What does God have against Las Vegas?

 

Well, apparently, dude's got a problem with both the Killers and Panic! At the Disco, two of the city's biggest bands. I learned this from Lovegodsway.org, a holier-than-thou band-policing Web site that poses the burning question, "Who would Jesus persecute for being different?"

 

According to Lovegodsway, you should be wary of both the aforementioned groups because they're gay. (I wonder if the wife of Killers' frontman Brandon Flowers knows about this?)

 

But hey, the Killers and Panic! are in good company. Metallica, the Rolling Stones and Jay-Z also are gay, unbeknownst to anyone with a functioning cerebellum.

 

And that's not all. Despite branding as homosexual such notorious womanizers as Motörhead's Lemmy Kilmister -- just don't ask me how the dude does it -- and Ted Nugent -- because he once wore a loincloth -- the group lists Morrisey as "questionable."

 

Hmm, looks like somebody's gaydar might need some fresh batteries.

 

The site attempts to make up for this oversight, however, by listing Elton John twice and dubbing him "really gay," as opposed to "semi-gay," "kinda-sorta-gay" or "yeah-I-own-a-few-Rufus-Wainwright-records gay."

 

All of this begs the obvious question: Who are the safe, straight bands?

 

P.O.D. Evanescence. dc Talk. Jars of Clay.

 

Yikes. Remind me never to kick it with the Good Lord. His record collection is about as fun as a pulled groin.

 

Seriously, though, I should probably stop cracking jokes. (Just because no one ever laughs doesn't mean they're not jokes. I think.)

 

After all, Lovegodsway has a really important message to spread.

 

"One of the most dangerous ways homosexuality invades family life is through popular music," the Web site states. "Parents should keep careful watch over their children's listening habits, especially in this Internet age of MP3 piracy."

 

Indeed, you wouldn't want junior to buy a Nickelback record and start waxing his chest and belting out show tunes, now would you?

 

Honestly, if I were a member of any of the bands named by this site, I'd be kind of flattered, because it presumes to give these acts far more power over their audiences than they actually possess.

 

In reality -- a far different realm than the operators of this site inhabit -- no one has ever changed his sexual preference after listening to a Melissa Etheridge LP, just like the nutjobs in Columbine didn't shoot people because of Marilyn Manson and no one ever offed themselves after spinning some Judas Priest.

 

All music does is stimulate what's already there, the way sunlight makes a plant grow (provided, of course, that a seed was already in place).

 

So if the makers of this site are feeling a little gay after listening to some Nirvana, maybe they should just go with it. Think how much better their parties would be.

 

SOURCE

:rofl: that site sounds ridiculous :huh:

Yeah, it was a pretty shameful article, but I wanted you people to read it to see how ridiculous it was :lol: