Suedehead2 replacement chart chat w/e 8th April 2024

Sabrina gets a 5th Please-ing week at 1 and Slim Shady sees off all-comers

Please Please Please gets a 5th week ahead of all-comers, giving Sabrina Carpenter a total of 12 weeks on pole this year, and the nearest challenger looks to be Chappell Roan, who’s Good Luck, Babe would be a worthy replacement next week, as the track climbs to a new peak of 2. Billie Eilsh is close behind at 3, and Myles Smith is a whisker lower with Stargazer. Bung in a resurgent Austin from Dasha, Eminem at 6, Espresso at 8 and Shaboozey who has also been ACR’d at 10 and Kendrick lamar at 9. Meanwhile up at a new peak of 7, bless. Oops, I mean Bl3ss, as played on Radio 1 along with their feature bbyclose and mate CamrinWatsin. Kisses all round then!

Meanwhile the Mercury nomination hasn’t hurt Charli XCX as she turns 180 for 360 to 12, and pips Apple by 2 spots in a peel, as the latter goes top 20 for the first time. Adam Port & friends also Move. In the right direction, to 18. Thought I’d better give it a listen, for completeness. The backing track is addictive, though not a lot happens other than what I presume is the gold-star output from a full six-week course of Autotune For Dummies laid over the top of it for purposes of mood enhancement. Ah, I remember the good old days when singers used to get jobs on dance tracks to sing notes. Sweet memories… Other climbers: Kehlani is up 2 to 15 for Jordan Adetunji, Majestic & The Jammin’ Kid get a Celine Olympics boost to a new peak of 39, Chappell Roan’s Red Hot Supernova is up one to anew peak of 38, and Bruce Springsteen’s 3rd top 40 chart run with Dancing In The Dark still falls short of the peaks of the first two, at peak-three 35. I bought it on the first run in 1984.

And so onto the new entries: Post Malone is at 26 with his latest Country collab, Guy For That employs Luke Collins, so well done on getting both Luke and more Country Music into the UK singles charts. Not quite sure what all the portaloos are for in the video, I would’ve recommended a quick trip to get a beard trim instead, m’self, I get health & safety flashbacks when nesting birds start swooping near them. I make that 25 top 40 entries in 7 years, including album tracks, guest spots and so on for Post. Small fry compared to Calvin Harris, that. His latest collab is new at 36 with Free Ellie Goulding. Sorry, I mean Free, AND Ellie Goulding, credits are ever-more complex these days. Ellie’s been on some decent tracks of late, this is her 25th top 40 and comes on the back of previous Calvin chart-topper Miracle, but her very best record stiffed, the fabulous All By Myself with Alok and Sigala in 2022. This is fairly pedestrian in comparison. Calvin, though, grabs his 44th top 40 track, but it won’t be adding to his 11 number ones.

Another week, another Central Cee new entry, at 34. I usually rely on Simon to listen to his latest hit so I don’t have to, just in case it’s unusually excellent, but I’d better bite the bullet. Here I go, wish me luck! Gen z luv, apparently, and I can make out a lot of the lyrics so that’s a bonus, don’t mind the backing rhythm, but marks knocked off for potty mouth and me not being able to relate to sentiment like messaging a girl she’s the best out the loads of women you’ve had, and inferring she’s a bit of a slapper to boot - stalker red flag alert! Or having American Express and an accountant to worry about all the cost of dating prezzies when she hasn’t even “ick”d. I suggest the next song be called Me, Me, Me. Triple Epizeuxis is all the rage, right now, after all. Thanks to mango for the big word! Central Cee is on an incredible 28 top 40 entries, more than Ellie Goulding. Clearly us Boomers not target audience. That leaves *Nsync back in the charts for the first time in over 20 years and then some, thanks to the Deadpool and Wolverine movie starting the film with Ryan Reynolds mass-killing a gore-fest to the tune of Bye Bye Bye, which works pretty well as an intro to a blockbuster movie. Max Martin has known how to construct a great pop record for over 25 years so far, and Bye Bye Bye makes for 2 triple epizeuxis-es in the top 40. Grammatically dodgy? Probably!

Over on albums, Eminem makes it 3 weeks on top, that’s quite an achievement in the streaming era for anyone that isn’t called Taylor Swift or Ed Sheeran. Blur have had 7 consecutive album number ones from 1994 to 2023, and celebrate with their highest-charting live album, but fell short of the top spot after early sales had them on top. Live At Wembley Stadium being the one in at 6, while Charli XCX gets a Mercury boost to a new peak of 3 with Brat. Taylor Swift continues in her Tortured Poet vibe at 2, Chappell Roan is up to 4 and Billie Eilish up to 5. Sam Tomkins says, “hi, my name is insecure” at 8, which is clearly not what it says on the label. It says Sam Tomkins, he of Eastbourne R&B/pop singer-songwriting with his debut album now following in the top 10 footsteps of a previous EP. New in at 10 are Swedish-band Ghost, 14 years into their career, and Rite Here Rite Now (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) gives them a 4th top 40 album, but lowe than the previous album which hit a peak of 2.

The Police release a (presumably late) 40th anniversary version of Synchronicity, the one with a bunch of great singles on it, and enter at 30 some 40 years since it was last in the chart, I’d wager 10p on, while Benson Boone hops back into the 40 with Fireworks & Rollerblades at 31. Debuting at 26, and Celine Dion’s hits compilation has been dithering around the lower end of the 100 for a while, but is boosted by her Olympics ceremony at the Eifel Tower, up to 36. And that’s that - other reissues of old albums failed to go top 40, so hopefully a cooler week next week. In more ways than one.