During the next few months so, I will be counting down my Top 100 Best Simpsons episodes. I hope that you will enjoy the countdown.

 

 

 

Breakdown of episodes from seasons featured in this countdown:

 

Season 1: 6

Season 2: 9

Season 3: 15

Season 4: 14

Season 5: 11

Season 6: 17

Season 7: 13

Season 8: 12

Season 9: 1

Season 10: 2

 

100TH-

 

Season 2 Episode 13:

 

Homer vs Lisa and the 8th Commandment

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After seeing Ned Flanders reject an offer from a crooked cable man for a $50 illegal cable hookup, Homer chases after the cable man and takes the offer. The Simpsons like the new channels and spend hours watching them. However, Lisa is suspicious about the cable hookup, and after a Sunday school lesson about the existence and nature of Hell, she fears that Homer is violating the Eighth of the Ten Commandments — "Thou shalt not steal" — and will go to Hell when he dies.

 

After seeing other examples of common thievery everywhere, Lisa visits Reverend Lovejoy. He dissuades Lisa from reporting her father's illegal cable hookup to the police since the Fifth Commandment states one must "honor thy father and thy mother", but instead advises her to lead by example and refuse to watch programs via the cable hookup. Marge pleads with Homer to either cut the cable or pay for it, but he refuses. However, after the cable man offers to sell him a stolen car stereo and attempts to break into Ned's house, Homer barricades his windows in fear. Bart one evening discovers a porn channel called "Top Hat Entertainment" and despite fear of punishment from Homer who unfortunately spots him watching it, Homer lets Bart off with a warning telling him not to watch the channel again. Bart pretends to agree to this and behind Homer's back charges the neighborhood children 50 cents to watch the cable porn channel, but just as it begins Homer catches him and sends him to his room as punishment.

 

Homer invites his co-workers and bar buddies to watch Drederick Tatum fight for the World Heavyweight Championship during a cable-TV boxing match. Unfortunately for Homer, Mr. Burns also finds out and decides to attend the gathering to watch the match. Whilst preparing for the viewing party, Homer is forced to hastily hide items he stole from some of his guests, namely office supplies from the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant and beer mugs from Moe's. When Lisa announces she will boycott the screening, Homer banishes her to the lawn, where she is joined by Marge and Maggie. Eventually Homer's conscience bothers him and he begrudgingly chooses not to watch the fight, dragging Bart outside with him. When his friends leave, Homer hesitantly cuts the cable hookup over Bart's objections. However, it ends up being a hollow victory on Lisa’s part as Homer ends up cutting off power to his neighborhood while trying to find the right wire to cut the cable.

Best Quotes:

 

Homer: Oh, hey, hey. Family, family, come here. I have an announcement to make. The Simpsons have cable!

Bart and Lisa: Cable!? (they excitedly clamor in front of the TV.)

Homer: That's right, 68 channels. MTV for the kids, (to Marge) VH-1 for us. Sixteen hundred hours of quality programming, every day!

Marge: Homer, we've talked about cable before. Do you really think we can afford it?

Homer: (chuckles) Nothing a month? Yeah, I think we can swing that.

Marge: Hmmmm. Are you sure this is legal?

Homer: Don't worry, Marge. Take a look at this. (hands Marge a pamphlet entitled, "So, You've Decided To Steal Cable.")

Marge: (reads from pamphlet) "Myth: It's only fair to pay for quality first-run movies. Fact: Most movies shown on cable get two stars or less, and are repeated ad nauseam."

 

Marge: [asks the kids about Sunday school]So, what did you children learn about today?

Bart: Hell.

Homer: Bart!

Bart: Well, that's what we learned about. I sure as hell can't tell you we learned about hell unless I say "hell," can I?

Homer: Eh, The lad has a point.

Bart: Hell, yes!

Marge: Bart!

Bart: (singing) Hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell.

Marge: Bart, you're no longer in Sunday school. Don't swear!

 

Beginning this countdown, we have Homer vs Lisa and the 8th Commandment. This is one of the episodes where Lisa would put a damper on everything with the fact that Homer gets cable TV for free.

A great episode that one!

Lookin forward to this!! :cheer:

99TH-

 

Season 1 Episode 11:

 

The Crepes of Wrath

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After Homer trips over Bart's skateboard and falls down the stairs, he is confined to the couch for several days with an injured back. As punishment, Marge makes Bart clean his room, where he discovers an old cherry bomb. At school the next day, he flushes it down a toilet in the boys' restroom while Principal Skinner's mother, Agnes, is using the adjacent girls' restroom. The resulting explosion blows Agnes off the toilet seat, enraging Principal Skinner.

 

Skinner aims to punish Bart beyond suspension or expulsion; he proposes to Homer and Marge that Bart enter the school's student exchange program, spending three months in France. When Bart is told he would be staying in a lovely French château, he agrees to Skinner's plan, much to Homer and Skinner's delight. During Bart's time in France, the Simpsons host a student from Albania named Adil Hoxha.

 

When Bart arrives at Château Maison, he finds a dilapidated farmhouse at a run-down vineyard. His hosts are winemakers César and Ugolin, who treat him like a slave. Bart is starved while being made to carry buckets of water, pick and crush grapes, sleep on the floor, and test wine contaminated with antifreeze.

 

Adil arrives in Springfield and impresses Marge and Homer with his polite manners and help with household chores. Homer takes Adil on a tour of the plant and thinks nothing when Adil takes many photographs, which he transmits to Albania with a fax machine hidden in Bart's treehouse; it is revealed that Adil is an Albanian spy sent to obtain blueprints of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant's reactor.

 

When Bart's captors send him to town to buy a case of antifreeze, he asks a police officer for help, but the police officer does not speak any English. Bart walks away, frustrated that he has not learned any French. However, he suddenly begins speaking French, and tells the police officer about the cruelty that he has suffered at the hands of the winemakers, as well as their efforts to sell adulterated wine. The men are swiftly arrested, and Bart is hailed as a hero for exposing their scheme.

 

In Springfield, Adil is caught spying by the FBI and deported to Albania in exchange for the return of an American spy captured there. Bart returns home with gifts for his family. Homer is excited upon learning that Bart speaks French, not realising that Bart called him a buffoon.

Best Quotes:

 

Bart [moans as the address gets washed away by the rain]: Ohhh...

Bart [shivering while standing underneath a restaurant canopy]: You're a policeman, aren't you?

Gendarme: Excusez-moi, je ne parle pas anglais. [i'm sorry, I do not speak English.]

Bart: But- but you gotta help me; these two guys I'm staying with, they work me day and night, they don't feed me, they make me sleep on-

Gendarme: Gentil garçon, voilà un bonbon. [Little boy, have a piece of candy.]

Bart [coughing]: I don't want a piece of candy, I need your he- [bart eats the piece of candy] Come on, mister, can you help me?

Gendarme: Je suis désolé. J'aimerai vraiment pouvoir vous aider. [i'm sorry. I would really like to help you.]

Bart: Oh, forget it. I'm so stupid. Anybody could have learned this dumb language by now. Here I've listened to [suddenly speaking in French accent] nothing but French for the past-

Bart [starts speaking in fluent French]: Deux mois et je ne sais pas un mot. Attendez! Je parle français maintenant. Incroyable. Hé, monsieur. Tu dois m'aider. Ces deux gars me travaillent nuit et jour. Ils ne me nourrissent pas, ils me font dormir sur le sol. Ils ont mis de l'antigel dans le vin et ils ont donné mon chapeau rouge à l'âne. [Two months and I haven't learned a word! Wait! I'm talking French now! Incredible! Hey, monsieur, you got to help me! These two guys work me night and day. They don't feed me. They make me sleep on the floor. They put antifreeze in the wine and they gave my red hat to the donkey.]

Gendarme: Antifreeze dans le vin? Ah, mais c'est serieux, ça! Viens avec moi, fiston. Tu n'as plus rien a creindre. [Anti-freeze in the wine? That is a very serious crime! Come along, boy. There is nothing for you to fear now.]

Bart: Mon sauveteur, vous aurez toujours une place dans mon cœur. [My saviour. You will always have a place in my heart.

 

Bart: So, basically, I met one nice French person.

Lisa: Bart, I have something to say that's gonna bother me if I don't say it: It's good to see you.

Bart: Same here.

Marge: Homer, I'd love a glass of that wine Bart brought us.

Homer [grunting]: Sorry,Marge, some wise guy stuck a cork in the bottle.

Bart [in French]: Ah, mon pere, quel bouffon. [My father, what a buffoon.]

Homer: You hear that, Marge? My boy speaks French!

 

Bart: Hello, what have we here? A cherry bomb! I thought I blew all you guys up.

98TH-

 

Season 9 Episode 7:

 

Realty Bites

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After Marge complains about the family spending their weekends idly at home, Homer drags her to a police seized-property auction. While there, he buys Snake's car, the Li'l Bandit. Upon seeing this, Snake vows to kill Homer. After the auction, insisting on walking home rather than ride in Homer's new dangerous hotrod, Marge encounters Lionel Hutz, who has become a realtor. Marge decides to try the job for herself and begins to work for Hutz at Red Blazer Realty. She tells prospective buyers her honest opinion about the houses she shows them, which prevents her from selling any homes. Hutz informs her to use more positive descriptions when selling the houses, and also informs Marge if she does not sell a house in the first week, she will be fired. Marge tries to bend the truth but fails as she just cannot lie to others. Marge does not disclose the entire truth of the house she sells to Ned Flanders and his family, which had been the site of a multiple homicide, a property which Red Blazer Realty had hitherto been unable to sell. The Flanders purchase the house and bid farewell to the Simpsons.

 

Meanwhile, Snake escapes from the prison and jumps into the Li'l Bandit to retrieve the car from Homer. They start fighting each other to gain control of the moving car, and Chief Wiggum starts chasing them.

 

Feeling guilty about her deception and concerned for the Flanders' safety, Marge goes to check on them at their new house. There, she tells them the truth about the murders, but they are not upset. Ned and Maude are pleased to be a part of Springfield's history, and refuse Marge's offer of returning the deposit. However, the house is destroyed seconds later when Li'l Bandit and Wiggum's police car crash through the house. Marge returns Ned's down payment. Hutz, furious at the destruction costs and especially by the return of the money, fires Marge (giving her a Red Blazer embroidered with this information). At the end of the episode, Homer takes Marge to the government unemployment office to collect a welfare check.

Best Quotes:

 

Ned Flanders: (screams) Purple drapes. All my life I've wanted purple drapes! (screams)

Marge: (while at the unemployment office) $300 for doing nothing? It feel like such a crook.

George Bush Sr.: Don't worry. It gets easier every week.

Kirk: I told that idiot to slice my sandwich! (wire cuts half of his arm off) Ow.

My personal favourite is Lisa the vegetarian, pleasing but maybe not surprising to see no episodes after season 9 :lol:

97TH-

 

Season 10 Episode 12:

 

Sunday, Cruddy Sunday

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Bart, Lisa and the students of Springfield Elementary go on a field trip to the post office, Bart gets a coupon book as a souvenir, which he gives to Homer as a birthday present. Homer uses one of his coupons for a free wheel balancing at a tire shop, but is conned into buying four new tires for his car. While waiting for the installation, Homer meets Wally Kogen, a travel agent. The two watch a special on the Super Bowl while drinking at Moe's, and Wally explains that his agency is sending a charter bus to the game. To get free seats for himself and Bart, Homer helps Wally fill the bus by persuading many prominent male citizens of Springfield to sign up.

 

Homer, Bart, and the men arrive at Miami's Pro Player Stadium for pre-game festivities, only to discover that Wally has bought counterfeit tickets. They try to sneak in, but are caught and detained in a cell, where they vent their frustration on Homer. After Dolly Parton - a friend of Wally's and one of the halftime entertainers - breaks them out, they make their way into a skybox suite and spend more time gorging themselves on free food and drinks than they do watching the game. Confronted by the box's owner, Rupert Murdoch, the group flees toward the field but is promptly swept into the locker room by the victorious Denver Broncos whom they have triumphed over their rival team, the Atlanta Falcons. They share in the celebration, with Homer taking a congratulatory phone call from President Bill Clinton, and several of the men wind up with Super Bowl rings as they board the bus to return to Springfield.

 

Meanwhile, Marge and Lisa find a 1960s-era egg decorating kit endorsed by Vincent Price and decide to use it. When the kit proves to have no feet for the egg, Marge calls the company's help line and finds herself listening to Price on a voice mail greeting. As Homer's group leaves Miami, Pat Summerall and John Madden analyze the events of the episode, their initially favorable opinion quickly souring. They board a bus driven by Price, who has trouble shifting gears properly.

Best Quotes:

 

Bart: (sees Homer with the Super Bowl trophy) Dad, that doesn't belong to you.

Homer: But this might be my last chance to win one.

 

Homer: (in the iamspamspamami on the phone with Lenny) Come on Lenny, I need four more guys to fill my Super Bowl bus. Whadaya say?

Lenny: Nah.

Homer: (pleadingly) Come on...

Lenny: Nah.

Homer: (growing more desperate) Come on...!

Lenny: Nah.

Homer: (whining) Oh, come ON!

Lenny: Aww...

Homer: (suddenly hanging up) YES! Now that Lenny's in, Carl will fall like a domino.

Wally: Well, we sure put together a heck of a trip, Homer. Ever thought about being a travel agent?

Homer: Wally, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't.

Wally: 'Cause you can really "go" places in the travel business. Huh? (laughs) Feel free to use that one.

Homer: [not hearing] What one?

all good ones so far, I'm not that familiar with post season 12 episodes, so if there are any gems I might have missed that'll be interesting, but the first 10 years were the canine animal's testicles.... :)

 

96TH-

 

Season 10, Episode 17-

 

Maximum Homerdrive

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When a steak-eating contest between Homer and a beloved trucker proves fatal for the latter, Homer (accompanied by Bart) decides to complete his final run for him, and discover a shady industry secret about truckers. Meanwhile, Lisa and Marge buy a new doorbell, but can't get anyone to ring it.

[best Quotes:[/b]

 

Homer: Look, son. It's one of Nature's most beautiful sights… the convoy.

(one of the Trucks hits Homer's trailer)

Bart: He hit us!

Homer: Oh, I should have known. They're hazing us, to initiate us into the truckers' fraternity. (the truck is hit again) Thank you sir, may I have another?

Bart: Dad, they're trying to kill us.

Homer: Oh, why do all my trips end like this?

 

 

Homer: Uh, yeah. I need something that will keep me awake, alert, and reckless all night long.

Clerk: Well, Congress is racing back to Washington to outlaw these. (shows him a bottle of pills)

Homer: Sold!

(Swallows the pills straight away)

Clerk: Hey, you can't take that many pep pills at once.

Homer: No problem, I'll balance it out with a bottle of sleeping pills.

Red Barclay: Red Barclay's my name. I'm a trucker, and I've eaten steaks from coast to coast with taters and toast. Take my advice. This one's not for greenhorns.

Homer: Greenhorn? Who's a greenhorn? What's a greenhorn?

Bart: It's an insult, Dad. Sock him. Sock everybody.

Homer: (to Red) Oh, you're just jealous 'cause you don't have the belly for it anymore, Mr. No-Belly. Mr...Hasn't-Got-A-Belly.

Red Barclay: Well, I have just finished a whole lamb but, uh, I reckon I could take you to school. You're on, boy.

95TH-

 

S6E18-

 

A Star Is Burns

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To combat news that the town is the most anti-intellectual city in the United States (so anti-intellectual, in fact, that they still burn people at the stake for believing in science), Marge suggests that Springfield hold a film festival, prompting everyone in town to create their own short films. Jay Sherman from the ABC sitcom The Critic flies down to Springfield to be one of the judges after reading Marge's fan letter (and to escape Rainier Wolfcastle after Sherman insulted him during an interview on Coming Attractions). Homer, out of jealousy, urges Marge to be on the film jury as well, but things get sticky when Homer must choose between a beautiful, yet tragic movie about Barney Gumble's alcoholism and a crudely funny short film showing Hans Moleman getting hit in the groin by a football. Meanwhile, Mr. Burns uses the film festival as an opportunity to boost his massive ego with a self-indulgent epic movie of his own.

Best Quotes:

 

Mayor Quimby: All in favor of Marge Simpson's film festival idea?

Crowd: [chanting in unison] Film festival! Film festival!

Marge: You like my idea? Actually, I have several others--

Crowd: [in unison, cutting her off] Don't push your luck! Don't push your luck!

 

Homer: [laughing to the point of tears]This contest is over! Give that man the ten thousand dollars!

Jay Sherman: [disapprovingly] This isn't America's Funniest Home Videos.

Homer: But ... the ball! His groin! It works on so many levels! [still laughing] Roll it again!

94TH-

 

S2E20:

 

The War of the Simpsons

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Marge throws a dinner party, Homer gets drunk and makes a fool of himself (even going as far as tricking Maude Flanders into digging for nuts so he can ogle her cleavage) and Marge forces Homer to explain to Bart what he did and go on a marriage retreat (which Homer wants to abandon so he can go after a legendary catfish). Meanwhile, after their babysitter freaks out over memories of Bart trying to run her over with the family car, Grampa Simpson steps in to care for the kids — and Bart and Lisa take advantage of the old man by making him do whatever they want (eat ice cream instead of dinner, smoke cigars, drink coffee, and have a wild party).

Best Quotes:

 

Bait Shop Clerk: Yep, "General Sherman". They say he's five hundred pounds of bottom-dwelling fury, don't you know. No one knows how old he is, but if you ask me (and most people do), he's hundred years if he's a day.

Customer: And, uh, no one's ever caught him?

Bait Shop Clerk: Well, one fella came close. Went by the name of Homer. Seven feet tall he was, with arms like tree trunks. His eyes were like steel, cold, hard. Had a shock of hair, red like the fires of Hell...

 

 

[Marge and Homer have an argument in the car. Marge turns on the radio]Marge: When I was young, I always hated knowing my parents were fighting!

[bart, Lisa and Maggie watch from the house]

Bart: They're fighting in the car again.

Lisa Simpson: That music always sends a chill down my spine.

 

93RD-

 

S6E2:

 

Lisa's Rival

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A new girl in Lisa’s class named Allison Taylor proves to be better at Lisa in the classroom and on the saxophone. Meanwhile, Homer sells sugar found on the street after a truck crash.

Best Quotes:

 

 

Ralph: [whispering] Lisa, what's the answer to number seven?

Lisa: [whispering] Sorry, Ralph. That would defeat the purpose of testing as a means of student evaluation.

Ralph: My cat's name is Mittens.

 

Ralph: [whispers]Hey, Allison, what's the answer to number nine?

Allison: [whispers] I can't tell you, Ralph.

Lisa: [whispers] I can't tell you either, Ralph.

Ralph: [to Lisa] Leave me alone!

 

92ND

 

S7E6:

 

Treehouse of Horror VI

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Attack of the 50-Foot Eyesores": A freak ionic storm brings Springfield's over-sized advertisements and billboards to life to attack the town thanks to Homer stealing the Lard Lad statue's giant donut.

 

"Nightmare on Evergreen Terrace": Groundskeeper Willie attacks schoolchildren in their dreams a la Freddy Krueger.

 

"Homer3" (a.k.a "Homer Cubed"): Homer hides behind the bookcase to escape Patty and Selma visiting, and ends up in the fabled (in their universe) third dimension.

Best Quotes:

 

Homer: Hello? Yes? (opens door and sees Lard Lad) Oh, it's you… Uh, if you're looking for that donut of yours, um… Flanders has it. Go smash open his house.

(Homer shuts the door as Lard Lad leaves.)

Homer: (to himself) He came to life… Good for him.

(Loud smashing is heard, then loud thumping and the doorbell; Homer opens the door and sees Lard Lad again.)

Ned: (runs past) Help me, Lord!

Homer: I told you! Flanders has it! …Or Moe. Go kill Moe.

Marge: Homer! Give him the donut! Once he has it, it will be the end of all this horror!

Homer: Well, okay… If it will end horror…

 

 

91ST:

 

S6E6-

 

Treehouse of Horror V

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In this, the fifth Treehouse of Horror (and the first one to not have a framing device and the last one to have Marge's viewer advisory introduction and the funny tombstones), The Simpsons house-sit for Mr. Burns and Homer comes down with a nasty case of murderous cabin fever in "The Shinning", Homer's attempt at fixing the toaster takes him back in time where anything he does in the past affects the future in "Time and Punishment", and the Springfield Elementary School staff resort to cannibalizing the students as a means to solve their food budget and class overcrowding crises in "Nightmare Cafeteria".

Best Quotes:

 

Marge: Homer? Homie? Hmm. What he's typed will be a window into his madness. (Reads from the typewriter) "Feelin' fine." Well, that's a relief.

[a flash of lightning reveals "No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy" written all over the walls]

Marge: (terrified) Oooooooooh! (looks around) This is less encouraging...

Homer: (enters the room) Hello!

Marge: (screams)

Homer: What do you think, Marge? All I need is a title. I was thinking along the lines of "No TV and no beer make Homer... something something..."

Marge: (worried) Go crazy?

Homer: Don’t mind if I do! (Goes on a mad rant)

(Marge breaks open a case labelled "Break glass in case of spousal insanity" and grabs the baseball bat within)

Marge: Stay away from me, Homer!

Homer: (chasing Marge up some stairs) Give me the bat, Marge. Gimme the bat. Come on. Gimme the bat. Gimme the bat! (makes scary face and laughs) Dirty cat! Bleaahhh... (Makes another scary face, then sees himself in a mirror, shrieks and falls down the stairs, knocking himself out)

[Marge leaves unconscious Homer locked in a pantry]

Marge: You stay here until you're no longer insane. Hmm, chili would be good tonight.

[some time later]

Moe: (knocks on outside of the pantry door) Homer? It's Moe. Listen, some of the other ghouls and I are a little concerned the project isn't moving forward.

Homer: Can't murder now. Eating.

Moe: Oh, for crying out loud!

Moe and the other ghouls open the pantry door and drag Homer out by his feet

 

Homer: (Homer chops into a room) Heeeere's Johnny!

(camera pulls back to reveal empty room)

Homer: D'oh!

(chops into another room)

Homer: Daaaaavid Letterman!

Grampa: Hi David, I'm Grampa.

Homer: D'oh!

(chops down another door)

Homer: (holding a ticking stopwatch) I'm Mike Wallace, I'm Morley Safer, and I'm Ed Bradley! All this and Andy Rooney tonight on 60 Minutes!

Family: (run off screaming)

Homer: (screams)

(He sneezes; the T-Rex sniffles, then collapses. The dinosaur next to it sniffles, then collapses. A big line of dinosaurs to drop dead in this way)

Homer: This is gonna cost me...

(Arriving back in the present, he notices the layout of the house has changed so he is richer)

Homer: D'oh! I mean, hey...

Bart: Good morning, Father dear. Hope you're well.

Lisa: Are we taking the new Lexus to Aunt Patty and Selma's funeral today?

Homer: Hmm, fabulous house, well-behaved kids, sisters-in-law dead, luxury sedan... whoo hoo! I hit the jackpot. (sits down) Marge, dear, would you kindly pass me a donut?

Marge: Donut? What's a donut?

(Homer screams and runs downstairs and disappears back into time; outside the window, donuts start falling from the sky)

Marge: Hmm... it's raining again.

 

(Skinner turns a giant food processor on to "gooify" and backs the children towards it)

Bart: Don't worry, guys. Something always comes along to save us.

(Milhouse falls off the edge into the blender)

Bart: (to Lisa) Uh, nevertheless, I remain confident that something will come along and save the two Simpson children...

Bart and Lisa are forced into the blender.

90TH

 

S613-

 

And Maggie Makes Three

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lisa wonders why there aren't any photos of Maggie in the family album. Homer answers by telling the story of how he had to give up his dream job when Maggie was born.

Best Quotes:

 

Homer: Hey, what's this? It looks like you're "showering" Marge with gifts. With tiny, little, baby-sized gifts... oh, well, I'll be in the tub.

Maude Flanders: Oh, by the way, congratulations on your new job, Homer.

Homer: New job... MARGE IS PREGNANT?

[pulls out the few remaining hairs on his head]

Homer: NOOOOOOO!

[He runs upstairs, shrieking hysterically]

 

Homer: [praying]Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever.

[brief pause]

Homer: Thy bidding will be done.

[munch munch munch]

 

Bart: Wow, Dad, you really threw a tantrum like a little sissy girl?

Homer: Oh, just that one time.

Marge Simpson: Actually, when I was about to have Bart...

[cut to Marge telling Homer]Homer: You're pregnant?

[shrieks, points at Marge's stomach, rips out most of his hair, and runs up to the bedroom, still shreiking]

Marge Simpson: And then, when I told him about Lisa...

[cut to Marge telling Homer with Bart watching]

Homer: You're pregnant again?

[repeats the act, except ripping all of his hair out before running upstairs]

89TH-

 

S419-

 

The Front

 

 

After watching a terrible episode of The Itchy & Scratchy Show, Bart and Lisa agree they can write better episodes themselves, but when they get rejected by Roger Meyers, Jr., the pair use Grampa Simpson's real name (Abraham J. Simpson) to be taken more seriously, leading Grampa to be hired as an I&S writer. Meanwhile, Homer and Marge go to their high school reunion, and Homer must go back so he can pass remedial science 1-A

Best Quotes:

 

 

Lisa: It's so sad that Krusty is ashamed of his roots.

Homer walks into the living room with a plunger on his head

Homer: Marge, it happened again!

Bart: What are you going to change your name to when you grow up?

Lisa: Lois Sanborne.

Bart: Steve Bennett.

 

Grampa: Well, whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answer to all the important questions.

 

 

88TH:

 

S623

 

The Springfield Connection

 

 

After nearly getting attacked by Snake in an alley after exposing his three-card monte scam, Marge gets a much-needed surge of adrenaline in her hum-drum life and decides to join the Springfield Police Force, which unsettles Homer (until he takes unfair advantage of being the husband of a female cop)

Best Quotes:

 

Marge: I got a report on a domestic disturbance at this address.

Seymour Skinner: Yes, indeed there is. There's an inflatable bath pillow that Mother and I both enjoy. She claimed it was her day to use it. I said she was mistaken. We quarreled. Later, as I prepared to bathe I noticed, to my horror, that someone had slashed the pillow.

Marge: Who called the police?

Seymour and Agnes Skinner: We both did.

 

 

Homer: (gasps) A counterfeit jean ring operating out of my carhole! I'm gonna tell everyone. Wait here.

Herman: (cocks gun) Not so fast.

Homer: Ok... (walks slower)

Herman: Maybe you should just stop entirely. ----Homer: Marge! (Homer is pulled into the treehouse by Herman, Marge pursues)

Bart and Lisa: (watching from the window) Go get him mom!

Marge: Go back to bed. Don't make me come up there. (Bart and Lisa groan, then Bart turns the light off, but they continue to watch)

Herman: Looks like your wife is embarking up the wrong tree. (aims gun at entrance)

Marge: Freeze! Every mother knows the secret entrance to her son's treehouse. (knocks Herman over, disarming him)

Homer: Oh, Marge, you saved my life! I'm sorry I teased you. You are a really good cop. I'm proud of you.

Herman: So long, gotta catch the 5:01. (Uses counterfeit jeans to slide down a rope)

Homer: He's getting away, you blew it Marge.

Marge: I don't think so. (the jeans rip)

Herman: Oh, foiled by my own shoddy merchandise!

 

87TH:

 

S2E1-

 

Bart Gets An F

 

 

 

After fumbling through his book report on Treasure Island, Bart is ordered to study hard and pass his upcoming history exam — or he'll be in the fourth grade for another year.

Best Quotes:

 

Lisa: Everybody knows you are faking it.

Bart: Well, everybody had better keep their mouth shut!

Lisa: You cannot run away from your responsibilities forever. You are bound to fail that test sooner or later.

Bart: I got my bases covered.

 

Edna Krabappel {aged:} The topic is world literature. Let us start with Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson. Can anyone tell me the name of the pirate... Bart Simpson Senior?

[bart is now a full-grown man]Bart Simpson Senior: Ah, lady, come on. My kid has the chicken pox, my wife has been nagging me for a new car and I need a root canal. So can you please cut me some slack and stop asking me for the name of that stupid pirate?

[bart Simpson Junior (who bears an uncanny resemblance to his father at that age) is seated next to his father, and is presumably a more serious student.]

Bart Simpson Junior: [whispering] Long John Silver, Dad!

 

Bart: Woo hoo! A snow day! Last one out is a rotten egg!

[bart is stopped by Lisa.]Lisa: I heard you praying last night. You asked God to make it so that He would close the school and He did. I do not know much about the existence of God, but I do know this; He is a force more powerful than Mom and Dad put together and you owe Him big.