Posted August 2Aug 2 A leaked document shows that the international Olympic Committee is considering changes to some events for the 2028 Games in Los Angeles. AthleticsSome of the races will be split with hydration breaks in between. For example, the 5000m will be run as three 1500m races followed by 100m and 400m. The times will be combined to determine the winner. There will be no hydration break between the 400m and 100m races. If all US athletes have been eliminated, the events will resume their traditional format as no US network will show the race, thereby eliminating the need for a hydration break. Marathon This will be run over 13 days with competitors running one mile in the morning, and another mile in the afternoon. There will be a hydration break between the end of the 26th mile and the final 385 yards. Some athletes will be exempt from the final 385 yards with their time for that distance officially recorded as zero. Those athletes will be selected by Donald J Trump. Javelin This will become a more archery-based event. Competitors will aim for a target on the ground, centred around a picture of someone Donald J Trump doesn’t like. The bull’s eye will be in a place yet to be determined, probably the heart or the centre of the forehead. DivingThe rigid system of scoring will be abandoned. All dives will be judged by Donald J Trump. Baseball Only countries with a team that has won the World Series will be able to take part.GolfDonald J Trump will be presented with the gold medal at the opening ceremony. Cricket The International Cricket Council has been instructed to consider new ways for dismissing a batter to provide more opportunity for hydration breaks. This includes allowing the fielding side to obstruct batters running between wickets, thereby increasing the number of run outs. This may only be allowed if three complete overs have been bowled without a wicket being taken. Football Before the Games begin FIFA will auction off “bonus goals”. At the end of each match there will be a hydration break which teams can use to decide whether to use any of their bonus goals. Gianni Infantino will claim a 20% commission from each payment. The host nation will be given one free bonus goal for each match. Penalty shootouts will be abolished. If a match is tied after 90 minutes in the knock-out stage, the teams will bid for an extra bonus goal. The higher bid will win. If both teams make the same bid, extra time will be played. If the teams are still tied, there will be another bonus goal bid. Bids will continue until one side wins. Again, a 20% commission will be awarded to Infantino. Under the terms of the agreement with the Trump administration, this commission is payable to Infantino personally, not the incumbent president of FIFA. Bigly GoodThis new event will see gold medals handed out to any athlete judged to have done bigly good. The event will be judged by the host nation’s president, Donald J Trump. There will be no limit to the number of medals awarded.
August 2Aug 2 If there is any green algae found in the swimming pool, will Trump have all the swimmers arrested?
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