29TH:

 

S2E4:

 

Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish

 

 

 

 

Bart and Lisa go fishing barefoot, downstream of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant and The Springfield Shopper reporter Dave Shutton pulls up just as Bart catches a three-eyed fish (later dubbed "Blinky"). From the resulting publicity the governor, Mary Bailey, calls for an investigation of the power plant and its owner, Montgomery Burns.

 

After an inspection, Mr. Burns is presented with a list of 342 violations, which would cost over $56 million to rectify ($56,088,800 in Smithers's calculator). Distraught, Burns talks to under-performing employee Homer, who half-heartedly suggests that Burns run for Governor, which would give him more power to halt the charges against him. Burns immediately decides to start a campaign.

 

Because Marge believes that Burns is only attempting to gain political office in order to cover up problems at the plant and because she supports incumbent Governor Mary Bailey's reelection campaign, she wants nothing to do with Homer's campaigning for Burns even though Homer makes a clear point that he is only supporting Mr. Burns so he won't get fired and that he can still provide for his family. Homer's support for Burns divides the Simpson house because Marge and Lisa support Bailey. It is uncertain whether Bart supports either Bailey or Burns, but he is seen wearing a "My dad told me to vote for Monty Burns" T-shirt, most likely supporting whatever his father does.

 

Because Marge believes that Burns is only attempting to gain political office in order to cover up problems at the plant and because she supports incumbent Governor Mary Bailey's reelection campaign, she wants nothing to do with Homer's campaigning for Burns even though Homer makes a clear point that he is only supporting Mr. Burns so he won't get fired and that he can still provide for his family. Homer's support for Burns divides the Simpson house because Marge and Lisa support Bailey. It is uncertain whether Bart supports either Bailey or Burns, but he is seen wearing a "My dad told me to vote for Monty Burns" T-shirt, most likely supporting whatever his father does.

 

Burns's political advisers break the news to Burns that he is not well-liked and force Burns to try being friendly and even smile. Burns also does a TV commercial while discussing Blinky, with an actor portraying Charles Darwin who claims Blinky is an evolutionary miracle. Burns closes the ad with a claim that a fish like Blinky will be a tasty meal. Combined with a smear campaign against Mary Bailey, Burns eventually ends up tying with Bailey in the polls.

 

As election day approaches, Smithers and his other advisers suggest that Burns have dinner with a worker from the plant as an opportunity to have Burns appear to be in touch with an average American family. The Simpsons are chosen as the family to host said dinner. Marge is upset with Homer for allowing Burns to come over for dinner and use their family as tool for election night, claiming she "doesn't want to snuggle with anybody who's not letting her express herself." Homer insists that Marge does get to express herself through the way she takes care of the house and the meals she serves to the family. Upon hearing Homer's argument, Marge reconsiders and comes up with an idea on how to deal with Burns.

 

The following night, as the family is prepared for the dinner, Burns's campaign team gives the Simpsons padded questions to ask Mr. Burns on camera, questions he won't have any problem answering. Once he arrives, Mr. Burns answers all of the pre-written questions with ease and rails about his primary campaign promise of lowering taxes across the state. His adviser whispers to him that it has put him a few points ahead of Bailey in the polls and suggests he's clinched the election. After Lisa finishes with her question, one that she calls "inane", she walks into the iamspamspamamiand sulks to Marge about how they've essentially become the tools of evil. Marge tells Lisa, that she's "learning a lot that night, and one of those things is to always give your mother the benefit of the doubt."

 

Marge brings out the main course for dinner: it is Blinky. Burns is suddenly flustered, but hands his plate over to Marge, who serves him Blinky's head. Mr. Burns looks to his campaign team at the back of the room and sees his adviser gesturing him to eat it and pretend he's enjoying it. Burns takes a forkful and moments after he begins chewing it, he spits it across the table. The cameras flash as the piece flies through the air, the press rushes out of the house to report the incident, and his gubernatorial campaign is over by the time the chunk lands on the floor.

 

When the latest polls indicate that public confidence in Burns has sunk to rock bottom, Burns turns to his campaign team in pure desperation, claiming that there must be something that can be done. However, his campaign team knows he's finished, and they all decide to throw in the towel and leave. Infuriated by coming so close to achieving victory, Burns trashes the family room (with Smithers overturning the things too heavy for him and even Homer joining in when ordered to by his tyrannical boss). When Lisa remarks that destroying their meager possessions isn't going to change anything, Burns hangs his head in defeat and admits that she's right, deciding to return home and destroy, "something tasteful".

 

Before leaving, however, Mr. Burns turns to Homer and tells him that he will dedicate the rest of his life to ensuring that Homer's dreams are never fulfilled. While going to bed, Homer is nervous and says he doesn't like the sound of Burns's threat. Nevertheless, Marge cheers him up by pointing out that when someone's dreams are just being able to snuggle with someone at night and have seconds of dessert, no single man can take that away from him, and in the end the Simpson family is brought back together.

Best Quotes:

 

Inspector: Mr. Burns, in twenty years, I have never seen such a shoddy, deplorable...

Mr. Burns: Oh, look! Some careless person has left thousands and thousands of dollars just lying here on my coffee table. Uh, Smithers, why don't we leave the room, and hopefully, when we return, the pile of money will be gone. (leaves, then returns a few moments later) D'oh, look Smithers, the money and a very stupid man are still here.

Inspector: Burns, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to bribe me.

Mr. Burns: Is there some confusion about this? (stuff money into his pockets) Take it! Take it! Take it, you poor schmo!

Inspector: Mr. Burns! I'm gonna overlook this felony, however, I will not overlook the three hundred and forty two violations I observed at your plant today. Either bring this place up to code or we'll shut it down. Good day. (leaves)

 

Mr. Burns: Hello. Many questions have been asked about our friend the three-eyed fish. So to clarify the matter I have asked (an actor playing) Charles Darwin! Hello Charles.

Charles Darwin Actor: Hello Monty!

Mr. Burns: Would you please explain the theory for this three-eyed fish?

Charles Darwin Actor: Oh certainly! Every now and then Mother Nature experiments with her creatures, giving them longer legs, sharper claws, or in this case, a third eye. If she finds the changes favorable the creatures will multiply and a new race of superfish will be created. I would not mind having a third eye, would you Monty?

Mr. Burns: Oh no, of course not.

Marge Simpson: I am happy good old Mary Bailey is cracking down on Burns' polluting!

Homer Simpson: Bah! If I was governor, I would be focused on more important issues.

Lisa Simpson: Such as?

Homer: For one, I would make sure Washington's birthday and Lincoln's birthday were once again separate pay holidays! President's Day! Foof! I work my butt off and what break do I get?

Marge: Homer, should you not get going or you will be late?

Homer: Someone will cover for me.

 

Mr. Burns: Working late, Simpson?

Homer: Uh, yes, sir.

Mr. Burns: You and I are a dying breed, Simpson. I'm going to share a secret with you. Hop in the car.

Homer gets into Burns' luxury car

Homer: Ooh, cushy!

Mr. Burns: Homer, they're trying to shut us down. They say we're contaminating the planet.

Homer: Well, nobody's perfect.

Mr. Burns: Can't the government just get off our backs?

Homer: You know, I was just telling the wife that if I was governor, I'd do things a lot differently---

Mr. Burns: Oh, get off your soapbox, Simpson! Do you realize how much it costs to run for office? Much more than any honest man can afford!

Homer: I bet you can afford it, though. (Mr. Burns growls at him; nervously) Uh, d-don't get me wrong, I mean that you are an honest man, just that you have so much you could run for governor if you felt like it. Of course, I'm just rambling because you keep staring at me like that, but-but it's true! I mean, if you were governor, you can decide what's safe and what isn't. (Mr. Burns starts his car) Uh, where are we going, sir?

Mr. Burns: To create a new and better world.

Homer: If it's on the way, can you drop me off at my house?

28TH:

 

S2E5-

 

Dancin' Homer

 

 

 

One night at Moe's Tavern, Homer tells the story of how he got (and then lost) his big break...it is "Nuclear Plant Employee, Spouses and No More than Three Children Night" at the Springfield Isotopes baseball game at Springfield Stadium. At the game, Mr. Burns sits with Homer, taunting the Isotopes, which are expected to lose their 27th consecutive game, reportedly the longest losing streak in professional baseball. But when Homer fires up the crowd to the tune of "Baby Elephant Walk," the Isotopes win their game.

 

Because of this, Homer is made the Springfield Isotopes mascot "Dancin' Homer." Thanks to his spirit, the Isotopes win more games until Homer is promoted by Antoine Tex O'Hara to the team in Capital City.

 

The Simpsons pack their suitcases, and during a black and white scene, Homer gives a farewell speech his fans that he will be moving to Capital City. Homer is nervous about performing for a larger crowd and sharing the stage with the legendary Capital City Goofball. When it is finally his time to perform, he uses he same antics that had wowed the crowds in Springfield. His first performance is a disaster, boring the crowd, causing them only to applaud once he is led off the field and promptly fired.

 

Homer sadly finishes regaling his story, only to find that the barflies are still impressed.

Best Quotes:

 

 

Lisa: I can't think of a better place to spend a balmy summer's night than the old ball yard. There's just the green grass of the outfield, the crushed brick of the infield, and the white chalk lines that divide the man from the little boy.

Homer: (chuckles) Lisa, honey. You're forgetting the beer. It comes in 72-ounce tubs here.

Marge: I hope you'll space out the tubs this year, Homer.

Homer: What are you getting at?

Marge: Well, last year you got a little rambunctious and mooned the poor umpire.

Homer: Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right... no, the duty... to make a complete ass of myself.

Marge: Mmmph.

 

Mr. Burns: (taunting) The hitter's off his rocker, kissing Betty Crocker!

Homer: (laughs) Good one, sir.

Mr. Burns: Oh, well, I used to rile the late, great Connie Mack with that one at old Shibe Park.

Homer: (taunting) Little baby batter can't control his bladder!

Mr. Burns: Mmm, crude, but, uh, I like it. Uh, what do you say we freshen up our little drinkie-poos?

Homer: Don’t mind if I do.

Homer: [after Mr. Burns weakly throws out the first pitch] Hey, Burns! Hey, rag arm!

Bart: You throw like my sister, man!

Lisa: Yeah, you throw like me!

 

Homer: I wonder why stories of degradation and humiliation make you more popular.

Moe: I don't know. They just do.

27TH:

 

 

S3E9-

 

Saturdays of Thunder

 

 

When the local Soap Box Derby is held in Springfield, Bart has his heart set on first prize. But the catch is that he must build his own soap box racer. In the meantime, Patty and Selma tell Marge that Homer is a bad father. Following the conversation and in a bid to prove them wrong, Marge gets Homer to take a fatherhood quiz to see how much he really knows about Bart. The questions are:-

 

Name your sons hobbies?

Name one of your child's friends?

Who is your sons hero?

Name another Dad you talk to about parenting?

Homer however, fails to answer a single question correctly. He doesn't know the name of any of Bart's friends, passes over the question about talking to another father, doesn't know who Bart's hero is and claims that his son doesn't have any hobbies. When Marge directs him to the garage, he sees Bart building a racer and breaks down in tears realizing that he knows nothing about his own son.

 

 

Hoping to fix his relationship with Bart, Homer goes to the National Fatherhood Institute. They they give a book about parenting and following the book and doctors advice, Homer offers to help his son by building the racer together, and Bart eventually agrees. Unfortunately, Homer's less than adept building skills gives Bart a very shoddy, rickety piece of junk for a racer (named Li'l Lightnin'). This is especially so in comparison to Martin Prince's personally designed and built space shuttle-like racer, Martin B-57. Martin and Bart form an alliance vowing that either must somehow beat Nelson and his very intimidating racer, the MIG-17, armed with every dirty trick in the book.

 

When the race is underway, Bart can barely reach any kind of noticeable speed with Homer's racer and becomes a laughingstock for it. Meanwhile, Martin has difficulty controlling his racer, as it is moving too fast, which eventually causes his racer to smoke-bust and burn. After getting injured, Martin finds that he can no longer race and opts for Bart and himself to combine forces by having Bart race Martin's racer over the racer he and Homer built. Bart seeing no other way to win agrees, which breaks Homer's heart. When Bart later apologizes and desires Homer's best wishes, Homer selfishly denounces both Bart and Martin, telling Bart to do whatever he likes.

 

Dejected, Bart trains for the final race with Martin's newly tuned racer. When the big day finally arrives, the family prepares to go and show their support for Bart. Everybody that is, except for Homer who is still sulking. Despite Bart's pleas he refuses to come to the race or at the very least wish his son luck, which leaves Bart devastated. Witnessing the whole thing, Marge's patience finally runs out and she scolds her husband for his selfish behavior. To illustrate her disappointment, Marge reminds Homer that for years, she defended him from his detractors, including her sisters, Patty and Selma, who repeatedly told her that Homer is a terrible and incompetent father. Her face falling, Marge reluctantly admits that she was wrong and everybody else was right. Though it clearly pains her to do so, Marge reluctantly admits that in light of Homer's recent behaviour and his inability to support his son for helping out a friend, Homer has proven beyond any doubt that he really is a bad father!

 

This statement only makes Homer feel worse. Turning away from his family, he orders them to leave him alone with his depression, which they do.

 

Some time later, Homer watches as the final preparations are made for the race. Quietly reflecting on his selfishness and depression, he goes to the fridge, which has the fatherhood test pinned to it. Looking at the questions, he starts to answer them: -

 

Name your sons hobbies - Building a soapbox derby racer.

Name one of your child's friends - Martin.

Who is your son's hero - Three times soapbox derby champion, Ronnie Beck.

Name another Dad you talk to about parenting - Homer cheats on this one. When Ned walks past the window, Homer goes outside asks him a random question and when Ned starts to answer, leaves before Ned can finish.

Realizing that he has come to learn a lot about his son, the now cheered up Homer, drives down to the race to support Bart. At the starting line, Homer wishes Bart luck and tells the boy that no matter how the race turns out he will still be proud of him. The race is tough as Nelson pulls every dirty trick in his arsenal, but eventually through his skill Bart comes out on top and the "team" enjoy their victory. Bart also meets his new hero, three time soap box champ Ronny Beck, who hands Bart his trophy. Bart and Homer act like sore winners, which embarrasses Marge who reminds them they should be good winners. Bart then protests that this is the first time he won something and he may never do it again. Bart shares a hug as Homer finally becomes a good father to his son.

Best Quotes:

 

Bart: Dad, I don't know how to say this. I don't want to drive your car. It's slow, it's ugly; it handles like a shopping cart.

Martin: What is the matter with you?

Bart: It's my dad. Lying there on the couch, drinking a beer, staring at the TV... I've never seen him like that.

Nelson: Hey, Simpson, where's your loser-mobile?

Homer: Loser mobile... hehehe... wait a minute!

Bart: Uh, It's over there Nelson.

Nelson: Whoa, talk about your pieces of crap!

 

Bart: Oh, I don't know if I should do that. My dad and I build our car together, and if I drove somebody else's it'd kill him! On the other hand, I'll do it!

 

 

 

26TH:

 

S3E24-

 

Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?

 

 

 

Homer and the rest of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant employees are summoned for the annual company physical. Homer's sperm count comes back as incredibly low, due to the radiation at the plant. Realizing that the plant could be sued for millions, Burns considers options for escaping that liability. He and his lawyers settle on the idea of tricking Homer into signing a waiver by pretending that it is an award for "The First Annual Montgomery Burns Award For Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence." Homer asks if he'll get a ceremony (similar to the Oscars) Burns agrees. Even though he's getting the award, an envelope is opened and Homer receives a trophy $2000 as the award.

 

 

Meanwhile, Herb Powell, now bankrupt and sleeping on the streets, discusses how he lost his fortune due to his half-brother Homer's stupidity (as shown in "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?") with other homeless people, one of whom claims to be the creator of New Coke. After boldly claiming that all a person needs is a good idea, Herb sees a woman struggling to understand her baby, and seizes on the idea of developing a baby translator. When Herb's fellow bums tell him that even with an idea, he's still a bum, Herb changes his claim to saying that all a person needs is an idea and some money to get it off the ground. Herb finds a newspaper with a photo of Homer winning the Burns award (and accepting the cash prize), and decides to pay him a visit to ask for a chance to make his money back.

 

Homer, though, has other plans for the award money. After Bart and Lisa destroy the couch during a session of "broom vaulting" in the "living room Olympics," Homer finds a store selling a vibrating chair for $2000, which he immediately falls in love with. Marge talks him out of making the purchase, stating that he could use the money to buy her a new washer and dryer. Meanwhile, Herb, looking for the Simpsons, accidentally goes to the Flanders' house next door. However, he's in luck as they clean and bathe him (Todd want to anoint the sores on Herb's feet which disappoints him when it's his mom's turn) and give him a new suit. After giving his gratitude to the Flanders, Herb then goes to the Simpson home. When Homer answers the door, Herb beats up Homer by punching him in the face. When Homer asks about the beating Herb tells Homer he's still mad at his brother for bankrupting him. He is however happy to see the rest of the family. At dinner, Lisa asks why he never called or wrote to them, and Herb tells her if he did, he would have to explain to her that her dad (Homer) was the reason he has no home or anything. Herb asks them for a second chance and explains his baby translator idea. Marge, Bart, and Lisa convince Homer to give him the money, even though he's still skeptical about the translator. Now with the money as well as the idea, Herb goes to work on his baby translator. After much work with Maggie, he unveils the translator to the family, who are quite overwhelmed by it despite its clunky appearance.

 

However, the device does work and Herb takes it to a Baby Convention. There, Professor Frink tries to demonstrate his new invention, the "Tu-Fr. No Triplets" to have a baby fly all over the world in it's own airplane. The demonstration proves a failure when he loses his kid after a botched landing. Herb demonstrates his baby translator device and he is inundated by orders from other parents and an offer from a baby goods store to stock thousands of his translators. Herb realizes that he has made his fortune back again, while Professor Frink laments on his own failure and fears his wife's rage.

 

As Herb leaves the Simpsons, he repays Homer the $2000, then gives everyone gifts. To Lisa, he gives a subscription to "Great Books of Western Civilization"; to Bart, a membership in the National Rifle Association; to Maggie, a promise to get her something nice when the baby translator says she wants what the dog is eating; and to Marge, a replacement washer and dryer, plus $50 which he made from selling the old ones. Cut to a brief scene where at Moe's Tavern, where Moe and the denizens are racing the old, defective washer and dryer. Finally, to Homer, two gifts—his forgiveness and acceptance as a brother, plus the vibrating chair that he wanted so much. Homer is immensely pleased by this gift and the episode finishes with him relaxing on the vibrating chair.

 

Best Quotes:

 

25TH:

 

S6E21-

 

The PTA Disbands

 

 

 

The students of Springfield Elementary are on their way to their field trip at Fort Springfield. Unfortunately, the bus is run down and falling apart, as there’s holes in the floor, the exhaust is leaking, the bus is moving unstably and the brakes are shot (the kids had to use their jackets to stop the bus). Bart and Milhouse are relieved they didn't take the other bus, which explodes after a leaf falls on it. After they arrive, Skinner has to pay for the trip up front, but the amount for students is more than Skinner has, he says no school could afford that, however he is proved wrong when a better school is able to go in. They decide to just look over the wall, unfortunately they are caught "learning for free" and they make a run for it. After the failed attempt on the school field trip, which appears to have claimed the life of Üter, Edna Krabappel tries to tell Skinner that by not fixing the school, the kids are losing their futures, Skinner accidentally, out of anger, says that that the kids have no futures, which shocks everyone. From the busted school bus to the terrible cafeteria food to the low quality school supplies, the teachers are fed up. Edna calls an emergency strike on behalf of the Teachers' Union of Springfield Elementary, to protest Principal Skinner's miserly spending on school supplies and activities (namely because the government had cut their budget, and he needed to use half of the school's budget to fix the exhaust leak on the already hugely in disrepair bus) after being manipulated by Bart.

 

The various student characters respond to the sudden turn of events in their own ways: while most of the kids play in the streets or go to their favorite hangout spots, Lisa becomes increasingly obsessive in her desire to be graded and to learn, Milhouse is forced by his parents to take private tutoring lessons and it helps him improve, Jimbo finds himself immersed in the intricacies of daytime soap operas, and Bart revels in his newfound afternoon freedom, causing mayhem, which eventually irritates Marge and the neighbors. In particular, Bart does what he can to keep the union and Principal Skinner at odds with each other. The two sides are at an impasse, the union wanting a restoration of funding and Skinner maintaining that even with the spending reductions he has made, government budget cuts have squeezed the school dry.

 

Eventually, Marge is exasperated with the stalemate between the teachers and Skinner and also the fact that Lisa and Bart need school to grow. After Marge reveals that Lisa was dissecting her raincoat and witnessing Bart flying a kite at night, decides it's time the kids back to school. The PTA does an emergency meeting where Mrs. Krabappel says that the students deserve better learning materials. However, Principal Skinner mentions that the only option is to raise taxes. Unfortunately, it is still a stalemate but Ned Flanders reveals that the PTA has a plan: use robot teachers, or if they are not around, use people from the neighborhood. This turns out to be even worse for the students than before the strike, especially as Jasper becomes Lisa's new teacher and sends the kids home for having his beard get stuck in the pencil sharpener. The other teachers aren't any better even Professor Frank who teaches the kindergarten class with a familiar toy and explaining the science around it. Bart becomes horrified when Marge becomes his new teacher (it was thought at first that a muscular man was their new teacher but he was only coming in to introduce Marge to the class), after Skinner learns that he scared away previous substitute teachers and planned to use her to keep him in line. Due to her excessive mothering of him as well as her embarrassing him in front of everyone, Bart is the laughing stock of his class, which Nelson and his friends takes advantage.

 

Fed up with Marge being his teacher, Bart grudgingly resolves to force the strike negotiations forward. Together with Milhouse, he tricks Krabappel and Skinner in to entering Skinner's office, which he then locks behind them. He then tells them from outside that they are not leaving until they reach an agreement on this entire thing. After spending several hours trapped together "like prisoners" in their own school, the two are mutually inspired with an idea to create extra revenue for more school spending. Matters return to normal with the old teachers in charge; however, the school classrooms have been rented to the Springfield Prison. Each classroom now features several full prison cells at the back, which have the added benefit of keeping the more troublesome students in line (although it is clear from the last line that Bart intends to help free Snake Jailbird, who is in the cell directly behind Bart's desk).

 

 

Best Quotes:

 

 

24TH:

 

S8E7-

 

Lisa's Date With Density

 

 

 

At Springfield Elementary School, Superintendent Chalmers visits Principal Skinner to show off his newly purchased car – a 1979 Honda Accord – but becomes distraught when he discovers that the car's hood ornament has been stolen. Principal Skinner orders a locker-to-locker search, asking the students if they think it is funny that Superintendent Chalmers is at home crying like a girl - but they do. Regardless, it is soon determined that Nelson is the perpetrator, his locker is packed with a 'principal's ransom' of stolen property. As punishment, Nelson is forced to return the goods. Lisa questions Nelson as to why he always bullies other students, but Nelson responds by making fun of Lisa's fat posterior. Nelson then has to help Groundskeeper Willie with chores around the school campus as further punishment.

 

In music class, Lisa is caught looking out of the window at Nelson annoying Willie and is given detention by her music teacher Mr. Largo. While she is in detention, Nelson walks to the window and advises her on how to faster complete her punishment and once he walks off, she continues to watch him, and realizes that she has developed a crush on him.

 

Lisa lets Nelson understand how she feels about himself after attempting to pass him a love note in class, which resulted in Nelson seriously injuring Milhouse (Nelson thought that the note was from him). Lisa chooses to reform Nelson into a model student: She changes his appearance by taking him to the Wee Monsieur (where he is dressed in a sweater and slacks). Nelson states that he feels like a tool. The two later share a kiss during their date at the Springfield Observatory (this was Nelson's attempt to silence Lisa, but he found that he liked it).

 

However, the influence of Nelson's friends – Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney – proves to win out when they convince Nelson to throw spoiled coleslaw that they found behind the dumpster from Krusty Burger at Principal Skinner's house. Skinner immediately fingers the boys as suspects, and they run away. Nelson takes refuge with Lisa, claiming innocence. Lisa believes him, until Nelson finally lets the cat out of the bag, before realizing that Nelson has been lying to her, and thinks that they should end their relationship for their sakes, to the joy of the jealous Milhouse, who has had a longtime crush on her.

 

In the subplot, Chief Wiggum arrests a confidence trick scam artist for telemarketing fraud. Homer witnesses the takedown and sees the discarded autodialer in a nearby dumpster. Homer takes the autodialer to the Simpson house to use for telepanhandling.

 

Homer ends up annoying Springfield with his "Happy Dude" confidence trick scam, including Ned Flanders, who keeps answering the phone to hear the autodialer and Maude Flanders threatens to make Ned sleep outside on the lawn unless he unplugs the phone. This annoys Homer, and he orders the couple to shut up, because other people are trying to sleep. Eventually, it is not long before Chief Wiggum catches Homer, he destroys the autodialer with his shock gun stating it was driving the town crazy especially Wiggum who says he got out of the bath several times just for that. Instead of confiscating the autodialer and taking Homer into custody, Wiggum gives Homer a citation and is asked to bring the autodialer to his court hearing. Homer does just that, and is ordered to give apologies to everyone he scammed. He does so using a prerecorded message and the autodialer, and at the end of the message asks for more money.

Best Quotes:

 

Largo: (to Lisa) Miss Simpson, do you find something funny about the word "tromboner"?

Lisa: No, sir. I was laughing at something outside.

Sherri: She was looking at Nelson!

Class: Lisa likes Nelson!

Milhouse: She does not!

Class: Milhouse likes Lisa!

Janey: He does not!

Class: Janey likes Milhouse!

Uter: She does not!

Class: Uter likes Milhouse!

Mr. Largo: NOBODY LIKES MILHOUSE! Lisa, you've got detention!

 

 

 

Lisa: I like you too, Milhouse, but not in that way. You're more like a big sister.

Milhouse: No I'm not! Why does everyone keep saying that?

Lisa: Would you do me a favor? When you get back to class, just give him this note.

(Milhouse groans)

Lisa: Please?

Milhouse's brain: When she sees you'll do anything she says, she's bound to respect you.

Milhouse: Sure! What's a big sister for?

Milhouse's brain: Oh, I shouldn't have said that!

Groundskeeper Willie: And that's how Willie waters. Now you take the hoose.

Nelson: The moose?

Groundskeeper Willie: The hoose! The hoose!

Nelson: Is this right? (intentionally sprays water at Willie)

Groundskeeper Willie: Ack! Turn off the noozle!!

Nelson: Noodles?! What noodles?!

Groundskeeper Willie: The noozle at the end of the hoose! ACK!

 

Ned: (on the phone) Howdily-doodely.

Homer: (recording) Greetings, friends. Do you wish to look--

(Ned hangs up)

Ned: Oh, it's that darn recording again.

Maude: Of course it was. It's been calling all night. Just unplug the phone.

(Ned turns out the light and the phone rings again.)

Ned: Howdily-di--

Homer: (recording) Greetings, friends--

(Ned hangs up)

Ned: Dang!

Maude: I told you to unplug the phone.

Ned: But it could be my mother! (the phone rings again; answers it) Howdy--

Homer: (recording) Greetings, friends--

(Ned hangs up)

Ned: Shoot!

Maude: That is it, Ned! If you don't unplug that phone right now, you're sleeping on the lawn.

Homer: (shouts through his window) Will you two shut up?! People are trying to sleep!

Nelson: (reads note) "Guess who likes you." (turns around to see Milhouse staring at him. Cut to shot of paramedics wheeling an unconscious Milhouse out on a gurney while everyone watches.)

Lisa: Milhouse, I'm so sorry.

Paramedic: He can't hear you now. We had to pack his ears with gauze.

 

23RD:

 

S8E5-

 

Bart After Dark

 

 

 

Lisa sees a report on the news that an oil tanker has crashed and has spilled thousands of gallons of oil on the beach. She asks Marge if she can go and help save the local wildlife, but Marge points out that there's no need to travel several miles to clean animals when they have pets to clean here. After begging, even saying that this can be her birthday and Christmas present, (even though she got a peach tree as her present) Marge reluctantly agrees, mainly after Lisa "plays" with her tree like she says. Bart and Homer stay at home and quickly turn the house into a pigsty. Bart goes to Springfield Park to play with his friends and their remote-control airplane. The airplane lands on the roof of a creepy looking house and Bart climbs over the fence to get the airplane. Bart ends up falling off the roof, and as he falls, he knocks over one of the house's gargoyle statues, which falls off and breaks. The owner of the house, Belle, demands compensation, she takes Bart back to his house and informs Homer what happened, while not wanting to take action at first, he does so when Belle says that she'll inform Marge. So Homer takes Bart to Belle's house and tells his son to do chores for her to make up for the damages.

 

Bart discovers that the house is actually a burlesque house (a place where men can have drinks, gamble, and watch racy stage shows featuring scantily-clad women and raunchy stand-up acts) and quickly takes a new enthusiasm to his job. Meanwhile, Marge and Lisa discover that the only people who can clean the animals are celebrities, who are doing so for photo opportunities. They are set to scrubbing rocks clean, which Marge is annoyed at as this is just like her chores. After a long and unfulfilling day of scrubbing rocks, which only keep getting covered in more oil, they head home. While they were away, Homer has learned about the true nature of the Burlesque house, but does nothing about Bart working there. Soon, the Flanders and Lovejoys confront him on the matter after Principal Skinner sees Bart in the reception room. Marge, who has arrived home, overhears this and is furious, she asks Homer why Bart was working at the Burlesque house in the first place. Homer tells Marge he made Bart work there to pay off Belle's statue and punished him because it's what Marge would have done. He thinks he did the right thing but she is still not impressed with Homer.]Marge asks (i.e. demands) Belle to close down the Burlesque house and leave, Belle refuses, pointing out that she's been living in Springfield for years, and so has the Burlesque, and she's got as much right as anyone else to be there. Calling a town meeting, Marge brings up the matter of the house and after embarrassing multiple important people through a humiliating slideshow presentation at the Springfield Town Hall , gets support of the town to destroy it, prompting an angry mob to gather.

 

As they are about to destroy the house, Bart convinces Homer to tell them to stop. He does so by breaking into a musical number, We Put the Spring in Springfield (accompanied by Belle and her backup dancers) which convinces the town not to destroy the house. However, Marge arrives with a bulldozer that she rented, having missed the song. She tries to make up her own song to express her views but to no avail, during which she accidentally puts the bulldozer into drive and damages the Burlesque house in the process.

 

To keep things from going further, Marge agrees to help Belle in order to pay for the damage. This results in her having to start working at the Burlesque herself, performing a ventriloquist act on stage.

22ND:

 

 

S4E17-

 

Last Exit To Springfield

 

 

 

While watching an installment of the McBain movie series, Bart expresses amazement at how evil the main antagonist is, only for Homer to point out that "there’s nobody that evil in real life". However, he failed to account for Mr. Burns, who's sitting in his office, laughing evilly at a window cleaner hanging on for dear life after the platform snapped in half. Burns then closes the blinds (a scream is heard outside) and telephones Smithers to find out why the trade union leader is still absent from a meeting to discuss the proposed union contract. Smithers informs his boss that the Union President hasn't been seen since he promised to clean up the union (it's implied that he was killed in the effort when a football player trips over the spot where the union buried him in a stadium). Looking over the contract, Burns is disgusted with the demands and reminisces about simpler times when he observed his grandfather treating his workers very badly, ignoring their warnings about unionizing. As such, Burns chooses to avenge his grandfather and take on the greedy union by revoking their dental plan.

 

 

Meanwhile, at Painless Dentistry, the Simpson kids are getting their teeth checked by Dr. Wolfe. During the visit, it is discovered Lisa needs braces. When Marge informs Homer, he tells her not to worry about the cost, as the union had won a dental plan during the strike of 1988 (a strike where Homer received a scar on the side of his head by the falling awning of a food truck; he also gained another scar on the back of his head from when he tried to sneak under the door of a pay toilet). Later, at a meeting of the local chapter of International Brotherhood of Jazz Dancers, Pastry Chefs and Nuclear Technicians, Carl announces that the newest contract requires the union to give up their dental plan in exchange for a free keg of beer for their meetings. Homer slowly comprehends that giving up their dental plan would result in his family losing their insurance and require him to pay for Lisa's braces out-of-pocket. Homer jumps into action, reminding everyone how their dental plan has helped them all, and how the new contract is an insult. Carl proposes Homer be the new union president and is promptly elected by a nearly unanimous vote. As his first action as the new union president, Homer rips up the contract agreeing to give up their dental plan. Burns monitors Homer (on the plant's security monitors, with a camera planted in the keg) and is impressed, asking Smithers which employee is the one taking action. A confused Smithers reminds Mr. Burns about all the encounters he's had with the Simpson family (such as the time they ruined his gubernatorial campaign, the time Burns ran over Bart with his car, the time Homer prevented a nuclear meltdown at the plant, and the time Marge painted a nude portrait of Burns) though Burns remembers none of it. The following morning, Homer's family all congratulate him for his new position as Union President and tell that this will give him a chance to gain better conditions for his co-workers (although Homer is more interested in making significant connections to "organized crime"). Lisa asks Homer if he'll be able to get the dental plan back for her braces and Homer tells her that it depends on whether or not he's a better negotiator than Burns. Unfortunately, everyone's hopes are dashed when Bart persuades Homer to exchange his Danish for a doorstop by simply swapping the adjectives ("Dad, I'll give you this delicious doorstop for your crummy old Danish."). The next day, Mr. Burns continues to mistake Homer for a brilliant tactician, confusing his attempt to get a Sugar Daddy off his back with exercising. Burns invites Homer to his office to try to reach an agreement, making several sly innuendos that hint towards his intent to bribe him, which Homer misconstrues as sexual advances. Homer quickly gets to his feet, saying he doesn't go for such "backdoor shenanigans" and promptly leaves.

 

After a seemingly terrifying prep before her anesthetization (and her dream in the form of a Beatles "Yellow Submarine" style drug trip), Lisa is given her new braces. Due to not having the dental plan available at the time, the only braces the Simpsons can afford are an old, outdated design that predate stainless steel and require having a couple of teeth removed from the back of her jaw.

 

The braces ended up being extremely noticeable, leading her to call herself a "monster", and even horrifying the photographer when her school pictures are taken. Meanwhile, Mr. Burns sends hired goons to Homer's in order to take him back to Burns Manor to negotiate. Mr. Burns gives Homer a tour of his mansion to give him an idea of what he is capable of (such as the largest T.V. in the free world and 1000 monkeys on typewriters). He also shows Homer his aviary, where we can see birds such as his vulture, and the spoonbill. Once they actually sit to talk, Homer is overcome with a pressing need to use the restroom due to the large amount of beer, coffee and watermelon he had drank during the tour. At first, Homer tries to ignore the urge, but due to the sounds of dripping water and Burns using various innuendos in his words, he asks where the bathroom is and immediately leaves; his delayed attempts to find it among the many rooms of the mansion cause Burns to think that Homer is unwilling to even hear him out. Infuriated by the failed meeting, Mr. Burns takes Homer back to his house via helicopter. As Burns departs, he tells Homer that he's going to crush him like a bug and then takes off laughing maniacally (before falling out of the helicopter and asking Homer to rub his legs until he can feel them again, ultimately being carried off by helicopter once again in a stretcher). Homer finally becomes fed up with having to meet with Burns and calls a meeting where he attempts to resign as president; the union misinterpret his words and immediately vote to strike. Burns is undeterred by the strike and tries several methods of breaking it up, such as bringing in 30's era strikebreakers (led by Grandpa, who proceeds to bore Burns with one of his rambling stories involving tying an onion to his belt), trying to disperse the strikers with a hose (which fails when pressure build up launches Burns into the air), he and Smithers run the plant themselves and buy loyal robot workers (which turn on Burns and Smithers). On an edition of Kent Brockman's talk show "Smartline", Burns is allowed an opening tirade and he threatens dire events if the strike does not conclude. Fifteen minutes later, Burns and Smithers march to a secret room in the power plant and turn off the power for the whole town. Everything quickly descends into anarchy with people looting stores and destroying property. Despite the cut power, the strikers, picketing outside the plant, don't lose hope and, led by Lisa, begin to sing. Burns, confident he has broken the union's spirit, steps out of his balcony to hear their reaction but is disarmed by their unity and optimism (in a parody of "How The Grinch Stole Christmas"). Finally giving up, Burns calls a meeting with Homer to concede to the union's demands on one condition: that Homer must resign as union president. Homer celebrates slapstick style, prompting Burns to finally realize that Homer is not the brilliant tactician he thought he was. Homer goes outside and tells his coworkers that a deal has been reached and they're going back to work and power is immediately returned to Springfield.

 

With the Simpson family insured again, Lisa's obsolete braces are replaced by the dental-plan-covered luxury braces, and she, the Simpson family and the dentist gather and laugh as the episode finishes (as he had left the 'laughing gas' on).

Best Quotes:

 

Lenny: So long, dental plan!

(Homer looks blankly as the words echo through his mind)

Lenny's Voice: Dental plan!

Marge's Voice: Lisa needs braces!

Lenny's Voice: Dental plan!

Marge's Voice: Lisa needs braces!

Lenny's Voice: Dental plan!

Marge's Voice: Lisa needs braces!

Lenny's Voice: Dental plan!

Marge's Voice: Lisa needs braces!

Lenny's Voice: Dental plan!

Marge's Voice: Lisa needs braces!

Lenny's Voice: Dental plan!

Marge's Voice: Lisa needs braces!

(Charlie drops a pencil in Homer's butt crack)

Carl: Bullseye!

Homer: Thanks a lot, Carl, now I've lost my train of thought!

Lenny's Voice: Dental plan!

Marge's Voice: Lisa needs braces!

Lenny's Voice: Dental plan!

Marge's Voice: Lisa needs braces!

Homer: If we give up our dental plan...I'll have to pay for Lisa's braces!

 

 

21ST:

 

S4E20-

 

Whacking Day

 

 

 

Principal Skinner lures Bart, Jimbo, Kearney, Dolph and Nelson to the school basement with the promise of free mountain bikes. When they get there, however, the boys are informed that they are being "swept under the rug" during an inspection by Superintendent Chalmers. Bart escapes through a ventilation shaft, to get outside and unlock the door for the rest of the bullies. But before he reaches the basement, he observes Groundskeeper Willie's tractor with the keys in the ignition and (after having mental conversation with said tractor) takes it for a joyride. He quickly loses control, bails out and the tractor strikes Chalmers at full speed in the rear. While being treated for the injury, Chalmers informs Skinner that the accident has cost him a promotion to Assistant Superintendent, which is going to a man named Holloway, who is described as a "drunk and a pill-popper". Skinner tries to change his mind but is silenced. Chalmers' is also not happy about the fact that the person who treated him was Lunch Lady Doris, rather than an actual nurse.

 

Furious at being cost a promotion, Skinner informs Bart that there won’t be a detention this time. This incident and its consequences were the last straw. Bart is officially expelled from Springfield Elementary.

 

Meanwhile, Kent Brockman announces that a celebration that was found to be "disgusting and puerile" by a group of hillbillies is coming up: Whacking Day. Every May 10, the people of Springfield drive snakes to the center of town and beat them to death. Lisa is appalled at the upcoming Whacking Day celebration, but her protests fall on deaf ears. She tries to appeal to Homer to not lower himself to the level of others, but Homer is set on participating in Whacking Day.

 

Bart remains expelled from Springfield Elementary for striking superintendent Chalmers, and his parents try enrolling him in a private Christian school. He gets in trouble and is expelled almost immediately for singing "Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit" when asked for a psalm, and is chased from the building by the teacher and other students. Marge then decides to homeschool Bart. For one of her assignments, Marge gives Bart "Johnny Tremain" to read, which was a favorite of hers when she was a little girl. Bart gains interest in the book when learning the protagonist was deformed by being wounded in a war, and afterwards starts becoming a serious student, even missing an episode of Itchy and Scratchy to read the book. Due to his vast interest in the book, Marge takes Bart on a "field trip" to Olde Springfield Towne. While there, their tour guide (using a slide show) shows a photo of Jebediah Springfield leading an attack of Fort Ticonderoga and then creating Whacking Day on May 10, 1775. However, Bart quickly realises Jebediah was leading the assault on Fort Ticonderoga the day he supposedly created Whacking Day, and questions how he could have been in two places at once. At a loss for words, the Squeaky-Voiced Teen in charge of the tour calls security to have Bart and Marge kicked out.

 

Barry White (who Mayor Quimby wrongly introduces as Larry White) arrives to begin festivities, he originally says he's honored, but when he discovers what the holiday is about, he is disgusted and exclaims, "You people make me sick!" to the ignorant joy of the assembled crowd, and replaced by Miss Springfield. Bart finds out about the true origin of Whacking Day. He suggests to Lisa that they can lure the snakes to safety by playing music with a lot of bass and putting the stereo speakers to the ground. Homer's record collection, which boasts such gems as Tiny Tim, The Chipmunks, and A Castrato Christmas, leaves much to be desired, but they get some assistance from Barry White (who was conveniently walking by). Bart brings their karaoke machine and speaker outside, turns the volume up to eleven and places the speakers face down on the ground. Then, with White's deep vocals and Lisa's bass guitar playing, they attract hundreds of snakes into the house to the tune of White's 1974 hit song “Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe”.

 

The crowd arrives in pursuit, but they are soon turned around on the subject of Whacking Day by Bart's newfound knowledge. It turns out that the day was actually invented in 1924 as an excuse to beat up the Irish, a fact confirmed by a fellow Irish man. Lisa implores the crowd further, pointing out how the presence of snakes has been beneficial to the community, reuslting in the crowd cheering for the snakes. Mayor Quimby, not knowing that the city has changed its heart, shows up with pre-whacked snakes, but is booed by the crowd. Angered, Quimby calls them "fickle mush-heads"; the crowd admit that he is correct and cheer for him, while the surviving snakes flee away to freedom. Skinner is impressed with Bart's efforts, and welcomes him back to school where he will be reunite with the rest of the students...until Skinner realizes that he forgot about the other students locked in the basement fall-out shelter. While the bullies hold a support group about their oppressive behavior, Skinner and Willie drive to the school with boxes of mountain bikes and plan to flee to the border in case the bullies are found dead in the basement.

 

20TH:

 

S2E15-

 

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

 

 

 

After watching the latest McBain movie, Grampa Simpson suffers a case of a mild heart attack while complaining to the theater's manager. This prompts him to confess a long-hidden secret: Homer has a half-brother.

 

As Grampa explains, he had met a carnival floozy before marrying Homer's mother. They had a son, and left him at the Shelbyville Orphanage. Determined to find his half-brother, Homer and his family go to the orphanage and find out that Abe's son was adopted by a couple named Mr. and Mrs. Powell and named Herbert.

 

Herb Powell (who looks just like Homer, except with more hair and a little less gut) is the head of the Powell Motors car company (in danger of being taken over by the Japanese because of otherwise poor management and the use of names from Greek goddesses on cars that doesn't appeal to the average American). He is very rich, but is quite unhappy not knowing who he is and where he comes from. He is overjoyed upon hearing of his half-brother and invites the entire Simpson family to stay at his mansion in Detroit.

 

Bart, Lisa, and Maggie are enthralled by Herb's wealthy lifestyle (although Marge constantly worries about spoiling her kids), and Herb thinks that Homer, being an "average" American, is the perfect person to design a new car for his company, which has been losing business due to foreign car manufacturers. Herb introduces Homer to his company's design team, who soon use his lack of vehicle knowledge to try and design 'their' perfect vehicle. Back in the hospital, Abe is informed by Homer about Herb's wealth and business. He laments in not keeping him over Homer, whom he knew would amount to nothing. Before he leaves, Abe warns him to behave himself and not do anything dumb that could ruin and humiliate Herb.

 

When Herb asks Homer how the car design is coming along Homer can't give him a straight answer. Herb feels that Homer is not being forceful enough with his ideas, and gives Homer a pep talk. Pretty soon, Herb has invigorated Homer, who returns to the designers and begins demanding weird items like bubble domes, fins, and several horns that play "La Cucaracha". While Homer becomes more of a businessman, Herb spends time with Marge and the kids, becoming more of a family man like Homer. Herb's money and prestige enables the kids to enjoy life in style, but Marge is worried they may be becoming spoiled. Herb reassures her they will be gratified and wonders how Homer is holding up.

 

Later on, Herb gets a call from his lead engineer asking him to come down to Powell Motors at once. He voices out concerns about Homer because he's causing them trouble by asking for items unsuitable in designing a car and even ignoring their suggestions when they tried to get him to think practical. The latest complaint came when he rejected one of the engineer's drawing of the revised plans for the car by ripping it up and drawing his own monstrosity. The lead engineer demands that Herb deals with Homer at once or else the engineers will quit. He refuses to hear any of it and demand they treat Homer right because he is his brother.

 

At the unveiling of "The Homer", Herb is horrified to discover that the car is a "monstrosity" that costs $82,000. Herb's company bankrupts and is taken over by Kumatsu Motors (a Japanese car company), his mansion is sold off and he leaves regretting that he ever met his brother. As he departs Detroit on a bus, Homer tries to apologize. However, Herb refuses to forgive Homer and angrily remarks that as far as he is concerned, he "[has]no brother". While Marge tries to console a depressed Homer, Lisa laments on Herb's life in how he was a successful businessman with a wealthy life until he discovered he was a Simpson. When a healthy Abe comes over from Springfield to meet with Herb in a cab, he discovers to his disgust that Homer ruined his brother's life by bankrupting him by creating a car that is a disaster. Abe decries Homer for screwing up everything and declares he "knew [he'd] blow it", heading back to Springfield in the same cab rather than in the car with the rest of the family. In the end, while Homer drives the family home, Bart tells him that the car he built was great. He becomes relieved that at least one person he cares about seems to like it.

19TH:

 

S1E5-

 

Bart the General

 

 

The episode begins inside the Simpsons' iamspamspamami where Lisa is baking cupcakes to bring to Miss Hoover for her birthday at school. Once at the schoolyard, Lisa shows off her cupcakes to her friends and one of Nelson's minions steals the cupcakes and begins to eat them. Bart comes over to Lisa's rescue and attacks the bully (White Weasel and friend of Nelson Muntz). Nelson then comes over to break up the fight; he picks up Bart by the shirt collar with Bart blindly swinging. One of Bart's punches lands and gives Nelson a bloody nose. Everyone gasps at seeing this. Nelson tells Bart he will get him after school. Inside the classroom, a worried Bart imagines about the showdown with Nelson after school where there is nothing Bart can do to defeat Nelson.

 

In the lunchroom, everyone hails Bart as a hero. A modest and nervous Bart downplays the situation. Nelson walks up to a trembling Bart to remind him about the fight after school. Back in the classroom, Bart daydreams again this time about his own funeral in which his family mourns him, especially Homer, who has then grown a conscience and realized that his son was more important than work. Lisa places a cupcake on Bart, reflecting on how the fight was her responsibility. Nelson notices this and pounds him one last time. Back in reality, after school, a nervous Bart darts around the playground hoping to avoid Nelson. Bart turns a corner only to see Nelson standing right in front of him. Nelson promptly pummels Bart, throws him in a rubbish bin, and informs Bart to meet again tomorrow after school for another beating.

 

The garbage bin with Bart inside rolls to a stop in front of the Simpson house, and a weary Bart stumbles out and goes inside the house. Once inside, Bart walks past his parents in the living room and heads to the bathroom to cry. Marge sends Homer in to console Bart. Marge eavesdrops on the conversation and when it is revealed that Nelson is picking on Bart, she bursts in and gives Bart advice. She advises him to talk nicely to Nelson and try to settle things like gentlemen. Homer disagrees and takes Bart into another room and shows him how to fight Simpson's style (i.e. dirty).

 

The next day, after school, in the schoolyard, Bart uses Homer's advice and flings mud in Nelson's eye, which only makes Nelson furious. Nelson beats up Bart again and shoves his hat into his mouth (off screen), throws him into another bin and rolls it away. Once again in front of the Simpson house, the bin rolls to a stop. Lisa is sitting out on the sidewalk and suggests Bart seek Grandpa Simpson's advice.

 

Bart goes to the retirement home and visits Grandpa. Grandpa tells Bart to just stand up for himself. An elderly neighbor named Jasper enters Grandpa's room and demands Grandpa's newspaper. Grandpa says no and stands up for himself. The two have a tug-of-war over the newspaper and Jasper wins. Realizing that Bart standing up for himself might not work, Grandpa says he is friends with someone who can help. Grandpa and Bart go over to Herman's Military Antiques to ask Herman for advice. Herman tells them Bart needs to start a small army and they begin to devise a plan.

 

At school, a note is passed around class. The note tells the kids that anyone fed up with Nelson should meet at Bart's tree house after school. Inside the tree house, a group of kids along with Herman and Grandpa wait for Bart to arrive. Bart stumbles in after being beaten up again as well as coughing up his hat and rallies the recruits and encourages them to join in his battle plan against Nelson. A montage of army marches, drills, obstacle courses, and training with Bart as the drill sergeant commences. Back inside the tree house, days later, the battle plan is being finalized by Bart, Lisa, Herman, and Grandpa. Milhouse steps in and informs Bart of Nelson's whereabouts, and the battle plan begins. Outside on the streets, Bart confronts Nelson and out of nowhere Bart's army appears with water balloons much to Nelson's surprise. Water bombing takes place and Nelson is captured. Bart wheels a tied up Nelson in a wagon back to the Simpson house. Bart tells Nelson that he hopes he has learned his lesson and reaches to untie him, but Nelson says as soon as he is free he is going to pound Bart.

 

Inside the Simpson house, Herman draws up a peace treaty between Bart and Nelson which they both sign. Marge steps in and hands out cupcakes everyone. In the conclusion of the episode, Bart sits on a table in a library and finishes the episode by telling the viewers about the seriousness of war.

18TH:

 

S8E15-

 

Homer's Phobia

 

 

 

The Simpsons need money to pay for a $900 repair after Bart wrecks the dryer and damages the gas line. Marge tries to sell a family heirloom — an "authentic" American Civil War doll — to Cockamamie's, a campy collectibles shop. Marge is disappointed when John, the shop owner, reveals her precious heirloom is a cheap liquor bottle of little value. The Simpsons take an instant liking to John, who is invited to their house to see campy items that the family owns.

 

The next morning, Homer tells Marge that he likes John and suggests they invite him and "his wife" over some time. When Marge informs Homer that John doesn't have a wife and is a homosexual, he is horrified. Homer's attitude towards John changes completely, and he refuses to join the tour of Springfield that John has arranged. The rest of the family joins John for the tour and enjoy his company. Bart starts wearing Hawaiian shirts, dancing in women's wigs and eating cupcakes with strawberry icing instead of chocolate icing; which makes Homer worry that Bart might be gay.

 

Hoping to ensure Bart likes girls, Homer forces him to stare at a cigarette billboard featuring scantily clad women. This backfires when Bart craves slim cigarettes, considered effeminate because they are marketed to women. Homer takes Bart to a steel mill to revel in a manly environment; however, the entire workforce is gay, which Homer learns when the steel mill turns into a gay disco during breaks.

 

 

Desperate, Homer tries to snap Bart out of his brainwashing state by taking him deer hunting with Moe and Barney. When they cannot find any deer, they decide to shoot reindeer at Santa's Village instead. The reindeer violently attack the hunters, who are genuinely afraid and drop their macho posturing. With help from Lisa and Marge, John uses a Japanese Santa Claus robot to scare away the reindeer and save the hunting party. Homer is grateful to John for saving their lives and grudgingly accepts him. As John drives everyone home, Homer tells Bart he is fine with however he chooses to live his life. Bart is confused until Lisa explains Homer thinks that Bart is gay.

 

Before the credits roll, the episode is dedicated to all the steelworkers of America, telling them to keep reaching for that rainbow.

17TH:

 

S5E22-

 

Secrets of A Successful Marriage

 

 

At Lenny's house, Homer and his buddies are playing poker, and Homer ends up folding. Moe initially is overjoyed at winning the poker round, but then expresses irritation when he notices that Homer doesn't even realize he had a good hand (a straight flush, more specifically) before Carl tells Moe to calm down as there is no reason to get outraged at Homer, before admitting that Homer may be a little slow. Homer debates with himself and doesn't reply until after midnight that everyone else has left, with Lenny, who was downstairs at the time to get a snack, noticing Homer's presence, and notes that Homer really is slow. Homer debates himself again before being cut off by Lenny bluntly telling him to get the hell out of his house. He plans to go to a class, but when he gets there, he sees Lenny and Moe teaching a class, he wants to teach one too. The adult learning center manager notices he is married and asks Homer to start a class called "Secrets of a Successful Marriage" where he explains how to live a perfect marriage, but he doesn't know what to say. Then he chooses to tell stories of Marge and his love life. When Marge finds out, she makes Homer promise he won't do it again.

 

However, his students by now are more interested in the secrets than learning anything so they threaten to leave, he tells more secrets and invites them to dinner to see what a successful marriage is like. Marge gets angrier and coldly throws them all out, including Homer. Homer can't come back in the house because she can't trust him anymore and he lives in the treehouse. He is so heartbroken, that he starts to go mad by making a fake Marge out of a plant and his clothes become worn and ripped. Meanwhile, Moe had heard that Marge broke up with Homer, the bartender moves in with her. When Homer seems ready to walk out of Marge's life for good he realizes something and tells her what he can give her that no one else can, complete and total dependence. Seeing this, Moe flees the scene. Marge doesn't believe that to be a good thing but Homer disagrees, they have been separated for only a day but he is already filthy, hungry and insane and that more than anything he can't afford to ever lose her trust because he clearly can't survive by himself. Marge eventually forgives him and he goes back home.

 

The next morning, Moe asks Marge through the iamspamspamamiwindow "if she is really happy". When he sees Homer, he screams and runs off.

16TH:

 

S5E17-

 

Bart Gets an Elephant

 

 

Marge wakes up and after seeing how messy the house is (there is food, dirty clothes and splatters everywhere) declares that everyone is to cancel their plans and help clean up. During the cleaning day Lisa is upset, as they are stuck inside while everyone is having fun. Homer tries to clean the basement by using the leaf blower and also using cleaning fluids which make him hallucinate. Bart lazily wipes down the walls and tables wishing they buy a new house, he even scrubs a painting. Later on, Bart (thinks) he wins a radio contest but it was only Grandpa. At the end of the day, the house is sparkling, Marge tells them they can do whatever they want now but the family is too exhausted. The next day Bart wins a KBBL radio contest after the station's DJs, Bill and Marty, call him up. They give Bart the choice of two prizes: $10,000 in cash or the "gag" prize: a full-grown African bush elephant. Bart unexpectedly picks the elephant, this surprises his parents as well as Bill and Marty, who (understandably) believed that no one would ever actually take the gag prize, and thus have no elephant to give away. Instead, they offer Bart the money and a variety of other prizes, all of which he refuses, saying that he only wants the elephant, they just throw him out. Word spreads throughout town about Bill and Marty's refusal to give Bart the elephant, KBBL's ratings are soon at an all time low and the studio receives many angry letters and bombs, prompting their employer to give them a choice: either arrange for the delivery of the elephant, or lose their jobs to a DJ machine. Not wanting to lose their jobs, they select on the former option.

 

Bart names his new elephant Stampy and Homer ties him to a post in the backyard. Lisa complains that it's cruel to keep animals like elephants as prisoners, while Homer's concerned that Stampy will eat him out of house and home. They give Stampy peanuts but becomes exhausted due to a peanut only diet so they take him to the arboretum where he strips the trees clean. In an effort to offset food costs, Bart and Homer exhibit Stampy by charging customers to see and ride him, but fail to earn enough to cover even one day's food bill. The customers all flee after Homer raises their prices to exorbitant levels. Homer declares they can't afford the elephant and must sell him, much to Bart's dismay. The family is visited by a representative of a game reserve, who says their acres of open land similar to the African Savannah would be a good habitat for the elephant to live in. However, Homer immediately dismisses this after the representative explains that the family won't receive any money for Stampy since the reserve itself is a nonprofit organization (as they lost so much money just to care for Stampy).

 

 

A wildlife poacher named Mr. Blackheart then offers to buy Stampy. Homer wants to take the money, but Bart and Lisa are against the idea, especially after Mr. Blackheart openly admits to being an ivory dealer. Homer and Mr. Blackheart reach a deal, but Bart and Stampy run off, wreaking havoc throughout Springfield, and are soon nowhere to be found. The family begins searching and finds them at the Springfield Tar Pits, where Homer still plans to sell Stampy to the ivory dealer for the money. Bart and Lisa then ask if Homer would like to be sold to an ivory dealer himself, to which Homer responds positively, before finding out that he is stuck in one of the tar pits. Bart orders Stampy to free Homer, to which he does (after first pulling out Barney Gumble). A grateful Homer finally agrees to donate the elephant to the wildlife reserve.

 

While at the reserve, Stampy starts headbutting the other elephants, cheered on by Bart. When Marge expresses confusion by this, thinking that Stampy's unhappy, the representative explains that Stampy's likely very happy and explains further by pointing out how, in many ways, animals are a lot like humans: some animals act badly because they have had a hard life (such as from being mistreated) but, like some humans, some animals are just jerks (which he says while Homer is headbutting him, presumably still outraged over not getting any money).

15TH:

 

S3E14-

 

Lisa the Greek

 

 

Rapidly eating high-cholesterol, high-sodium, high-fat snacks, Homer sits down to another Sunday of football. Lisa enters the room to show her dad a shoe box apartment she made for her Malibu Stacy dolls. Homer isn't at all interested, especially after Denver – on whom he has bet $20 – gives up a quick touchdown.

 

Lisa complains to Marge that her Dad doesn't show interest in what she wants to do, Marge suggests spending some "quality time" with Homer by taking up his interests. Lisa plans to join her father on the couch, and an annoyed Homer reluctantly agrees. By now, New England is crushing Denver 35-7 and has just forced another Broncos fumble. In the end, Denver loses 55-10, and Homer angrily blames the TV (and sports anchorman "Smooth" Jimmy Apollo) for losing his bet.

 

Homer chooses to try again on the Miami-Cincinnati game and calls a 1-900 "guaranteed pick" service for advice; however, it soon becomes clear the only thing "The Coach" wants is the caller's money. A desperate Homer turns to Lisa to pick a winner, and she picks the Dolphins, and Homer quickly calls Moe's Tavern to place his $50 wager. Lisa questions Homer about the call, and likens sports betting to putting a lot of toppings on ice cream. In the end, the Dolphins win, and Homer and Lisa celebrate.

 

Meanwhile, Marge has taken Bart shopping and does everything possible to humiliate Bart: buying terrible and nerdy clothes and ignoring his distaste, opening his dressing room door while he is in his underwear while customers watch and without closing it, overlooking any comments he has about getting beaten up if he wears these outfits and leaving Bart in the family car to be tormented by Jimbo, Nelson, Kearney and Dolph, thinking they are his friends.

 

Lisa becomes very adept at choosing winners of football games, and Homer cleans up, much to Moe's annoyance. Homer declares every Sunday "Daddy-Daughter Day." With his new money, he starts buying expensive presents for the family and treating them to fine dining. Marge eventually wants to know where Homer's extra income is coming from and gets the truth, but Homer says it's not really a big deal.

 

The next day at breakfast, Lisa says she is looking forward to spending the "Daddy-Daughter Day" after Super Bowl XXVI going hiking at Mount Springfield. However, Homer announces he had already made plans with Barney to go bowling, and that "Daddy-Daughter Day" is over until the next football season. Lisa realizes that all Homer really wanted was to exploit her prognostic abilities to help him gamble. Marge is upset at Homer and Bart taunts him with the new swearing device that Homer bought for him. Heartbroken and plagued by a dream that she grows up to be a three times divorced, tired, chain-smoking casino hopper, Lisa then gives up all the Malibu Stacy toys that Homer bought for her.

 

Homer realizes he needs to make amends with Lisa, but she is too hurt to even talk with him. When pressed by Homer, she makes a cryptic prediction as to the winner of the game: If she still loves Homer, Washington will win; if she doesn't, Buffalo will win. Homer becomes even more anxious over his relationship with Lisa as Super Bowl Sunday approaches. When he hears Lisa mournfully play her saxophone, he leaves for Moe's Tavern to watch the game.

 

Homer mopes throughout the game, especially after Buffalo jumps to a 14-7 halftime lead. The game is highlighted by a corny halftime commercial for Duff Beer, an equally silly halftime show and Troy McClure's promo for his new situation comedy, which premieres right after the Super Bowl. In the end, Washington rallies in the second half and scores at the last second to win the game. Homer is happy and Bart proudly says to Lisa that she still loves Homer, in which she agrees.

 

Homer cancels his bowling date with Barney and – on the Sunday after the Super Bowl – makes good on his promise to go hiking up Mount Springfield with Lisa. Though he quickly becomes winded during the hike, he still appreciates spending time with Lisa... and then exhaustedly asks if they can go home.

 

During the end credits, a marching band version of the theme is played.

14TH:

 

S5E1-

 

Homer's Barbershop Quartet

 

 

 

During the Springfield Swap Meet, Bart and Lisa notice an album cover showing Homer. They ask Homer when he recorded an album. Homer answers that he recorded an album in 1985. He mentions that every afternoon at Moe's, Chief Wiggum, Principal Skinner, Apu, and he would get together and sing.

 

Homer says that his group was a barbershop quartet, which was popular everywhere, even at church. The group initially started in Springfield, but quickly found national fame after their new agent, Nigel, approached them and said everyone in the group could sing except Chief Wiggum, who was too "Village People." The group held auditions for a replacement, with Grampa (who did a swing version of Old MacDonald had a Farm), Groundskeeper Willie (who sang Petula Clark's Downtown), Jasper (who sang Theme To a Summer Place with made up lyrics), and Chief Wiggum (in disguise, performing If I Can Walk With the Animals) all making unsuccessful attempts. When the barbershop trio returned to Moe's, they heard Barney singing in a beautiful Irish voice, and were amazed. After Barney is chosen as the new member, people still liked Chief Wiggum. After hearing him sing, however, the audience warmed up to Barney.

 

The group considered various names to call themselves, deciding their name should be witty initially, but should become less funny each time you heard it. They finally agreed on calling themselves "The Be Sharps."

 

Back in modern times, leaving the swap meet, Homer says he sold a spare tire, but unfortunately, a tire on the car blows out and Marge has to take a long walk to a gas station. Homer tells the rest of the story: he tried writing a new song with little luck, until Marge got a "Baby on Board" sign. This inspired Homer to write his Baby on Board song inspired by the fad. The group sang it in studio and put it on their first album, With the Be Sharps, a parody of The Beatles album "With the Beatles". The song became a number one hit. The group arrived in New York in 1986 to perform at the centennial of the Statue of Liberty (parodying the Beatles´ presentation in 1964 on the Ed Sullivan Show). The Be Sharps also won a Grammy for "Outstanding Soul, Spoken Word, or Barbershop Album of the Year" from David Crosby, and Homer got to meet George Harrison, but was distracted by the brownie in his hand. Meanwhile, Wiggum's singing career (now dead) was being mocked by numerous talk show hosts, much to his rage.

 

The name of their second album was Bigger Than Jesus, (the album cover parodied The Beatles' Abbey Road and the title parodied John Lennon saying the Beatles were bigger than Jesus). Unfortunately, while the Be Sharps were becoming popular, Marge had problems raising the children, and the Be Sharps had problems of their own. They had creative disputes, with Apu and Homer showing tension during a recording session and also through Barney's new girlfriend (a parody of Yoko Ono). The two recorded a "Revolution 9"-like piece, with Barney's girlfriend reciting "Number 8" over and over atop tape loops of Barney's belches. The group lost its popularity and split up, with Principal Skinner returning to Springfield Elementary School, Apu returning to the Kwik-E-Mart to continue gouging customers, Barney returning to Moe's with his girlfriend, and Homer returning to his job at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant after a chicken named Queenie took his place. Despite numerous unanswered questions, like where the money Homer made went and why he never hung up his gold records, Homer simply sends the kids to bed and tells them he'll answer their questions another day.

 

After Homer takes another look at the album, the group reunites to perform a rooftop concert at Moe's. The singing causes the crowd to stop what they are doing (much to The Human Fly's annoyance), and also had a "newspaper saleskid" scamming a walker into buying a newspaper under the pretense that the Be Sharps had an article (despite their not being any actual news about their comeback or even the Be Sharps being mentioned at all). During the concert, George Harrison pulls up in his limousine, sees them and says, "It's been done," referring to the impromptu concert on the Apple offices rooftop performed by The Beatles during their Get Back recording sessions. Before the episode finishes, it is implied that Chief Wiggum, although impressed at the sight, nonetheless plans to have the group arrested (or at least tear gassed). Upon finishing their song, Homer then thanks everyone for attending, and then proceeds to jokingly hope that they have passed the audition, although Barney didn't get the joke.

13TH:

 

S3E6-

 

Like Father, Like Clown

 

 

After finishing his show, Krusty decides to free himself up for the night and cancels all his plans, including a thank-you dinner with Bart. Krusty is reminded of how Bart saved him from prison, but still cancels and not for the first time. This makes Bart extremely upset even to the point of turning in his membership badge. He sends a letter to Krusty and after his secretary reads it, she is very disappointed and forces Krusty to go. Marge tells Bart that Krusty is coming and he instantly cheers up.

 

At dinner, the Simpsons ask Krusty to say grace and he starts to recite a prayer in Hebrew. Realizing that Krusty is Jewish, Lisa speaks of his heritage, making Krusty break down in tears. After some convincing from the family to why he is so depressed about it, Krusty tells the family his real name, Herschel Krustofsky, and describes his upbringing in the Lower East Side of Springfield. His father is a rabbi at Temple Beth Springfield synagogue and he always wanted Krusty to follow in his footsteps. Krusty, however, always wanted to be a clown, angering and disappointing his father who was determined to stop him. When Krusty was looking through the window of a joke shop his father dragged him away and when he told a joke in class his father strangled him. One night Krusty got a chance to perform at a rabbi's convention but unfortunately for him his father had turned up. His performance was going well but he was sprayed with seltzer by one of the rabbi's, his make-up fell off and his father recognized him and disowned him. After the story is over, Krusty becomes very emotional. He ends up outstaying his welcome at the Simpsons, not leaving until after 1am. He finally leaves and tries calling his dad, but is afraid that his dad will reject him again, so he doesn't say anything.

 

Bart and Lisa notice him getting increasingly depressed (even to the point of crying during his TV show) so they agree to try to locate and reunite Krusty with his father. They first ask Rev. Lovejoy for help (he thinks they want to confirm until they mention Krusty's father) as it turns out they know each other very well as they do a radio show together and gives them the address and visit Temple Beth Springfield to speak with him. He welcomes them in but the moment Bart and Lisa mention that it's regarding his son he declares that he has no son and slams the door on them. They then call him on a radio studio where a framed "Larry Davis Experience" gold record hangs on the wall. Bart pretending to be a person called Dimitri living in Springfield asks if a person should be forgiven for doing something different, while the others say that they deserve forgiveness Krusty's father is still mad at him and refuses to forgive him. After several tries, they finally convince Hyman to forgive Krusty by saying a quote from Sammy Davis, Jr., a Jewish entertainer just like Krusty, in which the entertainer makes a passionate speech about the struggles that the Jewish people have overcome. This finally convinces Rabbi Krustofsky that entertainers have a place in Jewish heritage. Bart, Lisa, and the now proud father meet Krusty on the set of his show, where they reconcile their differences together.

12TH:

 

S5E9-

 

The Last Temptation of Homer

 

 

Bart plays a prank on the teachers by making all the parking space lines too close to each car and therefore not leaving enough space for the teachers to get out of their cars. Afterwards, Mrs. Krabappel (claiming that there is no way to prove who did that) knows that Bart is behind what happened and because of that Bart is forced to be the first to answer every question for the rest of the year as punishment. Mrs. Krabappel then tells Bart to read the word 'photosynthesis' on the chalkboard (despite Martin raising his hand) but Bart is unable due to sight issues.

 

Meanwhile, Homer, along with Lenny, Carl, and Charlie, uses a claw to grab a worker's butt; however, the worker is working on something important and a nuclear meltdown occurs when he is grabbed. The nuclear meltdown becomes a potentially fatal disaster when they discover that the emergency exit is actually painted on a wall. After they narrowly escape, Charlie asks Mr. Burns to install a real emergency exit. Mr. Burns chooses to fire him instead and Charlie is deported to an unknown land (possibly Saudi Arabia), where he is forced to dance for the people inside an Arabic Palace.

 

Dr. Hibbert tells Marge that Bart has a lazy eye and many other disorders which is why he is an underachiever. In the process of addressing Bart's array of maladies, he is turned into a nerd, with orthopedic shoes and thick glasses. Bart then becomes a stereotypical nerd and is picked on by the bullies.

 

In the meantime, Mr. Burns hired an illegal "alien" named Zutroy to replace Charlie. After Zutroy is arrested by the Department of Labor and deported to his native country, they demand that Mr. Burns make changes in the power plant's policies including hire at least one female worker. Mr. Burns then hires Mindy Simmons, an attractive redhead who Homer quickly develops feelings for. Homer suffers from hallucinations involving Mindy, and obsesses over her hinting that he is falling in love with her. Homer tries to split up with Mindy, using methods such as talking to her (to find out they have nothing in common), writing on his hand, and "think unsexy thoughts," but fails when he finds out she likes donuts, beer, TV, and even makes noises similar to Homer's. It doesn't help when Homer's guardian angel (in the form of someone Homer reveres... Colonel Klink from TV's Hogan's Heroes), whose intention was for Homer to see how miserable he'd have been had he married Mindy instead of Marge, messes up and shows how much better his and Marge's life would have been instead (Homer and Mindy are married and wealthy while Marge becomes President of the United States with record approval).

 

Meanwhile, Bart is losing his cool and Martin is able to show Bart the hideout where all nerds go to in order to escape bullies. Mr. Burns is now trying to find out which two employees will go to the energy convention in Capital City but all of them are getting along terribly except for Homer and Mindy and to make matters worse they have to go together. Back at home, Marge tells Bart his two weeks of nerdiness are up and Bart goes back to school to tell the bullies, but they still beat him up anyway.

 

In Capital City, Homer and Mindy share a hotel room. At the convention, Homer and Mindy are crowned King and Queen of Energy and win a prize to Madame Chao's Chinese Restaurant the "sexiest Chinese restaurant in Capital City". There, Homer gets a fortune cookie saying 'you will find happiness with a new love', and Homer fears he will dump Marge and marry Mindy. Back at the hotel Homer and Mindy acknowledge their mutual attraction and kiss. Mindy tells Homer to do what his heart tells him. It is later revealed that Homer invited Marge to the hotel, and they start to have sex while "Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe" by Barry White plays. When the teenage hotel worker spies on them and makes suggestive noises, an angry Homer decks the nosy worker hard in the eye.

11TH:

 

S4E6-

 

Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie

 

 

Homer and Marge go to the kids' school for Parent-Teacher night, with Marge reluctantly going to Bart's class, after Homer's persistent attempt to see Lisa's teacher. Although Lisa is given a good review by Miss Hoover and Homer is even applauded as a father, by stark contrast Mrs. Krabappel is appalled at Bart's bad behavior and forces Marge to write on the blackboard. She tells both parents that if Bart doesn't change soon then he'll look forward to nothing but a wasted life (i.e. an un-entertaining male stripper), but if the parents act now he could be the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. On the car ride home, Marge becomes concerned about Bart's attitude and how Homer rarely punishes him. When they get home, they discover that Bart has broken Grampa's dentures while they were at the parent teacher meeting and Marge wants him sent to bed without supper as punishment. Bart seems to change his ways until Homer sneaks him some dinner and Bart promises to be good. The next day, Lisa learns about the upcoming Itchy and Scratchy movie and she and Bart immediately get tickets.

 

Later, Marge and Lisa go shopping, during which Bart causes more trouble at home and tricks his father into not punishing him. When the girls return, Marge learns of what has happened and orders Homer to punish Bart the next time he misbehaves as Homer agrees and decides to make the punishment stick. When Bart is asked to watch Maggie but doesn't (leading her to take the family car on a joyride and crash into the local prison, freeing several convicts), Homer angrily punishes him by forbidding him from seeing the Itchy & Scratchy movie for the rest of his life and tearing up his movie ticket. Bart asks Homer if he can have a different punishment such as a spanking, but Homer refuses because he's still grounded. After the film's release, Bart becomes extremely angry and jealous, sad, upset, and depressed that he fails to see the movie as everyone around him raves about it, with thanks to Homer. After two months, Marge and Lisa beg Homer to change his mind to let Bart see the movie because of Bart still being upset. Marge feels the punishment has made Bart learn his lesson, but Homer still refuses to ever let his son go because he already promise her about the punishment stick to make Bart become Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Bart even sneaks over to the Aztec theater to buy a ticket, but learns that Homer told the movie theater not to sell Bart a ticket in two months ago, then Bart was heartbroken and becomes even more depressed.

 

Eight months (and nine Academy Awards) later, the movie officially leaves the theaters. Bart sadly admits that Homer has won, but Homer explains to Bart that they "both won" and that by using this punishment, Bart is in no doubt headed for a better life.

 

The episode then flashes forward to forty years in the future, where Bart (now he actually is Chief Justice of the Supreme Court) and Homer now the senior citizen walk down a street, and see that a theater has re-released "The Itchy & Scratchy Movie." Homer believes that Bart has learned his lesson, and the two enter the theater and watch the movie happily together as Homer gets confused about Itchy.

10TH:

 

S5E3-

 

Homer Goes To College

 

 

Inspectors from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission arrive at Springfield Nuclear Power Plant to conduct a surprise evaluation of employee competence using the simulated workstation in their van. Smithers, reacting quickly, gives the three least-gifted employees (including Homer) the busy-work task of guarding a bee in the basement to hide them from the inspectors. However, Homer accidentally breaks the jar containing the bee and it escapes. Homer chases after the bee and emerges from a manhole right next to the van (after the bee stings him in the butt), thus being noticed by the inspectors in spite of Smithers' best efforts.

 

When Homer gets his turn in the van's simulator, he manages to cause a meltdown even though the van doesn't have any nuclear material in it. Mr. Burns first tries to bribe his way out of the situation, but the inspectors are unmoved (despite the fact that Mayor Quincy was bribed and cancels the inspection even though it's already happening). The inspectors rule that Homer needs college training in nuclear physics to be qualified for his job or they will be force to take legal action. Burns then tries to bodily eject the inspectors from his office by using his trapdoor, but that doesn't work due to his office having been rearranged. Homer applies to several colleges, but is rejected by every one. Burns then exerts some personal influence to get Homer admitted to Springfield University.

 

Now a college student, Homer is under the impression (thanks to watching movies such as School of Hard Knockers) that it will be like a cliché college comedy, where it is his duty to hassle nerds and stand up to the overbearing old fuddy-duddy dean. In fact, there is no jock/nerd enmity at Springfield University, and the dean, Bobby Peterson, is a young, hip, laid-back, go-getter—completely non-stereotypical—who plays bass guitar and encourages the students to call him by his first name. However, this doesn't stop Homer from nurturing a resentment for the dean.

 

Homer also delights in hassling the ever-patient Nuclear Physics Professor and causes a meltdown in class when the professor asks him to demonstrate how a proton accelerator works. Dean Peterson then assigns Homer to supplemental tutoring, and Homer meets the nerd trio of Benjamin, Doug, and Gary. Unlike the dean, the nerds are totally stereotypical, hanging out on their computers all day while telling jokes from Monty Python routines.

 

In an effort to get the nerds to loosen up and live a little, Homer plans to take the nerds on a road trip with several cases of beer. His plan fizzles when Marge makes him take Bart and Lisa along and they end up going to a petting zoo. Homer's next idea is to pull a prank, and Bart helps them to plan the kidnapping of Sir Oinks-A-Lot, the pig mascot of Springfield A&M. They bring the pig back to Springfield University, and Homer gets the pig drunk (and sick) by splitting a case of malt liquor with him. Dean Peterson catches the nerds (but not Homer) with the drunken pig, and the dean is forced to expel the nerds from Springfield University due to the influence of the pig's powerful friends, one of whom is former U.S. President Richard Nixon. Homer, however, gets off Scot-free.

 

Feeling guilty for his role in getting the nerds expelled, Homer invites the nerds to stay in the Simpson home since they have nowhere else to go, especially after an incident shortly after leaving the school where they got scammed by Snake Jailbird into forking over their wallets under the claim that he was a "wallet inspector". However, they quickly get on the nerves of the rest of the family: Using the phone line to hook up their computers, leaving their retainers in the dishwasher, and interrupting a much-anticipated Itchy & Scratchy cartoon. The latter is the last straw as far as Bart is concerned ("Dad, start diggin' some nerd holes"), and even Marge has had enough, saying, "I want those geeks out of my house."

 

Homer hatches a scheme where he will drive his car at Dean Peterson and the nerds will push him out of the way at the last second, thus saving his life, earning his gratitude, and being let back into school. The nerds blow their part (due to debating whether they need to calculate for wind resistance), and Peterson gets run over. Homer visits Peterson in the hospital and confesses to his part in all the pranks. Touched by Homer's honesty, and conceding that he may have been a bit of an ogre himself, Peterson rescinds the nerds' expulsions and allows them back into school.

 

All goes well until Homer realizes that it is time for his final exam in Nuclear Physics. The nerds help Homer to "cram like you've never crammed before!", but he fails the test anyway. The nerds then hack into the college's computer and change Homer's grade to an A. Marge, however, protests that Homer's cheating is setting a horrible example for the kids (mostly Bart) and makes him start taking the class over again without cheating. During his retake, Homer, and to lesser extent Doug, Benjamin, and Gary, pursues several stereotypical college activities (as seen in a montage of photos): Waterskiing in a toga; getting into a food fight; apparently being hazed into a fraternity (a naked Homer is shown being spanked with a paddle by several fraternity boys wearing red hoods); shoving several students, including Doug, Benjamin and Gary, into a telephone booth; Benjamin, Doug, and Gary presumably gatecrashing a football game, but also commandeering a tank against the opposing team; Homer teaming up with Dean Peterson to pull a Bra Bomb prank on Richard Nixon; and pushing Dean Peterson into a swimming pool. Eventually, Homer manages to pass the course and graduates, although he also manages to flash the crowd while receiving his diploma.