9TH:

 

S5E10-

 

$pringfield (or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)

 

 

 

The economy of Springfield is in decline, and Mayor Quimby listens to suggestions from citizens on how to improve the economy. Principal Skinner suggests that legalized gambling has helped rejuvenate run-down economies, and that it can work for Springfield as well. Everybody likes the idea (including Marge, despite everyone's initial belief that she would protest against it) and they agree to it. Mr. Burns and Mayor Quimby work together to build a casino, but Burns objects to several prototypes until he develops his own design: Mr. Burns' Casino, with "sex appeal and a catchy name".

 

At the house, Lisa tells Marge of an upcoming 50 US States pageant at Springfield Elementary School. Marge suggests she goes as Nevada in honor of the legalized gambling in both the state and Springfield. Lisa objects and Marge suggests Florida since she loves orange juice and old people like her.

 

The casino opens, and Homer gets a job as a blackjack dealer, a popular one at that since he is so bad at it that everyone at the table always wins except him. Also visiting the casino are Marge and Bart. Bart wins a jackpot, but is kicked out, as minors are not allowed in American casinos, unless accompanied by a responsible adult. Bart says the casino was stupid anyway and a squeaky voiced teen laughs, sarcastically telling Bart to build his own casino. He does open a casino in his treehouse, featuring Milhouse and Jimbo as entertainers. Marge shows up while Homer is doing blackjack duties and Homer thinks that it is strange that Marge is at the casino after her negativity towards it, but it's all in Homer's head as Marge was OK with the idea (it's possible that Homer sees her as an instant killjoy and preconceived this notion). Then, while Marge waits for Homer's shift to end at Burns's casino, she finds a quarter on the floor and uses it to play a slot machine. She wins and almost immediately becomes addicted to gambling, soon becoming a slot-jockey. Meanwhile, while Burns's casino is a roaring success, Burns becomes even more reclusive and eccentric, as he has found the one industry even more profitable than the energy business. Only one thing can stop him - microscopic germs. He becomes a germophobe, stops cutting his hair and nails, and forces Smithers to wear a hospital gown to protect him from germs.

 

Due to her addiction, Marge spends every waking moment at the casino and neglects the family in the process. Maggie crawls away from her, and is almost mauled by the Tigress Gemima, with Barney Gumble barely snatching her up in time. However when he returns her to Marge, Marge just places her back down and returns to the slots, and Barney hypocritically comments on her impulse control problem, just before drinking some quarters, thinking they're beer.

 

Back at home, when Lisa wakes from a bad dream of the boogeyman, a gun-toting Homer hides himself and the children behind a mattress in terror, shooting from his cover at anything he thinks might be the boogeyman. When Marge finally returns home and sees what has happened, she promises to spend more time with her family instead of gambling. The next day, Bart intercepts Robert Goulet to perform at his casino, when he was hired to perform at Mr. Burns's casino; Goulet is a hit, singing the children's favorite "Jingle Bells, Batman Smells" and accidentally smacking Milhouse in the face with his microphone, and rather enjoys himself.

 

As an addict, Marge quickly goes back on her promise and returns to the casino. She does not help Lisa make a Florida costume for her geography pageant, so Homer makes a primitive costume of "Floreda" for her (which is not just misspelled, it is also shaped like California). Lisa is heartbroken, thinking she looks like a monster, but Homer swears he will save Marge from the real monster (whom he calls Gamblor) that has trapped her in his neon claws.

 

Back at Burns's casino, Mr. Burns has mentally degenerated, wearing Kleenex boxes on his feet and designing a plane called the Spruce Moose. Smithers admires what appears to be a scale model of the plane, but Burns insists that it is the full-sized version. Homer bursts into the casino and barges around searching for Marge. (Interestingly, while Homer's rampage is supposed to be destructive, every thing he passes by causes players to win jackpots.) The security cameras capture Homer's rampage, and when Burns sees him he orders Homer to be fired. Smithers promises to send Homer back to the power plant. Realizing how much he misses the plant, Burns decides to return and orders Smithers to get his razor, draw a bath and get rid of the Kleenex boxes he has been wearing on his feet, although he plans to hang on to the jars of urine he has been preserving. Planning to fly back to the plant, he orders Smithers to board the model plane... at gunpoint.

 

Homer spies Marge who is gambling and winning more money. With that, he stops her by pulling Marge away from the slot machine and throwing it to the floor. Homer proceeds to tell her how angry he is at her for breaking her promise to Lisa and making her cry. Marge realizes how much her neglect is effecting her family and apologizes. Homer persuades Marge to admit that she has a gambling problem, and she considers therapy, but Homer objects, claiming that it's too expensive.

 

At Springfield Elementary, Lisa, along with Ralph Wiggum, who dressed up as Idaho using nothing but a sheet of loose leaf paper that says "Idaho" taped to his shirt, both receive special awards for being "children who obviously had no help from their parents".

 

Homer then rubs it in Marge's face and tells her that her gambling addiction was worse than his flaws. She is offended and tells Homer that he is supposed to be helping her, not rubbing it in. Homer tells Marge this is what she gets for neglecting their family and breaking her promise in helping Lisa make her Florida costume. He eventually agrees to let it go as long as she makes the effort to stop heading back to the casino.

8TH:

 

S8E19-

 

Grade School Confidential

 

 

After a long length of morning announcements Mrs. Krabappel has to use fire crackers to wake everyone up. Afterwards Martin invites his classmates to his birthday party, but no one seems interested. On the day of the party Bart and Milhouse are playing in the Simpsons yard and the two decide to go even though they would lose popularity points. The gathering turns out to be incredibly boring. There is a bouncy house and pony rides but there is also a math magician (who doesn't know that 7 goes into 28 4 times). In the meantime, Principal Seymour Skinner and Edna Krabappel attend and have a conversation which leads to them discovering that they have romantic feelings for each other. When Agnes spies on Skinner for playing in the neighbors yard he claims that he was invited to the party, after a pause Agnes comes over, prompting the two to hide in the playhouse. Meanwhile to cap off the poorly received party, the celebration goes south when almost everyone becomes ill with food poisoning that was caused by serving diseased oysters instead of cake (which Martin's Dad was against). Martin however is only upset about his reputation instead of the sick guests and Nelson punches Martin before falling ill himself. After the ambulances arrive to see to the sick kids, both of the Simpson kids managed to escape the poisoning: Bart gave his oysters to the cat, Lisa didn't eat hers either because of her vegetarian diet, but she feigned sickness so that she could leave with an excuse. The two adults who are unaware of the events that occurred end up kissing in Martin's pink playhouse, an act witnessed by Bart.

 

Bart plans to reveal what he witnessed to some kids in the cafeteria at school, but Seymour and Edna fear that they would be fired if anyone found out and they swear him to secrecy. They hire him as their gofer, so they can secretly exchange messages. Bart agrees for a while, because the reward for his cooperation is that Milhouse Van Houten will inherit Bart's poor school record. While the happy couple continues to grow closer and happier, Bart still has a job to do. Eventually, Bart grows frustrated about his home, school and social life continually being interrupted to help them advance their relationship, putting him in embarrassing situations including getting him out of bed at night to see a movie despite being exhausted, to make matters worse Superintendent Chalmers becomes suspicious. One afternoon at school, after he is embarrassed in front of his classmates by having to say one of Seymour's messages to Edna out loud, Bart becomes so furious after getting ridiculed by his friends and he bitterly responds by gathering the entire school in front of the janitor's closet and opens the door to reveal that Seymour and Edna are kissing each other.

 

Word quickly spreads throughout Springfield, with the story growing more illicit and exaggerated with each passing turn. An appalled Chief Wiggum, upon hearing his son Ralph's version of the events, alerts Superintendent Gary Chalmers. Chalmers tells Seymour that the whole town's in an uproar about his sleazy shenanigans and gives Seymour a choice: to either end the relationship or have the both of them face dismissal so fast that his mortarboards will spin. Seymour chooses that love is stronger than his professional goals, so Chalmers fires him and Edna, expecting them to leave the building by 3:00.

 

Bart learns that the couple have lost their jobs and shows remorse for them. After Seymour apologizes to Bart for humiliating him, Bart encourages the former principal to stand up for himself. Seymour and Edna lock down the school, call the media and make their demands: They want their jobs back and the townspeople to not interfere with their relationship. However, several residents (specifically Maude Flanders) rebuke with the accusation about the two having sexual intercourse in the janitor's closet. Seymour insists nothing of the sort happened and that he is a virgin. Everyone accepts the explanation, since no one would ever give false information about being a 44 year old virgin. Chalmers agrees to reinstate Seymour and Edna as though nothing ever happened. The couple choose to continue their relationship more privately than ever by convincing Bart that they have broken up after thanking him for helping them. However, in the last scene of the episode, they have sex in the janitor's closet.

7TH:

 

S4E9-

 

Mr Plow

 

 

A blizzard hits Springfield, so Marge calls Homer at Moe's Tavern and tells him to come home right away. Homer drives through the snowstorm and manages to wreck both family cars when he rear-ends Marge's car in the driveway. Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie — standing at the front door waiting for him — are shocked at what happened. Homer then gives false information to an insurance claims adjuster about his whereabouts before the accident, by saying he was buying pornography, in order to cover the fact that he was coming home from a bar.

 

The insurance company pays the claim, and Homer goes searching for a new car. After hitchhiking to a used car lot outside of town, Homer discovers that the only models they sell are Eastern European imports from the former U.S.S.R.. After his original failed attempt, Homer takes the kids to car show to get a new car. At the show, the family looks at various exhibits showing the history of car companies and putting famous cars on display (with Bart finding a large quantity of stolen cash in the glove department of Bonnie and Clyde's death car as well as Lisa noticing that one of the "crash test dummies" in the demonstration video for a German car company wasn't a dummy). Among the various displays, Homer notices the original 1960s Batmobile with Adam West sitting next to the display signing autographs. When Homer tries to introduce the kids to Adam, they end up causing Adam to go on a rant about how the newer Batman franchise was inferior and he begins doing the, "Batusi". While an uncomfortable Homer and kids attempt to get away, Homer bumps into the display for a large snowplow, and he imagines plowing protesters at the White House. A salesman talks Homer into getting the snowplow because he can afford the higher payments by doing plowing jobs on the side. Homer buys the snowplow and starts his snow plow business as "Mr. Plow". With the help of a late-night TV ad, Homer's business is an instant success, winning the respect of the whole town. In recognition of the achievement, Mayor Quimby gives Homer a key to the city.

 

Barney, who has been working at a succession of dead-end jobs, asks Homer how he can be a success, so Homer tells him to go out and be the best Barney he can be. The next day Barney has bought a bigger plow, and goes into business for himself as "The Plow King". With Linda Ronstadt's help, Barney creates his own ad (denouncing Mr. Plow as an alcoholic loser) and steals all of Homer's customers. Mayor Quimby then takes back the key to the city from Homer and gives it to Barney. Homer decides to make another ad that includes a rap, but it's so bad that Bart and Lisa tell him to never sing it again. Desperate, he goes to the McMahon and Tate Advertising to create an ad for him. Unfortunately for him and his family, the resulting ad was left so opaque that not even Homer could identify it as whether it was meant to promote his plowing service. To get revenge, Homer tricks Barney into going on a fake plow job at the top of a mountain called Widow's Peak. Barney accepts the job, much to Homer's delight.

 

While Barney is gone up the mountain, Homer begins to plow driveways again. However, the news later reports there has been an avalanche on Widow's Peak. Homer, feeling guilty, sets out to rescue Barney, and in the end they agree to become partners. Their claim that not even God could stop them brings about a response from God—the melting of the snow. With no more business, and no way to make the payments, Homer's plow is repossessed at the end of the episode, but that doesn't prevent Marge from enjoying Homer wearing his Mr. Plow jacket to bed.

6TH:

 

S4E8-

 

New Kid On The Block

 

 

The Simpsons' next door neighbors, The Winfields, choose to move away to Florida for the prospect of warmer climes, and additionally, Homer's constant embarrassing behavior. To help them sell their house, the couple request Homer not to discourage potential buyers, with Homer bluntly refusing to do anything from covering his trash to taking in his old Jack-O-Lanterns, as well as disgusting buyers by sitting in a kiddie pool in his front yard.

 

Sometime later, Bart and Lisa explore the newly sold house out of curiosity, and go into the basement. Bart scares Lisa away through making up how the Winfields had a deformed son they forgot to take with them, but a beautiful girl takes advantage of his spooking, and surprises him, shocking himself unconscious. When he wakes up, the girl who checks up on him greets him, and that her name is Laura Powers, his new neighbor. Meanwhile, Homer watches an advertisement on television about "The Frying Dutchman," an all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant run by Captain Horatio McCallister and wants to go.

 

Bart develops a crush on Laura. In the meantime, Homer and Marge visit Ruth Powers at the house where she and Laura moved in--after Marge gives Ruth a "Welcome to the Neighborhood" basket, which includes a gift for "the man of the house," which appears to be Ruth, since it appears to be just her and her daughter. After noting that Marge seemed uncomfortable, Ruth (rather casually) explains that she and Laura's father got divorced a couple years previously, with her being the one to get custody of their daughter. Meanwhile, as Bart and Laura hang out, Laura later taunts Dolph and Kearney, two of the Springfield bullies, when they crudely try pickup lines on her. Laura looks at Bart's palm and predicts that he is going to be rich. She spits in his hand and says, "And there's the swimming pool!", before leaving to attend to her new home. Bart says he is never going to wash that hand again, an act that is later undone when its filth becomes unmanageably adhesive.

 

Later, Homer can't find a babysitter for his and Marge's date, so Bart suggests that Laura should babysit them, to which Homer agrees. Bart then takes a bath and dresses up to impress Laura. When she arrives, they share dinner and Bart even accepts a dance with her.

 

Meanwhile, Homer goes to the restaurant with Marge, ignoring the fact that Marge is allergic to seafood. Homer orders the all-you-can-eat and literally eats everything (according to one of the staff members, Homer proceeded to eat "all [the]shrimp, and two plastic lobsters"), continuing to eat well past closing time and completely taking unfair advantage of the offer. Captain McAllister finally kicks a struggling Homer out after midnight, since even after hours of constant eating he still wasn't full. He goes to trial with his lawyer, Lionel Hutz, claiming false advertising (with help from an entire jury of obese people). In her testimony, Marge is reduced to tears as she recalls how she and Homer drove around for hours afterward looking for another all-you-can-eat fish seafood restaurant before he then went fishing. Winning the case, Homer instead negotiates with the captain and makes an out of court agreement, with Homer now allowed to truly have all he can eat, in exchange for being put on display in the restaurant for publicity as "Bottomless Pete, nature's cruelest mistake". Marge, of course, is humiliated.

 

Hoping to gain advice about relationships, Grampa gets a birthday visit from Bart, who then tells him about his failed relationship with the oldest woman in the world. Later, Bart talks to Homer about the subject, and which Homer is encouraged to teach his son about the facts of life, but fails upon coming to a drunken stupor. At night, Bart is called to a meeting by Laura in the treehouse, which Laura tells Bart the news that she is dating Jimbo Jones, who Bart feels both resentment towards him being the scourge of Springfield, and is no good for a girl like Laura.

 

While Laura and Jimbo kiss and make out during Homer's court case, Bart makes a prank call to Moe's Tavern, posing as Jimbo. Moe then comes over and threatens Jimbo with a rusty iamspamspamamiknife, causing him to burst into tears and cower in the face of danger, resulting in Laura realizing that he's no good for her, dumping him and kicking him out of the house. Laura tells Bart that she would date him if he were old enough to grow a mustache, and kisses him, much to his surprise. Eventually, Bart and Laura make another prank phone call to Moe's and then laugh.

 

5TH:

 

S7E19-

 

A Fish Called Selma

 

 

 

The Simpsons are watching a Muppet film on TV and Bart says one of the Muppets is leather but is actually Troy McClure. Marge points out he was a real heartthrob in the 70’s and Homer reminds her that is until the rumors about him and an aquarium scandal. Marge begs to differ stating that Troy is actually a true gentleman. Meanwhile the washed-up actor gets pulled over for erratic driving, due to the fact that he is driving without his corrective lenses. After seeing Troy in his glasses, Chief Wiggum tells Troy to get his license changed so that he won’t be required to wear glasses anymore (he still asks for a bribe). When Troy goes to the DMV to pass the eye exam, he can't seem to read all the letters, explaining to Selma (who is clearly taken with him) that he depends on his looks so he offers to take Selma Bouvier to dinner if she will let him pass the eye test she doesn't hesitate.

 

After dinner at the Pimento Grove, photographers notice Troy leaving with a human woman (rumors about a romantic abnormality initially destroyed Troy's career). The pictures appear in the news the next day which Homer and his work mates see, Homer is not that convinced while Carl and Lenny point out that those Aquarium rumors may not be true after all, later that same day Troy's agent calls and says that he can get work again if he continues seeing human women (Selma). Troy continues dating Selma to help his career, even when she gets kicked out for smoking in a restaurant, Troy joins her in the parking lot with a cigar. On his agent's advice, Troy asks Selma to marry him, while Marge is thrilled, Patty doesn't really approve of them. Troy gets a part in 'Planet of the Apes' the musical which is very successful. Eventually Selma moves in with Troy (although they don't sleep together) and Homer, Marge and the kids come over for a pool party.

 

The night before the wedding, a drunk Troy tells a drunk Homer the reason for his marriage and Homer goes wide-eyed. At the wedding, when Reverend Lovejoy asks anyone who opposes the marriage to speak up, Homer makes gibberish noises in his head to distract himself from saying the truth. After the wedding, Homer tells Marge offhand that Troy doesn't really love Selma and is just trying to aid his own career. Marge and Patty try to explain Selma, who accuses them of coming down with "the green-eyed gazungas." Eventually Marge tells Selma that Troy doesn't love her, he's only using her to help advance his career. Selma doesn't believe them and goes back home where she confronts Troy who eagerly admits that their marriage is a sham to help his career. Troy explains to Selma that even though their marriage is a sham, she has benefited and Selma initially accepts the situation. Troy's agent thinks he can get Troy the part of McBain's sidekick in the next McBain movie, McBain IV: Fatal Discharge, if he sires children as all the good roles are going to celebrity parents.

 

Troy and Selma prepare to conceive a child, but Troy is uncomfortable sleeping with women because of his "bizarre fish fetish"; rumors of his unconventional sexuality once squelched his career and prevented his comeback he ends up saying that a baby is so much work. Selma tells Troy that a baby isn't supposed to be work but rather is supposed to express how much a couple loves each other. Selma decides that while a loveless marriage isn't hurtful to anyone, bringing a child into a loveless marriage is wrong and leaves Troy. A tabloid TV show confirms that Troy has turned down the role of McBain's sidekick to direct and star in his own film, The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel, produced by 20th Century Fox., but since most parts go to actors with families it may not do well.

4TH:

 

S4E12-

 

Marge vs the Monorail

 

 

After being caught dumping nuclear waste in the city park by Agent Malone, Mr. Burns is fined $3 million, which will go towards fixing up Springfield. Lisa wants the money to go towards Springfield Elementary getting virtual-reality helmets, so students can actually experience history, Bart wants to buy giant, mechanical ants to destroy Springfield Elementary and cut Principal Skinner in half, and Homer wants a giant billboard that reads, "NO FAT CHICKS".

 

A town meeting is immediately held so that the citizens (the ones who aren't busy breaking into people's homes, like Snake Jailbird and his criminal buddies) can decide how to spend the money. Maude Flanders wants the money to go towards hiring more firefighters to put out the perpetual blaze on the east side of town (which Homer finds boring), Mr. Burns (poorly disguised as a man named Mr. Snrub) wants the money to be returned to the nuclear plant (the audience immediately turns on him and he and Smithers escape Batman-style with a grappling hook gun), Apu wants the money spent on hiring more police officers because he got shot eight times and almost missed work (Chief Wiggum dismisses this as Apu being a crybaby), and Marge suggests using the money to fix up Main Street, which is in extremely poor condition thanks to drivers like Homer driving with chains on their tires and carrying too much weight while the potholes have become so big that actual vehicles fall in them. Grampa Simpson goes to object to the "fix Main Street" idea, but the entire town takes it as a call to fix Main Street. Before Mayor Quimby makes the vote official, a smooth-talking stranger named Lyle Lanley suggests that the town buy a new monorail and wins them over with The Monorail Song.

 

While everyone in town is abuzz with a monorail being built in Springfield, Marge still believes that the town should have used the money to fix Main Street. At Springfield Elementary School, Lanley arrives for an assembly and he wins most of the school over. Lisa tries to ask Lanley about the point of having a monorail in a small town, but Lanley ends up charming her by complimenting her intellect.

 

While everyone in town is abuzz with a monorail being built in Springfield, Marge still believes that the town should have used the money to fix Main Street. At Springfield Elementary School, Lanley arrives for an assembly and he wins most of the school over. Lisa tries to ask Lanley about the point of having a monorail in a small town, but Lanley ends up charming her by complimenting her intellect.

 

While watching TV, Homer sees an advertisement that suggests he become a monorail conductor. Claiming it to be a lifelong dream (even though Marge points out that Homer fulfilled his lifelong dream of running out on the field during a baseball game, which he did last year and ended up getting arrested and costing Springfield the pennant), Homer signs up for the monorail conductor training course. After a decidedly un-intensive three weeks of training, Homer is named the monorail conductor.

 

When Homer shows his family the monorail cockpit, Marge finds a family of opossums in the fire extinguisher cabinet (in the place of a fire extinguisher). She pays Lyle Lanley a visit at his office to question him about his motives. In the empty office, Marge discovers a notebook and learns Lanley’s true intentions: to have the monorail break down and leave Springfield in ruins, while he gets away with the town's money in a plane trip to Tahiti. Lanley catches Marge and questions how much she saw in the notebook. Marge replies, "Nothing incriminating," and Lanley cheerfully lets her go, and wonders why he leaves his notebook lying around, unaware that Marge now knows his plan to con Springfield and endanger its residents.

 

Marge immediately drives to North Haverbrook, now a ghost town where the only residents are a cackling old lady sitting in a rocking chair on her porch and a traumatized diner waitress who denies that the town ever had a monorail. However, Marge finds one resident willing to talk to her: Sebastian Cobb, a scientist who was hired by Lanley to build the monorail. Cobb explains that Lanley forced him to cut corners everywhere: using bad wiring, installing faulty brakes, and having Gallagher as the celebrity on the maiden voyage. Worried, Marge asks Cobb what Springfield should do. Cobb's answer: have a damn good conductor. With Homer (who just locked his keys in the cockpit of the monorail) at the wheel, the maiden voyage is doomed.

 

At the maiden voyage of the monorail, the entire town turns out, including celebrities such as the Luke Perry-esque Kyle Darrin from Springfield Heights 90210, Krusty the Clown (who gets accosted by a single mother who begs him to see her son, who looks like Krusty, complete with white make-up and green hair), Lurleen Lumpkin (fresh from her stay at the Betty Ford Clinic and now sounding like Lunchlady Doris due to her drug problems and ruined career), and Leonard Nimoy (whom Mayor Quimby mistook for a cast member from the Star Wars movies and one of the original child actors from The Little Rascals). Lisa tries to get Lanley to ride the monorail, but Lanley, instead, leaves for his flight to Tahiti with the town's money. The monorail takes off just before Marge and Cobb arrive in Springfield, since Cobb decided to stop for a haircut.

 

At first the monorail runs smoothly, but the controls malfunction, causing the monorail to speed up and travel at a dangerous speed. Nobody can figure out how to stop the monorail (since it runs on solar power) and Mayor Quimby and Chief Wiggum are too busy fighting over how many women each of them get according to the town charter to care that their citizens are in danger. Although a solar eclipse briefly halts it, the eclipse ends and the monorail takes off again.

 

Meanwhile, Lanley's plans goes awry when the flight to Tahiti makes a brief unscheduled stop in North Haverbrook. He is immediately attacked by a group of locals and is never seen again.

 

Back in Springfield, Cobb tells Homer that in order to stop the monorail, he needs to find an anchor. After seriously considering using Bart, Homer grabs the giant “M” from the side of the monorail, ties it to a rope, and throws it out the window (just barely remembering at the last second that he needs to also tie the rope to something inside the monorail). Eventually, the M latches onto Lard Lad's giant doughnut, stopping the monorail and saving its passengers. As the passengers get off of the monorail, Leonard Nimoy says that his work is done. Barney tells Nimoy that he didn't do anything. Nimoy asks, "Didn't I?" and vanishes a la Star Trek.

 

Marge concludes with an explanation that the monorail was the last folly Springfield ever had... except for the popsicle-stick skyscraper... and the 50-foot magnifying glass... and the escalator to nowhere.

 

 

3RD:

 

S7E10-

 

The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular

 

 

 

In honor of the 138th episode of "The Simpsons", Troy McClure hosts a Simpsons TV special looking back at the history of the show. The opening has "I Will Only Do This Once A Year" as a chalkboard gag and the couch gags from "A Streetcar Named Marge" (also used in "Last Exit to Springfield"), "Lisa The Beauty Queen" (also used in "Duffless"), "Marge vs. the Monorail", "Homer's Triple Bypass" (also used in "Marge in Chains") "Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk" (also used in "The Otto Show"), "Homer Goes To College" (also used in "Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy"), "A Star Is Burns" (also used in "'Round Springfield"), "Homer The Great" (also used in "The PTA Disbands"), "Homer Badman" (also used in "Two Dozen and One Greyhounds"), "Lisa's Rival" (also used in "Bart vs. Australia"), "Bart's Comet" (also used in "Lemon of Troy") and "Lisa's First Word" (also used in "The Front", "Cape Feare" and "Fear Of Flying").

 

The first act is composed of various Tracey Ullman shorts, like "Good Night", "The Perfect Crime", "Space Patrol", "World War III" (in 1987) and "Bathtime" in 1989.

 

Next, Troy answers some viewer mail, with questions about Homer getting increasingly dumber (with clips between seasons 2 and 6 showing how Homer has gotten stupider), how Matt Groening can create an episode a week (which a cameraman tries to get an answer from Matt Groening, depicted as an eye-patched, alcoholic, redneck, conservative nutjob, but ends up getting shot), and whether or not Smithers is a homosexual, which Troy doesn't directly answer (instead, he says that Smithers is in his early 40s, lives in Springfield, and works for Mr. Burns).

 

he final act is a collection of actual deleted scenes from select episodes, including Krusty's show getting cancelled after his arrest for trying to sell a pornographic photo book to minors in "Krusty Gets Kancelled" (and a subsequent scene where Krusty is told his show is canceled and will be replaced with a hemorrhoid informercial, with Krusty begging to play either a hemorrhoid sufferer or one of the "After" guys); Homer's head being used as a bowling ball in the Treehouse of Horror story, "The Devil and Homer Simpson" (along with Bart trying to sell his soul for a Formula-One racing car, and Lionel Hutz coming back with a box of pizza, thinking he lost the case, but when Marge tells him they won, he reveals the box was empty all along); Homer eating food from his mom's undelivered care packages and talking about how he's taking the nuclear plant down from the inside in "Mother Simpson", Apu showing a Bollywood film to The Simpsons in "Homer and Apu"; Mr. Burns using a robotic Richard Simmons to scare Homer away in "Burns' Heir"; and a montage of alternate scenes made for "Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)" to keep the real shooter's identity secret until broadcast, presenting everyone from Moe to Tito Puente to Santa's Little Helper as the culprit. This is followed by a complete alternate ending in which Smithers turned out to be the culprit all along (which would have conflicted with the plot point about the attempted murderer being someone having Simpson family DNA).

 

McClure closes the show with the real reason people want to watch the show: "Hardcore nudity!" (albeit PG-rated hardcore nudity, where the nudity is censored and either shown mostly for laughs, such as Homer and Bart mooning people, or briefly shown as an establishment to an implied sex scene) set to K.C. and the Sunshine Band's "Shake Your Booty."

2ND:

 

S7E21-

 

22 Short Films About Springfield:

 

 

Prologue:

 

The episode opens with Bart and Milhouse spitting off of a bridge, and wondering about the lives of the other people in Springfield. The remainder of the episode consists of a variety of short stories focusing on different supporting characters, as well as the Simpson family. A few of these segments feature their own title cards or theme songs (some of which were cut for time and released on The Complete Seventh Season DVD). At other times, the segments simply segue from one to the next.

 

Apu's Story:

 

Sanjay asks Apu to go to a party, so Apu leaves the store for the next five minutes. During this period, he eats a semi-cooked tofu dog, dances to the song "Freak-A-Zoid" by Midnight Star, has sex with a woman in a tool shed, and falls into a pool with other partygoers, therefore coincidentally breaking all the rules of his religion. He heads back to the Kwik-E-Mart with a minute to spare. He opens the door to the store, and discovers that Hans Moleman was inside during the four minutes while Apu was away. Moleman demands his four minutes of "stolen" time back, but quickly lets it go, claiming he would just waste them.

 

Lisa's First Story:

 

While skateboarding, Bart accidentally throws gum into Lisa's hair while she puts a beer can into a recycling bin. Marge tries to get the gum out of Lisa's hair with peanut butter and mayonnaise. Lisa then goes outside to let the mix sink in, but is chased around the yard by a swarm of bees.

 

Waylon Smither's Jr Story:

 

Mr. Burns and Smithers are on a tandem bike ride and Smithers gets stung by a bee, but also has an allergic reaction after claiming that he is deadly allergic to bee stings. Mr. Burns orders Smithers to pedal to the hospital while in great pain, but in the end, they crash right at the hospital's door, and paramedics pick up the unconscious Mr. Burns instead of the ailing Smithers. Dr. Nick walks by and simply exclaims that Smithers needs booze, and drops pocket change on an ailing Smithers.

 

Dr. Nick's Story

 

Dr. Nick walks into the medical boardroom to have a meeting about his gross incompetence. Suddenly, a doctor walks in and tells them that a lunatic with a scalpel (Abraham Simpson) is demanding to see a quack. The board members turn to look at Dr. Nick. He walks though the door giving Abe a nonsensical diagnosis: that Abe's skeleton is trying to escape his body. He performs an improvised treatment by shocking Abe with the wires of a nearby surgery light. The grateful board allows Dr. Nick to keep his medical license, and he celebrates by offering free nosejobs to everyone, starting with Jasper.

 

Moe's Story:

 

Moe asks Barney if he recalls Moe quipping that he will have to send away to NASA to calculate Barney's bar tab. The results came in, and Moe tells Barney that he owes $14 billion (he initially claims that it was $70 billion until he realized that that was actually the cost for the Voyager Spacecraft). Barney gives Moe $2,000, which Moe says is halfway there. Snake then comes and tries to rob Moe. Moe quickly runs into a room behind him with a 3-inch thick bulletproof glass window. While Moe is behind the bulletproof glass, Snake jumps over the counter, and steals from the cash register to pay off his student loans. Moe wonders how much air he has behind the bulletproof glass, and shortly after collapses.

 

Skinner's Story:

 

Principal Skinner has invited Superintendent Chalmers to his house for an unforgettable luncheon, but his roast is ruined and so he resorts to ordering fast food from Krusty Burger and disguising it as his own cooking (which he calls "steamed hams"). While trying to come up with fake explanations to cover up his lie, Skinner forgets to turn off the oven and sets his house on fire. When Chalmers notices, Skinner passes it off as aurora borealis and rushes him out. Chalmers states that although Skinner is an odd fellow, he steamed a good ham. While Agnes (offscreen) calls for help, the Springfield Fire Department helps with the fire.

 

Homer's Story:

 

Homer is walking Santa's Little Helper, and holding Maggie and some groceries at the same time and comes across a newspaper vending machine. The paper has an article regarding a new donut tax. Concerned about the donut tax, Homer buys a paper while juggling around Maggie, etc., and accidentally locks Maggie in the newspaper vending machine. After finding only train flattened coins in his pocket, Homer tries to pull Maggie out through the little space that the door opens, but pulls off Maggie's clothing accidentally. Homer tries to put a note on Santa's Little Helper about Maggie being trapped. However, since Homer wrote it in cheese, Santa's Little Helper licks it off of the paper. Homer ultimately chooses to just steal the vending machine with Maggie still inside.

 

Chief Wiggum's Story:

 

Clancy Wiggum is at Krusty Burger with Eddie and Lou, and they discuss the similarities and differences of McDonald's and Krusty Burger, and the food they sell. Wiggum later leaves and goes to get some donuts. This story is a parody from Pulp Fiction, when Vincent tells Winnfield what the quarter-pounder with cheese is called in Paris (Royale with Cheese).

 

Bumblebee Man's Story:

 

Bumblebee Man returns from his show and plans to relax at home. However, he encounters a series of disasters (similar to his show) that accidentally destroys his house and his wife divorces her husband.

 

Snake and Wiggum's Story:

 

Snake is driving his car listening to a rock version of the Simpsons theme song while Chief Wiggum is walking down the street, eating doughnuts. Wiggum notices Snake, and Snake runs him over impulsively. Wiggum chases after Snake and they indirectly wind up in Herman's Military Antiques. Herman captures them at gunpoint. This story is also a parody from a Pulp Fiction scene.

 

Reverend Lovejoy's Story:

 

Reverend Lovejoy walks his dog and has him relieve himself on Ned Flanders' front yard. Ned comes out onto his yard, and Lovejoy insincerely scolds his dog.

 

Lisa's Second Story:

 

Marge is still trying to remove the gum from Lisa's hair. After Ned suggests freezing it out, he accidentally mashes more hair into it. Soon, a large crowd of people has gathered in to the Simpsons' iamspamspamamito offer suggestions, including Dr. Hibbert, Lionel Hutz, Sideshow Mel, Otto, Captain McCallister, Üter, Kent Brockman, Leopold, Groundskeeper Willie, Capital City Goofball, Handsome Pete, Dr. Hector von Colossus, Lenny and Mr. Teeny.

 

Cletus' Story:

 

Cletus finds a pair of boots and gives them to Brandine for her job interview, but she refuses to accept them, as they may "scuff up the topless dancing runway" at the place she's trying to get the job at. Brandine tells Cletus to put them back where they came from. Cletus climbs a telephone pole and hangs them over the power lines where he found them. Cletus then shouts at his mother to get off the roof.

 

Milhouse's Story:

 

Milhouse goes into The Android's Dungeon & Baseball Card Shop to use the bathroom, but Comic Book Guy tells Milhouse that the bathroom is for paying customers only. Milhouse chooses to purchase a Hamburgler comic for 75 cents, but at that moment, his father, Kirk, comes in and, appalled that Milhouse is just buying comics, he takes Milhouse to another place. He and Milhouse go into Herman's Military Antiques to get Milhouse to a restroom.

 

Kirk Van Houten's Story:

 

Herman has captured Snake and Wiggum, who are tied up, and is now holding a shotgun and waiting for 'Zed' to get to his store. Milhouse and his dad come in so that Milhouse can go to the bathroom. While Kirk is trying to make small talk with Herman, he nearly gets captured, along with Snake and Wiggum. Milhouse accidentally hits Herman from behind with a spiked flail, knocking him unconscious.

 

Lisa's Third Story:

 

Lisa goes to Jake the Barber to get her hair cut. With a small bald spot from the hair getting cut, she gets it restyled, which makes Lisa look more like a real person. She leaves the barber shop, and Nelson laughs at her hair.

 

Nelson's Story:

 

After laughing at Lisa's new hair, Nelson laughs at Mrs. Glick, who trips and falls into a trash can, and then laughs at a tall guy driving a very small Volkswagen Beetle. The tall man stops his car and gets out. He chases after Nelson. Although Nelson tries to hide in a manhole, Lisa, as payback for Nelson's earlier mocking of her new hairstyle, gives his hiding spot away to the tall man. The tall man then lectures him and explains that the Beetle was the only large car he could afford, though after Nelson admitted he still found it funny, he decided to teach him a lesson by having him be the victim of being laughed for his misfortune. He then pulls down Nelson's pants and makes him walk down the street to teach the bully a lesson, also pointing him out to the gathered populace and telling them to laugh at him for a change, as well as adding insult to injury by ordering the bully to wave to the crowd and blow kisses. Nelson is splattered by ketchup and mustard by Bart and Milhouse, who are standing on top of an overpass.

 

Ending:

 

Bart and Milhouse walk away, with the conclusion that everybody has their own story to tell, with not enough time to tell them all. Out of nowhere, Professor Frink appears and tries to tell his story, but is cut short by the end credits. He begins to sing his story's "theme song."

 

 

And the winner is:

 

1ST:

 

S7E20-

 

Bart On The Road

 

 

It is the last week of school before Spring Break at Springfield Elementary. Principal Skinner is planning on spending the break in Hong Kong. While sitting in his office, he discovers that the airline has mistakenly booked him for a flight that leaves on Friday instead of Saturday. Unable to charge the huge fee that the airline would require to change the flight date on his itinerary, Skinner plans to promote a "Go To Work With Your Parents Day" on the Friday before Spring Break. Bart wants to see women in the workplace, and he reluctantly goes to the DMV with Patty and Selma (his first choice was staying at home with Marge watching cartoons and eating cereal from the box, but, according to the form Marge reads out loud, "homemaker" doesn't count as a real job because it's not real work and women don't get paid for it), Lisa goes to the nuclear power plant with Homer which she doesn't like at first (especially since she has signed many petitions to shut down the plant) but eventually makes the job fun for Homer, Milhouse discovers the exciting world of making crackers with his father, Kirk; and Martin makes a million dollars trading commodity futures (although seconds later, he loses all but $600).

 

At the DMV, Bart creates a fake driver's license for himself after Selma takes Cletus' picture and foolishly tells Bart to turn off the driver's license machine. He, Nelson and Milhouse try to see an R-rated movie, but are sorely disappointed that the film adaptation of Naked Lunch has, according to Nelson, "...two things wrong with that title". They then try to get some beer at Moe's, but see how alcohol has made losers and slobs out of the regular barflies (Barney, Larry the Lush, and Sam) and leave. The three friends wish they could find something decent to do with Bart's I.D. card. They soon run into Martin who has been on a shopping spree with the money he got from the stock market. He asks to join them, while unenthusiastic at first the trio allows it especially when Martin mentions he has lots of money to spend. They decide to use some money that Martin has to rent a car and go on a road trip. As a cover story, Bart, Martin, Nelson and Milhouse will tell their parents that they have been selected by their school to attend the National Grammar Rodeo at the Sheridan Hotel in Canada. Martin and Milhouse have no problems convincing their parents, while Nelson just tells his mother that he is going away for a week. Marge and Homer are glad to hear Bart's "news" but Lisa, who has never heard of such an event, can easily see through Bart's fib but Marge only thinks that Lisa is trying to get attention.

 

 

The boys drive the car and enjoy the road trip, but drive through a corn field at one point after Bart left the driver's seat briefly. Martin (who was sleeping for much of the trip) still thinks they are going to the Grammar Rodeo but Bart tells him that was an alibi. Seconds later, they stop when they suddenly realize they are not certain of their destination. Finding an old brochure in the glove box of the car, they plan to go to the World's Fair in Knoxville, Tennessee instead of Disney World. They make several stops along the way getting ice cream, checking out roadside attractions and picking up a hitchhiker. They soon take a detour in Branson, Missouri (which according to Homer is like Las Vegas, if it were run by Ned Flanders), where Nelson makes them stop so he can see his hero, Andy Williams, in concert.

 

Back in Springfield, Homer asks if Lisa would like to come spend her spring break at work with him and she enjoys herself there. She even has a slumber party as Homer has a night shift, they even play Truth or Dare and Lisa says this is the best Spring Break ever. Meanwhile, Marge becomes bored at home since everyone is basically away. She tries to watch informercials late at night, but instead, decides to poke Maggie while she sleeps so she can comfort something.

 

After driving all night, the boys arrive in Knoxville, the boys are shocked, finding out that the World's Fair was over 10 years ago (the Knoxville World's Fair was held in 1982, nearly 14 years before the episode originally aired) and the aging Sunsphere has been turned into the Wigsphere (a wig shop). Despite the group having come a long way for nothing, Bart tries to be optimistic and points out that they still have a car and a lot of money. However, Martin informs the group that they don't have any more money as he spent their last ten dollars on a talking Al Gore doll. Out of extreme anger, Nelson throws a rock at the Sunsphere, which topples it over and destroys their car.

 

Now without a car, any money and no one else knowing where they really are, the boys are forced to admit that they are stranded in Tennessee. Martin maturely says that they should call their parents. Bart, terrified of the punishment that their parents (specifically his own) would lay upon them convinces everyone to find a way to get home on their own. So, the boys go to a local pawn shop to make money. Nelson grabs Milhouse's glasses and gives them to the register. The register says that they are perfect for rebottling some antique Coke bottles but takes back the money after Milhouse blindly and accidentally knocks down and shatters them. The kids try to catch a train that leads through Springfield, they succeed in tossing their luggage onto the train but fail to get on themselves (after the train outspeeds them, abandoning the gang without any luggage).

 

With no other options left, Bart calls Lisa and tells her the truth, which confirms her earlier suspicions. She gleefully states he will be in so much trouble when he gets home, however one story from Bart about how he is pretty much already in deep trouble convinces her to help without telling Homer or Marge. She suggests that he become a courier as a possible way to get home (not a terrier, as terriers are dogs). Bart manages to get a job (even with his unlaminated, unsigned license). His first job takes him to Hong Kong to deliver eyeballs, while his friends stay behind (during the trip, Principal Skinner sees Bart at the airport). After finally returning from his first delivery, Bart calls Lisa and tells her that she needs to help him find a method to have a package the large enough to accommodate Martin, Milhouse and Nelson that also has a shipping destination to Springfield. Lisa tells Bart that she's not sure how she could be of any help regarding that issue as such a delivery would cost a small fortune. A frustrated Bart tells Lisa that they're counting on her, before he's ordered by his manager to deliver Big Macs to Marlon Brando's private island.

 

The following morning, while Lisa is at work with Homer, he notices that she seems troubled by something and asks her what is the problem. Lisa agrees to tell Homer on the condition that he wouldn't tell anyone else (especially Bart) and she explains just what Bart has been up to in rapid-fire succession ("Bart rented a car with a phony driver's license and drove Milhouse, Nelson, and Martin to a wig outlet in Knoxville and the car got crushed and they're out of money and they can't get home and Bart's working as a courier and just came back from Hong Kong"). Homer's face goes a literal red with fury and he vents his displeasure by yelling into the helmet of his hazmat suit to the point that the visor completely fogs up. Homer plans to send Bart the money to get home before murdering him for lying but is unable to otherwise he will spoil Lisa's trust in him by revealing she violated her agreement with Bart not to say anything. After some slight research about the location of Knoxville and learning that it's home to the Oak Ridge Nuclear Facility, Lisa and Homer decide that the best course of action would be to order something from the facility so Bart can act as the courier. Homer calls Oak Ridge, but quickly realizes that he doesn't know what to order, until he looks down at his T-437 console and places an order for a replacement. When the facility informs him that his console is fully operational, Homer purposefully spills Buzz Cola on it causing a malfunction and then finishes the order using a pseudonym to hide his involvement. Bart forces Nelson, Milhouse and Martin to get in the crate while flying home and after talking about his trip to the "Grammar Rodeo" at dinner everyone knows about the trip and glares at him except Marge, who smiles after hearing the story.

 

During the closing credits, Marge is in bed and receives three phone calls about Bart's adventures (Principal Skinner calls Marge to confirm if Bart really was in Hong Kong, the Tennessee State Police call Marge to ask about the crushed, abandoned rental car in Knoxville, and the courier company asks Marge if Bart's available tomorrow to deliver a human kidney to Amsterdam). After hanging up, Homer suppresses a chuckle and Marge asks if he's laughing at her.

Full List:

 

 

1. S7E20: Bart on the Road

2. S7E21: 22 Short Films About Springfield

3. S7E10: The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular

4. S4E12: Marge vs the Monorail

5. S7E19: A Fish Called Selma

6. S4E8: New Kid on the Block

7. S4E9: Mr Plow

8. S8E19: Grade School Confidential

9. S5E10: $pringfield (or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)

10. S5E3: Homers Goes To College

11. S4E6: Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie

12. S5E9: The Last Temptation of Homer

13. S3E6: Like Father, Like Clown

14. S5E1: Homer's Barbershop Quartet

15. S3E14: Lisa the Greek

16. S5E17: Bart Gets an Elephant

17. S5E22: Secrets of a Successful Marriage

18. S8E15: Homer's Phobia

19. S1E5: Bart the General

20. S2E15: Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

21. S4E20: Whacking Day

22. S4E17: Last Exit To Springfield

23. S8E5: Bart After Dark

24. S8E7: Lisa's Date with Density

25. S6E21: The PTA Disbands

26. S3E24: Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?

27. S3E9: Saturdays of Thunder

28. S2E5: Dancin' Homer

29. S2E4: Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish

30. S6E10: Grampa vs Sexual Inadequacy

31. S8E1: Treehouse of Horror VII

32. S8E2: You Only Move Twice

33. S7E7: King-Size Homer

34. S2E11: One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish

35. S6E19: Lisa's Wedding

36. S7E15: Bart the Fink

37. S5E12: Bart Gets Famous

38. S6E1: Bart of Darkness

39. S4E13: Selma's Choice

40. S6E4: Itchy & Scratchy Land

41. S4E22: Krusty Gets Kancelled

42. S7E1: Who Shot Mr Burns? Part II

43. S1E1: Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire

44. S4E11: Homer's Triple Bypass

45. S7E24: Homerpalooza

46. S8E10: The Springfield Files

47. S8E24: The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase

48. S3E17: Homer at the Bat

49. S9E16: Dumbbell Indemnity

50. S8E14: The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show

51. S1E10: Homer's Night Out

52. S3E13: Radio Bart

53. S8E4: Burns, Baby Burns

54. S10E23: Thirty Minutes over Tokyo

55. S8E6: A Milhouse Divided

56. S2E8: Bart the Daredevil

57. S8E9: El Viaje Misterioso de Nustero Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)

58. S5E13: Homer and Apu

59. S4E3: Homer the Heretic

60. S2E3: Treehouse of Horror

61. S6E25: Who Shot Mr Burns? Part I

62. S3E20: Colonel Homer

63. S8E22: In Marge We Trust

64. S6E14: Bart's Comet

65. S7E2: Radioactive Man

66. S3E4: Bart the Murderer

67. S3E16: Bart the Lover

68. S6E22: Round Springfield

69. S1E4: There's No Disgrace Like Home

70. S4E1: Kamp Krusty

71. S7E4: Bart Sells His Soul

72. S7E23: Much Apu About Nothing

73. S3E11: Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk

74. S3E1: Stark Raving Dad

75. S3E3: When Flanders Failed

76. S3E23: Bart's Friend Falls In Love

77. S6E15: Homie the Clown

78. S5E19: Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssssss Song

79. S4E5: Treehouse of Horror III

80. S1E7: The Call of the Simpsons

81. S3E21: Black Widower

82. S410: Lisa's First Word

83. S6E11: Fear of Flying

84. S5E14: Lisa vs Malibu Stacy

85. S6E24: Lemon of Troy

86. S3E22: The Otto Show

87. S2E1: Bart Gets an F

88. S4E19: The Front

89. S6E23: The Springfield Connection

90. S6E13: And Maggie Makes Three

91. S6E6: Treehouse of Horror V

92. S7E6: Treehouse of Horror VI

93. S6E2: Lisa's Rival

94. S2E20: The War of the Simpsons

95. S6E18: A Star Is Burns

96. S10E17- Maximum Homerdrive

97. S10E12: Sunday, Cruddy Sunday

98. S9E9: Realty Bites

99. S1E11: The Crepes of Wrath

100. S2E13: Homer vs Lisa and the 8th Commandment

 

Many thanks to everyone who has contributed to this countdown it is very much appreciated, :)