet another irresistible outro here, yet one which somehow manages to improve on Pass Out) and grime makes up for its lesser lyrical inspiration with a chorus no less immediate and frenetic, looping production that is simply wonderful.

 

043 / HURTS – Stay

 

The more mature cousin of Lovekiller, Stay tempers the massive scale of the chorus and the choir with a slow, delicate piano build and by switching the emotion from one of scorn to one of intense regret and desperation. In this track, the scale isn't so much a substitute for emotion, but an extension of it - an expression of the heartwrenching agony of the protagonist which builds and wanes throughout (subsiding in the glorious middle eight with a divinely done synth backing) all the way to the spectacular outro chorus from 3 minutes onwards, the musical equivalent of the singer throwing everything he has left in a plea to the ex-lover. I'd imagine this would be the sort of thing that would send me completely over the edge and turn me into a sobbing wreck if I ever parted by non-mutual consent.

 

Well, if I ever parted, for that matter.

 

 

Rarely have songs been so perfectly crafted for lazy, breezy summer afternoons. There's a playful coyness to this track from Icelandic duo Feldberg that's unrivalled in terms of earnest, basic chemistry, and it's an incredibly sweet and charming spectacle that's helped immeasurably by the female vocalist's gorgeous girlish coos that have a wonderful innocence to them.

 

However, adorable though she is, the lady's casual shrugging off of her cat feeding duties for a sex date is UNFORGIVABLE and will lead to her rotting in RSPCA (or Iceland equivalent) HELL.

 

041 / Florrie – Left Too Late

 

Cherly going off and becoming QUEEN OF HEARTS and Nadine going off and attempting to become QUEEN OF TESCO (ignominiously dethroned by Mary Byrne) has meant that for the last few years I've been ROBBED of Girls Aloud, upon whom I could normally rely to provide me with STONE COLD NOVEMBER EVENING ANTHEMS such as The Loving Kind. THANKFULLY, in absentia, Xenomania drafted in a pretty faceless bint by the name of Florrie to fulfill that duty for me, and Left Too Late was born - and a gorgeously textured brooding little number it is too, decorated with Florrie's seductive whispers and the confection of the rushing synths of the bridge and the chorus. Luxuriant bliss.

Joe McElderry higher than Diamond Rings :o for some reason that feels so wrong.

 

SHUDDERS

Joe McElderry higher than Diamond Rings :o for some reason that feels so wrong.

 

SHUDDERS

 

Frisky higher than Backseat :o for some reason that feels so wrong.

 

SHUDDERS

 

In all honesty though - :heart: that somebody else has put this incredible track in their chart of the year, I know I shouldn't moan about a lack of success in BJSC as I have enough of it - but TENTH - what was everyone else listening to :drama: Frisky got a bit annoying for me with the 'na na na na Frisky' hook, and is by some margin my least favourite of the 59 Tinie Tempah songs heard during the course 2010, the other 58 of which are of course amazing.

loving your countdown, not heard the majority of them so i'm finding out about so many new songs. especially loving the delerium song that girls amazing. thought it was jade ewen at first watching the video. and the intro for that serebro song is SO good!

Backseat was definitely one of the injustices of the year - Dreamin' and Show Me Your Stuff not going top ten I could very easily deal with as they weren't expected to do well, but Backseat should've definitely gone top five :(

 

Thank you Jake! :o I'd been genuinely wondering whether this was actually introducing anything new to anybody so it's fantastic to hear that the gospel's being spread adequately :heart:

Quite a good read this, good to see Crystal Castles in there twice, I agree with what you said about 'Celestica' too, it's so un-Crystal Castles but so wonderfully amazing!

 

I disagree on Tinie though, I think 'Frisky' is excellent but I've never been able to see how people can like it more than 'Pass Out' when it sounds so similar but 'Pass Out' is so much better lyrically and is so much more anthemic.

 

I don't disagree with the inclusions of 'Like a G6' and 'Bedrock' either, both are pretty decent for mainstream hits of the year.

 

I'll listen to stuff I don't know which is higher up....

'Maniac' is AMAZING. My jam this Summer, how I wish PCD recorded it instead so it could've been the hit it rightfully deserved to be.

 

Can't stand 'Like A G6' anymore, it just sounds so MONOTONE :(.