86TH-

 

S322:

 

The Otto Show

 

 

After going to a Spinal Tap concert, Bart is fired up to be a rock star, but can't seem to master the electric guitar. Meanwhile, Otto ends up living with The Simpsons after losing his job (following a school bus crash and admitting to Principal Skinner and the local police that he somehow got a school bus driving job despite never getting a driver's license), failing his driver's test, and getting evicted from his apartment.

Best Quotes:

 

 

Skinner: It's a miracle nobody was hurt.

Otto: I stand on my record. Fifteen crashes and not a single fatality.

 

 

 

85TH-

 

S624:

 

Lemon of Troy

 

 

 

Marge catches Bart writing his name in wet cement and lectures him on town pride. Her method of repeating herself during the speech causes her words to stick in Bart's mind and he soon begins to learn more about the City of Springfield. Bart soon comes across Milhouse, who is selling lemonade. When the supply runs out, Milhouse takes Bart to the town's beloved lemon tree. As Bart remarks how great Springfield is, they encounter some kids from Shelbyville, Springfield's neighboring town. After a brief verbal bout, the kids from Shelbyville leave. The Springfield kids then notice Grandpa Simpson, who tells them the story about the lemon tree. The land the lemon tree was planted on was where town founders Jebediah Springfield and Shelbyville Manhattan first settled. However, Shelbyville was adamant that he live in a town that gave a person the right to marry their cousins. This did not sit well with Jebediah and each man took settlers and formed their own respective towns.

 

The citizens of Springfield planted the lemon tree, since lemons were the sweetest fruit available at that time. Sometime afterwards, the boys return to the lemon tree, only to find it has been stolen, with some tracks leading right into Shelbyville. Bart, Milhouse, Nelson, Martin, Todd, and Database head to Shelbyville to get the tree back. When Marge finds out what Bart is up to, she gets Homer and several other parents to go to Shelbyville and find them with Homer insisting Ned Flanders drive them in his RV. Throughout the journey, neither party knows that the other is there.

 

The boys eventually find the tree, but it's in the car-impound lot being guarded by the Shelbyvillian boys. When the parents eventually find the kids, Bart tells them what happened and Homer demands Shelby's Father, the owner of the impound lot return the tree. His request is laughingly refuted and everyone begins to return to Springfield. Bart soon hatches a plot. Bart tells Flanders to illegally park his RV, which then gets impounded. After a close call, they take the lemon tree back to Springfield. In the aftermath, old men in both Springfield and Shelbyville provide their own endings to the tale.

 

In Springfield, Grandpa tells of the triumphant return of the tree by the 'heroes of Springfield', to which Bart and Milhouse celebrate with a glass of lemonade (from a few drops of lemon juice, and a whole lot of sugar). In Shelbyville, an old man claims a triumphant banishment of the old lemon tree by 'the heroes of Shelbyville', claiming the old lemon tree was banished because it was haunted. He and several other children then drink some turnip juice, which has a sour taste.

 

[best Quotes:[/b]

 

 

84TH-

 

S5E14-

 

Lisa vs Malibu Stacy

 

 

 

 

The episode begins at the Grand Opening for the Center for Geriatric Medicine where Dr. Hibbert introduces a frail Ben Matlock to a crowd of excited seniors. But after seeing his idol mobbed to the ground by fans, Abe becomes aware, perhaps fearful, of his future death and gives the family their inheritances early: To Lisa he leaves his lifetime collection of correspondence, most seemingly by telegraph, while he leaves to Homer and his family a box of old silver dollars. The family leaves to spend them at the mall right away.

 

At the mall, Lisa sees a number of girls mobbing a Malibu Stacy display in a toy store. She warns Marge that she may get a little crazy, then rushes the display, shoving aside everyone in her path. A few moments later, a stockboy begins putting out the new Talking Malibu Stacy doll, and the mob shifts its attention to the new toy.

 

Throughout the trip, Abe won't stop telling stories and spouting useless advice, and getting shunned by the family. He appeals to Homer for help, and while on the couch he sees an ad for Buzz Cola with dancing, scantily-clad seniors on a beach, inspiring him. Then he plans to drink the Buzz Cola Homer is drinking, but upon the drink touching his mouth, it burns his tongue and desperately tries to get some water.

 

Lisa is anxious to hear what Talking Malibu Stacy has to say, but is disappointed with her sexist phrases (see quotes). "Right on, say it sister!" says an eavesdropping Bart, launching Lisa into a tirade decrying sexist attitudes and their effect on young girls. Bart then claims that he was going to say the same thing. Lisa, in frustration hurls the doll through the window, which gets caught in the spokes of a bicycle Grampa is riding, causing him to fall off his bike and land in an open grave (which he finds comfortable).

 

Lisa is furious that no one else, even her friends and family, can see the ridiculousness of the doll. She calls the company to complain, and after getting some resistance from Marge who wishes she wouldn't complain so much, she signs up for the factory tour. There she sees assembly lines and a video detailing the doll's history, as well as the sexist inner workings of the company.

 

Lisa and Grampa sit at the iamspamspamamitable, bemoaning how they are treated because of their age. In walks Homer, saying how glad he is to be a white male, aged 18–49 (everyone listens to him, no matter how stupid the ideas). Grampa plans to get a job, and Lisa chooses to find Malibu Stacy's creator.

 

Lisa visits Smithers, owner of the world's biggest Malibu Stacy collection and asks for help in finding Stacy Lovelle, the doll's creator. She bikes to Stacy Lovell's house (built exactly like Malibu Stacey's dream house), she says she wants Ms. Lovell to hear what Stacy is telling a generation of young girls and plays the doll's phrases over the intercom... the gate immediately opens.

 

Lisa and Stacy Lovell agree to create a new talking doll, Lisa Lionheart, voiced by Lisa herself and complete with her own encouraging phrases. The doll is quietly released, and even Kent Brockman (at the request of his daughter), spends his entire newscast talking about the doll, ignoring breaking news that the President was arrested for murder. However, the creators of Malibu Stacy view Lisa's doll as a real threat, and plan to sink Lisa Lionheart.

 

In the meantime, Grampa struggles at Krusty Burger, suffering a war flashback at the drive-in and losing his false teeth while making burgers. He soon gets complaints from his fellow seniors and then Grampa realizes that God makes them old for one reason: complaining about young people. He then quits and gets carried off by his fellow geriatrics before they crumble to the floor.

 

On the day the doll is officially released, numerous young girls (and Smithers) rush into the toy store at the Springfield Mall to buy Lisa Lionheart. As Lisa and Stacy watch, a cart of "new" Malibu Stacy dolls is wheeled right into the path of the group running for the Lisa display. Lisa appeals to them that it's just the same doll with a cheap new hat, but they all prefer to stick with Malibu Stacy (largely due to a phrase from Smithers, "but she's got a new hat!")... except for one little girl, who leaves with a Lisa Lionheart doll. Lisa remarks that even though they didn't sell out of the dolls, if the doll makes one little girl happy, it'll all be worth it. Stacy agrees, and mutters under her breath, 'as long as that girl spends $46,000 on that doll.'

Best Quotes:

 

 

Brittany Brockman: My new doll is much better than Malibu Stacy. Do a newscast about her.

Kent Brockman: Ho ho, please, honey, Daddy's job is to bring people important news. Right now I'm busy preparing a report about the 40th anniversary of Beetle Bailey.

Brittany Brockman: Oh, Daddy, that is boring. Talk about the dolly!

Kent Brockman: Well, you were right about the Berlin Wall.

 

83RD-

 

S6E11

 

Fear of Flying

 

 

 

At Moe's Tavern, the patrons pull a series of hazardous pranks on Moe (planting a venomous snake in the cash register and setting his alcohol-soaked clothes on fire), which he laughs off. Homer, however, pulls a harmless prank (unscrewing the sugar shaker top and causing it to spill on the bar) and gets banned. Rather than stay home and reconnect with his family, Homer decides to find a new bar at which to drink. The first one (a refined cocktail bar) politely asks him to leave. The next one, the bar from the long-running NBC sitcom, Cheers (complete with most of the actors voicing their characters from that show), seems like a good fit, until Homer sees Norm Peterson (George Wendt's character) break a bottle and threaten to kill Woody Boyd (Woody Harrelson's character) for cutting him off for being drunk (which bartenders are legally required to do), with Cliff Clavin (John Ratzenberger's character) and Dr. Fraiser Crane (normally played by Kelsey Grammer on the actual show, but Grammer didn't voice his character in this scene) holding Norm back and telling him to save his strength for karaoke (Norm then cries on Cliff's and Dr. Crane's shoulders, saying that he loves them while the Cheers theme plays). The third bar, The She-She Lounge, is a lesbian bar, but, Homer rejects it after noticing that it doesn't have a fire exit (and one of the patrons mistakes Homer for a lesbian).

 

Homer eventually settles for an airline pilots' bar, where he is mistaken for a pilot and despite his vehement protests is put in the cockpit of an airplane, which he promptly wrecks. In exchange for his silence about their mistake, the airline gives the Simpson family free tickets to anywhere in the United States of America, except for the "freak states", Alaska and Hawaii.

 

The idea of plane travel fills Marge with anxiety because she has a fear of flying. After several failed attempts to avoid the trip, she has a panic attack on the plane and the trip is postponed, whilst Grampa is left behind on the plane. To conquer Marge's phobia, Homer rents fiction films with airplane themes. This backfires when one film shows the survivors of a plane crash surviving by eating the dead crew and passengers.

 

When Marge shows signs of lingering flight-related trauma, manifesting as compulsions to perform household chores either at night or to an excessive degree, Lisa convinces her to undergo psychotherapy with Dr. Zweig. Homer is highly paranoid of this, believing that Dr. Zweig will identify him as a problem and convince Marge to leave him. She uncovers the roots of Marge's fear: the moment she discovered her father was not a pilot, but a flight attendant. Her shame is eased when Zweig assures her that male flight attendants are now very common, and that her father could be considered a pioneer. Marge also remembers other flying-related accidents that caused her fear, which include getting accidentally hit in the eye with an "airplane" spoon by her grandmother as an infant, riding an airplane scooter that caught fire, and being taken to a cornfield where she and her mother were attacked by a plane; Zweig dismisses these events, declaring that they are "part of a rich tapestry" before turning her attention to Homer. Before she can say anything, Homer appears and quickly rushes Marge out of Zweig's office.

 

Thinking she has finally conquered her fear of flying, Marge boards a plane with Homer. The plane skids off the runway and lands in a body of water.

 

Best Quotes:

 

 

Ooh I forgot aboot this!!! I wonder if the Bond episode wins. Ieonically, one of rhe best ones, if not THE best, is the one away from Springfield!!!

82ND-

 

S410

 

Lisa's First Word

 

 

 

 

When Homer, Marge, Bart and Lisa unsuccessfully try to get Maggie to speak, Marge tells the family the story of when Lisa said her first word. Bart asks Marge his first word and a flashback is shown: Homer and Marge were having sex when baby Bart opens the door causing him to shout "Ay, Caramba!" in surprise. Marge then begins telling the story by describing the spring of 1983 as a time when "Ms. Pac-Man struck a blow for women's rights." It's March of 1983, and the Simpson family (minus Lisa and Maggie) originally lived in an apartment complex on the Lower East Side of Springfield. Homer comes home from work singing "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" when Bart happily runs up to his father shouting "Homer." Homer asks Bart to call him "Daddy" but Bart mischievously calls Homer "Dohmer" causing Homer to get outraged and shout his usual catchphrase "Why you little--!" and strangle Bart.

 

One day, after Bart flushes Homer's wallet down the toilet, Marge reveals to them that she is expecting another baby, which leads to Bart imagining a new brother who he can use as a scapegoat for his own horrible behavior, such as writing on the walls, using his tricycle to jump a ramp which happens to lean on the baby, and using the baby to clean up the table when he spills his milk. Marge later points out to Homer that with another baby on the way, they're probably going to need a bigger place. After talking to a real estate agent, who explains that the only houses that Homer and Marge can afford are in a neighborhood known as "The Rat's Nest," they go house hunting while having Marge's older sisters, Patty and Selma, babysit Bart. Homer and Marge try to look for houses, including a houseboat that Captain McAllister has until now. After unsuccessful attempts, the family finds a house on Evergreen Terrace and buy it with a $15,000 down payment from the sale of Grampa's house. Homer promises Grampa he can live with them as thanks for his gesture, only to put him in the retirement home after just a few weeks.

 

In 1984, the Simpsons move into their new Evergreen Terrace home, After Homer strangle Bart again for calling Homer instead of "Daddy", the Flanders family introducing themselves as their new neighbors. Ned Flanders has just bought a TV tray from the hardware store, and Homer agrees to borrow the tray from him (eight years later, in the present, the tray is still in the Simpsons' living room). Bart turns two-years-old, and for the first time, he watches Krusty the Clown, as well as Itchy & Scratchy. Krusty does a promotion for the 1984 Summer Olympic Games with his Krusty Burger chain, which is the "Official Meat-Flavored Sandwich of the 1984 Olympics." The promotion offers scratch-and-win game cards in which people can scrape off the name of the event from the game card, and if the U.S. wins a gold medal, that person wins a free Krusty Burger. Krusty's accountant assures him that the cards are rigged, "all in events that Communists never lose", but the Soviet Union boycotts the Olympics, and with this, the USA easily dominates every event. Krusty's accountant gloomily revises his estimate of what the promotion will cost him personally, from zero to $44 million. On the air, Krusty angrily says he will personally spit in every 50th burger. Homer, however, finds those odds to be really acceptable, and continues getting a steady supply of free Krusty Burgers from redeeming his winning game cards along with the hundreds of other Springfielders lining up for miles outside the Krusty Burger restaurant.

 

Bart is forced to give up his crib for the new baby--Homer ends up building Bart a new bed shaped like a clown, however it is so badly designed it ends up scaring Bart to the point he daren't go to sleep in case the clown eats him. While watching TV, Marge goes into labor and Homer drives her to the hospital--Bart stays with the Flanders family until his parents come home from the hospital with the new baby. After Lisa's born, Homer's happy to have a daughter while Marge points out to her husband that, after reading a parenting magazine, Bart may end up being jealous of Lisa. After finally meeting his new sister, Bart decides that he hates Lisa. Bart starts to become jealous of Lisa getting all the attention, and plays various pranks on her--such as shaving her head bald, sticking a bunch of stamps on her and putting her in a mailbox, and even shoving her through the Flanders' doggy door (he gets a timeout for each one). He accuses Lisa of ruining his life and is about to run away, until she says her first word, "Bart." Bart discovers that Lisa can talk and is overjoyed that he is her first word, and Marge remarks that Lisa adores Bart. She can even say "David Hasselhoff," "Mommy," and "Homer" but not "Daddy," much to her father's annoyance. After this, Bart hugs Lisa for the very first time, and seems to appreciate her more from then on.

 

However, back in the present day, the flashback ends and Bart and Lisa are fighting. Homer takes Maggie upstairs and tucks her in, saying that "the sooner kids talk, the sooner they talk back," and that he hopes that Maggie never says a word. When he leaves her bedroom, Maggie removes her pacifier and (unheard by the rest of the family) says her first word, "Daddy" just before she falls asleep.

Best Quotes:

 

 

Grampa: All right, son, I'll sell this dump and write you a check.

Homer: Dad, first you gave me life, now you've given me a home for my family, I'd be honored if you came to live with us.

Grampa: Thank you!

Bart: [in the present] So how long before you shipped Grampa off to the old-folks home?

Homer: About three weeks.

 

81ST-

 

S321

 

Black Widower

 

 

 

The Simpsons are having dinner with Selma and her new boyfriend, but it turns out it is Bart's adversary, Sideshow Bob. During dinner, he tells the story of his terrible time at the prison. He wins an Emmy that gets taken away and tells that he wanted to kill Bart, but also that he changed. Then he tells the story of how he and Selma met, which was during a prison pen-pal program. He supposedly turns a new leaf after he met Selma. He is then released from the prison, and the story ends. Bart refuses to believe that Bob has gone good. Then Bob asks Selma to marry him, and she eagerly accepts his proposal.

 

Sideshow Bob makes an appearance in the Krusty telethon, and he tells Krusty that there are no hard feelings. Bart is terrified of his soon-to-be new uncle, since Bob swore he would get revenge on Bart for having him sent to prison for framing Krusty for armed robbery, and he would never trust him. The wedding is almost canceled when Bob admits that he hates Selma's favorite show, MacGyver, but is saved by Homer when he mentions that when Marge watches her shows, he goes for a walk or drinks some beers and comes back still in love.

 

During the wedding, everyone is happy except Bart. During the honeymoon, while MacGyver is on, Sideshow Bob tries to kill Selma, but his plan is ruined by Bart, who makes a "stinkin'" discovery, as Bob referred to it. Bob is taken away by the police, vowing to return once the Democrats return to power. After that, everyone thanks Bart for not losing his mistrust of Sideshow Bob.

Best Quotes:

 

Sideshow Bob: Bart, I must know. How did you untangle my web?

Chief Wiggum: Yeah, Bart, tow us in!

Bart: Well, I'd hate to tell the number one cop in town how to do his job.

Chief Wiggum: No, no, please. It's the only way I'll learn.

 

 

Patty: Aunt Selma has this crazy obsession about not dying alone. So in desperation, she joined this prison pen-pal program. Her new sweetie's a jailbird.

Bart: Coooool! He can teach us how to kill a man with a lunchtray!

 

 

80TH-

 

S1E7

 

The Call of The Simpsons

 

 

 

The episode begins with Homer and Bart outside doing yard work when Ned Flanders pulls up in his brand new RV and gloats to Homer and Bart. In an effort to try to keep up with Ned, Homer takes the family to Bob's RV Round-Up in search of an RV of their own. Bob the RV salesman comes out and introduces Homer to an RV called the Ultimate Behemoth, and gives the family a tour. During the tour Homer and the kids express their awe of the RV, whereas Marge worries about the cost and is constantly ignored by Bob when she asks for the price tag on the RV, presumably aware that she knows her family can't afford it. Convinced in wanting to buy the RV to one up Flanders, Homer asks him for the price. Bob takes him into the office and goes over the rules. He reveals that though he owns the place, Bob still has to run a credit check on his computer for business and security protocol before they can proceed with the deal for the Ultimate Behemoth. A siren alerts him, but Homer assumes its sound means he has been approved. However, Bob tells Homer that he's been rejected and it was the computer's way of warning the owner not to proceed with the deal. It turns out the Ultimate Behemoth is out of Homer's price range due to his poor credit rating. In desperation, he begs Bob to show him an RV that isn't out of his price range and says he doesn't want to go home empty handed. So, he shows Homer the most run down, beaten up, and smallest RV on the lot. Marge, Lisa and Bart shows their disapproval of the RV as it is too used and dilapidated. They attempt to get him to refuse and leave empty handed. However, Homer ignores his family's warning and gives into Bob's pressure in buying the dilapidated RV.

 

Later, after loading up their "brand new" RV Homer gloats to Flanders about his purchase and the Simpson family head out on an excursion to go camping. On the way, Homer makes an unwise decision to take a less beaten path instead of staying on the interstate. Marge suspects something is wrong and advises Homer to stop and turn back. However, he ignores Marge when she suggests they look at the map or stopping for directions. Calling his RV an all-terrain-vehicle and much to the worry of everyone else, Homer plows through a forest and chooses to stop randomly in the middle of nowhere. When the RV finally comes to a screeching halt, it ends up teetering over a precipice. The Simpsons bail out of the RV and it plummets over the edge and explodes at the bottom.

 

The family is now left with nothing but the clothes on their backs and they are lost in the middle of the forest. Homer tells everyone to relax because he is "an experienced woodsman" (Yeah right, Homer). He then builds a makeshift shelter for Marge, Lisa and Maggie, and takes Bart along with him to find help. Marge and Lisa watch as Maggie follows behind Homer and Bart; however, they are not aware of Maggie behind them. When Homer and Bart hear Maggie sucking on her pacifier they think it is a rattle snake and take off running scared leaving Maggie far behind. Homer and Bart then stumble through some brush and end up falling off another cliff and into a raging river below. Meanwhile, Marge and Lisa seem to be just fine. They are tidying up their camp and have built a much better shelter for themselves. It seems that Marge and Lisa are more experienced in camping than Homer is. Cut to Maggie who has been left all alone, a bear approaches her on its hind legs and roars; Maggie unafraid sticks an extra pacifier in the bear's mouth which calms the bear down. After Homer and Bart fall down a waterfall Homer sees Bart's lucky cap float by and assumes Bart has drowned, but is relieved to see Bart alive and they both realize they are now naked after falling over the waterfall. Back to Maggie, who is being carried by the bear back to its cave where she is accepted as one of the group by three other bears. Meanwhile, Homer and Bart look for food after clothing themselves with shrubbery. Homer's attempts at catching rabbits for food fail. Back to Maggie, the bears find another family of campers and steal things from their site, like a bottle and baby toys and bring them back to Maggie. Meanwhile it is nighttime and Marge and Lisa have made themselves a fire and get ready for bed, while miles away Homer and Bart shiver without a fire and try to go to sleep and Maggie is sleeping warmly with her new family of bears.

 

The next morning Homer and Bart look for food and come across a bee hive. When Homer steals some honey the bees attack him, but he evades them and jumps into a muddy stream where a naturalist cameraman is filming footage of a deer. The cameraman runs off scared after seeing Homer covered in mud and screaming incoherently due to the big glob of honey still in his mouth. Cut to a breaking news report claiming the existence of Bigfoot and using the footage of Homer as proof. A $5,000 reward is offered for "Bigfoot's" capture. The next day at the edge of the forest Bigfoot mania has set in, people are selling Bigfoot memorabilia and the press is everywhere covering the event. Marge and Lisa, who have been found by a park ranger, are surprised to see all the excitement and they realize it is Homer and not Bigfoot everyone is after. Meanwhile, Homer (still covered with mud) and Bart accidentally come across the bear cave with Maggie inside. Just before the bears are about to maul Homer and Bart, Maggie communicates to the bears that it is okay. Homer takes Maggie back and along with Bart they wander back out into the woods. After awhile Homer is spotted in the forest by hunters looking for Bigfoot and is shot with a tranquilizer gun. After being tested and studied Homer is released to go back home. Dr. Marvin Monroe announces at a press conference that the evidence is inconclusive as to whether or not Homer is Bigfoot. Homer and Marge watch the press conference just before going to bed and Marge consoles a crestfallen Homer, who is worried about the teasing he is going to receive at work.

Best Quotes:

 

Homer: Avenge me, son. Avenge my death.

 

German Scientist: This much I believe we can agree upon: this specimen is either a below-average human being or...a brilliant beast.

(Marge and Homer are in bed, watching the report on TV. Marge turns the TV off)

Homer: Boy, the guys at the plant are going to have a field day with this one.

Marge: I am sorry this happened. Good night, my...brilliant beast!

Lisa: Remember, Dad, the handle of the Big Dipper points to the North Star.

Homer: (chuckles) That's nice, Lisa, but we're not in astronomy class. We're in the woods.

 

 

79TH-

 

S4E5

 

Treehose of Horror III

 

 

 

In a spoof of the opening to Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Homer tells viewers that the following episode might be too scary, and may give children nightmares. He then goes on a rant about how there are some crybaby viewers (religious types, mostly) who might be offended over the show and urges sensitive viewers out there to turn off the show if they so choose. He then mocks them by calling them chickens and gets the screen shut off. Over the black screen, Marge asks Homer if he called the viewers chickens. Homer denies it and backs it up by swearing on a Bible...until Marge points out that Homer has a book of carpet samples.

 

The opening goes through a graveyard, with headstones that show that Drexell's Class, R. Buckminster Fuller, Slapstick, and American Workmanship are all dead. We then see the first Halloween-themed couch gag, where The Simpsons are all skeletons running and sitting on the couch.

 

The Simpsons are having a Halloween party. Homer (dressed as Julius Caesar) gets his toga ripped off, causing the kids to laugh at him. Martin prances in as Calliope, the Muse of Heroic Poetry, which makes Nelson (dressed as a pirate) punch him in the stomach. Bart (dressed as Alex DeLarge from the movie version of A Clockwork Orange) grouses over not going out trick-or-treating. Marge (dressed as Cleopatra VII) gathers everyone around a circle for a party game in which everyone passes around various food items (such as peeled grapes, cold spaghetti, and a raw steak) pretending they're the body parts of a dead witch. Unfortunately, a gluttonous Homer (who is inexplicably in his normal clothes) ruins the game for everyone by eating everything, saying that it was an evil game. Not sure what to do, Marge asks if anyone has a scary story to tell and Lisa (dressed as The Statue of Liberty) says that she has the story of boy and a doll from Hell.

 

In a parody of the Twilight Zone episode "Living Doll", as well as the Child’s Play franchise, Bart is celebrating his birthday and has obtained multiple good presents and Grandpa's social security money. Unfortunately, Homer forgets to get a present and rushes out to buy a gift for his birthday. Homer buys Bart a talking Krusty doll at 'House of Evil' (your one-stop Evil gift shop) which also sells frozen yogurt called "frogurt".

 

Although the doll is nice to Bart, it repeatedly tries to kill Homer (which no one believes except for Grampa) and hits on Lisa's Malibu Stacy doll. Homer captures the evil Krusty in a bag of dirty socks, which he then locks in a suitcase. He disposes of the suitcase in a "Bottomless Pit" (the same one used by a mafioso getting rid of a body and a random man trying to get rid of a box of Whoopi Goldberg's nude photos), and returns home, not realising that the doll has somehow escaped from the suitcase and managed to follow him. As the doll attempts to drown Homer in Santa's Little Helper's water dish, Marge calls KrustyCo for help. A repairman arrives and discovers that the doll has been accidentally switched from "Good" to "Evil." He flips the switch back to "Good" and Homer, after forgiving the doll for trying to murder him, uses the doll as a servant. The Krusty doll laments to his "girlfriend" Malibu Stacy, with whom he shares Lisa's dollhouse, "Oh, what a day. Homer made me give him a sponge bath!" However, the scene finishes happily as Krusty gives Stacy a smooch on the cheek—until her head falls off.

 

The scene cuts back to the living room, where Homer tries to tell the story of a man who was killed by his beautiful dead wife, but the story bores the kids and turns out to be completely nonsensical, as Homer didn't mention that the man's wife was dead and that the man was killed by a golf club because he went golfing all the time and the wife didn't like it, when really, the man who died went bowling. Grampa criticizes Homer's story, saying that he's coughed up scarier stuff than that. Bart suggests that Grampa tells a story since he has, "lived an interesting life". Grampa dismisses Bart's claim, but remarks that he has seen a lot of movies.

 

The scene transitions into a black and white segment parodying the original 1933 version of the iconic "beauty-meets-beast" monster film King Kong, Marge joins Mr. Burns and Smithers on an expedition to "Ape Island" to find the legendary "King Homer". Upon arriving at the island, Burns betrays Marge and uses her as bait to attract the giant ape. When King Homer does arrive, he kills off a good portion of Mr. Burns' crew. Burns' attempts to sedate the ape with a gas bomb only succeeds in gassing himself, so Smithers tosses the grenade, finally sedating the King Homer. With the ape in his custody, Mr. Burns returns to America and presents King Homer to the press on Broadway. The photographers' camera flashes enrage King Homer, who breaks free from his restraints. He abducts Marge and wreaks havoc, stepping on and eating many people in the process, including Shirley Temple performing "On The Good Ship Lollipop" on Broadway. He attempts to climb the Empire State Building but is unable to get even one story above the ground. King Homer collapses in exhaustion, and Marge helpfully suggests that he eat more vegetables and fewer people. In the end, King Homer and Marge marry on the same day Dick Cavett is born (November 19, 1936). The story finishes with the wedding, and King Homer eating Marge's father Clancy Bouvier, although Marge brushes it off as being cute.

 

Marge enters the living room with a bowl of fresh fruit in place of candy, much to the disappointment of the guests. A headless man enters the house and everybody starts screaming. However, it turns out just to be Ned Flanders wearing a headless zombie costume. Bart commends Ned for his prank, but then remarks that he has a story so scary that people will wet their pants (only for Grampa to tell him that he's too late, to everyone's disgust).

 

The story begins in class, where Bart presents his book report to the other students. His book of choice? An A to Z alphabet book for preschoolers. Ms. Krabappel informs him that the book is unacceptable as one for the report ant his grade and he'll have to start again from scratch. While in the school's library searching for material for a book report (he almost picks a "Where's Waldo?" book called "Find Waldo Yet Again", but the picture puzzle book series has lost its creative complexity as Waldo can easily be found on a beach with a little kid pointing to him), Bart notices the occult section and explores it. While in the section, he finds a book of magic and decides to use the book for his report.

 

Upon returning home, Bart tries to impress Lisa with the book, but she's uninterested as it's the four year anniversary of Snowball I's death (according to Lisa, Snowball I was run over by Mayor Quimby's beer-swilling brother, Clovis). In order to make Lisa happy, Bart takes her to the pet elementary and tries to revive Snowball for her but ends up casting the wrong spell and accidentally revives hundreds of human corpses into zombies instead. The zombies terrorise Springfield and curse trouble, turning several people, including Principal Skinner, Ned Flanders, Krusty the Clown, Sideshow Mel, Edna Krabappel, and the three bullies (Dolph, Jimbo, and Kearney), into zombies.

 

Meanwhile, the Simpson family has barricaded all the doors and windows except for the back door, which Homer completely forgot to do because he was watching TV. Several zombies break into the house. Homer tries to sacrifice himself to give the others time to escape, but the zombies don’t attack him when they realize he does not have enough brains for them to eat. Lisa realizes that the school library must have a book that can break the spell and send the zombies back to their graves. The family runs to the car under the protection of Homer’s shotgun. The Simpsons arrive at Springfield Elementary and burst through the doors until Homer wields a shotgun to kill such famous zombies including George Washington, Albert Einstein, and William Shakespeare. While their parents distract the horde, Bart and Lisa successfully make it to the occult section of the Springfield Elementary library. Bart finds another book of magic and casts the spell...that accidentally turns Lisa into a snail. Bart finds the correct spell and casts it upon the town, returning the zombies who were dead before the spell to their graves, and also curing all those who wore turn into zombies, some of the zombies drop dead in the streets and turning Lisa, who had been unaware of her change, back to normal. In the end, the family is back at home on the couch. Although Marge is glad they never became zombies, the family starts behaving like it, thanks to television and the mindless sitcoms it airs.

 

 

78TH-

 

S5E19

 

 

Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssssssssss Song

 

 

It is show-and-tell day at Springfield Elementary School, and almost every student has brought a rock - except for Nelson Muntz, who has brought his usual empty tomato paste can. In order to stand out, Bart brings his dog, Santa's Little Helper, to school. Everyone is excited to see the hound, but Santa's Little Helper has to be locked up in a closet afterwards. It isn't long before he makes his way into the air vents, where he is shortly observed by Ralph Wiggum. Groundskeeper Willie is covered in grease and sent into the vents and retrieves the dog, but Superintendent Chalmers shows up, furious after hearing about the dog. At first, Chalmers looks into Santa's Little Helper's eyes and forgives Skinner for what has happened, but after a falling Willie lands on Chalmers, this is the final straw. Chalmers fires Skinner on the spot, and Bart is left feeling guilty.

 

Skinner is at first at a loss for what to do, and in the meantime Ned Flanders becomes the new principal. However, he is completely lax with the rules, and the entire school breaks out in chaos, with the teachers terrified of leaving the Teacher's Lounge, riots breaking out and spreading cross-class, and even with Martin Prince locked in a cage as the class pet. Meanwhile, Skinner has rejoined the army but finds that discipline in the army isn't quite the same as it was when he was a 'Nam veteran.

 

Despite the chaos, Bart feels bad for Skinner, and plans to get Flanders fired. Superintendent Chalmers shows up to do another inspection of the school, and Bart tries to convince him to fire Flanders because of the chaos the kids can make with impunity. Chalmers hesitates, since he considers that all public schools will be headed this way, but then he hears Flanders ask the students to "thank the Lord" over the intercom, which infuriates Chalmers even more than the chaos, because promoting a religion in public school is illegal. Flanders is promptly fired and Skinner becomes principal again. Skinner and Bart know that they are no longer friends now that Skinner is principal again, but they decided to be friends their own way. So they say goodbye and walk off, feeling good about each other.

Best Quotes:

 

 

Ralph: Um, Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vent.

Miss Hoover: Ralph, remember the time you said Snagglepuss was outside?

Ralph: He was going to the bathroom.

 

Flanders: Bart, I've barely been here a good solid week, and you've been sent to my office 11 times. And now that I have peanut butter cups, you seem to be getting in trouble every hour.

Bart: [through a full mouth of peanut butter cups]Must have been a coincidence.

Flanders: Uh, anyhoo, Bart, you're going to have to be punished. This isn't some sort of clubhouse. [bart holds up an empty glass and rattles it] Oh, sorry. Were you drinking Slice or Yoo Hoo?

 

77TH-

 

S615:

 

Homie The Clown

 

 

 

Krusty's extravagant lifestyle is eating into his profits. Along with this, he owes money to the mob. His accountant informs him that he will be bankrupt in a month, and suggests opening up a clown college to train people to act as him for various events and functions.

 

A billboard of the new clown college catches Homer's eye, but he immediately dismisses it. Unable to get the images of clowns out of his head, resulting in a hallucination, he plans to enroll. After graduating, Homer shows up for various Krusty events, but soon tires of the prat falls and punchlines. Homer then finds that his similarity to Krusty allows people to assume he is the real clown, and ends up getting free stuff and kickbacks.

 

Meanwhile, Fat Tony demands Krusty pay them his debt, but Krusty goes to the bathroom and escapes. Tony, Legs and Louie see Homer attempting to purchase a vehicle, and try to shoot him but miss and end up shooting the car (which the car salesman refers to as "Speed Holes"). Then they take off to obtain more ammunition. While this is going on, Krusty goes to get plastic surgery done on his face, but instead Krusty received breasts. Later, they see Homer at his house making holes in his car due to what the car salesman said earlier. Legs tries to shoot him but ends up shooting Ned Flanders twice (but he was protected by his Bible and a piece of the cross he wore around his neck), and then the pickaxe that Homer is holding. The mob had only purchased three additional bullets, so they then kidnap Homer. On the way to the mobsters hide out, Homer protests he isn't Krusty and claims to be four other people (himself, Barney, Joe Valachi and Benedict Arnold), but unfortunately the mobsters have grudges against each of these men for various reasons.

 

Meanwhile, Fat Tony demands Krusty pay them his debt, but Krusty goes to the bathroom and escapes. Tony, Legs and Louie see Homer attempting to purchase a vehicle, and try to shoot him but miss and end up shooting the car (which the car salesman refers to as "Speed Holes"). Then they take off to obtain more ammunition. While this is going on, Krusty goes to get plastic surgery done on his face, but instead Krusty received breasts. Later, they see Homer at his house making holes in his car due to what the car salesman said earlier. Legs tries to shoot him but ends up shooting Ned Flanders twice (but he was protected by his Bible and a piece of the cross he wore around his neck), and then the pickaxe that Homer is holding. The mob had only purchased three additional bullets, so they then kidnap Homer. On the way to the mobsters hide out, Homer protests he isn't Krusty and claims to be four other people (himself, Barney, Joe Valachi and Benedict Arnold), but unfortunately the mobsters have grudges against each of these men for various reasons.

Best Quotes:

 

 

Homer: (gasp!) You mean I get 5% off on everything in the store just because I look like...?! I mean, just because I AM Krusty the Clown?

Apu: How could I charge full price to the man whose lust for filthy magazines kept me in business during that first shaky year? By the way, here is your new issue of Gigantic Asses.

 

76TH-

 

 

S3E23:

 

Bart's Friend Falls In Love

 

 

After a close encounter (Indiana Jones style), Bart manages to retrieve Homer's jar of change to take to school. Bart makes his way outside the house where Otto was waiting and boards the school bus leaving Homer shouting angrily at Bart as the school bus drives away. His best friend, Milhouse, is holding his Magic eight ball. Bart asks the ball whether he and Milhouse will still be friends by the end of the day, and the ball predicts 'no'. Both are puzzled by how this could happen.

 

A new girl from Phoenix called Samantha Stankey starts at Springfield Elementary School, and Milhouse falls in love with her. To Bart's dismay and anger, Samantha reciprocates, and the couple spend all of their free time kissing in Bart's treehouse. They ignore Bart, and he takes off, he soon tries hanging out with Martin but it doesn't work. When the couple goes to an alien movie, Bart joins them. Afterwards Bart suggests more fun ideas for them to do but Milhouse asks Bart to not spend time with him and Sammantha so much. Bart walks away angry but after going into an alley he starts crying. Seconds later, Milhouse asks Bart if they can still use his treehouse, Bart tells him no but changes his mind when Milhouse mentions that if Sammantha's dad catches her, he'll be furious.

 

Meanwhile, Lisa is watching a documentary on the health problems of obesity. She is fearful that Homer's obesity will lead to an early death. On Lisa's suggestion, Marge orders a subliminal weight-loss tape for Homer. Humorously enough, the company is out of the tapes and sends Homer a "Vocabulary Builder" tape instead. Homer ends up eating more than ever, but his vocabulary is through the roof. When he realizes that the tape is hopeless he gets rid of it, and his vocabulary quickly returns to normal.

 

In order to restore the previous status quo, Bart tells Samantha's father what's happening. Mr. Stankey rushes to Bart's treehouse and after seeing what happened takes her away before she can even explain. She is sent to Saint Sebastian's School for Wicked Girls, an all-girls convent school, never to see Milhouse again. After she leaves Bart thinks that everything will go back to normal right away says they should go to the arcade but Milhouse is in no mood for that as he is heartbroken. Overtime Milhouse remains depressed and Bart starts to feel guilty for his actions. After failing to get help from Homer (frustrated over the vocabulary tape), he turns to Lisa for help who is reading a magazine called Eternity and tells him he will have to bite the bullet and confess. He visits Milhouse and confesses that he snitched on him and Samantha to Mr. Stankey. Humiliated, he and Bart fight over Bart's actions much to the delight of Milhouse's parents. Then Bart ends the fight by hitting Milhouse with the magic eight ball, destroying it in the process and calming themselves down. Milhouse visits Samantha at the convent school and Bart offers an apology to her, but she says that it is okay - she loves Saint Sebastian's. However, she still has feelings for Milhouse and gives him a farewell kiss, despite her knowingly violating school rules.

 

75TH-

 

S3E3:

 

When Flanders Failed

 

 

 

Ned Flanders invites the Simpsons over for a barbecue. Initially, the entire family attends, but Homer declines because he doesn't like Ned. However, once he smells the food cooking, he quickly reconsiders. While they eat, Ned announces that he is quitting his job at the pharmaceutical company and opening a specialty store for left-handed people, called The Leftorium. Flanders then invites Homer to pull a wishbone with him, for the chance of getting a wish granted. Homer initially struggles to think of something suitable to wish for, but, as for a long time he has shown a lot of resentment for Flanders' material success while he is struggling to provide for his own family, Homer starts to think of a way to get back at Ned. Homer goes as far as to consider wishing for Ned's death, but decides that would be going too far, and settles on wishing for the Leftorium to go out of business. Homer does win the wishbone pull, and Maude curiously asks what Homer has wished for, but Ned insists it won't come true if divulged.

 

In a side plot, after a lecture from Marge about exercise, Bart asks to take karate lessons. While taking him on his first day, Homer gets his first look at Ned's new store. Business doesn't seem to be going very well, which pleases Homer. On his first lesson, Bart finds that karate isn't what he thought it would be, having been given Sun Tzu's Art of War to study before techniques, and takes to the arcade to play karate video games during his following lessons, merely pretending he is actually learning karate.

 

Homer checks up on Ned to make sure the Leftorium is doing poorly. When Homer is boasting about how Flanders is losing his shirt, Lisa warns Homer that such a bad attitude is poisonous. However, when Homer is elsewhere he begins to witness left-handed people who would benefit from patronizing Ned's store, he does nothing to send them in that direction. Soon after, Flanders begins to experience financial hardship as a result of his failing business venture. Rather than helping him, Homer buys most of Ned's belongings at a garage sale at "fire sale" prices. Ned's financial situation continues to worsen, and Homer witnesses Ned closing the Leftorium with an "out of business" sign; it is exactly like he imagined when making his wish, but witnessing it causes Homer to feel shock and regret instead of satisfaction.

 

On the school playground the next day, Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney antagonize Lisa by playing keep-away with her saxophone, and she calls upon Bart to defend her with his martial arts skills. Predictably he gets pummeled, but the bullies then return Lisa's sax.

 

That night, Homer returns Flanders' possessions, only to find the family's house has been repossessed by the bank and they are spending the night in their car, intending to move in with Ned's sister at her apartment in Capital City the next day. Ned is actually thankful for Homer's words at the barbecue, as he now believes that his neighbor was genuinely trying to warn him against gambling his family's future on high-risk ventures such as starting a business. Stricken with guilt, Homer decides to take it upon himself to save Flanders. He tells him to open the Leftorium the next day then makes several phone calls, informing all the left-handed people in Springfield about the store as well as calling in favors. The next day, Ned arrives to find the store full of people happily buying the merchandise - and on top of everything else, Mr. Burns buys the left-handed drive car. This helps Ned make the money he needs to save his house, and Homer toasts Ned as "the richest left-handed man in town".

74TH-

 

S3E1:

 

Stark Raving Dad

 

 

 

Lisa reminds Bart that her birthday is coming up and not to forget to get her a present. Downstairs, Bart calls Krusty's hotline even though Marge told him to watch Maggie. Marge rescues her from the fan but Bart just says she wanted to. Homer's traditional white shirt turns pink in the wash (thanks to Bart's red cap being mixed in with the shirts), and he is forced to face the ridicule of his co-workers by wearing pink to work. He catches the attention of Mr. Burns, who pegs him as "some kind of free-thinking anarchist", and orders him to be examined by Dr. Marvin Monroe. Despite his explanation for how his shirt became pink Burns won't hear After receiving a take-home psychological test from him, instead of filling out the test himself, he carelessly lets Bart fill it out for him, who does a rush-job by ticking all the boxes, not aware of what the consequences would be. After handing it in, Homer is promptly judged to be insane and committed to a mental institution. There he is bunked with a large yellow man who claims he is Michael Jackson. Having never even heard of Michael Jackson before, Homer believes everything he says. There the two quickly become friends.

 

The day of Lisa's birthday, "Michael" calls the Simpson household to inform Bart that Homer has been committed, and Marge starts working on a way to get him out. Marge manages to convince the institution that Homer is not really crazy by pointing out Bart's antics that made Homer go crazy in the first place; the doctors are shocked by this revelation, having assumed that Bart was simply Homer's delusion. Since "Michael" is only at the asylum voluntarily, Homer invites him to their home for the night. Bart, believing that Leon is really Michael Jackson, begins to inform all his friends that he is on his way despite bing told not to tell anyone. Meanwhile, in all the commotion, Lisa seems to be forgotten and on her birthday which celebrates with only her sister Maggie in sadness.

 

The word that Michael Jackson is on his way to Springfield spreads through the town, and a large crowd forms around the Simpson house. When the two of them arrive, and the crowd sees an overweight white man instead of Michael Jackson, the crowd gets angry and disperses. After the melee, Bart admits to Lisa that he forgot to buy her a birthday present, Lisa storms off, crushed.

 

That evening, Lisa writes a letter to Bart saying that she is disowning him. "Michael" hears everything and then approaches Bart and tries to convince him to write Lisa a song to make up to her. After Bart confronts him about his obvious delusion about being a famous recording star, they get down to writing, and eventually compose a ballad called, "Happy Birthday Lisa." The next day, upstairs, they perform it for Lisa, and all is well again. After this, "Michael" begins to talk with an Italian accent and tells them all that his real name is Leon Kompowsky, and he is a bricklayer from Paterson, NJ. He explains that he was an angry and unhappy man until he started talking like Michael Jackson and saw that it made everyone around him happy, which in turn made him happy, so he just kept on doing it. Leon then takes his leave, walking down the street singing Lisa's birthday song in his normal voice.

 

73RD-

 

S3E11-

 

Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk

 

 

 

Homer learns he owns stock in the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, and sells his 100 shares for 25 cents a piece to a shady stock broker, netting $25, which he spends on an expensive beer. Soon after the sale, he learns that the value of the stock had kept rising over the course of the day to end at $52 per share. While Homer misses out on the windfall – he could have made $5,200 – other employees who clearly had larger shares make small fortunes, buying new cars and Lenny gets a facelift. Homer regrets selling so low for beer and his family's disappointed about Homer's recklessness. The reason for the stock's inflated value is because a depressed Mr. Burns wants to sell the plant to pursue other interests. The sale is completed at a value of $100 million to two German businessmen, Hans and Fritz, who have been hanging out in Moe's looking for just such an opportunity. They immediately begin a thorough evaluation of the plant and its employees. When they interview Homer, he is unable to intelligently answer their questions and begins slipping into a now-infamous fantasy about cavorting through "The Land of Chocolate." Homer soon gets laid off. A depressed Homer mopes around the house, insisting he is a competent safety-minded worker while jabbing at a plugged-in toaster with a mangled fork. Meanwhile, Burns is not having a good time in retirement and decides to go to Moe's Tavern to have a drink. However, Burns is called out by Homer, who says he lost his job after the sale. Homer asks if Burns' money cheers him up, but when Burns says yes, Homer tries another avenue if his money expresses love for him. When Burns says no, Homer and the other barflies start a chant of "Nobody loves you" and similar taunts. Humiliated, Burns leaves Moe's Tavern and remarks to Smithers that the men no longer fear him as he is no longer in a position of power. He also realizes ownership of the plant gave him that power and prestige and is resolved to regain ownership.

 

Meanwhile, the Germans, who have completed their assessment, are shocked by the substandard conditions of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, and realize it will cost another $100 million to bring the plant up to code. Burns, noting their desperation to sell, offers them $50 million for the plant saying that, "you will find it [the offer]most unfair." Burns cleans out his old office, which the Germans had made into a nursery, except for a toy pig. He takes a letter opener and orders Smithers to hire Homer Simpson. When Smithers reminds Burns of the disrespectful behavior of Homer at the bar, Burns says he is well aware of that, and remarks how Homer will work for Burns a long time, likely forgetting about the incident and how the Sword of Damocles is dangling over him. When Homer lets his guard down, Burns selects his idea as evidenced by stabbing the toy pig. The episode finishes at the Simpson residence, where Homer, having just gotten off the phone, joyously tells Marge and the kids that he got his job back.

 

72ND:

 

S7E23-

 

Much Apu About Nothing

 

 

 

A bear wanders from the forest into Springfield, and eventually on Evergreen Terrace. Ned Flanders comes home and is quite scared by the bear and runs to his house. Homer then tries to leave the house by using the powerline, Chief Wiggum shoots a blow dart at the bear, but accidentally hits Barney. Wiggum's second shot hits the bear, knocking it out. When the neighborhood sees what the bear did, Homer says he's tired of the constant bear attacks (even though Ned says this is the only bear attack he's ever seen). Homer leads an angry mob to City Hall to get the mayor to start a bear patrol to make sure no bears ever come into Springfield. Mayor Quimby approves and starts the Bear Patrol. Unfortunately, the Bear Patrol proves to be costly due to its excessive use of high-tech equipment and vehicles, and this extravagance is reflected in the extra 5 dollars the citizens have to pay in taxes to keep the patrol running. Homer is outraged saying that it's the biggest tax increase in history, before Lisa corrects him saying that it's the smallest tax increase in history. Still outraged anyway, he leads another mob to City Hall, and—once again showing how illogical Springfielders are—they aren't willing to give up the bear patrol but also refuse to pay for it. Mayor Quimby, thinking quickly, scapegoats undocumented immigrants, blaming the high taxes on them, and announces that there will be a Proposition where the townspeople will vote on whether to deport these immigrants. The residents of Springfield are shown people putting up signs in favor of Proposition 24, to deport the undocumented immigrants. Homer is in the Kwik-E-Mart talking to Apu, and Apu reveals that he is an undocumented immigrant (He never got around to going through the citizenship process after his student visa expired). Apu decides he desperately does not want to be deported, so he gets a fake United States citizenship documents from Fat Tony. After trying to act like an American for one day, Apu decides he can't keep it up and that he has to get legal American citizenship the fair way, because of a memory of his mother telling him, "never forget who you are." Homer asks Selma to marry Apu, but she would rather "eat poison" than marry Apu. Apu plans to take the United States Citizenship test.

 

Homer takes Apu home to help him study. Apu initially displays a good knowledge of American history, but Homer continually corrects him and gives him wildly inaccurate information. Homer then gives Apu his 9th grade history notes, and leaves him alone to study all night. However, Apu falls asleep. When he wakes up, he realizes he has slept all night and says he's forgotten everything that Homer taught him. Lisa then says, "Perfect", and then leads him off to give him the correct answers,

 

Apu takes the citizenship test along with Dr. Nick Riviera, Akira, Bumblebee Man, Luigi, Groundskeeper Willie, Kako and a disguised Moe (who was being mean to immigrants throughout the episode). Apu passes and the Simpsons throw him a party congratulating him on becoming an American. The final shot of the episode is Willie being deported suggesting he failed the citizenship test. As the ship he's on heads out to sea, he says, "Ingrates!"

Best Quotes:

 

 

Homer: This is an outrage! It's the biggest tax increase in history!

Lisa: Actually, Dad, it's the smallest tax increase in history.

Homer: Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax.

Lisa: That's the homeowner tax.

 

 

Secretary: Sir, there's an unruly mob to see you.

Mayor Quimby: Does it have an appointment?

Secretary: Uh, yes, it does.

Principal Skinner: I phoned ahead!

Homer: Let's all calm down. Everyone's gonna be just fine, as long as I've got enough beers. (realizes the family is out of beer) Alright, that does it. If I'm gonna be trapped inside the house, I gotta go out and buy some beer.

 

71ST:

 

S7E4-

 

Bart Sells His Soul

 

 

On a Sunday morning, when the Simpson family serve as church ushers, Bart uses the opportunity to change the intended hymn to a song called "In the Garden of Eden" by "I. Ron Butterfly" as part of a prank. The song is actually Iron Butterfly's "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida". Reverend Lovejoy initially fails to notice anything amiss (or the lewd behavior of congregants including Homer and Marge), but eventually catches on. At the end of this 17-minute song, the exhausted organist collapses on the organ.

 

 

An enraged Reverend Lovejoy assembles the children into his office and demands them to repeat what he is saying and that the culprit will identify himself or herself. When Milhouse sees a crow caw at him menacingly, he immediately rats out Bart. As punishment for his prank, Bart is instructed to clean the organ pipes, and for being "snitchy" (despite doing the right thing by coming clean), Milhouse is forced to assist Bart. Bart blames Milhouse for snitching on him, and when Milhouse says he feared crows pecking at his soul for eternity if he didn't tell, Bart scoffs at the very notion of having a soul, saying there is no such thing. Milhouse calls his bluff, and tells Bart that he would like to buy it (in the form of a piece of paper saying "Bart Simpson's soul") for $5.

 

 

After an absurd fantasy with a Dino Sponge, Lisa tells Bart that he will regret selling his soul, but Bart still doesn't believe her. Santa's Little Helper growls at Bart, and Snowball hisses at Bart. Soon however, Santa's Little Helper won't play with him, automatic doors fail to open for him, and when he blows on the freezer doors at the Kwik-E-Mart, no condensation forms. He no longer finds The Itchy & Scratchy Show funny (he actually still understands that they are funny, but he simply can't laugh any longer without his soul), to which Lisa quotes Pablo Neruda saying "laughter is the language of the soul." Bart begins to suspect that he really did lose his soul, and sets out on a quest to regain it back.

 

He finds Milhouse playing with the piece of paper. Bart offers to buy back his "soul", but Milhouse asks for $50 in return. Bart leaves while Milhouse bursts into mad laughter. That night, while Marge is tucking Bart in, she senses that there is something different about his hug. Bart tries to explain, but Marge insists on trying to figure it out. She quickly rules out nuclear war and swim-test anxiety to him. She concludes that it feels like he is "Missing something. Something important".

 

That night, Bart has a nightmare; in a spectral playground, every other child in Springfield has a soul to play with, whether it is pushing on the swings, rough and tumble, or laughing together. Suddenly all the children rush to two-person boats with their soul as their first mate, and together they row to a beautiful amusement park. Bart gets into a boat, but without a soul, he can't get anywhere. Meanwhile, Milhouse has his soul and Bart's, and they do the rowing for him, making it easy. Bart is left behind in the middle of the sea, all alone. Bart wakes with a scream.

 

Lisa also taunts Bart with a dinner-time prayer at Moe's new Family Feedbag, convincing him to make a desperate, all-out attempt to get the piece of paper (his "soul") back.

 

In desperation, Bart makes a late-night attempt to retrieve his soul, having to travel across town where Milhouse and his parents are staying with his grandmother. However, the 2:00 a.m. visit is in vain; Milhouse had traded it to Comic Book Guy for Alf pogs, while a frustrated Bart camps the rest of the night in front of The Android's Dungeon & Baseball Card Shop in order to get his soul back.

 

However, the next day, Comic Book Guy tells Bart that he does not have the said piece of paper anymore, and refuses to disclose who he sold it to. A disappointed Bart walks home in the rain, and later dejectedly prays to God for his soul in his room. Eventually, floating down from above is a piece of paper, with the words "Bart Simpson's soul". Lisa had purchased the piece of paper for Bart and he is grateful. While she tries explaining philosophers' opinions on the human soul, Bart eagerly eats up the paper and ignores her. Realizing this, Lisa tells him off that she hoped he learned his lesson from this. That night, he rests easily with the pets curled at his feet. In his dream, Bart and his soul are having fun with their quirks and they win their boat race to the lovely amusement park after purposely hitting Martin's boat making his soul fall in the water, proving that he did learn his lesson in the consequences of selling his soul.

 

In the subplot, Moe wants to expand his customer base by turning his tavern into a family restaurant called Uncle Moe's Family Feedbag, themed after "T.G.I. Friday's" and "Applebee's", and if he doesn't smile when he hands over his check to customers, the meal is free. To cook all of his food, Moe buys an army surplus deep fat fryer which he claims, "will flash fry a live buffalo in 40 seconds."

 

Moe's surly demeanor and the stress of running a family restaurant by himself ultimately unnerve him, and it isn't long before he finally snaps at a little girl (who complains that her ice-cold soft drink "makes her teeth hurt"), followed up by Todd Flanders saying "Ow! My freakin' ears!", prompting the horrified customers to leave. Flanders says the restaurant is a resounding failure, forcing Moe to revert the restaurant back into his run-down tavern.

Best Quotes:

 

 

Dolph: Hah! Some ice cream guy's gonna see that, and it'll blow his mind.

Bart: Let me try.

He tries to breathe on the door, but no condensation forms.

Jimbo: Way to breathe, No-Breath!

Bart tries to leave the Kwik-e-Mart, only to run into the automatic door again.

Bart: This is getting weird.

Apu: [over PA system] Sanjay to the entrance with the Windex. Sanjay to the entrance with the Windex.

 

Moe: [looking at a crude drawing of him by a child]Aw, geez. And you got the stink lines and everything.

70TH-

 

S4E1-

 

Kamp Krusty

 

 

It is the final day of school, and Bart has a long line of Fs on his report card. But after he gets an obliging Mrs. Krabappel to change the Fs on his report card to Cs, Bart, his fellow students, and the faculty and staff arm up, and tear down Springfield Elementary School with crowbars, hammers, chainsaws, flamethrowers, assault rifles, a crane with a wrecking ball, piloted by Bart himself, to the tune of Alice Cooper's song "School's Out". Suddenly, Homer wakes him up, and it turns out that it was just a dream - but it really is the last day of school

 

Bart and Lisa are excited about being able to spend the summer at Kamp Krusty ("The Krustiest Place On Earth"), a summer camp endorsed by Bart's hero Krusty the Clown, but Homer has said that Bart can only go if he gets at least a C average on his report card. At school, Lisa is shocked that she got a B+ in conduct, she tells Miss Hoover this has to be an error but Miss Hoover says everyone needs a blotch on their permanent record. Lisa however won't take that for an answer and pressures her (literally) to change it. Meanwhile Bart finds that Mrs. Krabappel has given him a D- in each subject as a result of him slacking off, and unlike his dream, will not change the grades. On the bus ride home, he uses a marker to change each grade to straight A+'s. Bart presents the card, first to Lisa, and then to his dad, both of whom see through the trick. While Lisa just laughs and jokes about it, Homer chides Bart for not faking plausible grades. Even so, Homer decides to just let Bart go to Kamp Krusty anyway, partly because he doesn't see why Bart should pay for his mistaken belief that Bart would achieve better grades through such a deal, and partly because Homer doesn't want Bart at hanging around the house all summer.

In fact almost all of the kids of Springfield are headed for Kamp Krusty, to the delight of their parents. Unfortunately when they arrive, the camp's director, Mr. Black (who licenses the Krusty brand for his camp) announces that Krusty won't be around for a few weeks, and instead the bullies of Springfield -- Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney -- will be serving as counsellors and enforcing order. Things only go further down hill when the campers discover that the cabins are decrepit and vermin-infested. Lisa remarks that it was a little more rugged than she had expected. Bart on the other hand is more confident and highlights the Krusty Brand approval sticker on the back of the cabin, indicating that Krusty himself had approved the conditions. However, we're then show that approval sticker carries little, if any, merit as Krusty is then shown approving various pieces of shoddy merchandise before taking off for England so he can attend Wimbledon. As time goes on, the situation at the camp only seem to get worse. The kids are forced roast pine-cones instead of marshmallows, the lake is too dangerous to swim in even the boats are in bad shape, and the kids are fed nothing but Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel ("Nine out of ten orphans can't tell the difference"). While they sing a song of praise about the camp, a montage of the terrible conditions plays. As for the nearby Fat Camp kids, they're under a completely inhumane, workout boot camp which is under lock and key. Lisa tells Bart that she feels as if she's going to die soon and unable to find a silver lining, Bart remarks that she's probably right and everyone else will share the same fate. The scene cuts to Mr. Black and the bullies, who are smoking, eating turkey and drinking brandy in their lake house, making a toast to evil. Meanwhile, with the kids gone, Homer and Marge are enjoying a wonderful summer together. Homer has even grown two extra strands of hair and lost a few pounds. Marge sends them a letter saying she hopes they're having a good time at camp and sends them jellybean cookies which are stolen and eaten by Kearney, who tells Lisa that her mom's cookies suck. Lisa sends a letter back to Marge, describing how the camp's arts and crafts are nothing but sweatshops where the kids are forced to make wallets for export while showing them sewing to a drum beat by Kearney and getting pestered by Jimbo about the deadline of when the wallets have to be in Hong Kong, and that that their hikes have become brutal forced marches where the weak are picked off. While Bart clings to the hope that Krusty will come and save them, Lisa claims that she is much more pessimistic about the matter. She concludes her letter by begging Marge and Homer to come get them but they think she's exaggerating. This is once again proven not to be the case as it's shown that the roof of their cabin is torn apart leaving all the campers exposed to the storm. During this, Bart admits that next summer he's going to get a job instead of going to camp.

 

The scene cuts to the campers at the camp curfew who are all dirty, tired and worn from the terrible environment and care at the camp. Then Mr. Black walks on to the stage and announces to the campers that Krusty has finally arrived. A fatigued Bart is excitedly tells the other campers that Krusty came to save them, but it's just local drunk Barney Gumble sloppily dressed as Krusty. Not fooled by the obvious impostor, Bart shouts out that it's not Krusty and everyone gasps. Mr. Black chuckles nervously and asks Bart if he thinks that he just put a clown suit on a drunk. Unfortunately for him, Barney, ruining what little illusion he had to be Krusty, talks trying to convince them that he's really Krusty (or rather, "Krunchy"), and then burps loudly. Finally fed up of being in complete Hell, Bart declares that this isn't the first time Krusty had betrayed him (he had been given a rapid heartbeat by Krusty brand vitamins, the Krusty brand calculator lacked 7, 4 and 8 keys and Krusty's autobiography was self-serving with many glaring omissions), but this time he has gone too far, and rallies everyone up. They all begin to furiously chant that they wanted Krusty and start throwing things. The chant gets so strong, that even Barney starts to take part in it (still referring to Krusty as "Krunchy"). Mr. Black turns to the bullies and angrily reminds them that they told him they'd broken the spirits of the campers and slaps them when they insist they did, before the campers drive Mr. Black and the bullies to their hydrofoil.

 

The campers destroy the camp while Bart frees the obese kids who stuff their faces with gruel and Lisa gives the kids the mail that was kept from them. Finally, Bart takes down the Kamp Krusty flag and puts one up that says "Camp Bart", to the mild dismay of Lisa who says they all agreed to call it "Camp Freedom" only for Bart to remark, "This has more zing." . The scene cuts to Homer and Marge doing yoga which is interrupted by the news of the revolt to which Marge gasps. Channel 6 newscaster Kent Brockman arrives at the camp to report on the revolt. When Homer watches the live broadcast on TV and learns that the rebel leader is Bart, he instantly loses his newly-grown hair and instantly gains back his weight. Brockman says, upon arriving at the scene, that he has been to Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq, and that "without hyperbole, this is a million times worse than all of them put together."

 

Because of the camp crisis, Krusty is called back from Wimbledon in England (where he was about to be knighted) and comes to the camp to apologize to the kids. At first, the children are doubtful that he's the genuine article, given the camp staff's attempt to dupe them earlier, but they realize he is who he claims after ripping off his shirt and looking at the marks on his bare chest. Disappointed, Bart asks Krusty how he could have ever allowed his name to be put on the camp. Krusty aptly falls to his knees and starts sobbing telling them that a "dump truck full of money" was brought to his house and he didn't have the guts to refuse the offer given to him. Bart then describes to him that the camp was a living nightmare as they were fed nothing but gruel, forced to make wallets for export and one of the campers got eaten by a bear. Krusty is horrified by this, although Bart admits that the camper's hat was what got eaten and it was a nice hat. Krusty remains horrified and tells Bart that everything is okay now and that he's going to make it all up to them by letting them spend the remaining two weeks of camp time with him at the happiest place on Earth: Tijuana. The kids and Krusty have fun together in Mexico, which is shown in a montage of pictures over the closing credits to Frank Sinatra's "South of The Border".

69TH-

 

S1E4-

 

There's No Disgrace Like Home

 

 

 

Bart and Lisa are fighting, but it is not long until Homer quickly rushes in to break the melee up. He tells them to get the bad behavior out of their system, because they are going to Mr. Burns’ company picnic, and he doesn’t want his family to embarrass him in front of Mr. Burns.

 

When the family arrives at Mr. Burns' mansion for the picnic, Homer once again reminds his family that they have to behave in a normal manner. Bart and Lisa quickly run off to play in the water fountain and Homer chases after them leaving Marge and Maggie behind. Another woman carrying a baby approaches Marge and suggests to place the babies in the nursery and grab a drink together. Marge is reluctant about drinking, but then after seeing Homer chase Bart and Lisa around the backyard, she chooses to have a glass of punch.

 

It's soon time for the father-son sack race, and Homer pressures Bart to not have them beating Mr. Burns. Meanwhile, Marge is conversing with all the wives of the workers; she becomes tipsy from the amount of punch she drank. Back to the sack race, where Smithers gives Mr. Burns a head start and then fires the starting gun. Mr. Burns is out in front of everyone, when suddenly Bart plans to make a break for the finish line. Homer quickly hops up ahead and tackles Bart just short of the finish line, allowing Mr. Burns to finish first. Meanwhile, Marge, intoxicated, leads all the women in a song and dance number, when Homer runs by and is shocked at Marge’s behavior. He quickly whisks her away from the punch and tells her to keep it together because Mr. Burns is about to give a toast.

 

Everyone at the picnic gathers as Mr. Burns gives a toast. He thanks everyone for coming, but tells them all to leave immediately as he threatens to release the hounds in ten minutes. Everyone heads out, and Homer notices the family ahead of them; the son gives the father a kiss and tells him he had a great time. Mr. Burns is impressed by this family, but is insulted by Homer's pathetic attempt to gain his favor. Later on, Homer confronts the man from the “perfect” family ahead of him and tells him he can stop the fake cornball routine. However, the man reveals his family are actually nice normal people in real life and don't act like this only at gatherings. When the man admits pitying him, Homer finally realizes the truth--that his own family has a problem. He watches a son from the normal family lets his sister enter the back seat like a gentleman. She politely thanks him for the gesture. Homer witnesses Lisa and Bart arguing and fighting over seats. He turns his attention to the man's wife who is offering her husband to rest and she can drive home. The man politely refuses and starts the car. Homer then turns his attention to Marge who's still intoxicated and asking him to drive home before she throws up in his car. He imagines the man's family driving off to Heaven, while he is driving his own family in Hell. Homer goes back home in his reality now knowing how much Marge, Bart and Lisa embarrassed him in front of his boss.

 

The next day, Marge and the kids eat TV dinners in the living room and watch TV together when Homer walks in and plans that tonight they are all going to eat at the dinner table like a normal family. At the dinner table, the rest of the Simpsons are not taking Homer's attempt to get them to eat like a normal family seriously and continue eating like cavemen. During his prayer, Homer expresses his dissatisfaction with his troubled family's behavior and ponders why he was cursed with those who disrespect him. When Marge and the kids claim there is nothing is wrong with the family, Homer chooses to prove that there is something wrong with them. He leads the family in a tour around the neighborhood, peeking into random houses to observe their neighbors’ normal family life. However, the rest of the Simpsons are unnerved by Homer's sudden rash behavior in the tour and tries to convince him that they're normal like everyone else who have familiar problems like them. He refuses to believe them, pointing out that normal families converses with each other about their day and eat at the dinner table, not ignore a family member and eating dinner while watching TV in the living room. A neighbor notices Homer spying on his family and fires warning rounds from his shotgun. By the time they got back to the safety of their house, Marge tells him off that she thinks the trip is unnecessary because she and the kids feel like stalkers, invading their entire neighborhood's privacies with their families. They quickly retreat back inside to continue watching TV.

 

Depressed by this matter, Homer visits Moe's Tavern for a drink and to get away from his problems. Two patrolmen enter the bar, claiming they received reports of a neighborhood stalker. The dog suspects Homer and growls at them to pay attention. Luckily for him, the two cops are too dumb to notice anything and drag the dog away. After getting into a brief fight with Barney, Homer later sees a commercial for Dr. Marvin Monroe's Family Therapy Center. Dr. Monroe guarantees "family bliss or double your money back". Homer then gets an idea to make his family normal.

 

Marge and the kids watch an Itchy & Scratchy cartoon when Homer walks in the living room and announces he has made an appointment at Dr. Monroe’s Family Therapy Center. The family is reluctant to the idea, but Homer is on a mission to make his family better. Marge tries to claim that there's still nothing wrong with their family, but Homer doesn't listen. In order to raise the $250 needed for the session, Homer pawns the TV much to the rest of the family's horror.

 

The therapy treatment begins as Dr. Monroe brings them into another room and sits them down. He encourages them each to draw a picture that represents the source of their unhappiness. Most of the Simpsons vent their anger out by drawing Homer as they see him, while Homer gets lost in the exercise by drawing airplanes dropping bombs on his family. When Dr. Monroe sees this, he points out to Homer that had he been paying attention, he would've known his family sees him as an abusive and stern disciplinarian. Monroe also calls him an ogre, a word that Marge and Lisa disagree with, claiming ogre is too much. Bart agrees with Monroe, making Homer furious enough to attack him. Dr. Monroe calms Homer down and asks the family to try different exercises, such as the foam padded aversion mallets that Bart turns into a hard weapon by removing the foam padding from his mallet and striking Dr. Monroe with it. Soon, Dr. Monroe sees that the Simpson family is not responding to conventional treatment, so his next exercise becomes different. He places each of the Simpsons in their own chair, hooked up to deliver an electric shock. Each chair has buttons that when pressed will deliver an electric shock to another corresponding chair. With all of the Simpsons strapped in, Dr. Monroe instructs them only to shock someone else if that person hurts them emotionally. However, the family members quickly start shocking each other over minor slights, and then things go totally off the rails when Maggie starts hitting all the buttons at random, leading to a power brownout across the entire city, much to Mr. Burns' joy as this increased use of electricity means more money for his company.

 

Dr. Monroe soon tires of the Simpsons and unplugs the generator. He tells them that they're beyond his help and orders them to leave, but Homer refuses reminding Monroe of his double-money back guarantee. Dr. Monroe grudingly agrees and furiously hands over $500 while ordering them to leave and never tell anyone they were ever there. The family leaves, more than satisfied given their unexpected windfall and cannot help but feel more united. Homer decides to use the money to buy a brand new TV, and the Simpsons happily head home.

Best Quotes:

 

[The Simpsons watch a family converse.]

Boy: Papa, I think I heard some rusting in the bushes!

Grandfather: I did, too. Better get the gun.

[The boy walks into another room.]

Lisa: Where's he going?

Homer: Probably to get the old man his pipe and slippers.

[The grandfather cocks and fires his gun, causing the Simpsons to scream. The Simpsons runs away and continues to scream]

 

 

 

Barney: You got crummy little kids that nobody can control.

Homer: You can't talk that way about my kids...or at least two of them.

Barney: Why? You got two I haven't met?

Homer: Why you! [punches Barney]Here's five you haven't met!

 

 

Mr. Burns: This must be, uh, Brat.

Bart: Bart.

Homer: Don't correct the man, Brat.

 

68TH-

 

S622:

 

Round Springfield

 

 

 

While watching TV about the financial problems Krusty has been having with his workers, Bart is confronted by Marge who quizzes him to see if he actually studied for his history test that morning. After being quizzed, Bart accidentally consumes a jagged metal Krusty-O with his breakfast cereal. He then gets a stomachache, but Marge doesn't believe him because he didn't study for his test and it seemed like he was looking for an excuse. Lisa is the only one who believes him, as Homer and Marge send him to school. Bart struggles through the test, and after finally convincing Mrs. Krabappel that he is actually ill, she lets him go and see the nurse. Bart goes to the nurse, sees that it is just lunch lady Doris working as the nurse, and she merely offers him kiddie vitamins. Knowing that the medicine would be useless and the pain being so great, Bart gives up and collapses on the medical room floor in front of Superintendent Chalmers, and is taken to Springfield General Hospital where he wakes up in the operating room and is prepped for surgery from Dr. Hibbert and Dr. Nick Riviera, as it emerges he has appendicitis. After a slight anesthesia malfunction (where they prepare to use the scalpel on Bart only for him to open his eyes and Dr. Nick accidentally anesthetizes himself, the surgery goes well and Bart wakes up to the sight of his family. Homer remarks that it's a miracle of God that Bart's still alive. Bart on the other hand, is still angry with Homer for dismissing him earlier and scoffs, "No thanks to you." Homer then becomes angry and starts strangling Bart before Dr. Hibbert reminds him that Bart had just gotten out of surgery. While being visited by his fellow classmates, Dr. Hibbert reveals that the piece of jagged metal was the cause. While visiting Bart in the hospital, Lisa meets her hero Bleeding Gums Murphy in a bed in another ward. All of the kids in Springfield want their appendixes out albeit due to Bart missing a week of school.

 

Later, he lends Lisa his saxophone for her school recital. It starts off terribly (mostly because with so much of the band out with appendix removals, it is down to her, Martin Prince, and Ralph Wiggum), then Lisa gets up and performs a solo routine, becoming the star of the show. However, when she returns to the hospital, she is saddened to learn that Murphy has died. Lisa is the only person to attend Murphy's funeral, and vows to make sure that everyone in Springfield knows the name Bleeding Gums Murphy. Likewise, Homer won't rest until he gets a hot dog even though it's a funeral, he gets his wish as a hot dog vendor who follows Homer around, gives him one. In the meantime, Bart sues Krusty the Clown for $100,000 and wins. However, after Bart's attorney Lionel Hutz takes his "legal fees", Bart is left with only $500.

 

Still stricken with grief, Lisa proclaims that the best way to honor Murphy's memory is by having his album played at the local jazz station. Lisa observes it in The Android's Dungeon store for $250, but after hearing that Bleeding Gums is dead, Comic Book Guy doubles the price to $500. Bart then walks in with his $500 intending to buy "the ultimate pog" featuring Steve Allen. However, when he sees a depressed Lisa walking down the street, he chooses to buy the album with his money. Later on, Bart presents Lisa with the album. When asked by an ecstatic Lisa why he did this for her, Bart explains that when he said that he was in pain, she was the only one who believed him. He further tells her that he is satisfied and when Lisa points out he will never see $500 again after his selfless act, Bart reveals the new Krusty-O's cereal with flesh-eating bacteria prizes in every box (implying that he intends to sue Krusty-O's again to get the $500 back).

 

When the station plays one of Murphy's songs, Lisa is disappointed because the station's tiny range still prevents anyone from hearing it. Lightning then strikes the antenna, giving it extra power and projecting it into every radio in Springfield. Lisa is finally satisfied. Chief Wiggum ends up suffocating from poison gas due to the police scanner being cut off by the aforementioned surge that allowed for Bleeding Gum's song to play. After proclaiming "that was for you Bleeding Gums," she turns to leave, but not before Bleeding Gums appears from the heavens to tell Lisa that she had made "an old jazz man happy". After saying a final goodbye, Lisa and Bleeding Gums jam to "Jazzman" one last time.

Best Quotes:

 

 

Bleeding Gums Murphy: What are you here for?

Lisa: My brother just had his appendix out.

Bleeding Gums Murphy: Is he gonna be okay?

Bart: [with a crude face drawn on his buttocks] Hello, I'm Dr. Cheeks. I'm doing my rounds, and I'm a little "behind."

Lisa: He'll be fine.