the Suedehead2 Replacement Chart Service

Suedehead2’s Stand-In Chart Commentary 14th April 2023

2 weeks of Miracles and 1 Higher Than Heaven!

Suedey is still taking a break for a while, so the Replacement Bus is back. Tickets available as you enter. Thank you!

It’s a second week on top for Calvin Harris & Ellie Goulding as they create more Miracles, not least Ellie Goulding getting her new album Higher Than Heaven on the album chart. Nearest challenger turned out to be Libianca’s People, which has been yo-yoing about the top end of the singles chart for some while now without going all the way. Up two to a new peak of 2 with Ed Sheeran Eyes Closed, presumably at not having a 53-week run at number 1 this time, holding at 3. Rema’s another that has been around a while, Calm Down, climbs one back to the number 4 peak.

Drake’s back, fair warning! Number 5. Send out a Search & Rescue for me as I run for the hills in case I have to hear it again. For the purposes of this I felt it only right to give it a spin. 15 years of autotuned plodding Trap (or something that rhymes with it), and counting. Smart lyrics, a wonderful singing voice, and a talent for melody. Just 3 things I longed for as I suffered through it. Apparently poor multi-millionaire Drake can’t find a nice girl to help him make money. I’d suggest it’s possibly cos he comes over sounding like a sour and self-pitying pimp in these lyrics? Taking an interest in other people’s good qualities and lives rather than publicly mulling over the size of bank accounts might bring more success. Just trying to help, you’re welcome! Meanwhile, it’s Red Flags inside the top 10 after waving slowly up and down with no bulls in sight for Mimi Webb.

It’s also a new entry at 26 for another chart veteran, David Guetta with new mates Anne-Marie and Coi Leray, another week, another dance collab. The French dance icon of many a classic hit is only 7 years (pending abandoned legislation) away from his state pension, so more power to us older folk nicking an old 90’s classic we used to dance to and making sure we get a nice percentage of the songwriting royalties by way of introducing hit songs to a new generation. Baby Don’t Hurt Me is of course a revamp of classic dance hit What Is Love from Haddaway. Personally I’d have gone for Life, but it’s a pretty good track anyway. Daveed is now on over 100 singles, and 47 top 40 singles, Anne-Marie a paltry (in comparison) 20th, and Coi Leray a 2nd. Lewis Capaldi is back in the top 10 with Forget Me, much as I’d like to it seems people streaming just can’t get enough of the same old songs. I remember the good old days when tracks which dropped down, stayed dropped down and made way for new stuff. Happy times!

It’s an unmoved Mae Stephens’ If We Ever Broke Up, obviously the veiled threats putting off listeners rather than the partner, and it’s a Whistle-stop at 14 for Jax Jones and Calum Scott, not moving, and holding at 15, Switch Disco and Ella Henderson treading water mostly is how I REACT. Bakar is still struggling to Hell N Back, now up to 20, and the very catchy Can’t Tame Her up 2 to 25 for Zara Larsson. I’m So Excited for her!

New at 34, one that caught me out - it’s girl group Cupid new in at 34 with Fifty Fifty which is higher than the chances I would have given them of going top 40. I’m assuming K-Pop but I stand to be corrected. Morgan Wallen, US country superstar, does the impossible - an actual UK Country Music top 40 hit! Last Night is at 35 after 5 weeks of climbing the list, though that’s nothing compared to the US top 40, where this single is number one, and album tracks make up another 11 slots inside the Hot 100 - and that’s 2 less than he has held for the last 4 weeks. Quite popular then!

Over on albums, Ellie Goulding won a quiet week to comfortably enter at 1 with Higher Than Heaven. She might not be getting any solo hits these days, but the collabs haven’t harmed her album performance - it’s her 4th number one of 5 studio albums since her debut Lights did it in 2010. New at 2, runner-up NF had me rushing to Google. An American rapper, apparently. His 2010 debut did less well than Ellie Goulding’s, remaining uncharted along with the next 2 albums before streaming playlists did the trick and got The Search to 7 in 2019. HOPE betters that at 2. The Weeknd’s hits album climbs to 3, and Lewis Capaldi’s Divinely Uninspired album celebrates 204 weeks on the chart by rising to 4 with Taylor Swift’s Midnights up to 5, presumably sympathy plays for her break-up with her London Boy.

Linkin Park’s Meteora is back due to a 20th Anniversary Special Edition, the home of the classic Numb falling short of the number one it got first-time round, just short of the top 5 at 7.

New at 12 is Daughter. I thought it might be a typo of Daughtry, but no it’s an English/Swiss/French indie folk trio who charted at 16 with debut If You Leave in 2013 and hit a new peak with 3rd album Stereo Mind Game. John Lennon had a stereo Mind Games album in 1973, so I hope they’ve done a version of his fab Mind Games. Merci ta!

Apart from that the top 40 is chocka with the usual suspects of dropping new albums, hits packages and classic oldies. Oldest album on the charts, as ever, is Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours. I was 20 when I first heard it 45 years ago in my student digs - my room-mate had it. I loved it, so I bought it too. It has 12 weeks to go to hit the big 1000 weeks on the top 100, joining fellow Grandees Abba Gold and Queen Greatest Hits, so it should become the first studio album to achieve that on, ooh, most-likely first week in July.