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J'Aime La Vie is nice but her voice just irritates me for some reason. :(
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Wash your FUCKING LIFE OUT!

 

Hallelujah is a little too sweet for me to be much higher but it probably SHOULD be higher than Insieme all things considered, I had been wondering if I'd put it a bit low. Maybe top 30? Besides, Insieme isn't even that bad when you don't take the political context into account.

Toto Cutugno is just DREADFUL though. It's a bit like Believe - not the WORST song ever but almost impossible to divorce from everything else in the package.

I've finally come up with my list! I appreciate that Everybody will be significantly higher here than in every other list but tough luck, I voted for it on the night and it was #1 in my chart for two weeks, so blame moi :D

 

Sensational

 

01 | 2012 | Sweden | Loreen - Euphoria

02 | 2010 | Germany | Lena - Satellite 

 

Amazing

 

03 | 2009 | Norway | Alexander Rybak - Fairytale

04 | 2001 | Estonia | Tanel Padar & Dave Benton and 2XL – Everybody

05 | 1997 | United Kingdom | Katrina & the Waves - Love shine a light

06 | 2004 | Ukraine | Ruslana - Wild Dances

07 | 2005 | Greece | Helena Paparizou - My number one

 

Brilliant

 

08 | 1974 | Sweden | ABBA - Waterloo

09 | 2013 | Denmark | Emmelie de Forest - Only Teardrops

10 | 1996 | Ireland | Eimear Quinn - The Voice

11 | 1999 | Sweden | Charlotte Nilsson - Take Me To Your Heaven

12 | 1991 | Sweden | Carola - Fångad Av En Stormvind

13 | 2000 | Denmark | Olsen Brothers - Fly On The Wings of Love

14 | 1998 | Israel | Dana International – Diva

15 | 1995 | Norway | Secret Garden - Nocturne

16 | 1981 | United Kingdom | Bucks Fizz - Making Your Mind Up

17 | 1967 | United Kingdom | Sandie Shaw - Puppet On A String

18 | 1982 | Germany | Nicole - Ein bißchen Frieden

19 | 1994 | Ireland | Paul Harrington & Charlie McGettigan - Rock 'N Roll Kids

 

Very Good

 

20 | 1988 | Switzerland | Celine Dion - Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi

21 | 1973 | Luxembourg | Anne-Marie David - Tu te reconnaîtras

22 | 1992 | Ireland | Linda Martin - Why Me?

23 | 1975 | Netherlands | Teach-in – Ding-a-Dong

24 | 1985 | Norway | Bobbysocks! - La Det Swinge

25 | 2006 | Finland | Lordi - Hard Rock Hallelujah

26 | 1976 | United Kingdom | Brotherhood of Man - Save Your Kisses For Me

27 | 1979 | Israel | Gali Atari and Milk & Honey – Hallelujah

28 | 2007 | Serbia | Marija Šerifović – Molitva

 

Good

 

29 | 1993 | Ireland | Niamh Kavanagh - In Your Eyes

30 | 1963 | Denmark | Grethe & Jørgen Ingmann – Dansevise

31 | 1987 | Ireland | Johnny Logan - Hold Me Now 

32 | 2011 | Azerbaijan | Ell/Nikki - Running Scared

33 | 2003 | Turkey | Sertab Erener - Everyway That I Can

34 | 1969 | United Kingdom | Lulu - Boom Bang-A-Bang

35 | 1970 | Ireland | Dana - All Kinds Of Everything

 

Average

 

36 | 1989 | Yugoslavia | Riva - Rock Me

37 | 1972 | Luxembourg | Vicky Leandros - Apres Toi

38 | 1971 | Monaco | Séverine - Un Banc, Un Arbre, Une Rue

39 | 1960 | France | Jacqueline Boyer - Tom Pillibi

40 | 1983 | Luxembourg | Corinne Hermès - Si La Vie Est Cadeau

41 | 1980 | Ireland | Johnny Logan - What's Another Year

42 | 1986 | Belgium | Sandra Kim - J'Aime La Vie

43 | 1984 | Sweden | Herreys - Diggi-Loo Diggi-Ley

44 | 1977 | France | Marie Myriam - L'Oiseau Et L'Enfant

45 | 1978 | Israel | Izhar Cohen & Alphabeta - A Ba Ni Bi

46 | 1965 | Luxembourg | France Gall - Poupée de cire, poupée de son

47 | 1956 | Switzerland | Lys Assia – Refrain

48 | 1969 | Netherlands | Lennie Kuhr - De Troubadour

49 | 1962 | France | Isabelle Aubret - Un Premier Amour

50 | 1968 | Spain | Massiel - La La La

51 | 1961 | Luxembourg | Jean-Claude Pascal - Nous Les Amoureux

52 | 1966 | Austria | Udo Jürgens - Merci, Chérie

53 | 1969 | France | Frida Boccara - Un Jour, Un Enfant

54 | 1958 | France | André Claveau - Dors Mon Amour

55 | 1957 | Netherlands | Corry Brokken - Net Als Toen

56 | 1964 | Italy | Gigliola Cinquetti - No Ho L'Età

57 | 1959 | Netherlands | Teddy Scholten - Een Beetje

58 | 1969 | Spain | Salomé - Vivo Cantando

 

Crap

 

59 | 2008 | Russia | Dima Bilan – Believe

60 | 2002 | Latvia | Marie N - I Wanna

61 | 1990 | Italy | Toto Cutugno - Insieme:1992

My list. (Some of the older songs are based on around 2 listens so expect a slight skew to more recent songs)

 

01 Sweden 2012

02 United Kingdom 1997

03 Germany 2010

04 France 1969

05 Israel 1998

06 Turkey 2003

07 Luxembourg 1973

08 Norway 1995

09 Norway 2009

10 Sweden 1974

 

11 Denmark 1963

12 Denmark 2000

13 Netherlands 1975

14 Ireland 1993

15 Sweden 1991

16 Norway 1985

17 Germany 1982

18 United Kingdom 1981

19 Switzerland 1988

20 Serbia 2007

 

21 Luxembourg 1965

22 Sweden 1999

23 United Kingdom 1967

24 Denmark 2013

25 Finland 2006

26 Greece 2005

27 Luxembourg 1972

28 Ukraine 2004

29 Israel 1979

30 United Kingdom 1969

 

31 Spain 1968

32 Ireland 1987

33 France 1977

34 Italy 1964

35 Sweden 1984

36 Israel 1978

37 Switzerland 1956

38 Yugoslavia 1989

39 Spain 1969

40 United Kingdom 1976

 

41 Monaco 1971

42 Ireland 1992

43 France 1960

44 Netherlands 1969

45 Azerbaijan 2011

46 Netherlands 1959

47 Ireland 1996

48 Luxembourg 1961

49 Netherlands 1957

50 Belgium 1986

 

51 Ireland 1970

52 Latvia 2002

53 Ireland 1980

54 Estonia 2001

55 Russia 2008

56 France 1962

57 Austria 1966

58 Luxembourg 1983

59 France 1958

60 Ireland 1994

61 Italy 1990

 

I guess I'm just not in a very Irish mood today.

  • Author
Italy 1990 last in so many lists. :( U HOES

I mean LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE PUT IT ABOVE. The GREATEST INDICTMENT OF YOUR TASTE EVER.

 

31 | 1999 | Sweden | Charlotte Nilsson - Take Me To Your Heaven

32 | 1993 | Ireland | Niamh Kavanagh - In Your Eyes

33 | 2000 | Denmark | Olsen Brothers - Fly On The Wings of Love

34 | 1996 | Ireland | Eimear Quinn - The Voice

35 | 1992 | Ireland | Linda Martin - Why Me?

36 | 1983 | Luxembourg | Corinne Hermès - Si La Vie Est Cadeau

37 | 1987 | Ireland | Johnny Logan - Hold Me Now

38 | 1984 | Sweden | Herreys - Diggi-Loo Diggi-Ley

39 | 1976 | United Kingdom | Brotherhood of Man - Save Your Kisses For Me

40 | 1956 | Switzerland | Lys Assia - Refrain

- JOY DISTILLED INTO THREE MINUTES

- Ireland's SOLE JUSTIFICATION of all their winners for not reforming their abortion laws!

- A TRIUMPH of a sweet tale and a melody over modern day ageism!

- Something that was a bit OVERKILL but still to be preferred to Insieme in the same way that Mikey telling the same joke everyone made two pages ago is preferable to being RAPED with an AXE

- A song that expresses in its title the EXACT MOOD I ENTER when I RECALL INSIEME'S EXISTENCE

- A DULL BOND THEME that is STILL BETTER THAN INSIEME

- JOHNNY FUCKING LOGAN. STILL BETTER THAN INSIEME!

- Three DULL-ARSE MORMONS with the most OBNOXIOUS Scandipop song EVER, and it's STILL PREFERABLE TO INSIEME!

- A song about a man so BORED with his HUMDRUM LIFE that he has to CONDUCT AN AFFAIR WITH HIS THREE YEAR OLD CHILD OF INDETERMINATE GENDER and make PROMISES FOR HIS RETURN FROM WORK just to get him through his AWFUL JOB DOWN PIT

- LYS FUCKING ASSIA! You've put that SACCHARINE WANK above l'ORIGINALE!

 

41 | 1977 | France | Marie Myriam - L'Oiseau Et L'Enfant

42 | 1980 | Ireland | Johnny Logan - What's Another Year

43 | 1994 | Ireland | Paul Harrington & Charlie McGettigan - Rock 'N Roll Kids

44 | 1961 | Luxembourg | Jean-Claude Pascal - Nous Les Amoureux

45 | 1960 | France | Jacqueline Boyer - Tom Pillibi

46 | 1981 | United Kingdom | Bucks Fizz - Making Your Mind Up

47 | 2001 | Estonia | Tanel Padar & Dave Benton and 2XL - Everybody

48 | 1970 | Ireland | Dana - All Kinds Of Everything

49 | 1985 | Norway | Bobbysocks! - La Det Swinge

50 | 1957 | Netherlands | Corry Brokken - Net Als Toen

 

- One of the TWO NATIONS CARRYING the EU. THIS SONG has probably done more for European unity than SODDING INSIEME

- JOHNNY FUCKING LOGAN (AGAIN)

- The SOPHIE'S CHOICE of Eurovision, albeit I want rid of BOTH. But not as VICIOUSLY or CRUELLY as TOTO CUTUGNO

- A man in DIRE NEED of a Strepsil, yet in comparison with Toto Cutugno sounds like a SEDUCTIVE SIREN OF OLDE LEGEND

- That ANNOYING ONE with the NOTHING HOOK.

- A 50s pastiche that packs more EFFORTLESS JOY into three minutes than has EVER been accrued over the sum last twenty three years by EVERY LISTEN to Insieme (with EXHIBITIONISM TOO)

- The TEMPLATE FOR ANDY ABRAHAM'S LIFE. At least HE WAS PROBABLY A NICE PERSON

- OBOES AND CLARINETS/ALL KINDS OF EVERYTHING ARE BETTER THAN YOU

- The most RELENTLESS EXPRESSION OF RIOTOUS HAPPINESS EVER RECORDED

- Some SHIT I CAN'T REMEMBER (a STATE I WISH I COULD REACH WITH INSIEME)

 

51 | 1979 | Israel | Gali Atari and Milk & Honey - Hallelujah

52 | 1982 | Germany | Nicole - Ein bißchen Frieden

53 | 1962 | France | Isabelle Aubret - Un Premier Amour

54 | 1966 | Austria | Udo Jürgens - Merci, Chérie

55 | 1989 | Yugoslavia | Riva - Rock Me

56 | 1964 | Italy | Gigliola Cinquetti - No Ho L'Età

57 | 2011 | Azerbaijan | Ell/Nikki - Running Scared

58 | 2008 | Russia | Dima Bilan - Believe

59 | 1958 | France | André Claveau - Dors Mon Amour

60 | 1959 | Netherlands | Teddy Scholten - Een Beetje

 

61 | 2002 | Latvia | Marie N - I Wanna

- A song RICH in textual heritage which serves as a metaphor for the JEWISH RACE AS A WHOLE and has become a POP STANDARD FOR A WHOLE ETHNICITY. I think even Insieme's TANGENTIAL ATTACHMENT with the European project probably DOOMED IT FROM THE START

- A song that summed EVERYTHING TOTO TRIED TO CONVEY with UNFATHOMABLE MULTIPLES MORE of CLASS, BEAUTY, AND NOT-SHITNESS

- Songs from LESS UNDERSTANDING TIMES when Toto would have been up afront the MAGISTRATE on HIGH CRIMES of BEING TOTO

- A song which demonstrated that PERHAPS the benefits of the Cold War have been FORGOTTEN. We got Yugoslavia, and we DIDN'T GET TOTO

- A track of such TREMBLING ELEGANCE that it makes me want to only wear RED VELVET for the rest of my life. Insieme following THIS as Italy's winner is the equivalent of going to a 5* restaurant, having the WORLD'S GREATEST STEAK and then following it up with PIG VULVA FOR PUDDING

- Even ELLE, the MYSTIC BUM-BITER OF BAKU and the FIRST VICTOR of a nation that has done more to MOCK the contest than any other (bar Italy) is a more UPSTANDING REPRESENTATIVE OF EUROPEAN VALUES than TOTO. Elle vs Toto is ANOTHER Sophie's Choice of overweening hosting incompetence, but at least Elle didn't come off as HUMANITY'S PRIZE PRICK

- A COCAINE ADDICTION WITH A MULLET IS PREFERABLE TO THAT GREASED HUSK

- MORE SONGS I CAN'T REMEMBER

- INSIEME'S VICTORY MAKES I WANNA'S LOOK UNDERSTANDABLE AND WELL JUDGED

 

PHILISTINE!

  • Author

Except it's not. The UNITE UNITE EUROPE line is bit cheesy and probably even too try-hard but the song is so catchy :(

 

edit: some great things you wrote in the post above. Only they are ALL WRONG :D

Edited by Pavel

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