Here are some of my favourites:

 

Peter sellers in Dr. Strangelove

 

Hello? Hello, Dimitri? Listen, can't hear you,

suppose you could turn the music down just

a little? Oh, that's much better. Yes. Fine, I

can hear you now, Dimitri. Clear and plain and

coming through fine. I'm coming through fine

too, eh? Good. Then, well as you say, we're

both coming through fine. Good. Well it's good

that you're fine and I'm fine. I agree, it's great

to be fine.

 

Now then, Dimitri. You know how we've always

talked about something going wrong with The

Bomb...The Bomb, Dimitri. The Hydrogen Bomb.

Well now, what happened is, well...one of our

base commanders, he had a sort of....well, he

went a little funny in the head. You know, just

a little....funny. And, uh, he went and did a silly

thing. Well I'll tell you what he did, he ordered

his planes....to attack your country. Well let me

finish, Dimitri. Let me finish, Dimitri. Well listen,

how do you think I feel about it? Can you

imagine how I feel about it, Dimitri? Why do you

think I'm calling you? Just to say hello? Of course

I like to speak to you! Of course I like to say hello.

Not now, but anytime, Dimitri. I'm just calling to

tell you something terrible has happened. It's a

friendly call, of course it's a friendly call. Listen,

if it wasn't friendly, you probably wouldn't even

have got it.

 

They will not reach their targets for at least another

hour. I am postitive, Dimitri. Listen, I've been all

over this with your Ambassador, it's not a trick. I'll

tell you: we'd like to give your Air Staff a complete

run-down on targets, flight plans and the defense

systems of the planes. Yes, I mean if we're not

able to recall the planes and...I'd say, well, we're

just going to have to help you destroy them, Dimitri.

I know they're our boys.

 

All right now listen, who should we call? Who should

we call, Dimitri? The - sorry, you faded away there.

The People's Central Air Defense Headquarters. Where

is that, Dimitri? In Amsk. Right. Yes. Oh, you'll call

them first, will you? Uh-huh. Listen, do you happen

to have the phone number on you, Dimitri? What? I

see, just ask for Amsk information.

 

I'm sorry too, Dimitri. I'm very sorry. All right, you're

sorrier than I am, but I can be sorry as well. I am as

sorry as you are, Dimitri. Don't say that you're more

sorry than I am, because I'm capable of being just as

sorry as you are. So we're both sorry, all right? All

right.

 

Ewen McGregger from Trainspotting

 

"Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a ****ing big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose DIY and wondering who the **** you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing ****ing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, ****ed up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?"

 

 

Clint Eastwood from Dirty Harry…..

I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk?"

 

 

Samuel L Jackson from Pulp Fiction….

 

There's this passage I got memorized, Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you." I been sayin' that s*** for years. And if you heard it, that meant your ass. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was some coldblooded s*** to say to a mother f***er before I popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some s*** this mornin' made me think twice. See now I'm thinkin', maybe it means you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could mean you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. Now I like that. But that s*** ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I am the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin’ Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd.

 

Others I like but can't remember them in detail............................

 

Napalm monologue by Robert Duvall in Apocalypse Now

Watch-up-the-ass monologue by Christopher Walken in Pulp Fiction

Kevin Spaceys voice over in American Beauty

 

 

what are your favourites.

Harold Shand's speech at the yanks in the hotel room in The Long Good Friday containing such references as "What I'm looking for is someone who can contribute to what England has given to the world: culture, sophistication, genius. A little bit more than an hot dog, know what I mean?" "I'm glad I found out in time just what a partnership with a pair of w****rs like you would've been. A sleeping partner's one thing, but you're in a f***ing coma! No wonder you've got an energy crisis your side of the water"

 

I love it in Kill Bill Vol. 2 when Elle Driver is reading the description of a black mamba :lol: Especially the bit about "gargantuan"...

Criswells speach at the beggining and end of Plan 9 From Outer space was good