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"Bad attention span: final boss"

A few months ago I discovered something that gave me a good laugh, so I wrote it down in my notes as something that I could write about. Little did I know that it would sit in my notes folder like food dropped under the bed; it was old and dusty... and after a little dig in my notes, I rediscovered the idea, so, like classic me, I thought it would make somewhat of an entertaining post.

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When scrolling, I saw an app advertised that appeared to offer a questionable service... When I say "questionable", I'm not talking about the "sus" kind of questionable; this isn't a "Laura is 5 miles from your area" kind of situation. This is more like a "The BBC cancelled my favourite show?! What on earth will I do?" kind of questionable.

Anyways, this app was a music app that offered to cut the part you want out of songs, so for example (and an advertised example), if you don't want to hear a song build-up, then you can just skip to the hook and have that part loop over instead of having to hear the build-up or outro. Now, this has caused backlash from both sides; let me explain...

On one hand there are "the haters"; they argue that a song's full structure is important and cutting out parts creates a more brainrotted generation which just looks for hooks. And if I'm being honest, I side with this group of people… Like, yeah, another person's listening habits don't harm me, but this whole app is just so stupid that it still pisses me off. Let's be honest, though, the only people using this app are TikTok music addicts who are sick of hearing the buildup on "Skibidi Phonk" and instead want to unlock full mewing potential by, let's say, skipping to the hook? You know how absolutely stupid that sounds?

Now let's see the second side, the lovers. These are the people who are sick of hearing 15-second build-ups and want to instead skip to the drama, the juice, the part that makes them wet. Etc. They argue that the hook is the most crucial (and only important) part of enough songs that downloading an app to manage this is crucial. And as you can probably guess, I DON'T agree with this side… I mean, how do you just listen to a minute-long hook over and over anyway with no compliments to the sound? And what about if you plan to see them live? What will you say then? "Mummy, MUMMY! I don't remember "All Too Well" being 10 minutes?? I only remember 15 seconds!" Or how about when you're doing karaoke to sing along? What if you're in Squid Game and must recite all the lyrics or get shot by the doll thingy? I said, 'What if?' WHAT IF.

Anyways, I'm excited to hear your replies and opinions. I'll be nice to everyone who gives me a genuine opinion instead of leaving a comment that sounds like a Nicki Minaj X insult.

Oh, and I'd also like to clarify that the "shots" in this write-up are all over-exaggerated jokes of my actual opinion. If you do actually like "Skibidi Toilet", then I'm sure you're a high intellectual individual who ranks among Einstein and such science professors, so don't be pissed. Anyways, byeeee!

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